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NEW AND ANXIOUS MEMBER

32 REPLIES 32
Guest user
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Re: NEW AND ANXIOUS MEMBER

hi hun i am having a matectomy nxt thursday this is my 2nd cancer only just finished treatment in januray and now having to go thro it again if any one wants to chat let me no if i can help anyone xx
Guest user
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Re: NEW AND ANXIOUS MEMBER

hiya all, i'm doing fine thankyou, found out yesterday my operation will be 29th may, im having the implant, my doctor told me it would not be the same size as my left breast but close but everyone ive spoken to says it will be considerably smaller, hoping with a chicken fillet! it will look ok, if not i guess its a small price to pay for being cancer free, how are you all doing?
cyber hugs to all xx
Guest user
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Re: NEW AND ANXIOUS MEMBER

hiya all, i'm doing fine thankyou, found out yesterday my operation will be 29th may, im having the implant, my doctor told me it would not be the same size as my left breast but close but everyone ive spoken to says it will be considerably smaller, hoping with a chicken fillet! it will look ok, if not i guess its a small price to pay for being cancer free, how are you all doing?
cyber hugs to all xx
catseye
Member

Re: NEW AND ANXIOUS MEMBER

Hi Shelly,
Just wondering how you are doing - Have you got a date for your surgery yet?
Hope you're coping OK and still managing to feel strong.
Take care of yourself XX
MarthasSOS
Member

Re: NEW AND ANXIOUS MEMBER

Hi Shelley

So sorry to hear about your news sweetie - Keep yourself busy with some retail therapy, buying all the things you will need for your stay in hospital. I did that and it helped me a lot.

Keep coming here, even if it is just to blow off a little steam and also call the BCC helpline (they've been great with me).

Take care,
Martha xx
catseye
Member

Re: NEW AND ANXIOUS MEMBER

Hi Shelly,
Really sorry to hear this.
I had a wide local excision and sentinel node biopsy, so I'm afraid I can't give you any advice on the mastectomy but there is a thread somewhere on this which you may find helpful.
I did have a reconstruction though, because of the size of the chunk they had to remove from my breast and Angiepops is right, it does take a while to heal, so give yourself plenty of time and do not rush back to work before you are ready. Also, good advice to make sure you take button up pjamas, and tops for when you leave hospital...it was a good couple of weeks before I could raise my arm enough to get any tops on over my head.
You will get lots of information from your hospital about post op exercises, and it is important to do these, to get your mobility back, even if they hurt!! I felt overwhelmed by all the information I was given, about the op, chemo, radiotherapy, tamoxifen etc etc, all in one go when my brain was in a mess. I put all the booklets on the shelf and didn't read any of them for quite a while. I hadn't found this site either, and in a way, ignorance, (denial probably), was bliss. Little by little I took the information in. Take things one step at a time and accept all the help and support you are offered, after your op.
In the meantime, concentrate on you, and make sure everybody else does too. Spend the four weeks building yourself up mentally and physically. I was pretty healthy before my op, I do alot of exercise and eat quite well, and I really think this helped in my post op recovery, (though unfortunately it didn't stop me getting Cancer in the first place).
I don't know about the Facebook group..but think I have read there is a Younger Womens group. Hopefully someone can help you find this.
Take care XX

Guest user
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Re: NEW AND ANXIOUS MEMBER

ohh shell a hug for you chick..it's strange how our bodies try to tell us something not quite right..and yours was with the other breast!! Keep focused chick and get some plans Into place and take control of what you can Hun..thinking of you Emma xx
angiepops
Member

Re: NEW AND ANXIOUS MEMBER

hi shellyjm
so now you know whats going to happen, you can use the next 4 weeks to prepare, its something to do, go shopping for new slippers and stuff, anything that takes your mind off it. you'll need button up nighties, dont do what i did, got my pj top stuck over my head and wrapped round my arm but couldnt reach the buzzer for the nurse!
i had mx and full anc on 5th march, recon delayed until next year, it was fine, i was really surprised how well i was afterwards, when i got home 3 days later it was good to be back in my own bed and as long as i was careful about what i was lifting up i was ok.
things will get better, i know immediate recon is maybe a lttle bit longer recovery but i was back at work 4 weeks later.
there is a light at the end of this miserable tunnel, and you're heading towards it, so anything you need to ask, fire away.
i wish i had taken more food in the hospital to nibble, the meals were not brilliant i have to say.
hope you get your head round it soon,
kindest regards,
angie xx
Guest user
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Re: NEW AND ANXIOUS MEMBER

hi all, didnt get the results i had hoped for today 😞
I have DCIS and will be having a mastectomy and axillary node surgery with a reconstruction at the same time, i believe this will be within 4 weeks, she a bit shell shocked but feeling strong but waiting for the shock to kick in a think 😞
Did i read somewhere about a facebook group that also offers support?
much love and best wishes to you all
MarthasSOS
Member

