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My OH wants me to have a nipple and a tattoo

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Guest user
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Re: My OH wants me to have a nipple and a tattoo

It is amazing what a difference a few weeks make! I am now on the list for a nipple recon and lipo tidy up! The reason? Well the waiting list for my surgeon is NINE months! So I put my name down knowing that if I change my mind I can go ahead and have it done quite quickly but if I decide not to go ahead I can make my decision then! If you see what I mean!

Thanks for all your help and support ladies

(Not sure I like the idea of the penis enhancement Lemongrove!)

Best wishes all

Liz
nonsuch
Member

Re: My OH wants me to have a nipple and a tattoo

I'm happy to share my pics @one day, one week and two weeks post nipple recon if it helps anyone decide.

samos
Member

Re: My OH wants me to have a nipple and a tattoo

Thank you so much nonsuch forsharing your experience! I take the view that after the massive surgery I had, stage two must be easier lol.
I guess we all want something different from recon. I wasn't interested at all in how I would look in a bra, i wanted to look good naked! And so far I'm liking what I see - but for me I won't have 'breasts' until I have nipples. But each to their own.

Sue x

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Re: My OH wants me to have a nipple and a tattoo

Lemongrove,just the thing I wanted to say to Liz!!!! LOL

I did not have nipple recon when I first had my reconstruction . I had enough of ops etc, although it was offered together with a lift on the good boob. My main aim at the time was able to wear normal bras and swimwear - I swim a lot - and the recon achieved that. I since lost my reconstruction due to a recurrence and had total mx, but I got used to it. Bras have come on in leaps and bouts and swimwear is great now.

Lis, leave things be for the time being, take your time and heal up from your stomach op.
Anna_BCC
Member

Re: My OH wants me to have a nipple and a tattoo

Dear LouB


So many people have said they experience a reaction once active treatment has finished. Because of this feedback Breast Cancer Care have developed a range of services and publications with the precise aim of continuing support called Moving Forward. There are 2 links below, one will take you to where the information relating to all the services linked to Moving Forward and the other is to a publications page, where you can order or download relevant information. You can also order a Moving Forward pack, based on the same prinicpal as the primary resource pack, but with a much different focus. The helpline is still there for anyone affected by breast cancer, whether in active treatment or not, if you would like a friendly ear or to discuss any concerns.


http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/breast-cancer-services/talks-courses-support-groups/talks-courses


http://www2.breastcancercare.org.uk/publications/moving-forward


take care


Poppy

Guest user
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Re: My OH wants me to have a nipple and a tattoo

Oh forgot to say. I've experienced hardly any loss of sensation in my own nipple despite it being relocated! That was a bonus I hadn't expected.
Guest user
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Re: My OH wants me to have a nipple and a tattoo

Your right. It's a very personal decision and one that niobody should be cajoled into. My main reason for undergoing more surgery was to regain symmetry as my rigth side (tissue expander side) was two cup sizes smaller than my natural breast. To be honest the reduction and uplift was far more painful than I'd anticipated. I imagined I'd be in theatre for an hour tops but it took four hours and I had my nipple created, dog ear from LD flap op and expander topped up with saline all at the same time.
I'm fine now and very pleased with the cosmetic results but I don't know if I'd have had undergone surgery purely to regain a nipple if asymmetry hadn't been such an issue for me.
Emotionally I'm feeling a bit cut adrift now that treatment has ended. Apparently that's quite a normal repsonse but one for another part of the forum, I guess!

Lou
x
x
Lemongrove
Member

Re: My OH wants me to have a nipple and a tattoo

Why not do a deal with him? Tell him you'll consider cosmetic surgery on your breast and a nipple tattoo if he agrees to get his penis surgically enhanced and his testicles tatood. Tell him it's for his own good, because then he will feel confident when you both go nude sunbathing.

nonsuch
Member

Re: My OH wants me to have a nipple and a tattoo

A pols, my post duplicated so deleted this one.

nonsuch
Member

Re: My OH wants me to have a nipple and a tattoo

Hi everyone, 

Some good experiences- nipple recon/lipo after DIEP/mx, really not painful at all!!
I've been meaning to post for ages but haven't got into the new site. However, I do feel I owe it to others to share my experiences as i go along as the forums were the most vital source for me and must be for other people going through the many hoops of the BC Olympics.

So this thread has prompted me to write now and I hope it helps some of you in making decisions, though we are all different in terms of BC, I'm a pretty standard ol bod in general health matters!

