More mature post menopausal women

[Guest user]

Good evening gals! Had my 4th FEC today into PICC - must say it was MUCH better than Mac nurse poking around trying to find a juicy vein. Also had less of the "strange" sensation experienced from the delivery of the steroid!! Fully expect usual 5 or so days of weirdness but there's only 2 more cycles to go so onwards and upwards.

Hope you're all doing ok 🙂

Bye for now

Jan xx

[bluebird]

Ater my node sampling op, like Gendolyn, I also felt I needed a lot of sleep for a couple of weeks. At least when I have my main op (early next year I hope) I will be prepared and expect to sleep for hours and hours at night for a while.
Julie

[Guest user]

Hi Golden Girls

What a Plonker !!!!!!!!!!!

I thought I was going to start my rads today -but it was the planning and the rads start Tuesday week !!!!!!!!!!!! Gosh and Ive got my freezer full of easy stuff to cook for quick dinners as well.

So I got all your best wishes by false pretences - sorreeeeeee

Best wishes to everyone else who really does start their treatment in the next few days .

[Guest user]

Hi everyone,
can't stop sleeping after op - makes up for the weeks before I suppose. I have caught up with all the posts and am thinking of all of you.
Off for another nap. x

[Eliza]

All the best for tomorrow, Janet.

Glad to hear that you're feeling fine now, missmessy and hopefully you will have a bust couple of weeks so you don't get too stressed about the results.

Great news that the tumour is shrinking and things are looking hopeful for the WLE, Julie.

Eliza xx

[Guest user]

evening golden girls
just wanted to say good luck to everybody having treatment today tomorrow and the rest of the week will be thinking of you all and hope we all have good results.i too was scared of having lymphoedema so when i developed it i was really anxious but i have it under control now with the seroma and do most things with no problems hope this info helps with worries . hello eliza thank you for asking i am fine now i just threw a wobbley all the horrible memories came back and i didnt want to go i felt silly because it was just a mammagram but, scared of results im fine now but have to wait 1 to 2 weeks for results so i am goig to do a lot of those lovely recipes off the other thread to keep me busy missmessyx

[bluebird]

Hi

Had my appointment with the onc today.

He found it harder to find and size my tumour today and he said it seemed smaller, so it looks like it may have started to shrink.:) (I've been on Femara/Zoladex for 2 months now.). I'm having an ultrasound in a couple of weeks, so next time I see him, I should know for sure. I know I may need a few more months on hormones before surgery (I want to have a WLE rather than MX) but at least it is looking hopeful.

He also said I will probably stop Zoladex after my operation, so hopefully my side effects may not be as bad and my body may get used to not having oestrogen. At the moment I cannot imagine being able to do my teaching job unless they do.

Last, but not least, it looks as though my cancer may qualify as a 'critical illness' so I rang the insurance company this afternoon and they are sending me the forms. This will certainly help if I have to reduce my hours when I return to work.

The only downside of today's appointment is that my Zoladex injection has left a nasty bruise for the first time.

Julie

[Guest user]

Hi

Best wishes to everyone experiencing some of their ongoing treatment tomorrow.

Jaybee I had full node clearance nearly 2 years ago now. Like saffronseed I watch my arm like a hawk in case of any swelling. Before they decided that the swelling on my non breast side was a massive seroma I was referred to the Lymphodema nurse who gave me the basics of suggested drainage technic. I have kept the paperwork just in case. I hope it all goes OK and your worries are unfounded. Chemo is horrible but doable. You will find all the help and advice you need on here.

Fluffycat I hope your first rads goes OK. I found the rads part easy - it was the daily 2 hour journey into London the tiring part. My own hospital does not have a radiotherapy department. Look after your skin like they advise - the effects carry on for a little while when the sessions are all finished.

My wig was an NHS one, cut by my own hairdresser and for someone who's hair has never been their crowning glory I was very happy with it once I had come to terms the the actual hair loss. Indoors I didn't bother I seemed to live in a buff. Easy to put on and inexpensive - I had them in all sorts of colours and patterns. My hair came back pretty quickly, even starting to show signs of baby regrowth before I had finished Tax.

