This has been posted on behalf of a new user. June - moderator
Hi, Last Thursday was the worst day of my life when my mum was diagnosed with Lobular Breast Cancer, I had no idea as luckily I have never had to look up cancer and assumed that you always had a lump, how wrong was I, all she has is a slight wrinkling of the skin which she thought was because she had lost a lot of weight. I have started my research but am scared of looking up to much, just seems so so frightening. She is having her MRI scan this Friday and her CT scan next Thursday so things are moving along very quickly. She is booked in for a full mastectomy and the removal of her lymph glands in her armpit on November 11th. She will only be in hospital for 48hours after the removal and I know everyone recovers differently but am concerned as to how much looking after she will need after surgery, will she be able to use her arm, shower etc ?? Work is being very good about the time off that I need to look after her so at least that is one less worry, I can devote as much time as I can to her. She is being very positive at the moment and is a very strong lady but am also concerned that she hasn’t cried or gotten angry yet. She is coping much better than I am or my dad is. We are trying to be strong for her but coming to terms with this is so so hard.
I have read a few stories on here and everyone seems so friendly, it is just nice to be able to vent my feelings, I have amazing friends but they have not or are not going through this so they just do not understand.
Fran xx
I often think it is harder for the family I know my mum still worries about me 12 months on,I have slowly come to terms with dx but I know my mum gets upset about it she finds it hard to accept.
I have 3 kids each one reacted differently one wanted to know everything, another would not talk to me and withdrew and the youngest got very angry.
Today we just take it one step at a time having someone to talk to for me was important,this may be someone who is detached from the emotional side or someone who is close to you I find my work colleagues have been great and none of them have had experience of this.I haven’t cried since dx 12 months ago, I have good days and bad your mum will too.
As a daughter who recently lost her mother to breast cancer I know only too well how you are feeling! At the beginning it’s such a lot to take in and you keep asking why me! You spend your time going between appointments and waiting anxiously on results all I can say is that it does get easier and in a way you learn to live with cancer. Mum fought the disease for 3 years with more courage and dignity than I ever could and all I ever did was be there for her. My work were also very understanding and I found this really helped me cope as it was one less thing to think about. So keep positive I’m quite sure that’s how we got through things and these forums are fab for some peer support. Hope to hear from you soon xx
I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I understand how you are feeling. My mother had bc but she was 76, and they decided not to operate, but to manage it.
It might be helpful to read posts on the Undergoing Treatment: Surgery forum, or even start a new thread asking about how people cope after a mastectomy. I was diagnosed with lobular bc in August and I have recently had a lumpectomy and I was able to cope from the start, although obviously there is some pain - most of which is to do with lymph node removal, for some strange reason (although they only removed one of mine for testing).
Before surgery, I asked the breast care nurse if I would be able to use my arm and she said I would and that they encourage it. I believe it is the same with a mastectomy. They put waterproof dressings on and I could have a shower, but not a bath. Your mother will need painkillers for a while. I was told not to drive for two weeks, and obviously heavy lifting, hoovering, ironing, etc, should be avoided. I don’t know how old your mother is, but I don’t imagine she will want to be treated as an invalid.
This week, I went back for my results, two weeks after the op, and I met a lady there who had a mastectomy the same day as I had my surgery and she was absolutely fine.
Everyone on here understands and if you or your mother have any questions or need a chat, this is the place to come for support - or ring the helpline.
Thank you all for your comments and support, it really helps. Does anyone know much about Herceptin ?? Any info that anyone has would be a great help. Thanks
Hi,
Ive been having Herceptin since January. It is given every 3 weeks through a drip, certainly doesn’t hurt and the side effects have been vertually nil. I have 2 small children and work 1 1/2 days a week and its been fine. I had Lobula cancer, had mastectomy, chemo and radiotherapy. It made me very tired but not so much ill. Take one day at a time and try to do lots of nice things to keep busy.
