Was diagnosed Thursday 10th November with Invasive Ductal Cancer also in my lymph nodes…feeling quite vulnerable at the moment…finding it hard to speak to family and friends as don’t want to upset them, when I speak to my husband I get upset…he does not like seeing me upset and in a calm voice tells me to stop crying.
I have held in the tears for this reason but feel like I am about to explode
Any tips would be appreciated
sorry for the rant on my first ever post x
Heck. Welcome from me. No-one wants to be here, but there’s lovely people and very good info on the site for most people.
I’m baffled about your hubby. Why aren’t you supposed to cry? It’s a very natural and very human reaction to all of this. So is denial, anger, etc. It’s all absolutely totally normal.
Might be worth ringing the helpline here and talking to the nurses - they don’t mind who cries.
And your breast care nurse should be a good source of support too.
Modern treatments are very good and the odds of success are high, but that’s no consolation at the start when we’re in a right old panic.
Ann x
Hi Julie and welcome to the BCC forums
In addition to the valuable support you will continue to receive here I am posting a link to the BCC ‘diagnosis’ webpage which contains various support ideas such as our helpline as Ann has kindly suggested. You will also see links to our publications and you can read or order which ever you feel will be helpful to you at the moment:
breastcancercare.org.uk/diagnosis
Take care
Lucy
Hi Julie
Like you this is also my 1st post and like you I have just been recently diagnosed with breast cancer. Its been 2 wks since I’ve found out. Im only 34 and just had a baby 12 wks ago. Im absolutley devastated by the news but the 1st week was the worst. Think I spent most of it in tears. Not that it’s any easier now but think I’ve got over the shock of it. I start my chemo in 2wks time so its all happening so fast. Think family & friends can only really say positive things but it doesnt change the fact. Hope you are ok x
Julie I agree with ann that it’s normal to cry or to rant or to scream or to laugh hysterically… Maybe hubster needs to do a bit of the crying and screaming… He might find speaking to the peeps on the bcc helpline helpful too as they are there for families too.
Maybe if he’s not around you need to go and have a cry and tell him your not gonna cry for ever it’s just a shock and you need to get it out of your system and not bottle it up.
Tracy good luck with your treatment too… And congrats on the birth of you baby.
Take care both of you
Lulu xxxx
Welcoem to the forums Tracy
Please feel free to access the information links I have posted to Julie earlier tonight and do use our helpliners if you need further support, information or a listening ear at any time.
Take care
Lucy
thank you ladies …this has helped
Tracy will be thinking of you x x hope your treatment goes well x x
Hi Jules/ Tracy
I was diagnosed on the 4th and was in a state of shock for most of that weekend. I spent most of that time in tears. i looked at this site for several days, reading the inspirational stories, before posting a comment. The support from others on here is fantastic. i decided to tell my friends because Im an emotional person ( i can cry at an advert) and i knew i’d have those sort of days. My friends ( or most of them ) have been great. I hope there is someone that you can find to talk to. If not come on here, we are all in the same place. i have also started to write a diary of my thoughts and experiences. My BC nurse has also been great , ive cried on the occasions ive seen her too. Im booked for my op on the 29th but have to have a MRI first. the waiting time leaves you in a sort of limbo, (is it happening to me??) Take care and hope all goes well .
Gill x
Hi Jules & Tracy
Sending you some warm ((HUGS)). Dont ever feel like you have to bottle up tears - everyone of us has cried, weve been angry, mad, upset, despondent hopeful etc etc…the whole emotional scale.
I was Dx’ed in September this year and i still cry about it…yes I hold it together most of the time and especially around others because thats what we do…spare others feelings despite our own because we are all nurturers. Ive travelled some dark roads, I eat, breathe and sleep BC , I go to bed with it on my mind, and I wake with it on my mind, if i wake during the night its the first thing I think of…but every day i get better, just a little, but I do get better. I didnt believe everyone when they said I would, I didnt believe everyone when they said that once my treatment starts somehow I will feel a sense of release of the anxiety - but its true…so very true. I did start to feel better…I still have BC, but its being dealt with.
We are one huge community on here…all at different stages in treatment but you can bet no matter how you feel one of us will pick up the pieces when some days we just cannot get it together and we start thinking negatively…it happens…but i owe so much to the community in here to give back what I have received.
You will both be OK…just stay with us and we will all carry you through.
God Bless xxxx
Pre op booked for next tuesday…Surgery booked for the 9th December full mastectomy and lymph nodes to be removed will have my results 10 days later on further treatment needs …decided to take my xmas pressie early and am going to a recording studio next saturday to make some poor unsuspecting peoples ears bleed…think I may make xmas dinner early too…
Feeling more positive reading everyones posts on here
Thanks ladies x x