Love and Best wishes to everyone undergoing treatment or awaiting results

Andie

[Guest user]

Jaybee46- I had full axillary node clearance with mastectomy 3 weeks ago. I too was worried about lymphoedema but was reassured that it isnt that common these days - it happened more in the past with radical mastectomies where chest muscle was also removed.
In comparison to the wide excision and SNB I had a month before, where 5 nodes were removed, the difference this time is numbness in the armpit and the back of the arm, and strange trickling sensations. But this is gradually improving.
I must say though that I'm bored with the seroma that fills up the same day it gets aspirated.
And Diana - I too have an addiction problem - cant walk past my laptop without checking for updates! But it will keep me occupied in wee small hours when I cant sleep due to the chemo - so I've been told.
Di
x

[saffronseed]

Hi to all... Janet I had full node clearance after 9 lymph nodes had traces of cancer that was in March this year. I also had a Mx, following WLE when they didn't get clear margins. I had a heamotoma which went away after about two months - I massaged it daily with bio oil - I had no Seroma at all.

I keep an eye of both my arms, as I had one node removed from my good side too - but so far no Lymphodema, I do keep watching for swellings etc but nothing so you may be lucky too.

In respect of SE from Chemo, I notice from this site how different we all are. I didn't experience very many physical effects, main problem was tierdness - I slept for England whilst going through Chemo - so again quite lucky and I managed to work through chemo too (my choice) so it wasn't that bad. good luck with your treatment x

[ragamuffin]

Hi Janet
Just wanted to wish you well for tomorrow - sending positive vibes to scare away any hiccups similar to those you had last time ((x))

I'm worried that I'm addicted to the forum I spend far too much time browsing through all the different threads. Having house renovations done so tend to closet myself in the bedroom where the computer is to keep out of the way. Also like to keep an eye what is being done so pop out for a green tea from time to time. What with the forum and emails back and forth to friends I'm turning into a geek.
Diana

[Guest user]

Hi Golden girls
Off to hospital tomorrow for full node clearance. I have been told I should be home on Friday but we will see as I seem to have all the side effects - like seroma amd Heamatoma so I am expecting something to go wrong this time. I dread chemo as I am convinced that I will be the one with every side effect going !Has anyone had experience of full node clearance and/or Lypodeamia?I must say that I am more anxious about this than I was for the Mastectomy - perhaps ignorance is bliss and the results of this (after another 2-3 weeks) will determine the treatment but since the tumour was grade 3 and one out of 4 nodes was cancerous I really Know what is coming next and trying to come to terms with it.
Best wishes to everyone

[AnneG]

Hi Letitia57
I am triple positive. I had a grade 3 tumour plus DCIS and had a WLE, FEC, rads then a year of Herceptin. Now I am on Aromasin. I was diagnosed 3 and a half years ago and finished Herceptin 2 years ago. Originally I thought I would have the WLE then rads, but when the pathology showed it to be a grade 3 tumour, the treatment plan changed radically. However, the time went reasonably quickly and I went back to work after the 2nd dose of Herceptin.

It sounds as if your treatment is happening in a different order to mine if you are starting Herceptin and chemo together. When I had Herceptin, I just felt really lucky to get it, because a year before it wasn't approved by NICE for primary cancer.

If I can help with any questions you have, feel free to PM me.

All the best
Anne

[Guest user]

Hi LETITIA57

I am HER2+, but not triple positive. I have had 6 FEC-T and I have had 12 of 18 herceptin. I had mx in Sept 09 and 25 rads. The treatment when you start seems like forever, but it goesso quickly. This time last year I had only had my 1st FEC, Iam now back at work, my hair is back even if very short and very very very curly. I have 6 more herceptin to go.

Look luck and keep smiling to everyone starting this journey

Marian

[CheshireCheese]

How confusing re the hormone therapy!

I thought it was supposed to be relatively straightforward - pre-menopausal you get tamox, peri-menopausal get tamox until considered post-menopausal then switch to AI, and post-menopausal get AI from the start. With variations for those who can't tolerate some treatments.

But it sounds like you ladies have been offered every permutation under the sun!