Re: NEW AND ANXIOUS MEMBER

Hi Shelly

You're welcome sweetie. I do have my fiance and he has been really supportive throughout this whole process and has remained very positive. He picks me up when I'm feeling down basically however, he never initiates any conversation around my BC and it is always on my mind to the point I've turned into a hypercondriac lol. He is there when I just need a cuddle and sometimes, he just needs a cuddle too. The only advise I can give it to just be there for each other when you feel low. It may be that is his way of coping with the news and it pushing it to the back of his mind until you receive the results of your biopsy.

The hospitals won't call you, whether it's good or bad news, you just need to wait until you see them face to face. In all honesty, I walked into the room still expecting to get the news that it was a cyst and be sent on my way but I was wrong. You have to remember that there are a lot of women who's lumps are nothing and the results are good. So please bear that in mind.

Take your mum or your partner with you when you get your results. I went alone and it probably wasn't the best idea. My mind when blank and then I just saw everything through a bubble - It just didn't feel like it was me. I took nothing in. Apart from the words that I had BC.

I'm due my WLE on Friday also. I go in at 7:30am in the morning and the op is around 11am. I'll let you know how I get on and I'll be thinking of you (once I'm awake).

Take care & soft hugs
Martha xx
angiepops
Member

Re: NEW AND ANXIOUS MEMBER

hi shellyjm
my partner doesnt like to get into the nitty gritty, he gets told what he needs to know so that he can help me, but i can see that he really doesnt cope well with the details so i dont tell him. my daughter gets all the finer details and she knows more than i do to be honest, she's really on it. i dont think a partner has to know everything, some may want to, others possibly cant take it in. mine is happy knowing that i'm getting treated and not about to die, so i would never try to force him to get too involved. having said that, i do sit going on and on if i have something i need to say, so he probably does take it in.
the waiting is the pits! i live a long way (125miles) from my hospital but they still wanted me to drive back there to get my results. my partner convinced them that a phone call would be better and that he would be there so they gave in, but i dont think this is normal, they like to tell you in person.
you sound as though you are holding up, thats good, it can be very difficult to keep it up though, so thats when i come on here and see who's up for a chat. its just amazing, i dont know how i would have managed without all these ladies help. hope you can find the same.
kindest wishes,
angie xx
catseye
Member

Re: NEW AND ANXIOUS MEMBER

Hi Shelly,

I think this is just how a lot of men are!! The head in the sand approach was also the one my husband took, but he was there when I needed him and I'm sure your partner will be too.
I got my biopsy results on the same day, but I think in general hospitals do not like giving results good or bad, out over the phone. If they've already booked you an appointment I suspect their policy is to wait to tell you then, as a few days or even weeks here or there does not make much difference to a cancer diagnosis, (at least not to the hospital...the waiting can be awful for us!). If it's good news, there may still be other test/treatments to discuss, and if it's not so good, they will be able to support you and talk it all through.
Well done on trying to keep positive, let us know how you get on on Friday..we are all here for you

XX
Guest user
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Re: NEW AND ANXIOUS MEMBER

Thanks Martha,emz, kate and cats
your support and messages really do mean a lot, thank you, i do have a partner but i think he is finding all this sooo hard to deal with that he struggles to talk about it, if i want to talk he will sit and listen but he won't bring the subject up off his own back, did anyone else find this with husband,boyfriend?
i go back to the hospital on friday for the results, my mum seemed to think that if i hadnt had a call from hospital then the liklehood is i have nothing to worry about, has anyone had a bad result but not found out until the hospital appointment or do they ring if the news isnt good?? or is my mum just trying to make me feel better lol.
this waiting is driving me crazy but im trying to think positive and keep busy.
hope you are all ok xx
catseye
Member

