Hi everyone. I’ve just signed up to this website today and have been busy reading everyone’s comments and experiences. There’s lots to take in! I was diagnosed with breast cancer on the 6th dec and am now waiting to have an MRI on the 28th. I did the crying and planning my funeral in my head the first few days after diagnosis and now am feeling very positive. I have been told I have stage 3 cancer and that it’s an active sort of cancer. I had a biopsy on a lymph node which came back clear and know that my lump is about an inch big. My surgeon has said that I will need surgery followed by chemo and radiotherapy and its all very scary. I feel like I need to keep smiling and cheery so that my daughters and husband don’t worry but I have days when I just want to sit in a corner and cry. I’m terrified of what’s coming but am reassured by some of the things I have read on here. Is it normal to feel so up and down and does anyone have any good tips for me? I’m 41 and feel that I still have PLENTY of good years in me yet so I’m not going down without a fight!
Hi neekie
Firstly, welcome to the forums, I am sure you will find it a great source of information and support.
I’m sorry to read of your diagnosis, the first few days and weeks are always difficult when coming to terms with things and getting to grips with your treatment plans, etc.
Whilst you are waiting for the other forum members to reply with their experiences you might find it helpful to order the BCC resources pack. It has been specifically designed for those newly diagnosed and contains information to help you better understand your diagnosis, test results and the various treatments available. If you would like to order a copy just follow the link bellow:-
Also, do give the helpline a ring if you need any further support or information. They’re on 0808 800 6000. Open 9-5 Monday to Friday and 10-2 Saturday.
Best wishes Sam, BCC Facilitator
Hi Neekie
There is certainly a lot to take in! I was diagnosed with BC on Monday, so am only getting my head around it now… although am not sure if you ever do! Emotions up and down like a yo yo! And at 51 there’s plenty of life left in me too! (Though if you’d seen me this morning… but hey…).
Just so you know - I have grade 3 IDC left breast… they reckon 1.5 cm so WLE and SNB,rads and tabs seem the order of the day, unless of course SNB not clear… then I’ll be going for chemo too.
Advice? Laugh at yourself - a sense of humour… WILL get you through… the other ladies in here will be along soon and will probably be more help than me… am only just starting my journey too! Was offered surgery on Christmas eve… but declined… for obvious reasons… appt will now come in the post… so there’s a certain amount of trepidation everytime the postie comes!!
You take care now… be nice to yourself… and be assured that we care. Sounds cliched I know… but hey, what can I say - am having a soppy moment (as opposed to the VERY wet one I had earlier today!).
Lozza x
Hi Neekie, you have come to a wonderful supportive site. Sincerely wish you did not have to join us but everyone on this site is very helpful. Two years ago almost to the day I was also planning my funeral (Diagnosed 15/12/10). I know it is the worst news ever but it is doable and at times you will think the opposite! I am sure you will be advised not to google too much and also accept help whenever offered. You will have blue days of course, but remember there is light at the end. I kept going for the sake of my family and had meltdowns on a number of occassions, We have to fight this devil. All the best and thinking of you… Adix
Hi Neekie
Yes, it is normal to feel very up and down. You’ll find a wealth of useful information on the threads, from tips on how to get through treatments, annoying things that people (non cancer people) say - you’ll soon get the gist of that, and the dark dark woods and benchland are very popular threads. Many people join a thread so there’s a number of you going through it at the same time and you can compare notes and support each other throughout.
When you say ‘stage’ 3, is that what you mean or ‘grade’ 3? I initially got this confused but have never been told my stage as my consultant doesn’t believe in saying that. I was grade 3, triple negative IDC with lympho vascular invasion, satellite tumours, main tumour 2.5cm, 5 lymph nodes involved and one with extra nodal extension. I started with WLE and axillary clearance, then mx followed by chemo and rads but being TN there’s no follow up treatment. Following treatment I had a major low just when everyone thought I should be on top of the world - you’ll find from various threads that this is also normal.
Definitely don’t Google, it doesn’t help. Stick to reputable sites like this, Macmillan, Cancer Research.
As others will tell you - this is the place to come and rant and vent those feelings that you feel you can’t with your family. The folk on the Forum understand and many will have been there before you. It’s a real lifeline when other people don’t understand you and your feelings and when you don’t want to share your dark, unhappy thoughts with them. I understand the planning your funeral bit but hopefully you’ll settle down and those very dark early feelings will begin to subside, particularly once you get started on treatment and can focus on getting through that. I’m not saying any of it is easy and waiting for tests, diagnosis and getting to the point of treatment is very hard. If you’re feeling very worried about anything do phone the BCC helpline as they are amazing at calming you down when you’re feeling very fearful. Better to talk than bottle things up and worry unduly - there’s often a really simple, sensible explanation for things that you won’t have thought of.
Try to do nice things and pamper yourself. Go for walks, or cycling, or whatever exercise you enjoy as this will really help - both physically and mentally. Get yourself booked early onto a Look Good Feel Better day, they’re very refreshing and do make you feel better but they get booked well in advance.
As Adi says, this is the time to let others look after you and accept whatever help is offered. Hopefully there’ll be others along to fill in whatever I’ve missed. RevCat is always good on the calming influence.
Take care and let us know how you’re getting along.
Flori
X
Hi neekie
I am also new to this site and starting FEC chemo on Dec31st,which is NOT good timing!!
Have had WLE for a 12mm grade 3 triple negative tumour,which is scary. SNB and margins were clear which is good but am quite worried about futurs recurrence.
Have found all you ladies on this site reassuring that I will get through the chemo although all the info they give you is quite daunting. ope to join in the having chemo in January thread.
He everyone manages to have a good Christmas
x
Hi Jf64
Welcome to the BCC discussion forums, you’ve come to the right place, as you will see, from the many informed users of this site. There’s always someone with good support and personal experience to help you along. As well as other forum users, our helpline staff are just a free phone call away with that added support, 0808 800 6000, lines open Mon-Fri 9-5 and Sat 10-2.
Take care,
Jo, Facilitator
Hi jf64
I also should be starting chemo on 31st. Have 48mm invasive ductal tumour negative for hormones. Surgery after chemo for me because of size.
Will be thinking of you
Wendy
Thanks for all your positive comments. I now have a date for the MRI (28th Dec) so it feels like I’m getting somewhere now. My Macmillan nurse came to see me this morning and I got to ask some more questions and get the answers. It is a grade 3, not stage 3, apologies Flori. This was all explained to me this morning and sounded scary but not a lot I can do about it really. The silver lining is that Im being offered a breast reduction at the same time as my surgery is done so that will be great! I’ve always wanted smaller boobs! Thank you for all your support and advice. It really has helped.
Hi Neekie - no apologies necessary. It’s just so hard to take in all the details when your mind is whirring. Yes, it is scary but fast growing cells are targetted by chemo and so you can actually view that as a positive thing, strange as it seems.
It’s great that you can see the positive side of the reduction - keep it up! Anything positive you can find really helps.
Best of luck with the rest of your treatment. Merry Christmas. The second part of 2013 you can devote to recovery and feeling better.
X
Hello, everyone. I am also new to this forum. This is my first attempt at participating in one of these, so please be gentle. I have been reading these for a couple of days and finally decided to jump in…how do I start?
Hi VonnieGirl - Just in case you’re checking this I’ve replied to your other ‘New to the site’ post but it doesn’t show in the latest replies. It just looks as though JoBCC has replied. I don’t want you to think you’re being ignored.
X