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New and scared about my results this Friday!

31 REPLIES 31

Re: New and scared about my results this Friday!

Sorry Kim! Predictive texting, wasn't watching, lol xxxxx

Re: New and scared about my results this Friday!

Hi Kim, I like you had a bit of a breakdown of wound yesterday band havnt even started radio yet! Grrrrr. Mine is from pressure of dressing they have devised as nipple protector, in protecting it they have made my new nipple blister? Hope you are feeling now it better now? How did you cope at christenicare and what is radio like? Take care lots of hugs, Sarah xxx
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Re: New and scared about my results this Friday!

Hi Sarah - really glad to hear your news 🙂 sorry have been off line as have been a little off colour as my surgical scar has broken down a little from the rad treatment and not being able to wear a bra was challenging as I had my grandson s christening on Sunday! I was the one not in the many glamorous maxi dresses !!!!!! 🙂 x Kim

Re: New and scared about my results this Friday!

Hi Melrose15, Kathy and Katy, THANKYOU for your happy thoughts! I am wearing a support top tonight and it is very comfy, I tried going bra less yesterday as he wished but by last night the pain was so immense I gave in and had a good look at how they had dressed my nipple and a really great idea (square dressing folded in to a quarter then cut hole in middle for nipple to sit in) but they had put the surgical tape across my scar not down sides not scared side and the weight of my breast pulling down was pulling the tape and making the scar pull down, it's now really angry, so I redressed it myself and now more comfotable, just hugely tender! Soooooooo ....... Now can't bear to not wear something, wore my bra today with strap down, with my own invented dressing, the same as above but better and tonight support vest top! Just going to improvise and do my own way. Vest tops are really good, bra is so much more comfy though, just support. But will keep wearing vest tops because they are more loose! From M&S. going to practise wearing them with shirts like you sugested Katy. Kathy, so glad you had your date for re-excision, just no how you are feeling with all the waiting, just want to scream at them! I'm just sorry you have to go through another op, I was dreading all that yesterday. I will have a look at the bras that you have suggested. Keep intouch anytime, will help emotionally as much as I can. Katy, I couldn't cope without all the advice on this forum. (My cat is just trying to get the most ridiculous attention, lol! Head butting my iPad and knocking it over, lol) wish I could send photos on this forum X guess what........ I had the fish again tonight!!! Not the chips and left all the batter, I no it's naughty but I have lost a stone in 23 days, shock and worry! And it wont hurt me to lose a bit! So I loved it so much last night, the thick white cod, hot and burnt my mouth, yumyum, was so hungry for the first time in days I thought I would have it again, sorry! Couldn't be bothered to cook and I didn't have the energy to do it either. Had to entertain family tonight as well, and I was just to tired so gave them money to get food! Post op 10 days. Love the idea to wear support vest tops with pretty shirts, will try in the morning! Wearing a pyjama shirt over vest top tonight and that looks pretty! Take care my lovely friends and big hugs to you all, Sarah xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Re: New and scared about my results this Friday!

Hi Sarah, glad you are feeling more relieved with your news. As I have just said on another thread we are lucky that we live in a time the Surgeons and Oncologists can do amazing things.
As Melrose suggests, the vest tops with built in support are really comfy and I found them useful during my rad treatment. In this hot weather they are just like wearing a skimpy top anyway and under an open blouse shirt they look great! Mind, you might have to go steady on the fish and chips ! I know what you mean though having naughty comfort food and enjoying it especially just now. Think I am going to look like a lettuce leaf if I eat anymore salad! Take care and now you can move forward . Katy.

Re: New and scared about my results this Friday!

Hi Sarah, I finally got a date for my 2nd re-excision its 6th August, another wait to check if the clear margin is enough . It was out by 0.3mm last time so I am fairly hopeful . I will need to recover from the op before either chemo or rads. I still don't know which yet. I was dx on 31st May, 1st WLE and SNB was 2nd July . Yet another month's wait for 2nd re-excision! Feel like shouting "WILL YOU GET A MOVE ON" !
How about wearing one of those moulded bras , but one cup size bigger so that it gives you support but doen't make contact with your nipple? They sell them in Primar-na. Kathy x

Re: New and scared about my results this Friday!

Great news Sarah. Always happy to celebrate success. 🙂
Can you wear vest tops with inbuilt support, I have a few from Primark and M&S?
Good luck and take care xx

Re: New and scared about my results this Friday!

