Need to be heard and some minimal advice

[Saffron]

I am American.  Our system is a lot more punative and complicated than what you describe.  I did not realize this was a UK site, but thanks for being so nice.  I doubt I will follow up with anything until I am without any other options for the pain, but at least I am somewhat not alone with my fear.

[ann-m]

just to add to what has already been said, Saffron, no-one is going to judge you, you will need to get to your gp for referral to the breast clinic. So many of us have had good experiences at the breast clinic, with lovely staff who will look after you & get you the help needed IF diagnosed.
do come back here if you need to.
ann xxx

[Kiki2]

Hi Saffron, I'm so sorry to hear that you find yourself in such a difficult position but please try to take that step and see your GP. As Jobey said, if you are referred it all happens very quickly and most of the tests etc are usually done at the first appointment at the breast clinic. All the medical professionals I came across were really understanding and always explained things at each stage and answered any questions. The choice of treatment is ultimately down to you, but please try to think of your own recovery and consider what is offered. Of course you may not have Cancer at all. People always told me to stick to Macmillan or Cancer research or this site when I was googling to avoid scaring myself to death! I wish you all the best, please let us know how you get on, xx

[Jobey68]

Hi Saffron , No one will judge you here my love and as for dr Google and self diagnosis I think we've all done that too but in many cases there is nothing sinister going on, so many ladies have passed through the forum convinced they have breast cancer only to get a benign result once they have been checked out. 

The only way to know what's going on is to take the first step and see your GP who will refer you to the breast clinic if they feel there is something that needs investigating, this all happens pretty quickly within a couple of weeks , no one will force you in to surgery or treatment if it comes to that, they can only advise what may need doing but the choice is absolutely yours! 

I'm sorry you have such a bad relationship with your mother, the one person you should be able to turn too but Please don't let her stop you from getting some help, it's time to start thinking about yourself and what's right for you, take things one step at a time and lean on us here for support Xx Jo 

[Saffron]

First, let me say I have had symptoms that look like inflamatory breast cancer for a few months.  I have the thickening and swelling in the breast, the nipple has flattened, the breast periodically gets inflamed and has the "orange peel" skin look, a sore has even opened up--it feels like the breast is rotting from the inside out.  The lymph nodes under the armpit on the same side are swollen and that shoulder feels like it is about to break.  I am continually fatigued and often sick with fever, chills, nausea.  With that said, I know someone is going to get up in my grill about diagnosing myself on the internet.  Please, just don't.  Getting real medical care is not an option for me for a number of reasons, one being that I am still caring for/live with my 84 year old mother who has abused me my entire life and has been particularly cruel to me whenever I am sick.  In the years I have lived with her, she has driven away every friend I ever had, so getting support for doctor's appointments and so forth is also non-existant.  Add to this that I am terrified of the medical profession, and quite overweight, so I don't expect to be seen as anyone of value in that context, just another fat **bleep**bag who doesn't take care of herself.  Really, I just wanted this to be heard because I am all alone without a soul to talk to about it.  And, I would like some advice on how I might go about getting a diagnosis and palliative care without being forced into (potentially) curative (chemo,radiation,surgeries) I don't want.  I'm ready to go, I just need to really find out for sure if it is real, how much time I have, and hopefully have some medical professional be compassioniate enough to help me control the pain if it is the worst.  Thank you.