TImewise, had left diep/mx end of Nov 2011, then in March this year i was approved for stage two, ie nipple recon, lipo from recon boob, reduction of the circle which was overlarge, lipo from hips, dog ears removed and reopening of centre of tummy wound where I had an adhesion.
Had to wait until 10 august due to the numbers on the list ahead of me, went in as a day patient. The op, under GA, took about an hour, and I got rid of the drip and was up and about an hour afterwards. I had blue sticky tape over steri strips on my hips and tum, and a dressing( rather like a giant plaster) on my boob. That's all.

I went home same day, and walked into town and back the next day. The bruising started to come out ...and I started arnica pillules and cream. The only discomfort was on the first two nights when it was hard to get comfy for sleep on my back, so I took paracetamol for three days only.

So what else..? My underarm and left side of boob were swollen and red/black, one hip had bruising down low on my buttock, the other nothing. I suppose the bruised bum meant I had to sit down carefully! Gradually this has moved around and changed colour, but after a week I couldnt feel it at all whatever it looked like. The op hasn't stopped me doing anything except carrying weights but I've noticed if I've walked around a bit too much I've felt tired and a pull from my tummy wound. This Sat, so a week on, I travelled down by train to London for my birthday, light lunched in harrods then walked right across Hyde Park, rested up and went out for dinner...i didn't row a boat though!

The main inconvenience has been the swelling and need to get back into non sexy underwear!!! The boob and my back expanded to 38DD whereas I'm normally 36c, and after the DIEP I was 36D. But 10 days on, this swelling is going down and my boob bruising has totally gone. I just have a couple of black marks at the side, under my boob. Haven't felt anything at all from having the dog ears cut off. My hips and tum also swelled, I reckon an inch and a half on each side, and an inch in the middle probably. This is also going down, im trying to drink plenty of water to wash out toxins.

After a week i  had the dressings changed, the only tricky bit was the tum wound where the plaster removal gave me a free wax. Everything was good and dry, and I even risked a look at the nipple...wow! Plasters went back on, and Ive been able to have a shower from then on. This Thursday, so two weeks down the road, I'll have all the dressings taken off. 

To continue with recovery  I've stocked up on some fab M and S White cotton firm support pants and topped up my range of sports bras with a couple of giants from sainsburys@£5 each! It's a nuisance finding summer things to wear that dont show the heavy duty bras, but a small prove to pay longterm. The ward sister said only had to wear surgical stockings till I was up and about normally, so they came off the next day! 

Really, I AM the worlds biggest coward when it comes to surgery and pain but I've been so pleasantly surprised, I dont know why I worried. If you're not having as many bits done as I had,
they can do the nipple and a bit of lipo under local anaesthetic...I wouldnt have looked mind you!!! I never liked the nipple less boob look, especially as it was overstuffed and too big for me, but the fear of surgery was a lot to weigh up. I'm so glad I put it on one side! I took some initial post surgery pics and I'm looking forward to some nicer shots when it's healed...will keep you posted once the dressings are all off!

Best wishes to all going through the process,

Nonsuch xxxx

samos
Member

Re: My OH wants me to have a nipple and a tattoo

Ultimately it has to be what YOU want Liz.

I had my Bilateral Mx with immediate DIEP on the 28th June, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that I want nipples and tattoos as for ME they don't look like breasts without them. But that's how I feel, and we are all different aren't we.
I had hoped to have them done before the New Year, but at my 6 week check up I was advised that it would be at my next 3 month follow up appointmentheat they would book me in. The rational being to have everything set,e into their final position so the nipples can be positioned correctly.

At one of my dressing clinic appointments I was shown some fantastic prosthic nipples, so I may treat myself to a pair whilst I await the real deal.

Don't you be pressurised, there is no hurry is there.

Sue xx

Guest user
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Re: My OH wants me to have a nipple and a tattoo

Hi all
Thanks for all your comments and suggestions!

@RevCat My OH and I watched the BBC link which was just about the tattooing and was impressed with how realistic it looked but it also looked incredibly painful even if only for a short time! I am still going to leave it at least for a bit!

@Amys Mum I love the idea of Amy taking your silicon nipple to a show and share at school! LOL

I am sticking with my pointless boob for the foreseeable

Liz x
pinkrose
Member

Re: My OH wants me to have a nipple and a tattoo

Hi there. Just to add another thought to the mix. I am having a nipple recon next week (should I look at your bbc programme link revcat?!) and for me, although I am not really bothered about having it done and am quite happy with my recon breast as is ... when I was first diagnosed nearly 2 years ago this was the last bit of the treatment/operations that was offered to me and for me, psychologically, it signifies the 'end' (I had MX, recon, chemo, radio, replacement recon, reduction on the other side) it is more of a celebration that I'm done with operations/treatment (apart from the tamoxifen and all the lovely side effects that brings) and I can hopefully really start to move forward ...
Trying not to sound patronising - it really is your decision and after all what we go through to get to this stage, don't rush your decision, you can have it done anytime. I'll let you know how I get on next week!
All the very best
Rachel.