THANKYOU Kathy! I am so flipping tired but can't sleep! All the feelings I guess. Hope you were ok at your app yesterday? the worst thing to happen today is they have told me I can't wear my bra for 10 days, flattening new nipple, any ideas? Clothing wise? Love and hugs Sarah xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Re: New and scared about my results this Friday!

So happy for you Sarah ! That is the best news , all that bloomin' worrying, waiting for results ! Don't you dare feel guilty! I'm over the moon for you . Hope you get a good nights sleep Love and hugs Kathy xx

Re: New and scared about my results this Friday!

Hi guys, just wanted you all to no my results today were the best I could have wished for! Had family over tonight to celebrate, if you can celebrate this experience? I was diagnosed with DCIS and IDBC, 15 mm bc with 2mm CLEAR diameter, 0/2 lymph nodes CLEAR, e rec+ and her2 negative, grade 2 and stage 1. So phew .......... What a relief! Still can't find anyone who has had this new procedure to compare notes? I posted on reconstructive surgery, was lumpectomy op and nipple removal, cancer was adhered to nipple, and recon on nipple all in one op? Surgeon and nurses told me only 6 moths ago this would of been a maestectomy due to nipple been involved! Anyone out there? I am sooooo relieved! It's still cancer I know but I think it's the best that I could of hoped for? i had prepared myself for much worse, so in a nice way this was a shock, didn't have BBQ tonight, we had fish and chips instead, I had a massive urge for something bad, and a couple of drinks to top off! Hope you are all ok today? I feel guilty for sharing my good news? Take care every one and THANKYOU all for your support, lasts nights chats really helped get me strong for today! And Katy I loved waking up to your post this morning, set the day off straight and level headed and thought, lets go and get this over! Love and hugs to you all, Sarah xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Re: New and scared about my results this Friday!

Hi Sarah, hope you are OK today. As you said you have to face it head on. Once you know what you got to deal with it puts you more in control. It won't be easy but sounds like you are developing some coping strategies.
Sorry Kimvon I did have a smile about the dog comparison. There was a thread on this website about daft things people say. See if you can find it as it will make you giggle. I have met many who have given me remedies , suggestions and comparisons and I really want to tell them they have no idea ( in stronger words) and I just remind them politely that each cancer is different for each person. Seems there is a general consensus that cancer is one type with people being ignorant about all the types , stages etc.
Dealing with others was the hardest thing me and my hubby found at the beginning. I just could not face it after we told the family as they all were in shock and tears and we found ourselves trying to protect them. In the end we asked members of the family to tell others then friends the same. It saved us getting upset.
Our neighbours/friends we did not tell for weeks as it was right on Christmas and we had already spoiled that for family so thought better of it telling them.Once they found out all were sympathetic and caring. Yes they don't know what to say but that is because they don't want to say the wrong thing but usually end up doing so!. It certainly has been a real learning curve for me. Like you bulldogbyrne I am a psychiatric nurse as well as a general one but retired now. I even worked in Oncology when I first qualified and haven't things changed since then!. I live in Gloucester so the Cheltenham oncology unit is one of the best in the country and I feel lucky I live near it.
There is a Maggie centre next to it and they give support and somewhere to go ok between treatments and appointments. They also offer various therapies, counselling if you need it. Keep strong everyone and remember the most important thing is to look after yourselves in whatever way suits you. Katy.

Re: New and scared about my results this Friday!

Hi bulldogbyrne, blimey! You have had a horrible time........ Hope all is well now! When I first came on here a few days ago was totally terrified but now I seem to feel more accepting of what's happening, whatever is going to happen tomoz is going to happen and there is nothing I can do to stop it..... So I have got to meet it head on and be strong! But I may have a blow out tomoz night Though! Good or bad? Booze and BBQ, bet it will rain, lol! I have found this site a real inspiration and all the ladies on it! Oh and by the way, I first read you job title as PSYCHIC Nurse, lol! I recon that would be really good fun, HEHEHE. Got to go to bed now, I have a date tomoz with a really good looking oncologist, sleep tight and cheers back at you love Sarah xxxxxxx

Re: New and scared about my results this Friday!

THANKYOU powerjen, loving the name, appropriate I think. I am really glad that you feel positive now! And something good has come out of this nasty experience for you. To be honest I am not at all surprised that you feel that way after everything that you have been through and come out the other side? I think we should have a Toast, " to the new stronger you!" Cheers ...... Take care my lovely and will post again with my results tomoz night, good or bad! Sarah Xxx

Re: New and scared about my results this Friday!

