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Not coping well with waiting!


Re: Not coping well with waiting!

Hi janA just wondering how you are doing?


 I’m in the same boat as you I found a lump that the doctor described as mobile too. I’m struggling with the wait now that the day is nearly here.

My appointment for the clinic is tomorow. And although I’m sure there will be nothing to worry about I’m a bit anxious about it now. 


Have  you got your appointment date through yet? Hope you are well enough? It’s not a great thing to be having to go through.



Re: Not coping well with waiting!

Sorry to hear about your experiences with your partner & work, Moobs. 

Maybe she's reacting like that due to feeling fearful about it all & is lashing out, although it's certainly not helpful for you. You are not alone with this issue with partners, sadly, there are others here whose partners have not coped that well with it all. 

Hopefully, all will be well, it usually is & do come & chat or vent if you need to. 

Also, if you want to, let us know how you get on. 



Re: Not coping well with waiting!

Im a bloke awaiting results there is breast cancer in my family 

im glad you can confide in your husband

Im in a dilema because if I talk or explain things to my female partner

because I need a mate 

she gets all aggressive towards me and uncaring and makes me feel unsupported 

she just doesnt want to know?

its like when i went for a heart operation and was worried she was really nasty towards me


I just cant fathom it why she is  like it to me ? 

Maybe she isnt a caring person but I would bend over backwards to or help anyone in my position 

saying that my work are uncaring to when my sales fiqures are low ive explained why but there not interested they want to sack me

I looked after my Mate with asbestos cancer til the very end? 

Sometimes you just have to soldier on by yourself i suppose and look after number one


Re: Not coping well with waiting!

Thanks for your comments, Jan.
Glad you've discovered the google problem! It's a wonderful thing, but any search on breast symptoms will lead to bc, when most often its not, so creating a load of unnecessary extra anxiety which changes nothing.
It helps to carry on as normal whilst waiting & to try & park it until the appointment.
It's also quite usual to think it's grown, but it hasn't, it's just the anxiety monster & the constant prodding we start doing!
From my own experience, I much preferred to share everything with my husband, it's natural to feel we want to protect others, but it helps to share the wait too.
Do let is know how you get on.
ann x

Re: Not coping well with waiting!



I echo completely what ann has said. 


Yep we all know that "google" experience and it scares the * out of us, there is sooo much out of date and misinformation out there.


Let us know how you get on and we are always here for you


Helena xx

Re: Not coping well with waiting!

Thanks Ann. I think I made the mistake of googling - which hasn't helped. I also think the lump has got bigger in the last few days - or it could just be that I know it's there now.


I'll feel better when I have an appointment - it's a one stop clinic  so that should be good. I think I'll tell my husband when I've got the appointment - there's no point both of us worrying. We've got two children (12 and 😎 and I don't want them to know/ worry.


thank you again for your reply - I've read through a few threads and what an amazing forum this is. A wealth of information but shared from women with such compassion and empathy. Really amazing.

Re: Not coping well with waiting!

Not silly at all, Jan, it's quite normal to have some anxiety when referred, as inevitably the mind goes into overdrive a bit.
It's normal practice to be referred to the breast clinic for any breast change & it's right your dr has done so as only the clinic can get to the bottom of it.
Mostly there is a benign reason for the breast change & bc is the least likely reason for it.
Is it an idea to share this with your husband? as he might sense of you're feeling anxious anyway & it can feel better to do so.
Chances are all will be well anyway, it usually is.
ann x

Not coping well with waiting!

Hi. I feel a bit of a fraud as I still haven't had my referral appointment. I found a mobile lump on my left breast a few days ago and got a Drs appointment that day. It was fairly odd..as soon as I said what the matter was he instantly said he would make a referral to the breast clinic - without looking/ feeling the lump. He started filling in the form and asked me to show him where it was " without taking anything off"! I pulled my top and bra down a bit to touch the lump and then he did feel it with one hand for a couple of seconds. He said he felt about the size of a baby tomatoe and 'cystish"


this is morning I realised he hadn't checked my contact details so rang the clinic myself who said no phone number had come through with the referral . They said I'd get an appointment within two weeks.


i know I'm being silly about this - it's probably just a lump but I'm getting really worried. I've not told my husband because I can't see the point in both of us worrying. Any advice would be gratefully taken