Need some perspective !

[Kittkatt]

Thanks so much, Jan. I actually had a really good appointment with the surgeon & support nurse and I managed not to blub! Won't know about chemo until my appointment a week post op but we had a good chat about the surgery, radiotherapy and he's hoping to do the sentinel node biopsy through the same wound if he can. We discussed lipofilling if I feel the need later on down the line and managed a bit of a laugh about me choosing the donor site for the fat (belly fat every time!). Support nurse also observed that it's the first time I've not run away from her and I reckon we'll manage some pretty good gallows humour together 😄 So I'm feeling much better, thanks. Xx

[Jan-65]

Hi,  I'm probably the wrong person to ask what to ask the doctor about because I hardly asked anything! My doctor was so laid back about the whole thing that I was too.  I did ask about the potential decrease in breast size and he said not much, like I said before I've gone down about a cup size but because I've lost my nipple and areola I think it looks a bit smaller.  He told me that my dcis was about 3cm which he said was quite large but I have heard from other ladies who had much larger areas.  I was more upset about the radiotherapy which sounded totally alarming to me but in fact apart from a radiation burn which took an age to heal it really was all ok.  All I think is thank god I didnt have to have chemotherapy which I really dont think I could have coped with, DCIS really is the cancer I would choose if some one made me pick one!!  I am lucky it is non invasive and am now absolutely fine and so will you be.  Feel free to keep in touch I know its so worrying and upsetting at the start of things.

Take care

Jan

[Kittkatt]

Thanks Jan, that's reassuring. I'd made the huge mistake of googling and I reckon came up with lots of pre & post plastic surgery photos with the post lumpectomy photo looking so much worse than I had expected ... duh ! They're trying to sell plastic surgery to vulnerable women!! Get a grip, Kitt!
Surgery next Wednesday & seeing surgeon tomorrow - he wasn't available at my diagnosis appointment and seemed to think it would be ok to chat just before I went to theatre ... I thought not!
I still haven't heard what stage my cancer is since that wasn't available yet at last appointment so I do feel the need to see him. Still can't keep the waterworks completely under control so have written all my questions down - might just hand him the piece of paper then grab the Kleenex!
Have you any hints for things you wished you'd asked pre-op?

[Jan-65]

Hi Kittkatt

I had a high grade DCIS unfortunately it was behind my nipple so my WLE included removal of the nipple and aerola.  I cant tell you how upset I was at first, I felt like I was going to look like a circus freak and did nothing but worry and cry,  but you know what, now that its over with it really doesnt bother me at all!! All in all I have probably lost about a cup size in bra but I do think its a small price to pay to be cancer free. I wasnt so lucky but the vast majorty of women dont lose as much as me and from all the photos I have seen post op the most you will see is a small dip about the size of a 50p and a very small scar about an inch which will fade over time.  Please try not to be upset over it I'm sure it wont be as bad as you might think. xx

[Dmcf]

Oh woodview it can be completely overwhelming at times but believe me when I say b4 my diagnosis I was beside myself with worry and fear. I truly hope they have good news for you but if it isn't you'll be surprised at just how strong you are and have to be. When I got my dx everything came into perspective after the fog of awaiting results. Try not to worry so that you can go into your appointment with a clear head. Take someone with you who you know will keep it together for you so they can listen to what's being said. Thinking of you & fingers crossed x x

[Sharbansh]

If you are besides with worry like I am ,you can speak to a breast nurse at the clinic,they are very understanding and may be able to put your mind at rest. I have rang them so many times I have list count,everyone is an individual and anxiety issues which I have do not help good luck tomorrow let us know how you get on ?xx

[Sharbansh]

Easy to say but stay positive,I had biopsy done few weeks ago thought it was benign fibroadanoma,then decided benign phylloydes,I have got to have lumpectomy in next two weeks to get a definite diagnosis be pleased when lump is out,have you got a lump ?
Shar xx

[Woodview]

I had my core biopsy last week and have just had a phone call to attend clinic at 9 in the morning I am distraught I now am convinced it's BC why would they want to see me so quickly surely if it was benign they would have rung me ? I am so glad I can come on here and look at other positive remarks ,I am usually very logical and calm and usually the supportive one .The waiting is the hardest part
Thanks for being there ladies x

[Sharbansh]

Thanks for your kindness,I shall try and take a leaf out of your book and stop feeling sorry for myself,do you know what really hurts my close family avoid calling me talking to me how cruel is that?you can pick your friends but not your family hey?sounds like you have a good family there and I admire your courage and good spirit!My hubby had esophagus cancer 3 years ago 4 inch tumour removed and still here enjoying life,like he said to me you can be treated and you are in their clever hands to sort it!! Have a lovely day love Shar xxx