You sound like great fun lol Hope it goes well for you. I was diagnosed in 2010, had mastectomy and 10 lymph nodes removed 5 were cancerous. I am a psychiatric nurse but have still not absorbed what type of breast cancer I have/had ?? I got all the info as I am an info kind of girl............but now not sure if I want to 'know it all'. I was told to have ABCD and I should be ok so I had the mastectomy, had chemo, had radio then reconstruction. Unfortunately I had lung cancer also so had that tumor removed b4 me chemo. I know folk who have worked all the way through but I could not have, I am now in full time employment and have to take 5 years tamoxifen......2 more to go..I think. I completed a moving forward programme with breast cancer care which I found extremely helpful having 'therapies' and anything I could !! We all have our own way of dealing with it......I a bit of a joker too and I do not think it a big deal until I A) write about it then I think ffs that is bad or B) when I see how bad some cope with it.............This is one of lifes awful journies which I deal with like the rest !! I try to eat healthily, exercise etc but I sit here with Lager doing none of that really and I moved from where I lived.............partly cause of gettign a job but it were cheaper and all sorts of reasons. I regret nothing and take each day as it comes cheers

Re: New and scared about my results this Friday!

Phew, that was a big post! Must be the Rekie, lol X

Re: New and scared about my results this Friday!

Hi Gill, Judith and Kimvon, I have had a lovely day at The Haven, Hereford Judith. All of the above and was there all day! Even my mum had counselling, the most amazing, positive and safe place to be. Got home had a bit of a blip, don't know where that one came from? So went with my husband up Hay Bluff (mountain) only walked a small distance to a special rock that I like to sit on and take in the view. Sat there night before op and it helped then so was determined to do again tonight but carefull as 9 days post op. Feel ready and strong for tomorrow, it really is healing up there, that mixed with reiki has worked a treat! Bring on tomorrow, i CAN deal with this, don't no if I will feel that way in the morning but it feels good now. Gill, good luck tomorrow with your onc app, and please let me no how you get on, it did me good to have a rant last night and spoke to my counsellor about it all today! Do you have one? Really helpfully. Judith, Hereford Haven it is and we are incredibly lucky to have those lovely people to be with whenever we need them! I can't say how much today has helped and feel some fundraising coming on when I feel well again. Check out their Facebook page? Its not the Hereford page, but a page that has all three havens on it. I haven't found it yet tonight but something wonderfull happened to me last week and is still happening! They are going to put a link and share with all the BC members, I think Lesley will be dealing with it tomorrow and hopefully all the kindness that happened on the day of my op can raise some money for Hereford Haven. Sooooooo exciting. Put it this way, a little taster, we all have to wear HAPPY/LUCKY PANTS! Will let you no when I no more? I hope it will cheer everybody up! Perhaps we could meet for some Bad food in that little cafe in the arcade next to the Haven? Let me no if you fancy it! We could cry together? Or laugh, that would be nice. I am there next Thursday for app at 1.30? And Kimvon, appalled is the word right now! But not shocked, I bet that made you feel fantastic! Keeping things quiet in a small community is impossible but on the positive side I went to Hereford today about 20 miles away and didn't no anybody and had a great look around with no hassle, felt almost normal for 5 mins! Hope your feeling a bit better tonight? Let me no how you are tomoz. Will let you all no how I have got on with results tomoz night. Take care, wishing everyone sweet dreams, Sarah xxxxxxxxxx

Re: New and scared about my results this Friday!

Hi Sarah, your aunt has a point. Before I had Bc I was very un assertive at times and I worried about my work a lot. After going through lumpectomy, radiotherapy, chemo and herceptin I felt able to cope with anything, it put things into perspective for me and I stopped worrying as much about things , so at least something positive came out of having this horrible ddisease good luck x

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Re: New and scared about my results this Friday!

All the very best for tomorrow Sarah x I live in a small community and whilst people mean well is hard when sometimes you feel at war with yourself. Tried to keep it quiet but ...... Have had a bit of a traumatic day with my wound breaking down but hey the pearl of wisdom from someone ........ Their neighbours dog had cancer 5 years ago and is still alive ..... ??? Sigh x hugz to all x
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Re: New and scared about my results this Friday!

