I’ve been reading the threads on here for a few weeks and thought it’s time I properly joined as I was told on Friday I have breast cancer.
It’s taken 8 weeks to get a diagnosis. The lump showed up on a CT scan I had for something else so I was referred to the Breast Clinic but sent away again because the Consultant couldn’t feel a lump so they wanted to look at the CT scan in their team meeting, which wasn’t for 2 weeks because of Easter. I then had a mammogram and then waited another couple of weeks before being called back for a compression mammogram and ultrasound and the radiologist took biopsies that day too. I got a phone call and letter a week later to come back to the Breast Clinic where I finally got told the news I was hoping I wouldn’t hear.
It’s been a long, long anxious wait and the appointment on Friday took hours, I saw the consultant, then the Breast Nurse then had a pre Op meeting. I’m booked in for a lumpectomy on 6th June. I then had to come home and tell my family and friends.
I feel like a split personality at the moment. I seem to be supporting everyone around me and being very positive and almost making light of it. Inside I have moments of sheer panic. I feel tearful and I’m dreading the treatment. I know that breast cancer is very treatable now but I feel like my life will never be the same again and it’s all happening so fast (finally) I haven’t had a chance to process it all.
I’m full of admiration for the people who post on here, I really hope down the line I am as positive and encouraging as them.
Wecome to our lovely supportive club here, even if we would prefer not to be here.
What you’re feeling is what all of us have experienced & of course you are still processing it all & yes, you will also come out the other side.
The early days of diagnosis are a shock, but it does settle down & feels much better when your treatment plan is in place & you start treatment. As ever, the prospect & apprehension is much was than the reality of treatment & it is quite usual for the anxiety monster to take hold at times when going through this, but it does pass.
Hi Basia
I can relate to exactly how you feel, as can the rest of the lovely ladies on here. I was diagnosed with BC on the 18th April after a routine mammogram. I have never felt as scared and alone even though I have fantastic friends and family. I posted on this forum and the positive messages from ladies who were going through the same as me made me feel so much stronger and more positive. And although I haven’t posted since I log on daily and feel so comforted by everyone. You will get through this, it will take time for the fear to settle and like everyone told me, once your treatment plan is in place it gets easier. Sending you a big hug xx
Hello and welcome to this lovely club, although as ann says it is not the one any of us would choose to belong to, but you will get loads loads of help and support on here.
It is early days yet and everything is going a pace meantime you are trying to take everything in and process it. Just take each day at a time, small milestones so that you are not thinking too far ahead to give yourself chance.
Boy do we all know that feeling of being positive in front of other people and cracking up inside, it is almost like a swan calm on the top but underneath paddling like made to keep going. I promise it will get better you just need to give yourself a bit of time.
Remember we are all here for you whether you want to ask questions, rant, rave cry whatever there will always be someone on here to help.
Hi Basia,
I know how you are feeling as went through the same. As you say the worst is supporting everyone but it is happening to YOU so make sure that everyone supports you and doesn’t only think about how they are feeling. MAKE them listen to your fears even if it upsets them because it is about you !
I wish you all the very best and will pay for you. If you want to you are more than welcome to message me privately if you want to chat. No matter when, and if I’m awake, I’ll reply.
Take care hun.
Jintz