73.3K members
1.2M posts
cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

My mums just been diagnosed

9 REPLIES 9
Downbutnotout
Member

Re: My mums just been diagnosed

Delighted to hear your mum's news, 2littleboys. Thanks for letting us know.

 

I'm often surprised when people say they were told it was definitely cancer, before the results of biopsies etc. It was pretty obvious from my symptoms and tests I had done that they were sure mine was malignant but they didn't say anything of the sort until they had the biopsy results.

 

Anyway, she can now enjoy her holiday. I shall wish her best of luck with her op and you can now take a deep breath ..... and relax.

 

X

 

 

Jo1
Member

Re: My mums just been diagnosed

I'm so glad to hear this good news - such a weight off you all!

lucy12
Member

Re: My mums just been diagnosed

That is FANTASTIC news!!!

 

Whoop whoop!! Massive celebrations all round!

 

Lu xx

2littleboys
Member

Re: My mums just been diagnosed

Hi everyone, firstly I just wanted to thank everyone who took the time to reply and offer advice.

My mum had her appointment at the screening clinic at 12pm today we were so nervous however the news was unbelievable!!

The doctors got it wrong?? She doesn't have cancer she has a condition called microglandular adenosis? Apparently it is very rare and the doctor was so vague as this is the first time she has come across it. It presents like a cancerous tumour but it is non malignant.

My mum still needs surgery to remove it as if it was left it would become cancerous through time. This is the best news we could have ever wished for however at first I was slightly disappointed in the NHS as the doctor advised it was def cancer last week without the correct information but the outcome in the end is a miraculous one.

So thank you again for all the helpful advice and wishing everyone the best of luck on their journeys xx
lucy12
Member

Re: My mums just been diagnosed

Hi 2littleboys

 

Some excellent advice already. I agree with Flori, I put a brave face on with everyone and totally underplayed how scared I was and they all followed my lead and acted like nothing was happening which in turn made me feel like nobody really cared! (Contrary creature that I am!). Be honest with your mum about your feelings but try to judge how she wants to play this as she may need to cry and confide her fears but may need to work through it alone.

 

The waiting for results is the worst time, once you all know exactly what she is dealing with and have a plan in place, it will give you all something to focus on.

 

I was diagnosed two weeks before a three week holiday of a lifetime. I made it very clear to them that my health came first and would cancel the holiday without hesitation if they thought it was best but they were more than happy to delay surgery for a couple of extra weeks and said it would make no difference. It was the best decision I could make and the holiday totally took my mind off what I was facing.

 

Obviously, everyone is different and this may not be the case with your mum. But rest assure that if the surgeon says it is OK to go, then it will be fine - they wouldn't let her delay anything if they didn't think she should.

 

I do hope your mums appointments today and Friday go well, do keep us posted.

 

Lu xx

keeks
Member

Re: My mums just been diagnosed

Hi 2littleboys, welcome

 

it's great that you have come on here, sometimes it can be so difficult for the people who love us.

 

I was just like your mum. Called back after my mammogram,  didn't give it a second thought as it was my first and assumed that was the reason, bad image,  nothing to compare it to.

 

they also told me on the day that it was cancer. However,  until your mother gets her results next week you don't really know what you are dealing with, and that is just the worst time imaginable.  Don't spend loads of time on Google,  you will just freak yourself out.  The leaflets mentioned on here are very useful but until you know dont look any further. You could write down any questions you have for next week.

 

I had a three week wait between diagnosis and surgery. My cancer was very small and not aggressive so a longer delay would not have made any difference. If your mum wants to go on holiday then I would recommend she goes. It's so difficult when you are feeling fine but know that you have to go through treatment. Waiting is the worst thing but a bit of sunshine, good food and something to take her mind off everything might help.

 

the treatments now are never as bad as you think they are going to be and there is loads of support both for you and your mother. But the fear of the unknown is terrible. I was diagnosed five months ago and finished my rads four weeks ago.  but it all depends on her results as to what treatment she can expect.

 

I hope you keep posting.

 

take care

 

Keeks

Jo1
Member

Re: My mums just been diagnosed

Hello 2littleboys,

 

what a really kind thing you're doing, coming here to help support your mum! It must be lovely for you both to be so close, and to have you checking for help is a real extra. I agree with Flori that she's probably putting a brave face on, and she'll have some deep, dark moments or more like most of us. Most of us are lucky enough to have family members to support us but it's not the same as coming on here and being able to howl and have others who really know to come to soothe us, tell us we can cope really and give tips about ops, treatments etc.

 

Your mum might really love to be able to fall apart with you, but she might be quietly content for you not to know about that side of it, it might be that she's trying to be strong because you're there to help but also have those 2 little boys(or maybe they're a bit bigger now) and doesn't want to overburden you. Maybe you'll be able to sus out what she really wants. My husband is super supportive and we've been through a lot together, but I needed him to be strong for me and didn't want to fall apart to him. We're all different of course.

