I am finding it difficult to find the right words, its hard. I know you don't want sympathy. I can only empathise when recalling how much care my dad needed over the last year of his life in the battle with cancer, but you've been like this for a considerable time.
Lisa, you made the promise to your mum and I totally respect it, but as Lucy and Margaret say you do need to consider support from others. If you carry on as you are you could well make yourself too ill to carry on and that would worry your dad so much.
It is not disloyal to take help in the care of your mum, she is your best friend but I feel she would be so upset if she knew the strain you are under. Taking a rest every now and then would help you and your dad recharge your batteries. I truly hope you will take the next to seeking support, you sound a daughter to be proud of and I don't mean that to sound like a pat on the head.
I am so sorry to hear what your mum has had to endure she sounds like a very strong feisty lady, who obviously has the loving support and care of her family. However, there is only so much you can do before, as you say, it starts to affect your own well being. It is at this stage that you really need to seek external help - as Lucy has suggested there are MacMillan nurses who can come in nd help, or I'm sure you could get assistance via your breast nurse from the palliative care team. Please consider these options if you haven't already - having nursed my own mother through bowel cancer some years ago, whilst working full time and studying part time, I know how hard it is - and how difficult it becomes once you yourself are physically and emotionally drained.
I hope you get some help and get through this
I am sorry to read of the difficult time you and your family are going through and feel you may need some more support to help you. Has your Mum got a Macmillan Nurse or Breast Care Nurse you can contact? They are there to offer you emotional and practical support which may be of help to all of you, you can be referred for this help via your Mum's GP if you have not already done so.
For further information about how to find more support you are welcome to call our helpline, our specialist nurses offer support, information and a 'listening ear' , the number to call is 0808 800 6000 Mon-Fri 9am-5pm and Sat 9am-2pm.
This seems to be the only place I can express my feelings, my mum as battled breast cancer since 1994, in 2004 it spread to her lungs then in 2005 to her head, she really is an amazing person she as been through so much and I don't know how much more she can take, I left work in 2004 when it returned to be her full time carer, all the treatment she as had as caused so many other complications, the worse being she as lost her sight totally and is now registered blind this is the hardest for her to deal with and causes more problems like panic attacks, which lead to high blood pressure and mini strokes, which make her memory and co-ordination even worse. I love her more than words can explain and its not easy but between me and my dad we have to care for her 7 days a week 24 hours a day the pressure this is putting on us is now starting to show, I am walking around like an emotional wreck this last week and just don't know what to do, I fill so sad and lonely all the time, But I promised my mum (best friend) that I would fight this disease with her every step of the way, and thats what I will do.
Thanks for listening