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Re: My OH wants me to have a nipple and a tattoo

Just to add to the mix, my daughter asked me this morning if my nipple would ever come back (she is only 6). I told her that I probably wouldn't get a new one and told her about the options of a tattoo and how the dr would make me a new one if I really wanted. She was amused by the thought of a stick-on one, so maybe I should look into that just to keep her happy. Mind you, if I get one, half the school will be told about it . As long as she doesn't want to take it in for show and share.
Zeppa
Member

Re: My OH wants me to have a nipple and a tattoo

Goodness, I bet you'd all envy me. I didn't have a mastectomy, although that was only because my breasts are so large - they took 600g off (and I wish I could have the other reduced, but it isn't working out). But on the good side, I have two supernumerary nipples, in a direct line below the breast. People used to make fun of them at junior school. Now I know what they're for.

RevCat
Member

Re: My OH wants me to have a nipple and a tattoo

@ Roadrunner - so good to have your perspective as someone for whom this was absolutely the right way to go.

@ Katyb - from the 'My new breast' link there is a selection of other videos on chemo, rads and breast recon, but only selected procedures. If you feel brave enough, and google the specific recon you are interested in, and then go to the videos (Youtube or Vimeo) there are some both animations and real surgery stuff. I'm reluctant to post links as I don't know the pedigree of any of them, the BBC were recommended to me by the hospital I was treated at because the featured German PS is the one I had/have (and she is VERY keen to get the symmetry perfect and the cosmetic finishing touches done... when I've seen my BCN for checkups she reminds me that it is MY choice and no-one elses)

@ Lizdeb and DJ... much hilarity here at the pointless boobs comment.
RoadRunner
Member

Re: My OH wants me to have a nipple and a tattoo

For those who don't want a nipple recon - that's fine, do want you feel is right for you, I fully understand the desire not to mess around with unnecessary surgery - but for anyone who is wondering and perhaps being put off reading this thread I would like to add that I have had a nipple recon and tattoo (never any question in my mind, I always wanted it) and I am delighted with it. It really alters the appearance of the recon and makes it look more natural. My daughters were really impressed with the result too.
So as usual the answer is do whatever feels right for. I think following your instinct is probably the best thing to do.

scottishlass
Member

Re: My OH wants me to have a nipple and a tattoo

Wise decision Liz. I have only one nipple and have managed fine without one since my op. I did think about it at the time but I know my new boob will never match my old one so what is the point?
Have you asked him WHY he wants to have one done? Suggest to him that he have a tattoo on his ***** with your name on it and watch his reaction! I bet he will reconsider what he has suggested. Val

katieb
Member

Re: My OH wants me to have a nipple and a tattoo

Hi Lizdeb - sorry to butt in on your thread but I've just looked at the link Revcat posted - its really good. Are there anymore you know of Revcat? I have an appointment in January 2013 to discuss further reconstruction work but really want to know wants involved, the risks and the expected outcome before I decide to go ahead. My surgeon thinks I need fat transfer (I had immediate silicone implant), uplift on other breast and nipple. I feel I'm coping well with implant breast well as it is now but I do have every confidence in my surgeon so will listen to what she says and then decide.
I loved the pointless boobies too!

Guest user
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Re: My OH wants me to have a nipple and a tattoo

Thanks Burnie - that is what I am afraid of too! The PS says that they will try and match the other boob but then they go on to say that they can always fix that one to match if there is not a good match - well sorry but there is no way (and my OH agrees!) that they are touching my other boob!

So no more surgery for me until at least a year has passed!
Guest user
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Re: My OH wants me to have a nipple and a tattoo

Pointless boobies ROFL - love it
Burnie
Member

Re: My OH wants me to have a nipple and a tattoo

Hi Liz, I had a nipple made and tattoo with some persuasion from my hubbie, I'll be honest - its looks great and really finishes everything off. The only thing that no one has mentioned is how will it make your good side look. I had a LD flap so the nipple could only be in the oval of skin & fat from my back which made my good and droopy side look even worse. I became so self concious about my droopy side that I went ahead with a reduction & uplift to the good side, now 3 months on the nipples are still a couple of cm out and to top the lot I've lost nipple sensation and feel remorse for my good breast. I knew that this could happen but hoped for the best and it looks like I have been very silly & lost out on something that I had pleasure from. Think about how you FEEL not how you LOOK, I think sometimes enough is enough. Take care Burnie xXx

DJ007
Member

Re: My OH wants me to have a nipple and a tattoo

Ha - now I'm thinking of pointless boobs. I'm obviously having a silly evening!

