My mum just told me last night that she has been diagnosed with Breast Cancer, I felt my whole world had collapsed with the word cancer.
SHe is going for the masectomy operation within 5 weeks and then she is starting on the anti-hormone drug all going well.
First she has to get a full bone scan to ensure it hasn’t spread.
Unfortunately her 2 other sisters have also had breast cancer one of whom died about 9 years ago, she has told me that her consultant has advised that I’m now at a high risk and have to make an appointment with my GP to get referred to her consultant for check-ups/scans. The problem I have is that I am 37 this year and had a hysterectomy this year and am on HRT tablets that can be a risk.
I have made the appointment with the GP and see what happens from that.
My mum is taking it in her stride so too speak, she doesn’t want anybody to know that she has cancer, which I can understand, but I feel I have no-one to turn too as I can’t speak to my best friend about my fears/concerns, etc as it would be betraying my mum’s trust and that is the last thing I want to do.
It is so hard as she is my rock ;o(
((((Suz)))))
I totally understand as my mum has just been diagnosed too. She is due to have a masectomy next week. I also feel very alone as my mother is a ‘coper’ and doesn’t like talking about emotions. It is very hard to see her going through this. I’m glad you found this forum as it is very supportive and gives you somewhere to talk through everything.
Hi,
I am so sorry to hear about your mom and the effects it could have on you…
You need to talk to someone about this, this is a disease that effects everyone not just the person diagnosed, and the only way you can be of any help to your mom is to get help and support yourself.
One of the best people i have to turn to is my friend whose mother had bc, she knows all the ins and outs as she has been there before!
If you feel unable to speak to anyone close to you, then the bcc have a fanastic help line, which helps you with all your queries, answers all your questions and can provide loads of literature for you to read and get to understand this dx.
I am newly dx myself and have found this forum and the bcc helpline a great support already.
Corinne
Hi suz1973
Welcome to the BCC forums, I am sorry to read of your Mum’s diagnosis and can appreciate that this has come as a big shock to you and that you are very worried. I am sure your fellow users will continue with support and information for you, in addition I have posted a couple of links to various BCC publications which you may find helpful.
The first one is for you and your Mum, it’s a new resource pack which has been designed for anyone newly diagnosed and it contains lots of useful information, the second is the ‘Breast cancer in families’ which you may find answers a few of your queries until you can speak to your GP :
breastcancercare.org.uk/healthcare-professionals/publications/quick-order-list/*/changeTemplate/PublicationDisplay/publicationId/82/
breastcancercare.org.uk/healthcare-professionals/publications/quick-order-list/*/changeTemplate/PublicationDisplay/publicationId/70/
Please also feel free to call our helpline for further support as Corinne has kindly mentioned, you and your Mum are welcome to use this service where you can talk to someone in confidence about your fears and concerns, the number to call is 0808 800 6000, weekdays 9-5 and Sat 9-2.
Take care
Lucy
Hi Suz
You have to be there for mum she is being strong for all of you and inside she will be struggling but won’t want to worry you. Take her shopping or for coffee a spa day would be good. I know my daughter is worried about me but we spend a lot of time together now and have girlie days which are brilliant and I try to alleviate her worries.
Take care and be brave
Susie
Hi Suz
I know something of your situation first -hand - but from another perspective.
My daughter was diagnosed with BC in 2003 and then with a 2nd primary in her other breast in 2006. It was so hard for me and the rest of our family to see her, aged only 32 facing this horrible disease and we had had no family history of any kind that might have prepared us in some way. I would have given anything for it to have been me rather than her going through two mastectomies, 2 lots of chemotherapy plus rads etc etc
All I wanted was to have spared her from all this but it wasn’t to be and then… ultimate irony, I was diagnosed myself with a Grade 3 BC, 2 years ago. My daughter has been a fantastic support to ME, (as has my husband, elder daughter and 2 sons & all my family) …and that is really all that anyone else can be- be supportive and if you can help with practical things, that is a bonus. ( difficult in our family as we all lived at some distance from one another).
I think your mother may well decide to confide in one or two other friends or family once she has got over the shock of her diagnosis; it is difficult to keep 100% quiet re BC (especially if one has to have chemotherapy) - and that will certainly make it easier for you to deal with your own natural fears for her- and for yourself.
Perhaps you will be able to talk to her about this in the days ahead: it is a pity that she has to wait 5 more weeks for her op as I think we all want to get on with it after we are diagnosed- but maybe this period will help you both to talk over some of your very natural anxieties.
It is really important for YOU that you are able to talk to someone- I don’t know how I would have got thro without my friends - and I have also found these forums a great help. There really are so many of us older woman with BC -any group of 50+women will have BC members in it - there are just such a lot of us.