Hi JimJam - Thank you for giving me some information, it is nice to hear from someone rather than reading up about it on the internet. Hope you don’t mind me asking but did you just have one breast removed ?? Did it take you long to recover from the surgery. Mum is having her left breast removed on Nov 11th, she only has to be in hospital for 2 days which she is pleased about but am just wondering how long it will be before she is up and about. I know that people recover differently but just wondered how it effected you ?? She is having her MRI on Thursday this week so hopefully by the middle of next week we will know to what extent her cancer is at. It has happened all so very quickly, I still cannot get my head around it. Thank you
Another thing, if anyone can help me… Being totally selfish here but it has crossed my mind. As my mum has been diagnosed with Breast Cancer will they offer me a mammogram early then the age of I think it is 50, does anyone know ?? Thank you
Hi Fran
I know exactly how you feel. I remember the day my mum was diagnosed. I was with her and also thought she just had an infection or something as her cancer never presented as a lump. I remember feeling as though the world was closing in on me. Again, my Mum was very strong and I seemed to be the weak one. I would encourage you to spend as much time as possible with her and help her every step. My Dad and brother were great but there is nothing like a mother and daughter. As you mentioned checking out the info on the type of cancer she has, I found this really great as it is realistic about the prognosis and treatments, but its important not to become to hung up on this as every case is so different. It sounds positive that your Mum is having an Op etc, as when my Mum was diagnosed it had already moved on too advanced to operate. She still remained positive and dignified. I have recently become and Mum myself and I now understand what it is to be a Mum and how much you want to protect your children, if the same happens to me I will be strong for my daughter. This is probably what your Mum is doing, and needs you to be strong for her. But make sure that if you need to talk to her about how you feel keep open and have chats…
When my mum was having treatment (Chemo) I would drive up to her every day and in the mornings get in bed with her and have tea and toast and talk about everything, it was like our therapy. Just do what you need to do. I think although we should always be positive, prepare for the worse and hope for the best - Then if the worse does happen you will never have any regrets or wish you had done or said things that you didn’t.
I lost my Mum 7 weeks ago tomorro, when my baby was just 5 weeks old. I will be thinking of you and hope that you and your family remain strong. You will have good and bad days, but I can honestly say you will become closer than ever before. Keep the humour going too!
Let me know how you everything goes on 11th. I will say a prayer for your Mum.
All the best,
Francesca
Hi Francesca, Thank you so much for taking the time to speak with me. I am so sorry to hear about your mum, you must be devastaed but at least she got to see your baby before she went to heaven. I have just had some great news, Mum’s CT scan and bone scan has come back all clear, we just have her MRI scan results to come through, should be end of this week so fingers crossed it is only in her left breast which they can remove. As for her recovery I have already started buying some of her favourite films so that we can lay in bed together and watch them whilst she is recovering, they only problem is they are funny films which may hurt her when she laughs, he he. I cannot tell you the relief I feel that they have come back clear, phew. I am going for her pre op appointment tomorrow and we are going to ask then if I can be tested so we will see what they say. Thank you again for taking the time to speak with me, I will be thinking of you at this sad time. Fran x
Hi Fran
I am so pleased you and your Mum have had some good news today.
I have been thinking of you and said some prayers for you at Chur h yesterday.
You are doing the right thing by getting dvd’s etc. Just keep the humour rolling in! I feel very jealous of the time you are having with your mum as this time is so precious! You will become so much closer.
Do keep me updated on your mums progress, I will be thinking of you.
All the best x
On your question about breast cancer. My mother had breast cancer, her grandmother had it and my paternal grandmother had it. It was not considered a risk to me because there was no ovarian cancer anywhere and there were gaps, My maternal grandmother never had it and neither has my dad’s sister. However, now i have it, it becomes a possible genetic threat to my sisters who are both being offered mammograms before the age of fifty.
June, i have had lobular bc too, i say had because i hope it is all gone. I had a full mastectomy and lymph node removal, chemo, rads and now i am on tamoxofen. I recovered very quickly from surgery although everyone is different. I did the exercises they gave me and although i have since developed lymphoedema, i have almost full mobility in that arm.