Thank you lovely ladies for your comments, I just had a really bad day yesterday, hence my return to this site. I have recently had some treatment for a dodgy smear test and now this whole situation is terrifying me. My mother was passed from hospital to hospital and I spent every day, all day with her while she was ill. We were very close and she was a wonderful nurse if ever I was ill. I am an only child and my friends are good, however very busy with their own lives. I am a person who listens to others and hates to be a burden to anyone. Maybe I do need some help as I am feeling quite low at the moment. I dont have the time to be ill as I have a busy life. My husband is a good man but hopeless at anything practical that involves organising or housework !! I am just praying that I am going to be OK. X
I am so sorry to hear about your Mum. I lost my Mum 13 years ago and I still miss her loads. However, as the time has gone on, I have been able to think of her without getting upset every time. It would seem that from what you said there are two things really bothering you. One is trying to cope with life without your mother and the obvious grief you have. The other is your fear of developing the same type of cancer that your mother had. Its so difficult to think rationally at the best of times when having to wait for test results but you have the grieving of your mother to go through and at times like this you especially need her there to support you. From what you have written, I do think you should seek counselling about your mother's death. I didn't at first because I thought I was strong enough to cope but as the years passed and I got more upset, I decided to have counselling. It helped me trememdously as I learned how to think of my mum in a different way without getting so upset all the time. As for the worrying about how you would cope if you did have BC, I am sure you would, but don't think too far ahead as it will drive you crazy.
My mum passed away from cancer just under 18 months ago. She didn't live close by, but we spoke regularly and got together as much as we could. She too adored her grandchildren. I was diagnosed with secondaries (within a week of primary diagnosis) in March of this year and the first person I wanted to talk to about it (after my husband) was my mum. So I can relate with you so much. Her cancer was aggressive and she passed away within three months of diagnosis.
I have found that I have to focus on myself, my husband and my children. I take each day as it comes. I would echo Anne's advise to seek advice and support.
Keep up with the forums and take good care of yourself.
Wishing you all the best,
I am so sorry about your mum - she was a lucky woman to have been so loved and had a daughter that misses her as much as you do. Please take comfort from the fact that you were very close and had that wonderful relationship.
Waiting for results is so difficult, if it's any help when I had my mammogram the doctor knew immediately that it was breast cancer. They took a core biopsy the same day and I was told at the end of the proceedure that it was probably bc with lymph node involvement. I would hope that the fact you have to wait for results is good news. Perhaps you should go back to your new GP and let her know how you are feeling to get some support. And keep posting on the forum there are many knowledgable women here who will be able to offer advise. I do hope you get your results soon and it is good news.
Lots of love Anne xx
Whilst you wait for the other forum users to reply with their experiences you may find it helps to talk things through with somebody. If you think this would help please don't hesitate to give the BCC helpline a call as here you can talk with one of our trained members of staff who will offer you a 'listening ear' as well as support and information. The number to call is 0808 800 6000 and the lines are open 9am to 5pm Monday to Friday and 9am to 2pm Saturday.
I hope this helpful.
Sam (BCC Facilitator)
Its been a long time since I used this wonderful forum, I have just spent 15 minutes trying to work out how to use it !!I lost my mum 3 and a half years ago and miss her desperately. Not an hour goes by when I dont think of her and I still cry every day, mainly when I am driving or when I am alone at home. I miss so many things about her and she was my best friend. Her grandson is growing in to a beautiful boy and doing so well at school. She loved him to bits and never missed a sports day, school play, football match etc and she has missed so many things and his first year at senior school. I have tears in my eyes so often as she would love to be involved.
Anyway, in January this year I found a lump, same place as mums. I went to my doctor who dismissed it twice which amazed me as he knew my family history. I went back a month later as I had twitching and little stabbing pains in the breast and armpit, again he said it was nothing to worry about. I recently changed doctors as I moved to a small town that was out the catchment area for the surgery so I now have a female young very switched on doctor who referred me immediately on an urgent appt. I went to the hospital on monday and had a mammogram. I can feel the lump daily and at times its painful but the doctor was not sure if it was there or not so called both a student doctor and the consultant who was a little blunt and stated it was most likely breast tissue. I was sent home and told that the consultant would write to me in 7-10 days. I cried for my mum all the way home and couldnt bear to go through what she did. I have a child I adore and who needs me as does my husband who does not cope well with illness.It would kill my father if anything happened to me as he lives for my son and I. I just needed to let off steam !!!