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My dear friend found a lump....

2 REPLIES 2
Member

Re: My dear friend found a lump....

Thank you so much for your reply Optimissy64, I won’t crunble as in crying and getting emotional but in the sense of not being able to support her as much as I want to, all I want is to be her rock and support, comfort and reassure her to the enth degree. 

She’s such an amazing lady and has had an awful lot on her plate over the years, she’s just about recovered from a previous cancer diagnosis 3 years ago and I. Not sure how she’ll deal with another one should it be forth coming. 

Thanks again 😘

Community Champion

Re: My dear friend found a lump....

You are a caring friend and she is lucky to have your support. However, they may not tell her if they have suspicions about her lump until after the results, or at least it wasn't suggested to me at the time of the tests, and I got my diagnosis a week later, so prepare her for a wait else she'll be disappointed if she is all geared up to be told on the day and then has to wait. If she is told on the day then that's a bonus.

 

It is important that your own anxieties do not transfer to your friend - the reality is that she won't know for sure if she has cancer or something benign until the results are through, probably a week or so after the tests are done, so I'd be inclined to be matter of fact until she knows anything for sure. Basically tell her that many, many non-cancer conditions are detected at the breast clinic, and if on the offchance  it is cancer then it isn't the end of the world, there are excellent treatments available. Look at your own experience - breast cancer 9 years ago and still going strong! Smiley Happy 

I'll be really honest here, since you have asked for advice on how to be helpful, and say that if you do fall apart it will not help her at all, and if you think there is a strong chance that might happen, then maybe there is another friend who could support her to the appointment and you would be able to offer support at a later date if a cancer diagnosis is confirmed where your own experience of going through treatment would be invaluable. Personally I would rather go to an appointment alone than go with someone that might be emotional and then need my support, as I would not want to have to handle someone else's emotions at a time when I would be dealing with my own. But it's your call at the end of the day to do what you think is best for her. Hope it goes well for her whatever the outcome. xx

Member

My dear friend found a lump....

Hi, I wonder if you ladies can advise me please, my dearest friend found a lump in her breast just over a week ago, I insisted that she went to the Drs (last Monday) and went along with her to hold her hand and to make sure she went.

She initially asked me to check that it was definitely there and not a figment of her imagination as she didn’t want to waste the Drs time, there wasn’t a lump as such but a a thickening within the Breast tissue which was rather large, approximately the size of a cocktail sausage. During the examination with the Dr she was told that they would refer her to the Breast clinic just to be sure and she was told it could be a cyst, I thought this was rather strange as a cyst is generally round or slightly oval in shape.

I also had breast cancer 9 years ago and again mine wasn’t a lump but a thickening of the tissue, my friends is definitely bigger than mine was and I’m so worried, her appointment came through and it’s next Friday, I’m going along with her as she hasn’t mentioned any of this to her husband as he has his own very serious health issues and is a worrier so she doesn’t want him to fret and possibly become ill and end up in hospital or even worse. Now from my own experience I know they will tell her if they think it is breast cancer, I should know what to say and be able to support her but I’m really concerned that I may crumble as she means so much to me. 

Please can any of you give me any words of wisdom on how best to support her and what I should or shouldn’t say... part of me wants to prepare her for the worst but the last thing I want to do is to increase her concerns so think it best not say anything. 

Thanking you all in advance.