Newly Diagnosed and Terrified

[helen1971]

Hope all goes well today LMB212 and Kmk66. The waiting around is the hardest but just think positive. Today is the first step to being cancer free. Hugs xx

[Blossom Hill]

Hi Helen, youve acheived a lot in a very short time surgery home same day drains out couple of days later, WHOOOOOOOH, not surprised your feeling a bit weepy, Im balling me eyes out all over the place , thanks to pre op advice given by "Nurse of the year", and I havent had my surgery yet, like I said said we are entitled to feel as we do I dunno why we feel bad for feeling bad, no one wants to wear our badge do they?

Another long wait until the 7th, that date can't come quick enough for me Im hoping to come out aound 5th or 6th, mind you if that bloody nurse is on duty I may get asked to leave for telling her , well for telling her to Foxtrot Oscar away from me. 

Sending gentle hugs

Love Bloss XXX Blimey only 3 glasses to a bottle tonight

[LMB212]

Helen glad drain out. Emotions take over at times and I find a good cry is a good release. Had tramadol once knocked me sick and I nearly passed out. Am hoping I don't need too much pain relief . X

[LMB212]

Good Luck for tomorrow KMK. I am starting to get nervous. I am hoping this time tomorrow to be sat up in bed at my Mams watching TV and thinking that's the Op done and the bloody lump gone . Praying I get clear margins and no trace in my sentinel nodes. Hope I get some sleep tonight. I am dreading the gown and surgical stockings and getting put to sleep but I know it has to be done. Cried for the first time in a while today think the enormity of it all hit home. Lou x

[helen1971]

Nurse has just taken my drain out and I'm so glad it's gone. Pain now bearable. Tried tramadol but made me feel sick. I too have swelling under my arm which is very uncomfortable but nurse assured me that all Ok. Feeling very weepy today too. Long wait until my follow up on 7th March now xx

[LMB212]

Glad Op over Helen and you got home same day. Don't over do it x

[jane61]

Hi Helen, I'm glad your surgery went well. I had my op Tues and came home Weds. I've been back twice with swelling under arm pit. Doctor looked again today but I'm told it's a blood clot, tissue and bruising which will settle down. Wish I could fast forward a couple of weeks. Trying to do my exercises but it's stiff and painful.Hope the level of pain gets better quickly for you xx

[Sarahkears73]

Hi, I was the same with the drain and the pain, my GP quickly changed me from codeine to tramadol, every 6 hours with paracetamol, even in the middle of the night. Made a massive difference, much more cop able. May be worth asking, love Sarah xx

[helen1971]

Afternoon ladies. My surgery went well and I came home the same day. In a lot of pain today and have a drain in so waiting for district nurse to come. Wasn't quite prepared for the level of pain and I also feel very bruised and battered. Glad this part is over now and now need to prepare for chemo etc. Hope everyone's surgery went well. X

[SLou296]

Good luck for tomorrow Helen, I can assure you it won't be as bad as you fear xx

[Blossom Hill]

Hi Helen, just sending kind thoughts to you for wednesday, good luck

Love Bloss XXX

[Blossom Hill]

Hi Slou, what a lovely message, youve made me feel better, love the grown up V the little girl, I'm gonna adopt that thought Thank You, glad its all going ok you sound as if taking control has helped, It helped me to when I told em I wasn't having any lumpectomy I wanted mine removed, just gotta tell myself that now as operation is scarily near, I no its the right thing to do though.

Sending hugs

Bloss XXX

[helen1971]

Morning ladies and thanks for all your encouraging replies to my original post. Wednesday is D - Day for me and although I am scared I can't wait for the cancer to be removed. I'm a little apprehensive about the dcis being left behind but I know the chemo and rads will kill it all. Already got my follow up appt for 7 March. Still not sleeping well and appetite poor. Hope I will feel better after Wednesday. Good luck to you all with your upcoming surgery. We can and we will fight this together!!!!!

[LMB212]

Thanks KMK . It's the pits . I don't know whether I am coming to terms with it as I haven't cried for a while I am managing to sleep and my appetite as come back. It's so sureal children and hubby getting on with stuff and treating me no different. I feel fine save for a cough I have caught from the people at work. I am off this week for half term so running around after 3 children and the dog should keep me busy. This time next week will be the day before the Op so fingers crossed won't be in a blind panic. Keep in touch and best of luck with the Op Lou x

[Kmk66]

Hi Lmb

my lumpectomy is also on the 22nd.........2 days after my big 50th birthday and birthday bash! Timing is not great for us is it?! I delayed my surgery to get birthday out the way as I was due surgery last Friday (12th). Think concentrating on the party has kept me sane however but in saying that I've been awake all night thinking the "invader" could have been gone by now if I hadn't delayed. The mental anguish for all us ladies in these waiting periods is horrendous. Some days I am really strong and other days I'm a complete wreck. I've even cried on my boss and trust me he is the most inhuman person you could meet lol. Good luck for a week on Monday xxx

[Hayley9699]

Hi Sarah, thank you for your reply. It has made me feel so much better. It's fantastic to hear how well you are doing. (High five)
This morning I called a hair salon and spoke to the manager who was very kind and understanding. On Thursday I am going in to have my long hair cut into a short bob. She reassured me telling me that the wings are very good and she had several women come into her salon suffering with BC. I'm not really excited about Thursday

Lots of love to you all

Hayley

[DizzyDee]

