Hi and thanks for your helpful comments. I have been ordering online, treating myself to fresh food. I can manage to cook, and I enjoy eating good, but quick meals! I have no motivation to go anywhere and feel what few friends I have have shown themselves to be a bit of a let down!
The trouble with my lumpectomy is that the breast isn't swollen, it is deflated! I wonder how much they took away and of course it will never go back to its rounded self. It looks like a very poor job and I regret having surgery at all as I am not too sure whether at my age (68) it would have made much difference. Probably there are loads of folk out there walking around with horrible stuff they don't know about and they live to a ripe old age!! I don't have big boobs but I used to buy pretty bras and now I just think what is the point.....No wonder the surgeon seemed in a hurry for me to leave! I wouldnt be considering going in for some kind of partial reconstruction because of what looks like a poorly done op, Couldn't face more surgery, on my own etc etc.
From being a strong independent, well travelled and glamorous woman who thought nothing of working in faraway places, I am reduced to feeing old and totally defeated. I wonder whether to bother with radiotheraoy if its going to increase my misery....
Hello and thanks for your information. Unfortunately the SOMEONE LIKE ME doesn't have someone like me, as I don't fit any of the categories!!. I am 69, alone, divorced, no kids/grandkids, no reliable support. No partner. Wondering how I would be able to relate to anyone else in this situation? Are there any?
Hi Tink and thanks for your thoughtful reply! Sorry to hear of your mastectomy, and hope you're well on the mend? Unfortunately my independence wasn't a choice as I had to leave home at 15 due to extreme violence and no support.
On my discharge from hospitaI didn't get much of a care plan, just a look at the wound, a booklet on radiotherapy and an oncologist appointment.......
Perhaps my case isn't considered serious enough or interesting enough....when you're older you tend to get tend to get overlooked anyway and you don't count. I doubt whether the hospital would supply anything extra in the way of someone coming in. I wish I had not had the op...there are probably many folk out there with all sorts of vile - but undiagnosed -conditions who live to a ripe old age, so ignorance can indeed be bliss.
I've had surgery before-hip screw after a broken femur and wrist has metal implant after double fracture, not to mention thyroidectomy and few minor things. Neither op's scars are as ugly as this one is at moment. I am certainly NOT contemplating some kind of rectifying procedure after this! More time alone, wasted holidays etc etc. I feel Too old for this nonsense...
No, it certainly isn't.
Well, we seem to be heading in the same direction now, as I start 15 sessions of radiotherapy next Wednesday, and then start Tamoxifen after that.
But I had chemo first from December to April, and then a full mastectomy and axillary node clearance in May, so I currently have one breast and one horrible scar across my chest! I know what you mean about not liking to look at your body though, I really do!
Maybe we could stay in touch through radiotherapy? I suppose I'll probably finish mine before you start, as you haven't even had the planning appointment yet, where they tattoo you, by the sound of it.
The sun is indeed shining. I've just been for a long walk. I need to exercise every day, and I'm on a strict diet, because I need to lose 2 and a half stone before next summer, so I can have reconstruction surgery.
Independence is so much easier when we feel well. I too am quite envious of your lifestyle (if it was your choice), but can definitely understand how easy it is to become isolated in times of need. Bette Davis was right!
As Sue says, come on here for a chat or a yell or if you'd like a bit of support. We all know the feeling of isolation even amongst our family and friends.
Sue made some excellent suggestions but I also wonder if the hospital could arrange some support with the day-to-day things; could they arrange for someone to come in perhaps? I appreciate that that might be unappealing to you, but sometimes we need to let others look after us a little bit and it won't be forever.
I had a mastectomy and we all know whether lumpectomy or mastectomy how upsetting it is to have this done to our bodies. It has a huge impact on how we feel and acceptance comes gradually.
So throughout your time in treatment - and hopefully beyond - we are your new buddies.
Thanks for your reply. Very kind of you! No, my treatment is Tamoxifen and radiotherapy. I see the oncologist in two weeks, to arrange the radiotherapy, when I hope I will feel better than I do now! My breast looks awful- worse than expected, so I don't look at it any more and don't enjoy showering when I have to wash it! Horrible!! My free life might seem ideal, but independence was kind of thrust on me- since I was 15years old- with so much baggage over the years that I would need a van to carry it al!!!
I've had broken bones and various minor ops to cope with on my own, but younger then, so I could cope. As Bette Davis said" Old age is not for cissies" !!
Hope the sun is shining where you are!
It sounds like until this awful disease snuck up on you, your life was pretty ideal. I am quite envious!
But yes, it's times like these that we need friends. I imagine you feel extremely alone, and it is not a good feeling.
However, my friend, you have come to the right place. We are a bunch of people all in the same boat, and we will let anyone rant or moan to their heart's content. Let it out. And maybe you'll make a few friends here too. There is a section on the forum where you can check if anyone lives near you, to maybe meet up and get to know each other in person. Or if that does not appeal, just start chatting with people here, or in other sections, or through personal messages.
Out of interest, are you going to have any other treatment - chemotherapy or radiotherapy? Or have they finished with you?
My name is Sue, by the way. I'm 48 and I live in Kent. Nice to meet you.
Hello! Just had lumpectomy, recovering from the op 10 days ago and not feeling too positive. Why? Well, firstly, seems to me that all the HELP leaflets/books etc mention the support of friends and family....what if that's not really an option? I am an older woman, divorced- no kids or grandkids - and my "help" options are now professional cleaning and gardening services. At the moment I can afford these. I have not had normal family or partner support to see me through some horrifiyingly tough times, but being reasonably healthy, have always managed. Now I find I am defeated at times with daily cooking and chores, and every little task seems like a mountain! Secondly, I have worked, part time, in a job I enjoy, semi retired, and my passion is for travel. With no friend able to come with me-family ties, no money, not suitable time, etc etc - I travel alone. So my life has been pretty independent, and - because I have no kids etc ,-I have always been expected to visit, be chauffeur etc, which I do, though I am rarely visited. This isn't a "poor me" moan. It's just that feeling isolated AND coping with feeling like a prisoner, is making me feel down. I am not motivated to exercise - always disliked it from an early age - and of course I can't drive. And I feel I will NEVER shake off the feeling of apprehension that this vile illness can return. Yes, I know there are many thousands in MUCH more difficult situations, but that doesn't make me feel cheerful.