Now out of the waiting line and on the Cancer ride!

[Penny47]

Jan- I found this inspiring : http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/community/forums/inspiring-stories/words-inspiration-all-bc-cancer-suffers- the first post. We are all wusses when we start. I was. It's the carrying on that does the trick and we can carry on with the support of our teams, loved ones, and forums!

[Jan_mints]

Thank you Linda and Gaymor x

[GMT]

Please don't feel weak or cowardly Jan. You are dealing with a life changing situation and doing it by yourself. I have great admiration for you. I'm a year through so know you will get there, the last year hasn't been a bundle of fun but in some ways I now feel I've gained as much as I lost. Know who my friends are, had the courage to leave a job that was making me ill, met some wonderful people through this forum and at hospital visits of all places! to name a few of the things that I feel I've gained. As my oncologist said when discussing getting back to 'normal', he said 'whatever normal is my dear, and it may not be the same normal as before, it might be a better normal' .
i know this seems a long way off, take it one day at a time and check into the forums where you will get lots of support.
Take care,
Gaynor xxx

[Jan_mints]

Thanks Morwenna, it does help to hear from someone who gets it. I feel I am weak and a coward because I am not feeling positive or strong, and I live alone so no one to distract me from my self pity at the moment.
I know deep down that I will get there, it is just a lonely journey.

Jan

[Lola65]

Oh Jan, I am sorry you are feeling this way. As Morwenna says, there is nothing any of us can say to make you feel better.

Have you considered seeing your GP to see if there is anything he can give you to stop this anxiety? I'm sure you will get an appointment tomorrow if you push for one. Meanwhile, you need to take care of yourself. Sleeping and eating are essential, and especially fluids. Fresh air is good, too. Have a daily walk, listen to the birdsong, and see some friends.

I know you are having surgery at the same hospital I am using, and all I can say is you are in excellent hands. The staff are wonderful, all of them, and will look after you so well. You will be in and out of that theatre before you have time to think, and any pain you may have will be well managed, then home in no time. I didn't have any reconstruction, just a lumpectomy and a sentinel node removal, but can honestly say it was a breeze. I didn't need a single pain killer. The worst bit was waiting for the path results!

All the best to you, and take care. Sending you hugs, Linda xxx

[Morwenna]

Oh Jan,

Sorry you are finding this so hard. There's not a lot anyone can do or say to make things easier for you, except know that we are here for you, all going through the same things ..... I actually (looking back) did not find my surgeries too bad. Well the second one was worse as I had to go back for a mastectomy, which was all a bit sudden and shocking.

What are you most fearful of? The pain should be well-controlled, and you will physically get over it fairly quickly, I'm sure. Just think, they are doing this to take all that bloody cancer away, and at least you are having recon at the same time, so you won't have that big empty scarred place to look at!

I hate when people tell you to stay strong, keep positive etc. Nobody can tell you how to feel or what to think, but I do think despite the fear and apprehension you feel, it is probably going to be easier than you think.

Some people do get something from the doctor to relieve the anxiety, and/or help you to sleep. You might consider that if you are totally overwhelmed. It's not that unusual!

All the best for this week. You will get through it! Hugs xxx

[Jan_mints]

Hi everyone.
I was wondering if anyone else felt really realy ill on the run up to their surgery?

My IBS is in overdrive, I can't eat, drink or sleep. I feel dizzy and disorientated and can cry at any moment. People around me tell me it will be OK, keep busy, be strong but I am falling apart.

I dont know how I am going to get through next week, I feel so helpless and frightened.
Jan

[Jan_mints]

Thanks Wendy, will certainly have a look at that forum!
Jan

[WAC]

Hi Jan
Sorry you're having to join the roller coaster. There are a few of us having treatment in the various East Lancs hospitals - though mainly Burnley - and we have a small thread on this forum:
http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/community/forums/anyone-burnley-east-lancashire?page=3
I had a mastectomy and then lymph node clearance in Feb/March in Burnley with a wonderful surgeon - perhaps the same one. Just had 2nd out of 6 chemotherapy treatments. The staff have all been wonderful throughout.
Hope all goes well for you.
Wendy x

[Jan_mints]

I saw the surgeon today who was absolutely wonderful and gave me such confidence in her abilities .

