Thank you Revcat. I know you have had a busy time with work so know you cannot be everywhere all the timme>
I was clearing out my Mum's clothes on Friday and took them all to the local charity shop. This was not as harrowing as I thought it would be....until I came to the outfir she wore to my wedding in 1971....the fact that she had kept it all this time was very poignant. But Dad wanted me to move her clothes so it needed to be done. It is just over a month since Mum died yet I think of her everyday. I was licking the spoon after making a sponge and it took me back to my early years. I was later making lasagne and thought I woud take some to my Mum.....then I realised......I suppose this is just normal reaction. I am oky about Mum dying now, She was not the Mum that I remember as she was very confused and unhappy at her nursing home. Plus it has taken the strain off my Dad so that he can rest more although I do think that he is rather lonely now. Thanks for all you kind thoughts. Val
Val I am so sorry I only just spotted this thread, so am posting very late on. I am sure a month on the grief is still raw and the ache of separation keen, but I also know that your Mum is now free from suffering and at rest.
Sending you a belated hug, and thinking of you and your family as you carry on living and loving as your Mum would wish you to. <<< HUG >>>
We all want to offer our support because you are such a lovely person.
You give so much to others, so in turn it is good that we can support you too when it is needed.
Take good care. Being responsible for your parents is not an easy time.
I nursed my Mum with BC for five years and then my Dad for ten with dementia. I can understand your plight but not the fear that you may not outlive your Dad.
That must be very very hard to consider....
Now that I have time and the funeral is over and the paperwork done I woud just like to thank everyine for your messages to me. It is of comfort to me now that I can go back to these posts and actually take them in properly.
I think Mum had a good life but she had been in a nursing home for many years and she was unhappyy with her quality of life. She could no longer enjoy the things she loved to do. She could no longer read or follow a TV programme, not bake a cake or potter in the garden or spend time with her family. Dad has not been great since she died as every day he visited her at the Home unless she had other visitors to give him the afternoon off. He has great gaps in his day now that are not filled with visiting.
But we have completed al the paperwork we can now and there is not more to be done for the moment. His affairs have been dealt with and now his Solicitor is dealing with a few loose ends. But it has made Dad think too about puting his own affairs into order and allowing me to become a power of autorney should he be unable to cope with things in the future. It was difficut speaking to the solicitor because I had to point out that it was possibe that I could go before my dad without dad actually taking this in, perhaps the fact that he is partly deaf is a bonus here.
The letters of support and the kindness of you all has brought a tear or two but I just want to say just how much it means to me to know you all care. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Val
Thank you all above for your kind thoughts. The funeral went well on Thursday and my dad is looking less stressed now.
I have my elder daughter home for a week from France which is the good part and I am sitting on the sofa with both daughters now. I think my fridge is being emptied as we speak but I do not mind as it is good to see them eating up all the extra food we have bought in....just like old times when they lived here at home. I am seeing my Consultant tomorrow and go to the ward for my usual treatment on Tuesday. Still have paperwork to complete and Mum's clothes to sort but that can be done in the weeks ahead when I am ready. i really appreciate your support. It helps. Love Val
val,so sorry you have lost your mum,i lost my mum to this awful disease 22 yrs ago and still miss her,she was my best friend and she died at age 51,the same as i am now,but i often talk to her and feel she is still around.condolences to you and your dad,xx
thinking of you,Di
Thanks Lucinda and Lesley. It is good of you both to post. I am doing okay but am not my usual self I know. Cannot do much now that the plans are in place for the funeral. Doing stuff to keep my mind busy so that thoughts do not keep creeping in. But I am not uspet. I thought I would be. I am sad. But she was so unhappy with life that I feel she is at peace now. I feel more concerned about my Dad right now. But he wants to be in his own house and has even done his usual Saturday shopping which was part of his routine. He is going into the garden to do some light weeding this afternoon which is the place he most likes to be. Life goes on. Love Val
Please accept my sincere condolances to you and your family at this sad time. I lost my mum 2years,ago and my brother last year. I am still grieving. I try to think of,them waiting just across a bridge in another dimension in time. God grant you courage and strength. Love, and kindest regards. Pauline. xxx
So sorry for your loss, I was 16 when my beautiful mum died of this shitty disease, (40 years ago ) her passing was anything but peaceful, my only wish now is that when it s my turn to die of this leviathan that my daughter finds it a peaceful episode. xx please God a cure soon
gods speed x
It is coming up to 24 years since my Mum died; she was 53 but age doesn't matter when it is your Mum. I was thankful to be with her at the end and to know that she was peaceful. You spoke of this Val and it might not seem like it immediately whilst emotions are still raw but I hope that it will help in time.
Keeping you in my thoughts scottishlass,