Sarah x

[Guest user]

Hello Golden Girls

Just back from having the PICC fitted - must say it wasn't as bad as I was expecting. The worst bit was the local anaesthetic and after that I didn't feel a thing. The whole procedure was carried out by a lovely nurse called Joan who blethered away to me the whole time and really took my mind off it. It took about half an hour - after that I saw the oncologist who seemed quite happy with progress and booked me in for 3 weeks of rads towards the end of January.

When I mentioned yesterday about my hair, I forgot to tell you that I have 2 wigs (provided by the NHS). They are absolutely fabulous - they were modelled in the catalogue by Raquel Welch but any similarity stops there! I got my hairdresser to trim one of them up for me and I'm really pleased with it. I have to say that I don't mind the bald head but you know what it's like when out and about - I don't want to frighten any children 🙂

Well, its FEC No 4 tomorrow straight into the catheter in my arm so we'll see how that goes. Thanks for the birthday greetings - think I'll be cracking open the wine tonight.

Bye for now ladies

Jan xx

[Guest user]

To Susieb

Just wanted to say good luck to you with the onc appointment tomorrow susie b.. thinking of you.

Any one else HER2+? I am just about coming to terms with my path report and wondered if there was anyone else out there who was triple positive? I have entered it into the search but it only brings up triple negative resposes... have been a bit down about it as there was quite a big difference from the original diagnosis which seemed to indicate it would all be so much easier (if cancer ever can be) to the one received on Thursday last. I am due to go to the wig people on Thursday (having my hair cut short this week and then will shave it just before chemo) and due to start chemo and herceptin in the next 2-3 weeks. It all seems so 'definite' now and is a little daunting...

[swallowtail]

Hi Fluffycat I started my rads last Tuesday and its finenothing to woory about, the worst bit is the waiting I have had to wait for 2 hours but this morning I was straight in and out in 15 mins, good luck for tomorrow,
Celia,x

[ragamuffin]

Hi Fluffycat
Will be thinking of you- all the best- and let us know how you go.
Diana

[Guest user]

Greetings all you golden girls

Think of me tomorrow ladies as Im due to start my rads .
I dont know what to expect -Im not too worried though - Im probably more concerned about my OH having to rush about ( he is in his 70's

[ragamuffin]

Greetings Golden Girls

Lots of appointments this week. I went for a pre-op assessment yesterday and had a couple of surprises, the ECG threw up a heart block problem and the anaesthetist decided to have numerous x-rays of my neck in case they need to give me an anaesthetic through my nose rather than through my mouth. Horrible thought- has anyone else had that? Apart from that all was OK - my son rang me in the waiting room to announce that he is now expecting his first baby. What joy- it really gives me something fantastic to look forward to.

Jan -happy birthday I hope you were able to stop for a celebratory meal.

Wendy -good to hear you are home with blood pressure in tact! Hope you have a reasonable night.

Andie - good luck with the Thursday results.

Peachez- Rant on we'll all listen- hope you get going soon.

Sarah- they put me on Tamoxifen because I have osteopaenia in my back and Tam. can strengthen bones in p-m women- first choice was Letrazole until they saw the bone density scan.

Grinners are winners- Keep grinning! Diana

[Guest user]

Hi Golden Girls

Gwendolyn there really is no place like home.Take care of your self.

Di when they list off you treatment plan is does sound as if it will go on for ever, I found with every new thing I tried to think - that is one down that will not have to done again.

I am on Letrozole for 5 years although my onc did mention if it became too hard on my joints they might switch me next year to Tamoxifen. Having adjusted to the side effects now I hope to argue the point and stay as I am. A bridge to be crossed next June.

Take care all you precious ladies

Andie

[Guest user]

Hi all,
Am just out of hospital. My second operation as they found invasive breast cancer when had an op 3 weeks ago for Grade 2 DCIS. My sentinel lymph nodes are clear in the provisional test and so they just did the WLE again so no drains. So only a day operation, although touch and go as blood pressure dropped so low and they said I couldn't go until it got to 90.Going back in 2 weeks to get full results and so 20% chance of having to go back in again. My arm and boob are very uncomfortable but so glad to be back at home again.

