62236members
327658posts
cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Negative comments about reconstruction

7 REPLIES 7
Member

Re: Negative comments about reconstruction

I got a lot of these comments when I went for my new nipple recon., why are you bothering etc. I agree it is really hurtful as they haven't a clue what it is like, just because you look fine in clothes doesn't mean you are happy with how you see yourself when you look in the mirror. I am going to cancel my tattooing appt that I have next week as the scars haven't healed enough around it (I was allegic to various dressings), and no amount of tattoo will ever cover them up. I may get it done at a later date, if things improve. My bcn gave me some silcone cream to help, but I honestly don't think it has made any difference.  At least you know you are not alone with thinking this and it is great that there are others hear to have good moan with and who really understand what you are going through.

Take care

K M x

Member

Re: Negative comments about reconstruction

Thank you everyone, your comments have made me feel so much better now. Here's hoping my surgery tomorrow goes well and I will at long last be "finished" (apart from a little tattooing that is) Smiley Happy

Member

Re: Negative comments about reconstruction

lbx157 I think you have put up with a lot of cr** from people. They have no right to criticize your choices, and how you decide to do things. I get really upset at the thought of these selfish people saying things like this to you. I'd like to see any of them go through what you have, and still be polite to someone who says "why bother?" Grr.
You are the one that has to live with this. it's your body. and you know what you need to see under a bra to be comfortable with living. NOone can dictate that to you. Good luck on your journey and I hope you are nearly finished with surgeries.
sorry for the bit of a rant there, but your story hit a nerve there x x
Member

Re: Negative comments about reconstruction

I think a lot of this is your state of mind.I,too had several operations all last winter,and any comment,even nice ones,would make me cry.I used to get "rest up,we know what you're like" or "are you sure you should be walking/knitting?"once I walked out of a restaurant in tears by such comments.You can imagine the comments I had when deciding to go for a DIEP!!
Now home,having had this a few days ago,however,in a much better place.People do mean well..........but.
Member

Re: Negative comments about reconstruction

I have a hunch they really don't know what to say and are actually trying to protect themselves from something they find very difficult and wish would go away......... not much use to you or me tho........

Member

Re: Negative comments about reconstruction

Thank you x
Member

Re: Negative comments about reconstruction

Aren't some people insensitive ! Walk a mile in our shoes that's what I say. I have grade 3 TNBC which isn't great but I am still really really upset about losing my hair and taking off my acrylic nails ! Call me vain I don't care that's me , everyone tells me it should be the least of my worries but I can't help how I feel! As this is a re-occurrence I put up with loads of rude comments before ,,,,,it must be your lifestyle , well not many survive to name a couple of lovely ones I got! I have decided to tell them how rude they are this time if they do it . You are being really strong and doing what's right for you .....you are the one that has to live with all this not them. I've had recon this time but it's all brand new so don't know how it will end up looking , but if I hate it I will do something about it ........ Just look after you and your feelings and don't let these negative people bring you down . We all deal with this however we can, just do whatever you need to get you through ........sending massive hugs xxxxx
Member

Negative comments about reconstruction

Hi there, just wanted to ask if anyone else has received negative comments about having a reconstruction. I am just coming to the end of a very long & complicated igap+implant+lipofilling reconstrsuction involving about 6 different operations and having what hopefully will be the last surgery tomorrow. While people were supportive at the start I'm now getting comments along the lines of "why are you having more surgery, you'll never get it perfect", "why does it matter anyway, no one sees it", "why should you expect both breasts to be the same, most women have one bigger than the other" and "you should just be grateful you're alive & healthy instead of putting your body through unnecessary surgery". These comments are beginning to really upset me now & making me wish I'd never started on this journey. It has taken 5 years to get to this point, if I had known it was going to take so long I don't think I would have done it. Just so fed up with it all now Smiley Sad