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Nobody wants to talk about it

20 REPLIES 20
dotchas
Member

Re: Nobody wants to talk about it

Thats great news Adele,

Go celebrate!

Dot
xx

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Nobody wants to talk about it

I finally got some good news for a change! the surgeon told me that all the tissue they removed was clear of cancer! I am so relieved! Everyone was so emotional last night and some admitted that they just hadn't known what to say to me so they simply kept away. Its still sinking in.

Wish you all could feel the same as I do right now, I feel almost guilty at having such good news when alot of you are really going through it right now. Good luck to all of you.

Adele.x

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Nobody wants to talk about it

Hi Everyone,

I have decided not to tell my family everything. My Dad is a terrible worrier and cant eat or sleep and tends to hit the bottle a bit if I am not too well or waiting for test results etc. My Nan who is a spritely 95 worries herself sick and also my Mother-in-law gets very upset. She called my Sister-in-law in tears a few weeks ago because I had a small nose bleed!!

I can tell my OH and my friends everything so I,m not alone with this. I have a few BC friends who are always there for me and me for them. And of course we all have our cyber pals on here.

Lots of love Andrea xx

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Nobody wants to talk about it

Hi everyone, Ive been off line for several weeks, had 2 change phone no, and it took tiscali bouta month to sort it out. After 2nd chemo last month (TAC) was feeling sick and lethargic for 1st 8/9 days took a while to 'recover' and mostly stayed in bed, couldnt eat struggled to drink, but never mind, have had 3rd one last thurs, week feeling s..t and am now not too bad, even did the ironing this am. No.4 on 25th, I hope. The way food tastes I should have lost loads of weight.... so whats gone wrong!!! It really hurts to hear how you are all going through this cra. I'm old enough 52, to be a mum to most of you, so lots of love and hugs to everyone who needs one, one day we will all just be able to read 'BACK' on this site and support those who are behind us, knowing we have got through to the other side.

take care,
Chris (dipstick)

dotchas
Member

Re: Nobody wants to talk about it

Hi Adele,

Glad to hear your ops over. hope the multicoloured boob gets better soon!

I am sorry that you are finding people are keeping away.I have found that with certain people (OHs family!) but others have really rallied around and supported me.
Thing is,the longer they stay away the more awkward it is for everyone,and I have enough going on without worrying about feeling awkward!
I do hope you have some support around you.My Mum is not here either and I miss her so much.
You are right,there are people worse off than you but remember this is happening to you and its a big trauma in YOUR life,so take care!
Hugs
Dot
x

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Nobody wants to talk about it

Wish I had my mum to talk to and give me a big hug!

Got through the op ok, not too sore although I have a very multicoloured boob. Luckily didn't have to have a drain.

Go to get my stitches out and get the results next thursday so now its just a waiting game. Will try and keep as busy as possible. Just keep thinking to myself that there are some people in a much worse situation than me.

People are still keeping away but i do understand why.

Adele.x

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Nobody wants to talk about it

Hi My Mum was diagnosed on the 20th august with a grade 3 invasive carcinoma.
She hasnt even looked at her Pink Pack.
we dont talk about it at all.
Personally i like to talk about things and share my worries.My mum is the complete opposite. She keeps it all tucked up inside her, and just gets on with it.

If this is her way of dealing with it then i have to respect that.....

My dad is not coping well with it at all ..........He is the weepy one.

anon1
Member

Re: Nobody wants to talk about it

adele like u i have diverticulotis and that isnt easy either i suffered really bad until i changed my diet, exercised more and it has settled quite a bit. im 32yrs old and as u r aware the menopause is awful especially without the help of hrt. its so difficult at times and its hard to stay positive aswell. i have a few people in family now with cancer and although i have faulty gene and they are family i can also feel awkward speaking about cancer as its such a difficult subject and its not that people dont care but i think people will be scared of upsetting you if they speak about it. i have learnt to talk,talk and talk again as it helps so much. these forums are amazing as people always want to support you on them. just bear in mind although it might not feel like it you aren't alone and people here will help. x

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Nobody wants to talk about it

Hi anon1,

I have just turned 47. I had the oophorectomy because i had an ovarian cyst Had a hysterectomy 10 years ago so they had to reopen that scar so was another major op.
Its been a horrible year! I also had to have a sigmoidoscopy and barium enema after suspicious findings on my bowel when I had an ultrasound for the ovarian cyst. Turns out I also have Diverticulitis. I just thought I had really bad IBS!
Things can only get better. Hope you are not suffering too much with the menopause.

Adele.x

anon1
Member

Re: Nobody wants to talk about it

hi adele,
i am very sorry to hear your terrible news i also had my ovaries taken out 3weeks ago and thrown straight into the menopause. do u mind me asking what age u are? i haven't had cancer my operations was for preventative. i will have mastectomy in a few months and was told the drains can be sore coming out but they can give you something for the pain beforehand i checked that out as i thought the drains being taken out my stomach were really painful. ur head must be alll over the place at the moment i know im struggling and am nowhere near dealing with half as much as u. x

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Nobody wants to talk about it

Thank you for all your support.

I am a little better, did some major retail therapy and had all my hair cut off! Going for my pre-assessment today ready for next tuesday.

I did try ringing the support line that the hospital gave me to ask afew questions but got an answering machine!

I was wondering what sort of bra I should wear after the op and if I have a drain will it hurt when they take it out? The consultant said it wasn't like having the ones in my tummy removed but is she just saying that?!

Adele.