Re: NEW AND ANXIOUS MEMBER

Hi Shelly,
How are you? I hope the soreness has improved.
I think you said you were getting your biopsy results about now.It's a horrible position to be in, but once you know what you are dealing with, and what treatment may be needed, it really does get a bit easier to cope.
Sending you my best wishes.
X
Katebil
Member

Re: NEW AND ANXIOUS MEMBER

Hi Shelly
After my original biopsies, 5 from 2 areas I wore a good supportive bra to bed for the first couple of nights and got less bruising than they suggested I would and didn't feel too sore so might be worth a try.
As others have said, try to keep busy over the next week and keep thoughts of the results pushed to the back of your mind, don't worry about things you don't know about! Easy to say I know but worth trying! 🙂
Kate
x
Guest user
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Re: NEW AND ANXIOUS MEMBER

HI shelly I am also sorry to hear what you have been through today. Its weird how you go with one breast concern and then the other is the more of a problem. Thank goodness they investigate other breast too. I am thinking of you and as others have said get lots of support and keep busy hun.take care
love Emma x
Guest user
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Re: NEW AND ANXIOUS MEMBER

HI shelly I am also sorry to hear what you have been through today. Its weird how you go with one breast concern and then the other is the more of a problem. Thank goodness they investigate other breast too. I am thinking of you and as others have said get lots of support and keep busy hun.take care
love Emma x
MarthasSOS
Member

Re: NEW AND ANXIOUS MEMBER

Hi Shelly

I am so to hear your news. Just for information, a few days after the core biopsy I experienced sharp shooting pains in the breast. This apparently is normal, so don't be alarmed if that happens to you. You will be a little sore for a few days and then the bruising will appear.

Try to keep yourself as busy as possible - I drove myself nuts waiting for the results. It's a horrible time. I've recently re-discovered solitaire and it's keeping my mind active while I await my op.

Good luck for next week and please do let us know how you get on. Keep coming to the forum, even if it is just for a rant or some advise. I also called the helpline a couple of times and found it very useful just to get a few things off my chest (pardon the pun lol).

Take care
Martha xx
catseye
Member

Re: NEW AND ANXIOUS MEMBER

Hi Shellyjm
Really sorry to hear this news, and that you now have another week to wait. I know how slowly time seems to go when you are in this situation.
I hope you are getting lots of support from friends and family. It sounds as though you've had the full battery of tests today so make sure you let yourself be looked after for the next few days, and have a few little treats and lots of hugs. (But gentle ones - it can be bit tender for a while after these tests).
Keep posting if you need support - do you get the results a week today?
XX
Guest user
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Re: NEW AND ANXIOUS MEMBER

hi ladies it didnt go aswell as i had hoped for, although strangely enough the lump i went with turned out to be bruising of some kind, they discovered an area of concern in my right breast so had 3 mammograms, a scan, a FNA in left breast lump and had a core biopsy (i think thats what it was called) taken from a cluster of about 7 cells from the right breast, they took 14 samples.
so now with very sore and tender breasts i have another week to wait for the results 😞 xx
MarthasSOS
Member

Re: NEW AND ANXIOUS MEMBER

Good luck for today Shelly - I will keep my fingers crossed for you xx
Guest user
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Re: NEW AND ANXIOUS MEMBER

thankyou sooo much, all your support means so much, i'm feeling scared now but confident it will be a good outcome, the last wekk or 2 has been made easier reading the posts on here, cyber hugs to you all xx
angiepops
Member

Re: NEW AND ANXIOUS MEMBER

hi shelly
just to say hi and good luck for tommorow, let us know what happens.
angie xx
Guest user
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Re: NEW AND ANXIOUS MEMBER

Good luck Shelly jm x
catseye
Member

Re: NEW AND ANXIOUS MEMBER

Hi Shellyjm,

Just wanted to wish you all the best for tomorrow's appointment. Fingers crossed it will be a good outcome and you can put all the stress behind you. (If the news isn't so good there will be loads of support for you on this site, and from the BCC nurses).
Let us know how you get on. Thinking of you and everyone else going through the awful waiting time,
XX
Guest user
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Re: NEW AND ANXIOUS MEMBER

Thanks everyone and marge44 i can relate to what you have said, my appointment is on thursday and i am no longer scared, ive just decided what will be will be and i'll deal with it as and when the need arises 🙂
good luck to you all also, i'm thinking of you and praying for the best outcome for us all x
Guest user
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Re: NEW AND ANXIOUS MEMBER

