I was diagnosed in December and had my first dose of chemo just 11 days later, a week before Christmas! I had a total panic attack about that because the oncologist told me they wouldn't get me in before Christmas, so it would be after, then I had a phone call with an appointment before and it really upset me. I didn't know if I was coming or going.
I had a 5cm tumour with infected lymph nodes and ER+, but HER2-, although the biopsy results didn't all come back until February. I found myself going to hospital every few days through the remainder of December, and had my bone scan and CT scan after my first dose of FEC. It was all so overwhelming.
I was told that my cancer was very aggressive and that they needed to stop it in its tracks, and that going straight into chemo was the best way to achieve this. I've now had 3 cycles of FEC and had my first session of Taxotere last Wednesday. I had an ultrasound scan after the FEC to see what was happening, and my tumour had collapsed like a lump of jelly, although it was still about the same size, just soft and pliable. Also my lymph nodes had significantly reduced in size. My oncologist was very pleased with these results, which was reassuring.
I coped with the FEC quite well. It mainly gave me extreme fatigue, and made me hobble about like an 80 year old (I'm only 48), so I needed lots of rest. I had bad mouth ulcers each cycle and lost some fillings, but never had any nausea at all.
Taxotere though, this is a different beast. I felt fine for a couple of days and even took my son out for lunch 2 days after my chemo last week, but then it hit me over the weekend. I seriously question how older people cope with this. It's evil. I really hope I never have to go through chemo again, or I'll be asking to avoid Taxotere! I hate it.
Now that I only have 2 cycles to go, I've started thinking about my op. I saw my oncologist 2 weeks ago and she said I would see the breast surgeon again after I complete my chemo. I have already got appointments for a mammogram and ultrasound and am waiting for an appointment for another CT scan so they can take a look at everything afterwards. There is an element of doubt about whether the cancer had already spread within my lymphatic system, as some lymph nodes around my body were larger than usual. They want to keep an eye on them, as, if it has spread, this can be managed but not cured. That's worrying me but I'm trying to remain positive. At least it definitely hasn't spread to my organs or bones.
I was told 2 weeks ago that having a double mastectomy does not reduce the risk of the cancer returning, as if it does return, it will be secondary, elsewhere in the body. Breast cancer generally returns or spreads to the bones, lungs or brain. Not nice thoughts. I am concerned about ending up lop sided though, so asked about having a double for cosmetic purposes, to keep a "matching pair" if you like. I am currently a 44DD, and have heard that quite often you end up with the reconstructed breast much smaller than the other. I don't fancy that.
But as I won't see my breast surgeon until after the tests after the chemo, I'm guessing that my consultation with him will be about 2 weeks before the op, so not much time for discussion or understanding. All a bit frightening again. I wish I could talk it through at a more leisurely pace.
The whole experience feels like a rollercoaster, and I really wish I could get off it for a while. I'm tired and worn down now, but instead of looking forward to finishing chemo, I'm worrying about the op. There's no light at the end of the tunnel yet. Still have radiotherapy to face in the autumn, which I'm also dreading, and I know I'm going to need hormone therapy but haven't even been told how long for or when it'll start.
