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Newbie in early 30s

15 REPLIES 15
TigersGirlie
Member

Re: Newbie in early 30s

Hi Sian,

Again its not really nice having to Come on here but the support given from everyone is amazing

I was diagnosed with grade 3 invasive bc, I am 30 and it was a total shock. I am coming to terms with it all, again I had no option i n of freezing eggs or tissue. I was oestrogen and progesterone positive her2 negative, I will start chemotherapy in the next few weeks. I am in the warwickshire area, feel free to mail me if you want to talk through the chemo together

Victoria
smc78
Member

Re: Newbie in early 30s

I'm already on there and think i may have spoken to u there already. Is anybody else interested in going to the forum in Liverpool? I have emailed for more info and am awaiting a reply. 🙂 x
quinny
Member

Re: Newbie in early 30s

hi smc78 u can join the july thread there is lots of ladys on there that can help you thro this sending hugs xx im 42 with 8 children xx

Janet_BCC
Member

Re: Newbie in early 30s

Hi All

I just wanted to make sure you had seen this link to the Younger Women's Forum to be held in Liverpool. This is a free 2 day event for women aged between 20 and 45 within 3 years if diagnosis. It is a great way to meet and talk to people in a similar situation. Here is the link:

http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/community/forums/younger-women/liverpool-younger-womens-forum-28t...

Very best wishes

Janet

BCC Moderator

smc78
Member

Re: Newbie in early 30s

Thanks Francescap29.
I found the details of the next forum meeting yesterday and i'm really interested in going. I've already emailed for more details and am awaiting a reply. Great news and Congratulations on the wedding. Its lovely to hear positive stories like that and makes me feel like there is hope. 🙂 x
francescap29
Member

Re: Newbie in early 30s

Hi, a couple of things: if you get chance to go on a bcc younger women's forum I'd really recommend it. It's aweekend away in a hotel with women of fairly similar ages who have all had/are having treatment. I went at the end of 2009 when I was 29 and had just finished treatment the first time round and it wasbrilliant, I met loads of girls who I'm still in touch with now. Check the site, they're posting new ones all the time.

Secondly, it's totally possible to meet someone and find love again when you have/have had breast cancer. I broke up with my live-in boyfriend halfway through my chemo - he was lovely but I knew the relationship wasn't going anywhere so made the decision to leave. Unfortunately I was rediagnosed with new primary, and subsequent lung secondaries 6 months after my treatment had finished and have been on various chemo ever since, BUT I met someone in early 2011, was v honest about my situation and 6 weeks ago we got married, even despite my "prognosis" and I have never been happier. He has never been bothered about my reconstruction and neither am I now althiugh of course it was a big deal at the time so I know where you're at. Anyway I just wanted to share that to reassure you that a bc diagnosis doesn't mean the end of love, far from it, and while there are some men who are inevitably d1cks, my own experience has shown me its totally possible to be happy again.

Good luck x

Sandytoes
Member

Re: Newbie in early 30s

I was also told by my original surgeon that I couldn't have immediate reconsure to radiotherapybut I got a second opinion and saw a surgeon who was prepared to give me immediate recon with temporary expanders and delayed DIEP (tummy tuck!) recon. If you feel strongly about it, there are options and you have time to look into it.

smc78
Member

Re: Newbie in early 30s

I watched a video on the Embarrasing Bodies website of a woman having reconstruction and nipple tatoos and it did look amazing. The consultant told me last week that the surgeon will discuss the surgery at the time as to weather they do 1 boob or both and she also mentioned the words tummy tuck which lit up my face lol. The oncologist did say it would be a mastectomy and i could have reconstruction but not at the same time which upset me. The thought of walking around with 1 boob terrified me. I know there are good prosthesis and that no one but me would know but its still all about body image and how u feel about yourself. I am glad that i do have time to do a bit of research about surgery although i'm not quite sure where to start. I'm taking life 1 day at a time at the moment with regards to the bc, chemo and side affects. As for the break up my family and friends have been very supportive. It was only 6 weeks after the split that i 1st noticed the lump and i'm damn sure it wasnt there when we were together so who knows the stress of the break up could have harvested it although there is no proof that stress and cancer are linked. I havent really met anyone at my chemo sessions. I did get chatting to 2 ladies during the group therapy session, both were older than me by maybe 5-10 years or more. 1 woman looked so scared of chemo bless her. I'm not usually chatty with strangers but since this has happened i find myself wanting to talk to anyone who has had some kind of experience of bc so that i have some kind of idea as to what to expect myself. I also found researching things on the internet helpful. There are some scary things about bc or negative stories that i've tried to steer away from but i did a lot or research on the various scans i've been for and found that a god send. When i went for an MRI i didnt know i would have to lay on my front on the bed and didnt know what the machine looked like untill i looked it up. I got the book for my son of Amazon and of course found this site too.
hazza81
Member

Re: Newbie in early 30s

Hi,
Decided not to try the cold cap, didn't fancy being cold, my veins are bad enough! And I have to blow dry and straighten my hair to death to make it look half way decent!
Dont feel too bad 1 week after session, day 5 was the worst as I felt really really tired, just had to rest lots. Went to a wig fitting today, not that keen on any! Going back next week to try on more.
Your son will adapt, children are usually so good, my daughter is too young to have to explain anything, but she knows something isn't right.
The hardest thing is feeling quite isolated, as there is no one my age at chemo sessions etc. which is why I use this site so much!