I agree with Lou Wle and snb nowhere near as bad as i was expecting too. I thought my boobs would never be the same again and i would have to cover up for the test of my life. Silly i know but you do worry at the start. My surgery boob looks better than my other boob!!! Its all perky and will never sag. My surgeon said shed do the other one if it sags with age later. I'm 45 and quite small in the breast area. Sending you all hugs xxx

[LMB212]

You sound very positive Sarah thanks for the post it had made me feel better. My surgery is 22nd Feb for a central excision lumpectomy and removal of senital nodes. Goodbye and good bloody riddance to the alien invader oh and my nipple. Once the lump is out I think I will feel a lot better. Good luck with your treatment keep us updated. Lou x

[SLou296]

Hi Ladies

I was diagnosed with Invasive Lobular cancer at the beginning of December following an early screening Mammogram and I totally understand the whirlwind of emotions you are going through.  I had MRI scans and further biopsies (due to it being lobular) and a lumpectomy and SNB on 22nd December (which wasn't as bad as I expected) and I really felt ok after - just a bit tired and emotional but hardly surprising really, I don't think my feet touched the ground during that time - the MDTs really do move quickly to get this thing sorted for us. 

Because of Christmas & New Year, I had quite a wait for my post surgery results but when I got them the nodes and margins were all clear.  The biopsy came back that my cancer was her2+ so chemo and Herceptin as well as rads and Tamoxifen recommended - I came out of that appointment pretty low -wasn't expecting that !!

Well, it didn't take me long to decide that I was going to do everything I could to bolt the door on this unwanted lodger and on Wednesday I had my first chemo (FEC-T x 6)  It was OK - nowhere near as bad as I was expecting and, 4 days on I feel great.  

Didn't cold cap (couldn't face it to be honest) so I've had my shoulder length curly hair cut into a trendy cropped cut (which everyone thinks looks fab - might be a good style for when it grows back!) and I've got a wig (which is very like my hair when I spend AGES straightening it) with some lovely highlights. Now looking at other headwear for everyday - not sure I'll want to wear my wig all the time but the main thing is that I've taken control of the situation and it has made me feel much better about it.  

The emotions of the last few weeks have now changed to positive ones and I'm doing OK - you ladies will too.  My advice (for what its worth) from what I've gone through in the last few weeks - Don't overthink everything, talk to others who have been through (or are going through this) be honest with loved ones about how you are feeling and focus those thoughts in a positive direction.  

It's scary stuff but make sure that the grown up on the outside tells the little girl inside that its going to be ok - it is doable and we can do it.

Hugs to you all Sarah xx

[Hayley9699]

Hi thanks for your reply. It's really encouraging to read how well your doing. I am new to this web site and using it from my phone, hence the short messages. Is there any way we can send private messages on here? Or exchange emails? It would be so good to talk to someone. X

[DizzyDee]

Hello newly diagonsed girls,
I can so relate to your fear. I was diagonsed jan last year with geafe 2 ILC. Had wle was suggested chemo after surgery cos tumour quite big 58mm but no nodes involved and not in bloodstream. It improved my survival by 3% so I chose not to have it. I live alone and like you didnt want to go theough losing my hair for 3%?when Tamoxifen alone upped my odds considerably. You most definitely are NOT selfish to worry about losing your hair. You go though enough. Each case is different but your oncs will give you a choice about your treatment. I am now on monthly injections of Zoladex for a 'belt and braces' approach and tamox and i'm doing fine. I had life long phobia of surgery and my surgeons and anathestist cured me of it. I still take the anti depressant Citalopram and the day before and day of my operationi took Dizaepam. It really did the trick and now my fear is gone. I was so scared when first diagonsed but girls it does get better. You will appreciate life in a whole new way when u get through this. Hugs Dee xxx

[helly18]

Hi helen, so sorry that you gave found your way here but the forum is such a great place, I was also diagnosed  1st Feb with grade 2 idc and having surgery  24 the anxiety and fear is crippling at times. I have 10 year old twins, had booked to go away in August and looking at doing something  fab for our silver wedding next year now I am just trying to get through each day at a time. Good luck xxx

[Hayley9699]

Hello Helen, I am sorry to hear of your news. I have been diagnosed with grade 2 BC and I am 32. I am numb with fear and like you every so worried about losing my hair. I know it sounds selfish, but for me it's my identity. I am also going to try the cold cap. I'm here if you wish to talk. Big hugs xx

[LMB212]

Hi Helen I was diagnosed 1st Feb with a grade 3 IDC. Had biopsy of lymphs nodes Tuesday as radiologist had noted enlarged lymph node when he did biopsy of the lump in breast. Told unofficially Friday by nurse that the lymph nodes are just a reaction so I have taken that to mean no cancer in nodes. Have lumpectomy 22nd Feb day after my birthday. Roller coaster of emotions from numbness anger emotional wreck why me etc. Everyone telling me I am strong I will get through this. I turn 45 on the 21st married 3 beautiful children 14, 12 and 10. Amazing family friends and work colleagues but I am so scared the dark side appears to have taken over me. I am not sure re treatment yet as initial consultant said radiotherapy but then his registrar mentioned chemo. X

[helen1971]

Hello ladies. I was diagnosed on 27th Jan with grade 3 invasive ductal carcinoma and dcis in left breast plus its Her2 positive. My breast conserving surgery is 17th February followed by chemo and herceptin. I have the most horrific needle phobia so I am dreading what's to come. My best friend went through this two years ago so I know what to expect but not sure if that's actually a bad thing as it's maybe making me more anxious. I'm also terrified of losing my hair during chemo so will definately be trying the cold cap. Good look to you all with your upcoming surgery. X