Dear Sue,
I see that you are still coming on the site as you are replying to other people’s posts. I didn’t register with the site for a long time, I just used to follow the posts and inparticular Lisa’s story.
I just wanted to say that I am still thinking of you and Simon and the rest of Lisa’s family and friends and hoping that you are all coping as well as can be expected.
I have the greatest respect for you and wish you all the best
Sinead x
Thank you so much Sinead. Yes i still like to follow other people on here who i got to know through posting about Lisa and who I like to think are now friends especially after all the wonderful support and words that were sent to us … and occasionally I am tempted to add my bit … just hope its Ok with the moderator to do that … I am hoping that when we get the results of Lisa’s post mortem back it will be of help to someone else. I was told that it could be about 6 weeks but I will let everyone know when it does.
Not sure how I am coping … really its one day at a time. Each morning I plan to do certain things that day. I have very bad moments of course where I suddenly feel the loss especially when I see other mothers and daughters together or I suddenly remember something that Lisa & I were going to do this summer. So much was left undone because she didn’t expect to die yet and also because she was young. So much living still to do but it unfortunately it wasn’t to be. I have to comfort myself with remembering that she had been in a lot of pain the last few weeks and the last few days had a palsy in her face which she may never have lost had nerves been damaged permanently and she would have hated that. I feel in quite a dark place at times and there is a hole which will never be filled but I have to pull myself together and try to be strong because Lisa was always a Mums girl and would have hated me to make myself ill over this. I can’t resist visiting the cemetery each day as its not far and at the moment there are still a few things to do which I consider are still for Lisa which really helps … such as finalizing the grave stone, collecting the donations together ready to send to the hospital ( we decided to have donations sent to the Trust Fund of the 2 cancer wards at Bournemouth hospital to but all those extra things that can make cancer patients lives more comfortable). There have been so many donations coming in to us and the Funeral Director and we have been amazed at just how popular and loved my girl was by everyone she knew… and other jobs like that. I try to space out what has to be done so there is something positive each day.
Once again thank you for writing and for thinking about us. Simon went back to work yesterday and said it wasn’t as bad as he thought but it was the coming home that is the worst of course. He has got a little lump on his chest but has been told its a sebaceous cyst and is having it removed tonight. He was going to leave it but then thought how Lisa would have insisted that he went. Ironically the surgeon who is doing it is the same one who did Lisa’s mastectomy.
Love Sue x
Sue I think you are amazing and think it’s wonderful that you still post on this site. After all it is not only the person who has the cancer who suffers, it is those closest to them and there is nothing closer than a mother daughter relationship, especially yours and Lisa’s by the sound of it! I am 32 years old and I have two children and I am so grateful that it is me going through this and not my children and although they are young at the moment, I’m know I would feel the same however old they were.
I think that the way you are dealing with things at the moment is admirable and taking every day as it comes is probably the only way to get through these first days. I’m glad that it is a comfort to you to know that Lisa was so popular, even to everyone on this site who never met her.
Hope Simon is ok after having his cyst removed and I hope you continue to post and let us know how you are doing.
Take Care Sue
Sinead x
Notice you are still helping us on this site and want you to know I still think of Lisa. Love Eileen