[Dmcf]

Aw sharbansh! Some days are rotten. Don't think ahead to if you'll enjoy christmas. Take one day at a time and then reflect on the day, I've started writing a diary. You will find something positive from every day and believe me I've had my fair few rough days ESP with my 2 kids & husband being really poorly. I've been the healthiest one in the house hold lol. If you worry about not enjoying it you won't be able to. Cancer doesn't deserve worry or fear. Some one said to me there are a few things cancer cells can't invade, your courage, your faith & your soul. I hope you start feeling more positive soon x x

[Sharbansh]

Hello I just cannot help you there,I had not realised how many different breast cancers there were,can you not ask your breast nurse she may be able to help you there?
I feel so down today how can we enjoy christmas with this going on in our heads? Xx

[Dmcf]

Hi kitkat, don't feel silly at all I'm currently awaiting my surgery for grade 3 idc tn. Which means chemo for me then radio as there are no other courses of action. I'm 31. My surgeon has said in a lot of cases the Breast doesn't end up looking to dissimilar so I guess we just wait and see. At the mo I'm thinking more about how to have my very long hair cut! I know that sounds trivial but I'd much rather donate it to a good cause than the bin and I'm getting uptight about the fact that short hair won't suit me!! So who knows what I'll be like if/when it starts coming out x x

[Kittkatt]

Yes, just trying for as much normality as possible . Don't have info on stage or HER receptor status yet, just that there is some invasive and some DCIS...amazing how quickly we have to learn a whole new vocabulary, isn't it!
Does the presence of DCIS mean it's likely the other cells are stage 1 or does it not work like that??x

[Sharbansh]

The waiting is horrendous,what I am trying do is keep busy,did your biopsies show that you had this?
Mine showed up as lump on mammogram ,then biopsy was done,,along with ultrasound!it amazes me how the labs etc can tell what sort of cancer it is? Shar xx

[Kittkatt]

Not sure - waiting for a date at the moment ... probably a couple of weeks. The waiting is the worst, isn't it!!! X

[Sharbansh]

I was told after the excision my breast would be a bit dented,so god knows what it will look like after op!when do you go in for yours done?I am so anxious at moment getting worked up about op be nice to get lump out before christmas!Ladies on here are so brave and I feel happy to chat Shar x

[Kittkatt]

Thanks Shar - I appreciate the support . X

[Sharbansh]

Hello kit that,I know exactly how you feel ,I am 52 thought my lump was hormone change etc,had the biopsy results which first said fibroadanoma,then decided it was a phyllodes and I have to have it removed,you still can't get negative thoughts out of your mind well I can't anyway!please do not google anything like I did it made me worse just stay on here they are lovely ladies ,I go for my pre op next week get this horrid lump out then try and focus on christmas which at the moment can take a back seat for me,I have to then wait a further two weeks for results to see what next lot of treatment is!i dread going to my clinic as the atmosphere is so so depressing and I panic when I get there !My sister in laws friend had both breasts off about 3months ago and on Tamoxifen and she looks brill so there you go xx

[Sam_BCC]

Hi Kittkatt

Welcome to the forums, I hope you find them to be a great source of information and support.  Whilst you are waiting for the other users to reply with their experiences you might find it helpful to talk things through with a member of staff on the BCC helpline.  Here you can share your fears and concerns with some one who will offer you a listening ear as well as emotional support and practical information. The number to call is

0808 800 6000 and lines are open today 10 to 2pm and weekdays 9 to 5pm.

Best wishes Sam, BCC Facilitator  

[Kittkatt]

I feel so shallow to be struggling with my issues having read some of the stories here but I can't stop crying so here we go ....
Felt a small lump which I tried to ignore for a few weeks assuming it was hormonal. Didn't change so saw GP who didn't reckon it was a "nasty lump" but referred me to breast clinic to be on the safe side. Initial consultation suspected fat necrosis but mammogram lead to ultrasound to core biopsies and then a week later confirmed invasive carcinoma. ER8 and PR8, nothing seen in lymph nodes so I should be happy, right?
So I know my prognosis is good - plan is for wide local excision, radiotherapy and tamoxifen and I'll live happily ever after. So why can I not get my head around the body image issues? I'm hardly the body beautiful anyway, have a lovely supportive husband and couldn't have been more than a couple of years away from the menopause anyway so why am I not reassured by being told that my deformed breast will have "a bit of a dip", my scar will be "a wrinkle" and I can manage the tamoxifen side effects with lubricant and dieting!
I'm so, so sorry for those of you in life limiting situations but does anyone else in my situation feel like this?