[Guest user]

Hi to all,
Went for my first oncology appt yesterday. Quite shocked at the duration of treatment needed. Start EC and then Tax in 2 weeks at Christies (over 24 weeks), then to have 15 sessions of radiotherapy, and then a year of intravenous Herceptin as I am HER2 positive at level 3. All a bit scary to say the least.
Jan - I know how you feel. I too am a nurse taking stock of my future. Hope the PICC procedure went ok.
Di

[Eliza]

Morning everyone, and welcome to our new Golden Girls.

How are you after the mammogram, missmessy? Last year my first one was a year to the day after my surgery and the radiographer thought it was rather bad timing and was very thoughtful.

Sarah, I have just switched to Aromasin after nearly 2 years of tamoxifen.

Good luck for today's PICC appointment, Jan. Yes, I really do think that having cancer makes you re-evaluate and re-prioritise.

Eliza xx

[Guest user]

Oops sorry about the spelling error on my last post should have checked it before clicking on submit!

[Guest user]

Hi Sarah I have no idea why they have only offered Tamoxifen I did not know it was not usually given to post menapausal women. I just take whatever they suggest and hope it works!
Eileen

[scottishlass]

Hi Jan Better luck this time. Glad to see you posted again. I have sent you a PM. Welcome to our thread and glad to have you on board. If we can help at any time just ask. One of us may be able to help. I think being a nurse can be difficult when you are ill yourself as you sometimes can know too much. But us old biddies have experienced a lot and are here to help. Love Val

[Guest user]

Hi gals, this is me trying to post again. Hope it lands this time! I'm 59 tomorrow and off to Raigmore to have PICC fitted. Not looking forward to this - I'm a nurse and a Health Visitor and I know all about PICCs but feel really uneasy about it. Its being fitted because I've had pain in the arm where the chemo goes and my Mac nurse feels its my veins protesting. What a way to spend your birthday - if I'm feeling ok on the way back home (it's over 2 hours drive) we may stop somewhere nice to eat. Plus I have to be there by 0830 so that's a very early start!

Anyway - trying to remember what I wrote last time: was diagnosed in June, had WLE and lymph sampling in July. Had clear margins and lymph but because tumour was HER2 neg, have had to have FEC. Am now halfway through that with number 4 due on Wednesday. I always have a week afterward where I feel pretty crappy - OH is brilliant, just lets me lie in bed until I feel better. Hair on head has pretty much gone although I did shave most of it off when it started dropping out. However, have not noticed any other body hair dropping out - was hoping the facial stray whiskers would disappear but no such luck! Radiotherapy is planned for new year.

Just want it all over - plan to go back to work but may well drop a day and decide whether/when to retire. Having cancer has certainly made me evaluate my life.

I don't think I've forgotten anything from my previous post which is now in the ether somewhere. Look forward to hearing from you all.

Chins up Golden Girls - Love Jan xx

[Janice]

Commenting on what sarah says, I am 63 and on Tamoxifen the reason being I took Fermara for 12 months and it did'nt work so as Tamoxifen works differently they hope that will, time will tell.

Best wishes.

Jan

[horace]

Wow what a lot of posts since I last looked-this is proving to be a very popular thread,it obviously answered a need in so many of us.Its ironic really-we are always told that most bc occurs in over 50s yet on most internet sites the majority of users is under 50! I suppose its because too many older people aren't familiar with the technology yet here we are,finding each other and offering a unique level of support.
Welcome Peachez-hope you can get started soon.
Love valxx

[Peachez]

My Onc cleared up a couple of questions for me today. Putting me on anything now could make the Chemo less effective, also if the lump is due to some sort of infection when my white cells fall due to Chemo it could be dangerous. So eithter way they do really need to know what this is before they go ahead. He also said he could start the Chemo in a week once we know! He also said it's 95% unlikely to be connected to the BC, but it may be a type of Lymphoma!

We go back again on Wednesday 10th.

Thank you Dima and Andie for your replies, and to all for letting me Rant this morning. Look forward to hearing your news.

