Hi,
I am only 32 but have been referred to the hospital (appt 22nd Jan) because of a lump in my left breast. It is towards the centre of my chest near my breast bone. I honestly thought the GP would tell me it was nothing (or that they couldn’t feel it) and send me away. When she said with a worried expression, ‘yes there is certainly a lump that needs investigating’ I couldn’t believe it. I was shaking when I left the surgery.
A couple of yrs ago I had an ultrasound on both breasts as the left one is larger and the right one was discharging a bit of milky like fluid. I went private for this and the consultant was really dismissive and said he couldn’t see any discharge and I must be squeezing it. I felt like I was a nuisance but the ultra sound put my mind at rest - sort of! Since having my son (he’s 6 now) I have always had a niggling feeling about the left breast. He refused to breast feed from that side (even the midwive commented how strange it was because he was very placid until he was put very close to it and then he would scream blu murder) so he fed from the right and I had to express from the left. Even though we kept trying to encourage him to feed from it he wouldn’t.
Anyway I found a small lump in my left breast over summer but because of the way I was treated by the consultant at BUPA I assumed I was making a fuss and didn’t go to the doctors (my GP was great though). Before Christmas I noticed it seemed a bit longer so promised myself I would go in January. I didnt even tell my husband because I felt like such a hypochondriac. I’m now kicking myself that I didnt go sooner. I have a really bad feeling about it.
Despite it being there (noticeably) since summer I now can’t bear the waiting. I have chosen to go NHS rather than BUPA (we are in a company policy) because of the treatment received last time and because I have heard great things about our local hospital. The dates for an appt were the same as well so that made no difference.
The thing is now I am consious of the breat all the time and it seems like I can feel a mass within it all the time … although this is probably in my head. I work from home (by myself) and cannot focus on anything at all. No work has got done this week. I am going to look to see if I can borrow a desk in an office somewhere for next week to keep me focused.
How is everyine else coping with waiting? Any tips would be lovely x
Dear Should Be Working
Welcome to the forums, though I am sorry that you find the need to be here. This link takes you to a leaflet which explains what is likely to happen at your hospital appointment. www2.breastcancercare.org.uk/publications/worried-about-breast-cancer/referral-breast-clinic-bcc70
You will recieve lots of friendly support on these forums but if you would like to talk to someone or have any questions please do call our free helpline on 0808 800 6000 which is open Monday to Friday 9-5 and Saturday 10-2.
With best wishes
Anna
Hi Should be Working (so should I but it’s Friday afternoon and I worked my lunch break…)
Well done for plucking up the courage to see your GP, and good on her/him for referring you. I think what you are describing is pretty normal - after I found my lump I was very conscious of it and imagined all sorts of things. How could two weeks wait seem like an eternity, but it did! Hopefully you will be in the 90% of women whose lumps are benign and you will leave the clinic with a spring in your step and a huge sigh of relief, but if you do have to join this ‘club no one wants to join’ you will find that treatment is really good and there is load of amazing support on here.
The best way to cope with waiting is to keep busy, I think. Try to focus on lovely things, have some treats (stuff the post Christmas weight loss etc, it can be done after this) and be kind to yourself. Hopefully your OH is a good support and can help you deal with the worry, but alongside that use this as a safe space to dump or ask questions - there are no silly questions. Try not to google things, as you will risk landing on out of date or dodgy sites - stick to this one, MacMillan, CRUK or NHS Patient Choice.
NHS or Private is a very personal decision for those who have the choice. I had no option but NHS and can honestly say I was pleased with every aspect of my treatment and cannot rate my local team highly enough.
Hope you are able to enjoy your w/e as much as possible. Take care and a big cyber hug.
Thank you for your replies - they mean a lot 
It’s good to know other people have felt the same way (although obviously I wouldn’t wish it on anyone).
Hubby came home at lunch which was nice and I think he’ll come home every day next week to break my day up a bit. I’m fine when there are other people around it’s just been stuck at home all day by myself that is driving me to distaction!
I’m hoping next week I can throw myself into work and keep myself occupied,
Thanks again. This website and the helpline are wonderful
My appointment is also 22 January, Should Be Working. I found a lump on Monday night - a HUGE one, I cannot believe I didn’t feel it/notice it before Monday - saw my GP who also looked worried and said “I’m sorry” to me, and he provided an urgent referral to my local hospital’s breast clinic. I can think of little else, frankly. Worried doesn’t come close, my head is swimming with all the possibilities, none of them good. Which is mad, isn’t it, because the majority of breast lumps are benign, except of course one keeps thinking “yes but I might be one of the unlucky ones”. The support here is incredible though. Let’s try and reassure one another that 22 January is NOT going to be a bad day for us!
Hi Shouldbeworking and Razorkitty. Hang on in there. I have found the waiting part of this whole messy buisness very hard to cope with. There is no easy answer but do try to keep busy. This site is fantastic and you’ll always find someone to talk to, even in the dreadful dark of 3 in the morning. Please try not to google BC- you’ll get duff stuff and make yourself feel sick.
Look at the ‘standing at the edge of the dark dark woods thread’. Hold hands, take a deep breath and wander in. The results of my lymph clearance are due 22nd January so we can go forward together. Whatever your outcome you will cope. Even when the Whatif monster is looming I promise that the reality of outcome is easier than the not knowing. It gets better.
Wear fluffy PJ’s, drink lots of tea, eat cake and watch mindless TV progs.
Lots of hugs
M x
The waiting is ALWAYS the worst part, because there is nothing you can do to help the situation. After results, you can either celebrate or get on with treating the bu**er!
I vividly remember my wait for core biopsy results. It was only a week, but it felt like about 6 months, and in that time I imagined everything from “It is nothing, you need no treatment.” to “You have a week to live” (which of course NOBODY gets told, because treatments are so good!) and everything in between.
I did find that going to work (school) did help to take my mind off it, and then I’d come home and fall apart again. I’m glad you have a supportive OH - make sure he realises you appreciate him!
Try to remember that your thoughts can’t change whatever the lump is, so worrying is a waste of time nad energy. What will be, will be. (But I know that’s very easy to say!!)
Good luck on 22nd everyone - please let us know how you get on. We love good news, so don’t feel guilty about it, and if it’s not good news we can support you.
I’m 2 days away from the anniversary of the routine mammogram that kick started my BC ‘journey’ - and I’m back at work and nearly back to normal. You CAN do this thing!
It seems like there are a few of us waiting for the 22nd Jan - I hope we all get the results we want.
I’m finding the weekend much easier to deal with… family life is busy and the day has gone much quicker. I hope it’s the same for everyone x
I am also taking your advice RevCat and have ditched the diet for the next week and made sure I have lots of comedy programmes to watch. Both myself and my husband decided to become vegetarian at New Year (my son still eats meat) for health rather than moral reasons so although I am not dieting this week I’m keeping up with that because the food we have been eating is delicious. I have also found out that someone I know went through the same thing last year (with a positive result) which has made me feel a bit better
I’m secretly hoping Monday is a snow day so my son is at home to keep my occupied… a day of baking cakes is in order!
Fingers crossed for all of us, x