Guest user
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Re: My OH wants me to have a nipple and a tattoo

Well that is just it DJ - I have never been topless bathing (sun or water!) but he says that is what he wants me to be able to do!!!! Oh well as you say Amy's Mum there is plenty of time - mind you the Registrar was talking about doing it in October this year!!! I don't think so!

I am normally very easily led and persuaded but I don't think that will be the case this time - certainly not soon! Unless I see a point to it I am not going to let it happen! Enough already!
DJ007
Member

Re: My OH wants me to have a nipple and a tattoo

Sorry Lizdeb - got to ask this... Exactly how many people do you normally show your breasts to on a daily basis!

I am only teasing... I'm now 50, so I think my topless sunbathing days are behind me!

Take care.
Dx

Guest user
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Re: My OH wants me to have a nipple and a tattoo

Hi
I know around here, they don't do nipple recon for at least a year after mx, so you have lots of time to think, and as RevCat says, you can get the recon at any point.
My dh did suggest I got a new nipple, but his reasoning (like your oh's) was so that I don't get looked at in swimming pool changing rooms. I had to point out that I use a communal changing room maybe 2-3 times a year and they are often pretty empty, so I am not too bothered either. As my scar has faded (I had my mx last October with immediate Stratice Mesh recon) my areloa is showing again, so the need for a nipple is even less.
TBH unless my scar fades almost completely, the scar is probably more obvious than the lack of a nipple.
Guest user
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Re: My OH wants me to have a nipple and a tattoo

Thanks for your support ladies 🙂

I was thinking of leaving it for a year or so anyay - you never know I suppose I might change my mind!

I quite like the smoothness of it I must admit.


In the interests of fairness my OH only wants it done if
1. The pain is non-existant or trivial and shortlived
2. The healing process is quick
3. It does not involve my other breast.

He says it is for my benefit as he doesn't want me to me to be stared at for the wrong reason.
Guest user
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Re: My OH wants me to have a nipple and a tattoo

Moral support from me. It's your breast and your decision. You are the one who has gone through it all. If you don't feel ready for more surgery, my advice is don't do it because you will not recover well if your heart isn't in it and you are only doing it for someone else.

I am going through a lengthy recon at the moment and just had a nipple created on the recon breast. It has been extremely painful where part of the nipple has been removed on my good breast - more painful than I had expected and have been told that actually the discomfort may never really go away - ever.

Suggest if he persists you attach a live electrical wire to your OH's nipple and ask hin to wear it for 24 hours, because that's what it feels like.
RevCat
Member

Re: My OH wants me to have a nipple and a tattoo

Hi Liz,

So sorry to read that having a tough time at the moment. You have had very major surgery and it will take a long time for you to recover physically and emotionally.

As far as nipple reconstruction is concerned, it is a very personal thing and there is absolutely no rush to make a decision either way. Eighteen months on from my reconstruction I am completely used to my 'smooth' side and not bothered about nipple reconstruction. My hospital offer 'stick on' prosthetic nipples if people prefer that to tattooing etc. My understanding is that the tattooing lasts about two years and then has to be re-done, and reconstructed nipples often go flat again. Some people love their 'finishing touches' and others hate them. What matters is what you want, no-one else.

Just a thought, there is a video clip of someone having nipple reconstruction and tattooing here http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p004r208 which you might find useful. Your OH might find it helpful too. You might also want to chat to the helpline people at BCC as they are knowledgeable and helpful.

If you are content as you are, then there is absolutely no reason to undergo any other procedures.
DJ007
Member

Re: My OH wants me to have a nipple and a tattoo

Hi Liz

I had an mx and immediate LD flap recon about 18 months ago. I haven't decided yet if I want to bother with a nipple - I'm tending towards not bothering - I'm happy with the way I look.

And that's the whole point - are you happy? I'm a bit horrified that your OH is pressuring you. You have been through so much already. Maybe he needs reminding that, however good it looks, your recon is not a real boob. It's never going to feel exactly like one or have the same sensation as a real one.

I certainly don't see why you should be obliged to go through another procedure just for his benefit!

You can choose to have a nipple recon at any point. Why not suggest that he drops the subject for a year - and then see how you both feel.

Good luck.

Dx

Guest user
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My OH wants me to have a nipple and a tattoo

Hi all

I had a mx with immediate DIEP reconstruction on 29th May this year and my OH is working hard on me to get me to agree to having a nipple. I fail to see the point of further pain and healing - especially as the wound on my tummy is still (after 11 weeks!) healing very slowly and is still being treated with medihoney and dressings.

Is anyone else having this problem? Can someone please give me some moral support? I really do not want further pain/discomfort simply for cosmetic reasons!

Thanks for reading this.

Liz