Best wishes P xxx

[CheshireCheese]

Hi smiley60
Hope you don't mind me joining in here, since at 51 I'm not sure if I qualify yet! I've been following this thread with interest, but what spurred me to post was when you said you were due to start on Tamoxifen at the age of 60. They normally prescribe Aromatase Inhibitors for post-menopausal women so I wondered why you were being offered Tamoxifen instead? I'm interested because I will be switching from Tamoxifen to an AI myself in a couple of years.
Sarah x

[ajaytee]

Hi
Looks like it's a busy week for appts. I went for a routine check with the onc last Friday and everything seems fine. It is such a relief - even though I feel well I always dread that they will find a lump or something I hadn't noticed.

Best wishes to every one who's waiting for news.

Joss

[Guest user]

Hi everyone my appt with oncologist is on Wed 10th Nov hopefully they will give me a date for my rads - due to start tamoxifen on 23rd Nov everything has been a whirl since diagnosis from routine mammogram in Sept two days before my sixtieth birthday a lovely welcome to my retirement!

[Guest user]

going for a yearly mammogram and scan in 2 hours dont know how i have got through morning all the sad memories of last year have come flooding back feel so silly will be glad when im home im driving my husband round the bend going on and on so thought i would just share it with you ladies and give husband ears a rest for now

[Guest user]

Welcome on board Peachez. Sorry you're having such a stressful time. This whole waiting game is a nightmare. My oncology appt is also today and I'm dreading it, even though I know that once you know where you stand, you adapt and get on with it - and all the fantastic women on this forum provide the evidence for that.
I sincerely hope you get some good news soon.
Di

[Guest user]

Hi Peachez

Our posts crossed. Welcome. One of the hardest things for me along with the waiting has been the frustration of results not being in the right place at the right time, causing delays in treatment. To be honest that is what I am expecting this week. My scan was done at a different hospital because my own has its bone scanner out of commission at the moment. Although they assure me the results will be back at the hospital in time my doubt is whether they will have got as far as my records.

Keep in touch

Andie

[Guest user]

Good Morning Golden Girls.

A new week, thinking of those of you waiting for results. To all the new Golden ladies on here welcome.

As I see it for us older ladies support can be thin on the ground. I am very lucky that my OH is always here for me, but as we get older our families are sometimes spread far and wide and getting on with their own lives. This is where this thread can be so important - we can come on here and vent our frustrations, moan if we need to or just chat to friendly people who are going through the same illness and have experienced most of the problems.

Although my DX was over 2 years ago now I have had major problems with a seroma that became infected and eventually required emergency surgery to resolve it. Then followed 10 months when the new wound just would not heal. This saga came to an end 2 weeks ago just as my surgeon decided that I needed a new bone scan, Results this thursday I hope .Oh for a spell when my next hospital appointment is months away.

Take Care all you precious people

Andie

[Peachez]

Can I join please? I'm 52 and had hysterectomy and ovaries removed nearly 2 years ago. Apologies in advance for the rant!

Origianlly grade 2 3cm R breast. Node scan clear. WLE and SNB 5th Oct, expected all clear and Rads to follow....

Results, 57mm tumour, grade 3, widespread vascular invasion and 4/4 nodes infected! Bone and CT scan clear...

but found a lump in my tummy.
No plan can be done til we know what that is, was told that results from that biopsy (done last week) should be in today if all straight forward, but I have just had a call from my BCN to say full results will not be in til Wednesday - (so it's not straight forward then)?

Have kept my Onc appt for lunchtime today and will go back again Wednesday too.

All this time and I probably have more nodes ticking away inside me and no meds at all !!! I'm going mad here!
At the start they said they wouldn't want to wait 3 months, and here I am ,Dx was Sept 8th and I'm feeling that nothing has really been done yet! Please God, when will there be good news????

[Guest user]

Thank you Letitia, it means a lot to know that people understand. You are going through something similar to me except that yours is triple positive and mine is Grade 3, ER, PR neg and HER2+ with no node involvement. I feel as though I am moaning and complaining when everyone else seems so brave. I can't say just how afraid I am. Normally I am a very strong and resilient person but all this moving of goalposts (every week a new piece of bad news!) is eroding all that. It really really doesn't help that my kids are so emotionally distant from me and I'm sure if they were there for me I wouldn't feel so isolated and terrified. I just cannot get my head around the chemotherapy thing and I don't think I'm going to be brave enough to go through it. I could do the Herceptin I think but I don't believe that they will give me that on its own, only as part of or after the chemotherapy. I will ask the oncologist at my appointment on Wednesday. I need to know what are the chances of a recurrence and time scales before I can make a decision I think. Thanks for all your support.