I was not given the option of egg freezing, but I didn't want anything to delay my treatment. I have accepted that itis unlikely that I will have anymore children, which i am pretty gutted about, but I have to concentrate on getting through the chemo and doingwhat is best for my body.
I am so sorry you have to deal with bc and a heartbreaking break up so close together. You need the support of people who love you, and I hope you do.
Xox
Sandytoes
Member

Re: Newbie in early 30s

Oh no. I can't imagine having to deal with diagnosis and treatment whilst nursing a broken heart, but hopefully you have friends and family - and your gorgeous little boy to keep you going.
I'm married so don't have the worry of being intimate with someone new - but I was worried enough about hownut husband would deal with it. He's a boob man and I used to have a stonking pair, if I do say so myself!!! The only part of my body I was truly happy with. Until one of them tried to kill me. However, reconstruction is excellent nowadays and I am really happy with the results and my husband still seems to like my boobs. I had immediate recon with temporary expanders so haven't had my full recon or nipple tatoos yet so tend to stick to wearing sexy bras.
I met a young woman at a wedding who'd had breast cancer 7 years ago at the age of 26. She'd gone on to have 2 children (hurrah - love to hear of women going on to have babies) bit unfortunately got divorced a couple of years ago. She's back on the dating scene and is very proud of her body. She whisked me into a cubicle to show me her reconstruction and tatoo - and it looked fabulous.
Do you know what surgery you're going to have? If it could be a mastectomy, one advantage of having chemo first is that you can research surgery and recon options rather than being rushed straight into something you're not prepared for. The initial bit after diagnosis and during chemo is the worst. I was an emotional mess - the steroids didn't help. You just need to listen to your body and look after yourself and your son for the next few months - you probably won't feel like dating even if you were ready for it. And when you're feeling better hopefully you will meet the man you deserve.

X

smc78
Member

Re: Newbie in early 30s

Thanks for the reply Sandytoes.
I am a single parent but was offered the choice of egg feezing and although i am happy not having any more children i wanted to keep the option open in case i met someone down the line who wanted to have a child especially as i'm still young enough. On hearing that my bc was in 2 places in my left breast and lymph node cells were abnormal the nurse told me in a roundabout way that i should be gratefull for the child i have and get on with my treatment as chemo would have to be delayed while egg freezing was sorted out. It was shocking and upsetting to realise i could be having the choice of further children taken away from me but its all a matter of feeling i wasnt in control. I'm very happy with my decision now not to freeze eggs and get on with chemo and i know there are many women go on to have children after treatment plus there are ways around it like IVF, egg donation or even adoption so its not the end of the world. The way i looked at it was there was no point freezing eggs if i wasnt going to be here to use them! I also have anxieties about new relationships. I have only been single for 3 months after having my heart broken by the love of my life and would like to date again but feel that bc has gotten in the way especially with treatment at the moment. I am worried i wont feel the same for someone new as i did my ex and also have major concerns about how my body will change after surgery and having to talk about it and show it to a new partner fills me with dread. x
Sandytoes
Member

Re: Newbie in early 30s

Hi Sian,
I was diagnosed a year ago at the age of 33. I also had chemo before surgery, after which I had a bilateral mastectomyand radiotherapy. I have no children, but am hoping to in the future.
It is terribly scary and chemo's not much fun (although I found it much easier than I thought I would) but you will get through it and life will get good again.
Hope it all goes OK. Let us know if you have any questions or just need to let off steam or have a good cry.

X

smc78
Member

Re: Newbie in early 30s

Hi Claire.
I'm having 3x FEC and 3 x T. I felt fine up untill about 6pm last night then the nausea started and by half 9 i had been sick. I expected to feel nauseas but not so quickly. Have to say once i'd actually been sick i felt a whole lot better. I'm feeling really good today as well even though i had a broken nights sleep. I've been to the hospital again today for a CT scan and have managed to do some housework. I think the future plans for me are chemo 1st followed by mastectomy then possible radio. How are u coping with your chemo and balancing life with a little one? My son is doing really well. I got a fabulous book for him called My Mum's Got Cancer and it explains everything really cleary. He was concerned when i was sick last night but i reassured him it was normal and just side effects. I have chosen not to have the cold cap treatment, are u having that? I had my long hair cut into a chin length bob at the weekend in preperation for the hair loss and my son says he really doesnt like it so i think he will find it difficult to adjust to my baldness at 1st but i'm sure we'll deal with it as it comes. x
hazza81
Member

Re: Newbie in early 30s

Hi Sian,
I'm 31, was diagnosed with grade 3 bc at end of may. I have had wle and started chemo 11th July. Followed by radio then tamoxifen. I have a 20 month old daughter. Writing quickly as she is about to wake up! Feel free to message me, there are plenty of women also on the July chemo thread! You are not alone! Hope you feel ok after your first session, what are you on?

Xox claire
Lucy_BCC
Member

Re: Newbie in early 30s

Hi Sian and welcome to the BCC forums

In addition to the peer support you will soon have here BCC can offer you further support ideas such as our Younger women's forums and one to one support and you can read about these via the following link along with information which I hope you will find helpful:

http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/younger-women

our helpliners are also on hand with information, support and a listening ear on 0808 800 6000, lines open during the week 9-5 and Saturdays 10-2

Take care

Lucy BCC

smc78
Member

Newbie in early 30s

Hi all. I'm Sian and have just joined the site and would like to speak to anyone around the same age as me (33) to share experiences. I have an 11 yr old boy. I have grade 2-3 bc but am being treated as grade 3 due to my young age and that its already showing signs of spreading. I havent had surgery yet as i'm being treated with chemo 1st to stop the spread and shrink the growth. I had my 1st chemo yesterday (17th July). Hope to chat soon.