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Nobody wants to talk about it

Hi Grabby, it is a rollercoaster and yes we have all been there and know how you are feeling right now, but you will come through this. I have just had my second chemo yesterday and it is as they say on here doable. Take care ask questions all our friends on here will answer if possible and if not still know how to help you feel better love junieliz

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Nobody wants to talk about it

Hi Grabby

I am sorry you have had to join us. You are in the right place though to get help and support and to talk about your condition. I am new to this, I have my op today (this afternoon) and I have been through all the emotions, crying all the time, depressed and also the highs, which I am on now as I am having the cancer removed today. Then depending on the results, hopefully clear margins and nodes, I will have rads and possibly chemo. I don't know much about 'radial scar' but I guess you will find out more when googled. I will let you know how my lumpectomy goes so that you are prepared for yours on 9 Sept. You'll find its the waiting that is worse.

I told all my friends and family and I find that talking about it is by far the best way of dealing with it. I have told them every single detail, about the three biopsies and mri and of course will go into detail about the op. It may take some of them some time to come round, but they will and will be there to support you like we all will.
Take care
Netty xxxxx

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Nobody wants to talk about it

Hi Grabby

So sorry that you are having to go through this too. People in general are very loathe to talk about cancer, but I think it's a two way process. When my boss was diagnosed with a terminal cancer 15 years ago, he continued working. We all made the mistake of not "mentioning" it as we were afraid to upset him. He always came back to work as soon as he could after chemo, and one morning he was obviously feeling so grotty that I dared to mention his cancer and treatment. He was so pleased and relieved that someone would talk about it with him and we continued to discuss it right up to the end.
When I was dx, I was determined that I would initiate the conversations, and was very upfront about everything; many friends were then happy to talk to me about it and still are. Unfortunately you will find though, that some people just can't. You'll certainly find out who your real friends are.
Best of luck with your treatment

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Nobody wants to talk about it

hi i also had my ovaries out 7 weeks ago and i think you have alot on your plate to deal with, im emotionally unstable at the moment to say the least

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Nobody wants to talk about it

I do remember reading about radial scars and how it is difficult sometimes to distinguish them from breast cancer. I had sclerosing adenosis as well as invasive cancer, this is another condition which sometimes masks cancer. Try googling 'radial scar' and something is likely to come up

Mole

rachy7
Member

Re: Nobody wants to talk about it

Hi grabby, diagnosed way back in February 14th to be procise.BC is a scary journey and some people cannot deal with uit at all !!! I am so sorry you feel bsd - i remember it well ! No one knows the feelings we have after diagnosis - it is so scary. I am 2.5 cm grade 3 diagnosis and had 8 chemo and starting rads. I have stareted to get my head round it all but do suffer depression someteimes. Bestb of luck adele

RACH

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Nobody wants to talk about it

Hi Adele,
Sorry you have had to join us.
At least you are in the system and if there is cancer lurking they will be able to catch it really early.
When I got diagnosed I didn't have a choice I had a full radical mastectomy and full ancillary clearance. I didn't even fell ill. I presented with a lump under my apmpit and low and behold it had already spread to my lymph nodes. But hey two and a half years on I am now getting on with my life but those early days were dark - I too was very weepy. The kids were and still are my Life. I was also lucky enough to have a fantastic hubby who has supported me through. You just need to let your feelings out - if people avoid you then ok , thats there problem you have enough to deal with right now and you should try and talk to your friends and family , but they wont really understand!!
Talk to the Ladies on here because they know exactly how you are feeling. I too was and still am really really scared but as time goes on you learn to live with this bl**dy cancer. Fight it!!
You will be surprised how much of a difference it makes if you are strong.
There are lots of lovely ladies on here that will be able to answer any questions you may have and you will also find lots of support.
A BIG>>to you.
Keep yr chin up, come on girl
Take Care and pls let me know how you get on.
Love
Tracey
xxxx.

Louise_BCC
Member

Re: Nobody wants to talk about it

Hi grabby

Welcome to the Breast Cancer Care discussion forums. I wondered if you may find BCC's resource pack helpful, it has been designed for those newly diagnosed. If you would like a copy just follow the link below:

http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk//content.php?page_id=7514

You also say that you would like to talk about your diagnosis and wanted to say that if you feel you need to talk to someone in confidence then please give the helpline a call, the staff here are all either breast care nurses or people who have personal experience of breast care issues and are happy to just lend a listening ear and can offer valuable advice and support if neeeded. The number to call is 0808 800 6000 the lines open Monday to Friday 9am - 5pm and Saturdays 9am - 2pm.

I hope this is of some help to you.

Kind regards

Louise
Facilitator

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Nobody wants to talk about it

Aww Grabby,

So sorry you have had to join us here - but I'm sure you'll find lots of support, and answers to questions, with this community. People all have to come to terms with your news in their own way, and that includes yourself. I'm afraid I have no experience of the radial scar or anything like it - but I'm sure other people will post soon who are more knowledgeable.

You take care of yourself - you'll get there
Sue xx

Guest user
Not applicable

Nobody wants to talk about it

Hello, I'm new here.

I have been having various tests - mammograms, ultrasound, core biopsy and thought I had the all clear 10 days ago and then last Thursday I actually saw the consultant at my local breast clinic and she said that I may have breast cancer after all! I am going to have a lumpectomy on 9th sept. This came as a huge shock!

I had told all my friends and family that everything was ok.

The problem now is that nobody wants to talk to me about it - as if its some taboo subject and if they don't mention it it will go away!

But I really need to talk about it because I am so scared, feeling weepy and can't sleep at night. I am only 7 weeks post op from having both my ovaries removed so I have also gone headlong into the menopause which I don't think is helping!

The consultant thinks I have a 'Radial Scar' and that there could be cancerous cells lurking behind or next to it. Has anyone else had this?

Adele.