I am in same situation - found painless lumps mid March, appointment with clinic is scheduled for next week (after having been told I'd be seen within a fortnight). I have been through whole process, from googling terrifying sites, losing sleep, choosing the wigs, picking the words with which to share bad news with family and friends etc. But I have also found some positives - those that do know have been supportive, this website is full of inspirational people and invaluable information and I've taken steps to reduce my workload and improve my quality of life which I probably wouldn't have got round to without being faced with a reminder of my own mortality.
Now that the wait has gone on so long, the fear has lessened and the whole situation has moved more to the back of my mind. Instead of being convinced I'll be the unlucky one, I'm beginning to think that the symptoms might not be that sinister and I'll turn out to be a time-waster - from one extreme to the other.. Either way, it shouldn't be too long 'til I find out whether my body needs chemo or champagne 😉
Best of luck to everyone else who is also in limbo, and especially to those who're undergoing treatment. xx
Guest user
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Re: NEW AND ANXIOUS MEMBER

Hi Shelly,

I was exactly the same! You are not alone in this. I found that self-help books and CDs really helped. I also found that talking to someone at Breast Cancer Care was relaxing too. Try to pamper yourself as much as possible.

All the best
Guest user
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Re: NEW AND ANXIOUS MEMBER

Thank you ladies, i am trying really hard to stay clear of google! i will let you know how i get on, so glad i found this page as its great to read that other people are going through the same, just hope its a good outcome for everyone x
catseye
Member

Re: NEW AND ANXIOUS MEMBER

Hi Shellyjm,
The two week referral time is standard policy for all new breast lumps. It does not mean your GP thinks it is cancerous - no one can tell you this just by feel. Eight or nine out of all referrals will turn out not to be cancer, so although I know it is easier said than done, please try not to panic.
The waiting time is truly awful. It does help to try and keep busy - plan a few nice things to fill the evenings and treat yourself.
I would advise against too much googling. A lot of information is really scarey, and/or out of date. If you are tempted to, stick to this site, or Macmillan or Cancer Research UK. These are reliable and accurate sources of information.
As Lucy BCC suggests, it may be an idea to ring the helpline. The nurses there are so helpful and have calmed me and reassured me on several occasions.
Let us know how you get on next Thursday.
Lucy_BCC
Member

Re: NEW AND ANXIOUS MEMBER

Hi Shelly and welcome to the BCC forums

I am sure your fellow users will undestand how you are feeling and in addition to the support you will soon have here please feel free to call our helpliners to talk through your concerns. Lines are open 9-5 weekdays and 10-2 Saturdays on 0808 800 6000.

You may find the following information link to the BCC 'Worried about breast cancer' page useful:

http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/worried?utm_source=promo_content&%3Butm_medium=help_you&%3Butm_campaign=worried

Take care

Lucy

Guest user
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Re: NEW AND ANXIOUS MEMBER

Hi Shellyjm,
I am in the same boat as you, I think my post is below yours so have a read to see that how your feeling is exactly how I'm feeling and we can't both be the only ones!
I think the key message I'm getting is that this whole process is a waiting game, it is something that we can't currently control and we just have to put our faith in the timescales that have been set by people in a better authority than ourselves.
That said, my husband took me and my girls for a surpirse trip to Disneyland last weekend and I did manage to forget and managed to have a lovely time; however on the Eurostar home I burst into tears knowing that the week ahead that I am now facing is dragging on and on. I'm referring to it as my 'Disney comedown' to people at work who see me looking a bit glum at my desk!
I think, if possible, try and get out and plan to do things between now and your appointment to keep your focus on something else and try to remember that you aren't alone in this.
Surreymum
Guest user
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NEW AND ANXIOUS MEMBER

Hi all, this is my story so far,
just over 2 1/2 weeks ago i thought i felt a little lump in my left breast but after trying to find it again and being unable to i thought no more about it that was until last thursday evening when i felt it again but this time it had doubled in size, i quickly became anxious and went to the lady doctor last friday morning, her reactions were not very convincing that it was going to be ok, she straight away suspected it was something to worry about and booked me in within the 2 week timescale, i go to the linda mc cartney centre next thursday.
Everyone keeps telling me theres no point in worrying about it until i know for sure, this i understand and i know they are right but i find myself just laying wide awake of a night just crying uncontralably, i am driving myself insane 😞
has anyone else been the same while waiting for their 1st appointments?