My cancer was not diagnosed for nearly 3 years, despite me going repeatedly back to my GP and the breast clinic, and I have just been told by my solicitor that there is no case to answer because the consultant was “sure” it was a cyst. Apparently nipple cancers are notoriously difficult to diagnose, so he couldn’t have been expected to do any better.
I am devastated. It’s not about compensation, it’s about everything I have been through because of the late diagnosis; I had to have chemo, I lost my lymph nodes, I have to have treatment for lyphedema for the rest of my life, I have a blood clot that will never go - the list goes on and on. I have never felt more worthless, and more like I don’t matter.
This isn’t the first time Blackpool Victoria Hospital have mucked up, but this time it’s just me, so it doesn’t matter.
You absolutely have my sympathy. Like you I have lymphoedema and some long lasting side effects from chemo ( nerve damage) but at least I don’t have the agony of misdiagnosis and the potential what if scenario that you must keep going over in your mind. But where we both are is a new kind of normal -not the people we were before, but we need to find a way to go forward and make the most of the lives we have. Don’t let this beat you -you do matter and you can find happiness even with the problems that you still have. Take small positive steps every day and be determined that things will improve in your life. You have been told that there is no way you can take the hospital’s mistakes any further from a legal point of view so the only way you can deal with this without it eating you up is to try accept that there is no more you can do to right the wrong you have been done. It’s not OK what has happened to you and is very unfair, but you need to find as a way to move forward and find ways to enjoy life again.
So sorry to read what you’re going through. I can understand why you feel so devastated, being told you have cancer is a mind blowing experience but for it take 3 years to get diagnosed is horrific. I too have been getting treatment at BVH, I have been very fortunate and have had fantastic care from the breast, oncology & Macmillan units. The initial wait from seeing my GP, after finding my lump, through to diagnosis and then surgery was short compared to your journey (only 8 weeks) so what you have been through is horrendous. I hope you can find a way to come to terms with what has happened to you. As Amero says none of us will ever be that same person again, I am struggling at the moment to see when I will ever return to ‘normal’. I am being made redundant from my job at the end of the month, I knew it was on the cards but it has totally pulled the rug out from under my feet. I thought I’d been coping quite well with my diagnosis and treatments but now feel like I’m going out of my mind. I feel I have a lot of anger inside me, not sure if you feel the same. I have spoken to a lovely lady at the BVH Macmillan Windmill Unit and have an appointment to go in for chat. Maybe you could consider doing that? Family and friends try their best to be supportive and we really appreciate them but unless they have been through a cancer diagnosis and treatments it’s hard to understand exactly how we feel, even more so in your case given the length of time to get diagnosed. I hope you can find someone to talk to because you do matter and Macmillan are there to support all of us.
I agree with Vik. Speaking to someone might really help. I had counselling last year when my little boy was seriously ill and I had just been diagnosed. I became clinically depressed because I couldn’t do anything about the situation with my son and while it didn’t make the situation any better (nothing could) it helped me find ways to cope with what had happened to me and to my family. I hope you can get some assistance through Macmillan. I hope that life improves for both of you too.
I am in a very similar situation to you and you have my heartfelt feelings about this.
My GP never referred me despite years of visiting with right breast problems, including a lump.
You are not worthless, just because people try to make you feel worthless.
So the first time I got referred to the Breast Clinic, my cancer was 3.5 cm and in three nodes. I have lympoedema too, although only in my breast. I have also been referred to the pain clinic as I suffer with the most horrendous neuropathic pain on my chest wall, armpit and whole arm.
I hate it when people say ‘are you ok now?’, I always say yes, but really I want to say ‘NO, I effing well am not!’
I was thinking of advice to give you, but I can’t think of any, I am so pissed off and full of anger, I can’t shift it even though I know it is unhealthy. I am moving on with my life now though, I have a new job, nice hair and still like shopping. One day at a time.