Hi Sarah I found the Haven invaluable when I was first diagnosed and still do 4 months down the line. They got me through diagnosis ,surgery and radiotherapy ,finish it tomorrow ,hurrah. Which Haven are you going to .I am in Hereford ,we are SO lucky to have one of only three in the country , normaly Hereford is way behind the rest of the country! Be kind to youself ,take whats on offer ,it really helps. Good luck for tommorrow. Judith

Re: New and scared about my results this Friday!

hi Sarah you could be writing this post for me the tears and frustration the horrible cliches that i just dont want to hear. People trying it be kind but have no idea what turmoil is going on inside. No I hate this crappy cancer i was quite happy with my sometimes boring life its like being hit with a truck Hate appointments, surgery, waiting for results panicking its all you know what . but i am so glad i found this forum the ladies on here have really helped whatever you are feeling or worried about re- results etc someone on here has been there done it and can reassure us . i too have onc appt fri be thinking of you keep us updated love Gill

Re: New and scared about my results this Friday!

Hi Katy, just wanted to let you no that I am booked into The Haven (BC centre) tomorrow for some reflexology, rekei, counselling and nutrition advice, (pre -results Friday) all free! So I hope that might give me a bit of strength so I can take in what they are saying, Friday! THANKYOU for your advice, took it on board and did something about it! Do you or does anyone else have any ideas on how to go out shopping and facing people? I live in a small town and people are just starting to hear and i just don't feel like I can face them all. constant tears and shock was enough, can't cope with people's reactions, even nice ones because I didn't want this crappy cancer in the 1st place so sympathy and people's stories about how they new someone 10 years ago who had it and they are fine, doesn't make me feel any better, I couldn't care less to be honest! It's me in the NOW that has it! Rant over, sorry. I know, that was mean, they are only trying to help! But really I wish they wouldn't bother. I feel better now. Really looking forward to some NICE treatments tomorrow. Love and hugs to you all, Sarah X

Re: New and scared about my results this Friday!

Hi 45 thegreenroom. Once you know exactly what you are dealing with you will feel more in control. If you have questions now write them down to ask when you are there. My treatment centre had a brilliant information centre which I got a lot of McMillan cancer care information booklets which were helpful. Also I was offered six alternative treatments such as reflexology, massage, reiki , etc too choose from. I had a couple of reflexology sessions and three facials at no cost to me and they all helped me to cope and relax. Use the breast care nurse you have had allocated and phone her if you are feeling panicky, or phone the nurses on this website.
Having cancer is scary but there is so much help and support out there you are not alone as the ladies on this forum have already said. Let us know how it goes . Best wishes Katy.

Re: New and scared about my results this Friday!

Angle, Melrose, Kathryn and kimvon, I just wanted to thankyou for all your advice and kind words. I have already started trying to use some of your ideas! I think just talking is helping, not family or close friends as I just feel like I am burdening them with more. I am already addicted to candy crush, so that comment was perfect and made me laugh, perhaps I could go on Friday and let hubby go in for results while I sit in waiting room playing on candy crush, lol! Maybe not! I find it incredible that we can all go through this and have all these worries, extreme anxieties, thoughts, tears, what ifs, whys and all stay sane? I had a card from my aunty the other day saying that this experience will make me a much stronger person when it's all over! Well, it doesn't feel like it at the moment. I had my first decent nights sleep last night in 3 weeks and I would like to think that all your advice has something to do with it! I would love to write questions down for Friday but can't think what I should or need to ask, any ideas? I have a rough idea of treatment but until Friday results I can't be sure. Probably hormone treatment and radiotherapy. What are hormone treatments like? Have really struggled with losing my nipple as lump was adhered to it, has any one else any ideas on the sence of loss? I think the fact that it has all happened in just 20 days? To think I had a normal life just 21days ago, it's a massive impact. I hope juliemb is ok today after her chemo. This is a wonderfull site and really enjoy chatting with you all, THANKYOU! Love and hugs back to you all, Sarah Xxxxxxxxxxx
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Re: New and scared about my results this Friday!

Hi there the journey and waiting is always challenging. After information overload initially this is now the only site I frequent and it is a wealth of support and information. I find that writing questions down as I think of them useful for visits and having someone one wih you means you can actually remember what was the answers ! Between I find talking to a few close friends about other interests and whilst I enjoy reading short stories and magazines are about as much as I can currently absorb but takes my mind off things. Candy crush on my iPad has become a love hate relationship but whilst waiting between appointments (on silent !) and when I cannot sleep relieves anxiety !!! I wish u well x x

Re: New and scared about my results this Friday!