[ragamuffin]

Hi Golden Girls
Just found a fabulous thread-"undergoing treatment: chemotherapy: wind!!!" I laughed so much I had tears running down my face. The ladies posting have the most wonderful sense of humour. The meds I take for Rh arthritis make me "windy" the Tamoxifen has exacerbated that little problem so heaven help me when I hit the chemo scene. Watch out world! I live alone so nobody else will have to suffer during the night - think I'll put a warning sign up on the front door. Thanks to all your good advice I now have sleep bras, a bag for the drains, and pyjamas. Just need some slippers and I'm all ready. Wendy and Diana I will be thinking of you both tomorrow.

All the best to everyone.

Diana (the other one)

[Guest user]

Dear Susieb54, I was so sorry to read your post and the lack of support from your family. It is a difficult thing to go through alone and although I live alone, I am tremendously supported by my sons and friends and family. I have now come to terms with my diagnosis which I received on Thursday and am making plans to have my long blonde (well nearly) shortened next week with a view to having it shaved pre-chemo simply because I think for me it will be less traumatic than watching it fall out. I am also looking forward to next summer when all of this will hopefully be over and I can emerge with a new cancer free body, my new breasts and a positive attitude to life. I hope you will also be able to continue receiving the support from colleagues and friends and that this will make you feel like the precious human being that you are. We are at the same point in the journey and I shall be looking for your posts to support you. With love....L xx

[Guest user]

Dima
Welcome to the thread. Hope it helps. I know exactly how you feel about goalposts - I was told that an underarm biopsy was clear and then told 3 weeks later - after my Mstectomy that this was not the case and am waiting to go in for a full clearance.Then it will be another 2-3 weeks waiting for results and then the wait for probable start of chemo - which like everyone else I am dreading - but if it gives some good news then I am ready for it.
Best wishes to everyone
Janet

[ragamuffin]

Hi All
Just thought I'd share this with you - sent to me by my sister-in-law who lives in California. http://pinkglovedance.com/ that's the sequel. If you want to watch the original you just google "the original pink glove dance". It's not for everybody but I liked it.
Good luck for Monday Gwendolyn - will be thinking of you.
Welcome Dima I think you'll be just right for this thread.
Diana

[Guest user]

Hi all,
Please can I gate-crash this thread? I'm 52 and had left mastectomy with axillary clearance 3 weeks ago. 6 years ago I had a L breast lump which turned out to be a cyst, but the mammogram identified some other suspicious changes and I had to have several biopsies and then a wide excision. The histology report said I had radial scar tissue which allegedly is a benign condition.I had a mammogram a year later which showed no further changes, then put on 3 yearly recall.
This year I was diagnosed with DCIS on routine mammogram (and I had been mistakenly recalled at 2 years instead of 3). I had wide excision and SN biopsy, and was reassured I'd only need radiotherapy afterwards, so when I went for my post-op appt, expecting to get my radiotherapy arranged, I was absolutely floored to be told the margins were'nt clear and 2/5 ax nodes showed invasive disease. I was so unprepared for that, and felt upset that I was not warned of the possibility of further surgery. I thought then that I couldn't be the first person this has happened to, and obviously several of you are in the same boat.
However, I've moved on. My follow up after the mastectomy confirmed grade 3 invasive ductal carcinoma in several areas of the breast tissue, and no further ax nodes involved - they took another 20 away. I've been told I'll need chemo and rads and my oncology appt is on Monday to discuss the regime.
I had a hysterectomy 5 years ago, preserving my then functional ovaries. I had a blood test 6 months ago to check my FSH/LH levels (indicators of whether I'm still ovulating)and that was still normal. So as I have not experienced menopausal symptoms and come from a family of women with late menopause, I probably am not yet qualified to be in this thread - but I cant be far off and I'm a bit concerned I could be borderline, and then maybe get the wrong chemo! No doubt that is all to be discussed on Monday. I'm anxious and cant help feeling that every time I go back to clinic, the goal posts seem to have moved, and I have something more to deal with.
Sorry to blag on, but I needed to get this off my chest (Ha!How appropriate!)
Diana

[Janet_BCC]

Dear Suzieb54,

Just to reinforce what Gwendolyn said about the BCC Helpline, they will be open again tomorrow morning at 9.00am (until 2.00pm). They can offer information, support or just a "listening ear". The number is 0808 800 6000.

