Sal, I also lay in bed last night and thought I felt a lump in my other breast. I am thinking and hoping it is just normal but like you I don't really know what is normal anymore. The other one is still tender and hard where the original lump was. I am going to try and just forget it and wait until I get my follow up appointment with my oncologist. I haven't heard anything about that though. Has anyone else see theirs since finishing?
Sam, witrh the ladies with second lumps on Facebook, d0 you know if they are Oestrogen negative? I am kind of hoping that the tamoxifen will be preventing further 'attacks' because I am oestrogen positive.
Jane, how are you doing. I don't think you've been on for a while. I hope the rads are going ok and not dragging you down too much.
Much love to you all and have a good weekend xxxx
Hi Nannie Sal
If you need someone to talk to, the helpline is open at 10am today until 2pm 0808 800 6000, they're here to support you.
Thanks Sal and Sam for your advice and support. I think the problem is that as a social worker I am dealing on a daily basis with some very damaged and angry people and I'm just not sure I can hold it together when I've got so much going on for me at the moment. I thought things would gradually improve but it continues to be up and down. I found two eyelashes (or brows) in my cereal bowl this morning so they are shedding again. I had read somewhere that this can happen but it is still demoralising when you think you are on the mend.
Have a good night everyone xxx
Well done Tracy!!! Now you get your life back!
Sam, I can't believe your mum is so insensitive. Can you tell her that what she is saying is really unhelpful?
I'm feeling a bit edgy. I am technically due to go back to work mid-June but I really don't feel ready. I know many people have worked at least part-time throughout their treatment but there is no way I could have done so and the thought of going back now just sends me into a complete panic. It makes me feel quite pathetic as I keep thinking I SHOULD be ready to get back to it like other people are.
Go for it Sal! I'm encouraged by your description of your hair growth as I still have very little at the front and its very shiny and I was wondering if it would ever come back but it sounds like maybe its normal to be the last to grow from what you say (I've just read that sentece back and its rather long and waffly so hope it makes sense!).
I keep thinking about how much I'd love a holiday but to be honest I just can't face the hsassle of planning/travelling and also think I want to be in my own environment for a bit while I'm getting myself back to 'normal'. If I could just magic myself to somewhere warm and sunny with a beach that would be perfect but the reality of a long drive to the airport and several hours sitting around in a busy airport (both ways) doesn't appeal. I think maybe by September I'll be more ready.
Hope the rads are going well Tracy and Jane. Not long to go now Tracy.
Have a good day everyone xxx
A finger nail departed company with my finger yesterday. The hairs on my legs are growing nicely but on my head it is very slow. Like you, Jane, I keep inspecting it from every angle with mirrors (several times a day) to inspect the growth (or lack of). Well done Tracy taking the plunge and getting the haircut. My wig got caught on a tree branch on my dog walk this morning and was yanked right off my head. Luckily nobody around to witness it.
Sal, sorry to hear you are up and down. I feel like this too. So many emotions. Its going to take a long time for me to get my head round all that has happened. Hope you get the toilet situation sorted.
Lots of love to everyone xx
Hi everyone, just back from Rads and only a 20 min delay so fingers crossed all going well so far. Got to go in on Bank Holiday Monday, had thought I would have a long weekend but they are so busy they are trying to fit as many people in as possible!.
I totally get how you are all feeling, I am still undergoing treatment but I am having the collywobbles and feel emotionally up and down.
Oh gawd the hair. I studied my baldylocks in the mirror this morning and I found myself twisting and turning with the mirrors to look at the back of my head and decided the shape of it was distinctly odd! I have one or two eyelashes growing back now so that's plus. My grey is more salt and pepper now (much more salt though) and it is quite long at the back with a little wave in it and almost nothing growing at the front. It is a very attractive look! I have been avoiding seeing friends from my old work as I am really aware of my wig (feels a bit drag queen now) and I have lost my confidence too. It's good to share with you the hair/image problems as it makes me feel less peculiar!
Sorry that the nails are problematic, I have been lucky I think and only have the ridges but they are very yellow.
I hope you all have a lovely weekend.
Lot of love to everyone,
I agree, we are nowhere near the end of the journey. My finger nails are painful and sensitive. I keep knocking them and because they have all lifted up half way its horrid! I just have to keep filing them down all the time and hope the lifted up bits will grow out soon. They look disgusting but as they are so ridged nail varnish also looks awfuyl. Hair growth is very slow too and lots of grey. I keep looking at it several times a day to see if there is any new growth. 'A watched hair doesn't grow' seems to be the case. I seem to be getting more and more hot flushes now but these are alternated with being really cold.
I feel emotionally really vulnerable too. I feel I've been in this 'bubble' for so long and to break out of it is proving difficult. I have friends suggesting I meet them somewhere (not local) and it terrifies me but I know I have to try otherwise I'll become a total recluse.
Lots of love to everyone xxx
How's everyone today?Jane, you made me laugh with your description of crawling along the floor to find your wig before answering the door - that is exactly what I would do! I hope the rads experience goes well today.
Great idea about the horticultural course Sam. I agree life is too short to be doing jobs we hate. Yesterday I enrolled on an online canine care diploma course. I really don't want to be a social worker any more and am going to focus on setting up a dog day care business.
I hope everyone has a good day and the boobies are not too painful xx