She found another lump in my neck which I have to have scanned next week but other than than that I have been scheduled for surgery on Friday 17 May when she will remove the cancer and as it is so big, will perform a reconstruction on the affected left breast and to even me up will reduce the size of my right breast to match me up.

She will remove the targeted lymph gland and that should be that for a few weeks before I start radiotherapy. She had me laughing when she was photographing my breasts as I asked her if she was going to put them on Facebook? She said no, Heat magazine as she could get more money for them and we could go halvsies if I wanted. She was great.

So more waiting around but knowledge is power.

Jan x

[Jan_mints]

Thanks for the replies ladies. I look forward to spending virtual time with you all.
Today I felt the need to clean and tidy before it all starts. My appointment with the surgeon today is at 2pm, so we will see what today brings.

Jan

[spookymoo]

Hi Jan
Welcome to the cancer ride! I am sorry you have been diagnosed with this but hope that you will find support on this forum.. Its fun (not!) but i can say that we will all support you. Like you I am a leftie. I was originally dx with Grade 2, but now, courtesy of cancer and all free of charge, gratis and complimentary, i have been "upgraded" to Grade 3! I hd chemo first and x 2 ops and am now booked in for an mx next week. All of it, no matter how scary it sounds, is doable, It is crap, but doable.
Hopefully you will meet some great people on the journey who will support you. You sound like you are brimming full of positivty, no matter what, which will help you. But we all have down days, so please feel free to message or post when this happens. Its a rollercoaster ride and has lots of twists and turns.
Clean knickers are aways good!!! Well done you for being prepared (Were you a Brownie/Guide in a previous life?). I am sure you will find lots of help and suppot on this site. I am not local to you I'm afraid (I am a southern softie!) but I am sure you will have some good messages from ladies in your area. If you feel like you would like a chat pls let me know - am happy to send you a PM. welcome to the Big C club. It is poo but you can rock it and beat this sucker.
Sending hugs
Em x

[Guest user]

Poor you Jan having to travel a wide area for your treatment I am one of the lucky ones having all my treatment for DCIS in one hospital here in torbay I'm counting my lucky stars hope all goes well for you *virtual hugs* louise 🙂

[angiepops]

hi jan
make sure your knickers are 100% cotton - that made me giggle on the pre op letter.
you sound like youve got the ball rolling, i was in for left mx grade 2 invasive and anc and i had the op tuesday afternoon and i could have gone home thursday, i stayed in til friday by choice. i know everyone is different, some ladies in my group at the hospital stayed longer, but i dont know if it was just observations etc.
im having recon as well but i chose delayed just so i could get the op done sooner. i would have had to wait a month for the plastic surgeon and i couldnt cope with the thought of that.
i have to say, i dont think anyone really takes much in at the stage youre at, looking back i wish i had asked more questions and not just said nothing. so if you have anything you might want to ask, write it down, then you wont forget when they start giving you information.
hope all goes well,
kindest wishes,
angie xx

[Jan_mints]

Hi everyone,
I received my results today and have Grade 2 cancer in my left breast. I have an appointment with my surgeon tomorrow afternoon to discuss my operation to remove the growth and surrounding tiissue plus a sentinal lymph node biopsy and eventually I will need reconstructive surgery.

I will have to have radiotherapy and some hormone treatment but dont know yet if I will need chemo. I have been assigned a keyworker and given so much information which I am not ready to read yet. It appears I will be travelling around the area quite a lot as my apt tommorrow is at a hospital in Pendle, The SLNB will be started in Blackburn, my surgery in Burnley and Radiotherapy in Preston.

It is all slightly bewildering, however I do feel calmer now than I have over the last 10 days. It feels like I have been holding a ticket for this white knuckle ride called breast cancer and now I am through the turnstiles and about to step onto the ride itself. It sounds a little trite but that is the best analagy I could come up with.
So I have bought some button up nightdresses for hospital, new slippers and of course, new knickers (cos my Mum always told me to wear clean knicks in case I had to go to hospital!!!)
How long could I expect to be in hospital for?
Thanks for reading,
Jan