Take care

Very best wishes

Janet
BCC Facilitator

[Guest user]

Hi Suzieb54. I too have had a WLE for DCIS and then was told that they had found invasive ductal carcinoma in the margains. I am having my second operation and sentinel lymph node biopsy on Monday and so I can't help you with chemo and Herceptin (yet). I agree with Jan that it has to be your decision but it might help to be able to talk to someone about it. I am divorced and live alone as well and understand how difficult it can be no matter how good your friends and colleagues are. If you feel able to phone the helpline, you will find that they are really good at listening and they can arrange for you to have 1-1 telephone support from someone who has been in a similiar position to you, but is a couple of years down the line. If you talk to your Dr/Breastcare Nurse s/he might be able to help you with counselling. I did both of those things as I was devastated by the second diagnosis and was unable to even look at my breast at all! I can't say that I am in a good place, but I am in a better place and at least I've been able to look at my breast whilst I still have it. Take care Wendy

[Janice]

I've never refused chemo but then I have never been offered it and I have had 3 recurrences.

I understand how you feel, my biggest fear was the chemo not the cancer although I would'nt have refused it if I had been told I needed it. It is probably more important for you because of the type of cancer you have, mine is estrogen positive so am able to take hormone therapy.

Maybe when you have had more time to accept what you have been told it won't seem so bad thats been my experience anyway.

I had my first diagnoses in 1985 so I am kind of use to living with the uncertainty it brings.

It has to be your decision and I am sure you will make the right one.

Take care.

Jan

[Guest user]

Hi All!
I'm 56 and was diagnosed in August 2010 with a Grade 3 invasive ductal carcinoma (9mm) and high grade DCIS (4mm). I had a wide local excision with nipple preservation but at my follow up appointment was told I would need to have further surgery. I opted for a bilateral mastectomy with immediate reconstruction for some peace of mind and less psychological trauma about asymmetry. I have been accepted by a plastic surgeon for reconstruction by TRAM flap method and am awaiting my date for surgery. I had sentinel lymph node biopsy two weeks ago and my nodes were clear which was marvellous news (I thought).

I am divorced and live alone and had it not been for my friends and colleagues who have done over and above the call of duty I would have been completely on my own. I have two adult children and it seems that neither of them are bothered about what is happening to me. My son had to be told to leave home as he was being so cruel - one can only be told that he hopes you die a limited number of times before you snap! In his defence he has problems with drugs but I just couldn't expend any more energy on trying to help him when he didn't want to be helped. My daughter who is 29 and should know better has never once asked how I am. She has her perfect little world and family unit and doesn't want anything to disrupt that. I feel so isolated and frightened. Every week seems to bring a new nightmare for me. Last week I was told that I would need chemotherapy; devastated doesn't even begin to describe how I felt. I never anticipated having that and was led to believe that once I'd had surgery that would be that. I have diabetes (Type II) and hypothyroidism so I feel that my immune system is already compromised. I had decided on balance that I wouldn't take the chemo as I felt it would just cause me more problems. I feel relatively well now so why would I want to poison myself when the risks seem to outweigh the benefits? Today I have been told that my cancer was HER2 positive and that chemotherapy and Herceptin will be offered. I am absolutely terrified and feel so stupid because I am considering not having either of them. I just don't want to be on my own and feeling ill from these therapies. I have an irrational feeling that this rather than the cancer will kill me. I can't bear the thought of losing my hair either and every time I read about the side effects I am sobbing because it could make me really ill and affect my heart. I have said I want my surgery first in any case because I think I will stand a better chance of my wounds healing in my current state of health. Has anyone with the same diagnosis as me refused chemo and Herceptin?