Waiting for the results was torture for me. It was far worse then having surgery because it was messing with my mind. In my case I knew the grade was 3, growing aggressively. In the time between WLE & SNB and test results, I had got it in my head that my BC would be out of control etc etc. I broke down in tears with relief when I got my results and there was no nodes involved. I still need to have a re-excision to make the clear margins larger on one side.
While you are recovering from your operation and waiting test results, you need to give yourself little treats. Sometimes I would go to a nice coffee shop with my daughter or a friend. I didn't feel like talking about the dreaded BC and told them so, we talked about anything else though. I even walked the race for life one evening with some friends, one of whom had BC treatment in 2012. I felt walking helped me sleep better at night. I know everyone deals with their fears differently. I also bought Kalms tablets and took one if I ever felt the panic rising or getting out of control. They are also good at bed time or if you wake during the night. Tell your BC nurse how fearful you are on Friday, your nurse will tell you if the results show clear margins and if there are any nodes involved. She will give you an indication of what treatments will be involved or if more surgery maybe needed. a lot of people feel more in control once they have their results because its better then waking at 4am with the " What ifs" going through your head. Take care and best wishes for Friday.
Kathyx

Re: New and scared about my results this Friday!

Hi. Take each day as it comes. Once you've got results things will be clearer and you'll have a plan. I also found in the early days Bach Rescue Remedy drops helped to have a calming effect and made things a lot easier. Good luck Friday xx

Re: New and scared about my results this Friday!

Hi poemsgalore and juliemb, thanks for your responses. yes I did mean grade 1/2, that is biopsy results. i have tried deep breathing it just all spirals out of control the nearer I get to the hospital? But i will keep trying. I guess it's the shock and fear of what they will do next? Fear of the unknown? I will try to push the appointment to the back of my mind! i will give anything a go. I have avoided google, have a wonderfull daughter and sister who do all the reading. I was just going over the same line about 10 times, if I ask a question, they only tell me what I need to no. I will keep reading the posts, I was on here at 4 this am setting it all up and have spent the day reading more of the posts and it is helping, it has eased since then, middle of the night was really bad last night. More positive today, thankyou for the advice and juliemb good luck tomorrow! Will be thinking of you, love Sarah X

Re: New and scared about my results this Friday!

that post wasnt for julie - ive got a spot of chemo brain i reckon -
its to 45 the green room - soz
angie xx

Re: New and scared about my results this Friday!

hi julie
you just need to distract yourself as much as you can, phone your friends, chat to family, anything that will take your mind off it for a while. dont go to bed until you are tired enough to sleep, then you wont lay imagining all sorts of things.
its difficult waiting fo results but you have to actively seek out different ways to occupy your thoughts.
theres all of us on here too, we are happy to chat and listen.
hope this gives you something to work with, if you dont want to be public you can PM me if it helps.
ANYTHING you want to ask, we can help, dont worry if you think its something silly, we've all done it.
when you go on friday they will explain what they have found and how they are going to help you to recover properly. its not scary once you get in there.
hugs
angie xx

Re: New and scared about my results this Friday!

HI, I try to push all appts to the back of my mind until I am actually there, its hard but it makes it easier to cope if you can manage it. I am sat at work at the moment dreading tomorrow as I start my chemo, waiting for results is a nightmare as its the fear of the unknown like treatment and everything else. Explain at the hospital how scared you are as they understand and will be very gentle with you, love and hugs Julie xx

Re: New and scared about my results this Friday!

Hi
I think you must mean grade 1/2, the stage is an entirely different thing. If the grade remains one of those, that isn't too bad. although I realise you don't see it that way. Have you tried deep breathing? It can calm down panic attacks. Reading some of the uplifting posts on here also helps.
DO NOT GOOGLE!!! Just stick to this website and the Macmillan, although you have probably been told that before.
Sending you big hugs and best wishes for Friday, I hope all goes well with your results.

Poemsgalore xx

New and scared about my results this Friday!

Hi, I was diagnosed on wed 3rd July with stage 1/2 e rec cancer ( not very good with terms yet) my lump was under my nipple, had my operation last Tuesday 16th July, lost my nipple in operation and had reconstruction, lost 2 lymph nodes as well! I get my results this Friday 26th, I am terrified and every time I have to go to hospital don't no how I get there, I just want to run away from it all! Panic attacks, cant breath, dizzy, frightened. It's going to be a very long week! Does anyone have any ideas on how to cope in between appointments? and what I can expect on Friday? Xxx