 

 

Definitely don't google, it's not going to be a help to read old or plain frightening info, stick to the excellent BCC site, which gives real info, and this forum which is so supportive and lead your mum to it too. The BCC publications are also excellent and they are given out at hospital - at least they are at mine; I was given the hardback file before I realised it was what I had been sent by BCC, although you'll need to ask for the various leaflets etc that are needed, and BCC exercise sheet was given to me by my breast care nurse after my op. I'd suggest also just sticking to the 'I've been recently diagnosed' section, any of the others will be there if and when they are needed, no need to get too involved with those until your mum's position is clearer and she's got more info from the medics.

 

If it's at all possible and she wants to, the holiday sounds great, a real change - but if she feels it will be spoiled by the thoughts in her head, she should be able to cancel if she has travel insurance and keep it as something to look forward to later. There are no right and wrong ways to handle this awful thing and our feelings. Your mum will find that once things gear up there will be loads of appointments for various things and time can really go quickly. It was important to me to be in control of something, so the washing, my diet and the garden were my prime activities, and coming on this forum was very important, plus making sure my time with my little granddaughter was normal, I couldn't be down when she was with us.

 

Don't forget the helpline - I phoned and found they are so supportive and knowledgeable and knew they would be happy to speak to me whenever I needed it.

 

Take care of yourself and your sons - your mum will need you. Pop in here to chat to others who'll no doubt be along with thoughts and ideas.

 

Love to you and to your mum, Jo x

 

 

 

 

Lucy_BCC
Member

Re: My mums just been diagnosed

Hi 2littleboys and welcome to the BCC forums

Along with the support here as Flori has suggested please do call our helpliners for further practical and emotional support, you and your Mum are welcome to call and talk any concerns over, lines are open weekdays 9-5 and Saturdays 10-2 on 0808 800 6000

Here's a link to the 'Partners, family and friends' forum threads and support which you may wish to use too:

https://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/family-friends-partners%20?%3B%3B=

You and your Mum may find the 'Just diagnosed' information via the following link helpful:

https://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/diagnosis

Take care
Lucy BCC

Downbutnotout
Member

Re: My mums just been diagnosed

Hi 2littleboys

 

It's definitely ok for you to post to help your mum. How lovely that you've had the forethought to come and seek advice and support for her. I can see you're going to really help her through it.

 

Firstly, don't Google, it's full of old or incorrect information. Treatments have come on in leaps and bounds over the years. Keep thinking positively. I was told it's very treatable, even though mine has been very agressive and I only found it because of symptoms.

 

Bear in mind, your mum is most likely putting on a brave face for you. I do it with my family to the point where they often think I have no problems at all - which can backfire sometimes. Perhaps you should be open with how you feel to avoid any misunderstandings, but that's just a thought based on my experience.

 

All the waiting is torture but once she gets started with treatment you'll all begin to feel much better about it. Before you know it it will only be a horrid memory and even then the memory fades quickly.

 

Re her holiday. I was told a delay of a few weeks won't make any difference as it doesn't progress that quickly. I'm sure her surgeon will offer advice about it but it may be that they agree with her going and anyway it could take a few weeks to get as far as the appointment for surgery. I had an MRI scan before surgery so it was 3 weeks from diagnosis to my first op. I have been told it can be a 5 or 6 weeks wait for surgery. Therefore, if she still wants to go on holiday perhaps it will do her good to get away rather than be at home with nothing to focus on but the cancer.

 

I'm sure other ladies will be along soon with other information. I always end up thinking, why didn't I think to mention that, once I've posted.

 

Anyway, keep chatting. I would suggest you just take one thing at a time because until she's had her appointment with her surgeon and had an oncology appointment you probably won't know what other treatments - it depends on lots of factors as to what treatments would be offered. Have a look through the publications page to check out the info on being newly diagnosed. But the Forum will have lots of advice and support for you and your mum. If you're really worried do give the BCC helpline a call, they're fantastic at making you feel better about things. They have lots of information, advice and understanding.

 

Take care.

X

2littleboys
Member

My mums just been diagnosed

Hi folks hope it's ok to post even though I'm not the patient.

As the title says my mum found out on Wednesday she has breast cancer, I am really struggling with it at the moment and cant really talk to anyone as I feel I have to put a brave face on for the sake of my mum.

She is 52 and was requested for a routine mamogramm 4 weeks ago, she received a recall letter last week and we sort of brushed it off that it was just a blurry image etc etc however on Wednesday they did a further mammogram of just 1 area of her left breast, an ultrasound and biopsies then they told her that she did have breast cancer and she would require surgery but they were not sure what yet?

I am totally devastated, I am very very close to my mum we see and speak to each other every day. I am trying to think positive that they have got the cancer early as she wasnt showing any symptoms and she is very well in herself.

She has to go back to the screening unit on Wednesday and then see the surgeons on Friday to discuss the next steps, its all the uncertainty at the moment and all the ifs and buts are continually going through my head. Mum also has a holiday booked to go to Spain in 2 weeks and for some reason she seems to think she can put surgery off and go her hols whereas I think I would rather get the operation over with asap.

I just hoped some of you lovely folks who had been through the same thing could advise and offer some advice on treatment, timescales and emotional issues as well, thanks in advance xx