Newly diagnosed

Hi everyone, I have just been diagnosed with breast cancer and am waiting for my op - 29th June. It has taken me a while to comes to terms with this thing that has invaded my body and I just want it out. I am trying to be positve but am scared - not of the operation but the chemo and radiotherapy that comes after. It is the ’ unknown '. I have a wonderful group of friends who are a great support and my youngest son has been a tower of strength, making sure he has been with me for all my appointments. I am having trouble telling my eldest son…but is there ever a good time ??

Hello Moses

Welcome to the forums. You’ve come to the right place for support as many of the users of this site have a wealth of information and experience between them.

While you are waiting for replies could I suggest that you give our free helpline a ring on 0808 800 6000 and have a confidential chat with one of the breast care nurses who are here to support you through this, lines close at 2.00pm today and are open to Monday to Friday 9.00 – 5.00 and Saturday 9.00 – 2.00.

best wishes
June, moderator

Hi Moses

Sorry you had to join us but this is a great place for advice and support. I’m just out the other side of treatment and, although its not pleasant, it is doable. Treatment effects us all in different way; I breezed my first chemo but was floored by the second. I sailed through rads. Please keep us posted and ask away if you have any questions

Hugs

Julia xx

Hello Moses
sorry that you have had to join us, we all know how hard this journey is at the beginning and I’m sure there will be lots of people on here offering support.
As Julia says, the treatment isn’t easy but it is doable and its amazing how the time goes and you find yourself at the other end of it.
In terms of telling your children - I know that is really tough - all I can say is that the first time I was diagnosed, the longer I left telling people the harder I built it up to be, so found it easier the second time to just say it out loud.
I hope things go well for you
take care
monica x

Hi Moses
I can def sympathise.You are going through one of the hardest parts of the journey at the moment, just waiting to get it out. I am sure you will feel alot better once you know it has gone.
Try to take it one step at a time.Concentrate on your surgery and recovering from that before you look to far ahead. It is very easy to fixate too much on certain parts of the treatment too soon.Good luck debx

Hi Moses,

sorry that you have had to join this club. My oldest son is 5 the youngest 2 and it was difficult telling the oldest. however we decided to be honest in 5 year old terminology as he gets anxious if i am away and he does not know what happening. Also we thought if we were talking about the cancer he would pick up that we were talking in secret.

We used a publication from this website called “Mummys Lump” not everything was suitable fro the 5yo however we were able to use the pictures as to how i would look. i believe you can use it for children upto secondry school.

we are all here to help one another so just come talk, laugh, cry , rant and rave at whatever time of day someone will always b here

Louise

Hi Moses,
It is very hard coming to terms with bc, not sure you ever come to terms with it, but we learn to accept, and give each other a lot of support, as you will see.
So hard knowing how to tell the family, l am in agreement with Monica, the longer you leave it the harder it is.
I had my sons (33 and 35) with me when l was diagnosed, so l didn’t have that problem, didn’t have to tell my husband, he could tell by my face, probably the hardest one for me was my 90 year old Mum, yes that was very hard.
I think as your youngest son knows the sooner you tell your eldest son the better, would be awful if he found out through someone else, not sure if your friends know?
As for the chemo and radio!! one step at a time, have you been told you are having chemo and radio?
Once you have the op (lump or mx?) your breast care nurse and surgeon will go through everything with you, and when and if you meet the oncologist, everything will be explained, so as l say, one step at a time…op first
Keep in touch
Hugs
Sandra x

Hi Moses

You have done the right thing by joining us. There is just so much information and support available. I didn’t join until post-rads - oh, if only I had joined sooner.

I agree about the Help Line. The nurses are wonderfully supportive and informative. And I do think one of the keys here is information. You need to know which questions to ask. I realise that many people are happy to be guided by their doctors, ie what the doctor says, I will do. However, I was not; and much of what I wanted to know (in detail) was only given if I asked the right questions. Both Breast Cancer Care and MacMillan provide very helpful booklets and fact sheets to help you with this, if you want to know more about your diagnosis and your treatment.

Re treatment, clearly I do not know what your surgeon has told you about the possible size of the lump; and what he/she has advised. However, the dreaded word “chemo” is not always a given. My surgeon talked chemo right from the word go. I had a lumpectony plus removal of 2 nodes - one was positive. Second op axillary clearance - rest all clear. Surgeon still says must have chemo’; and I am freaking out man for 2 more weeks. BUT when I go to see the oncologist, who has fed my data into the “Ajuvant Database” (gives stats on percentage benefits of chemo and rads), guess what I didn’t need chemo!!! I needed 15 rads; but whith that I was happy.

Don’t know if this has helped.

Linky

Hi Moses,

So sorry you have had to join us. I have 3 children all aged 7 and under and only really sat down with the older 2 (5 and 7 at the time) with the Mummy’s Lump book. My little girl is far too young to understand at 3yrs, but still thought it funny all the same when I lost my hair!

Once you have your op and treatment plan I really hope it goes quickly and as smoothly as possible for you.

Paula xxxxxx

hi all,feelingvery nervous never joined a forum before.I hade a WLEand somelymph nodes removed for testing. Have to go back tohospital next week for results. Before hand doctor said i had a 2.5 tumour (mucinous) grade 2 cancer not sure what to expect next - has anyone had a similar experience

Hi samsgirl and welcome to the BCC forums

I am sure you will soon receive lots of support and information here from your fellow users, in addition, I have posted the link to our ‘New resource’ pack which you may find helpful to read, it has been designed for anyone newly diagnosed:

breastcancercare.org.uk/healthcare-professionals/publications/quick-order-list/*/changeTemplate/PublicationDisplay/publicationId/82/

You may also find our helpline useful to call, the lines are open 9-5 weekdays and 9-2 Saturday on 0808 800 6000, here you can speak to someone in confidence, ring up for a listening ear or further information about all aspects of breast cancer.

Hope this helps.

Take care
Lucy

Hello Moses,
I’m sorry that you have had to join us on here. I’m sure you will get lots of help and support from everyone as we all do, we prop eachother up at a time when we need it, and it’s good to be able to talk to people who are going through the same things. I’ts a good place to have a chat about things that family and friends can’t quite understand, as we can, because most of us here have been told that we have bc at various levels.Keep in touch with everyone as we are all here for eachother.
Samsgirl, I have had similar dx as yourself and I had a WLE and SNB on 12/5 it took a while to get my results back (3 weeks) but it was well worth the wait,as they found clear margins and clear SNB I am now waiting for my app with the onc to sort out my rads and tablets, the outcome, hopefully is much better than I expected so I await my next step of my journey, good luck with yours, hope this helps.

Best wishes to all,

Isabelle xxx

Hi Moses and samsgirl welcome to this great support site. Sorry that you have had to join us, but I think you will be glad that you did.

I have now finished active treatment and my hair is beginning to grow back I too was terrified of chemo, but I managed quite well really. I had 3 FEC and 3 Tax and am here to tell the tale. It’s really not as bad as you may think, although is pants!!, and the time really will have shot past when you look back.

Good luck with any treatment you may have.

Love and hugs. Debbie. xx