Hello! Just had lumpectomy, recovering from the op 10 days ago and not feeling too positive. Why? Well, firstly, seems to me that all the HELP leaflets/books etc mention the support of friends and family…what if that’s not really an option? I am an older woman, divorced- no kids or grandkids - and my “help” options are now professional cleaning and gardening services. At the moment I can afford these. I have not had normal family or partner support to see me through some horrifiyingly tough times, but being reasonably healthy, have always managed. Now I find I am defeated at times with daily cooking and chores, and every little task seems like a mountain! Secondly, I have worked, part time, in a job I enjoy, semi retired, and my passion is for travel. With no friend able to come with me-family ties, no money, not suitable time, etc etc - I travel alone. So my life has been pretty independent, and - because I have no kids etc ,-I have always been expected to visit, be chauffeur etc, which I do, though I am rarely visited. This isn’t a “poor me” moan. It’s just that feeling isolated AND coping with feeling like a prisoner, is making me feel down. I am not motivated to exercise - always disliked it from an early age - and of course I can’t drive. And I feel I will NEVER shake off the feeling of apprehension that this vile illness can return. Yes, I know there are many thousands in MUCH more difficult situations, but that doesn’t make me feel cheerful.
It sounds like until this awful disease snuck up on you, your life was pretty ideal. I am quite envious!
But yes, it’s times like these that we need friends. I imagine you feel extremely alone, and it is not a good feeling.
However, my friend, you have come to the right place. We are a bunch of people all in the same boat, and we will let anyone rant or moan to their heart’s content. Let it out. And maybe you’ll make a few friends here too. There is a section on the forum where you can check if anyone lives near you, to maybe meet up and get to know each other in person. Or if that does not appeal, just start chatting with people here, or in other sections, or through personal messages.
Out of interest, are you going to have any other treatment - chemotherapy or radiotherapy? Or have they finished with you?
My name is Sue, by the way. I’m 48 and I live in Kent. Nice to meet you.
Hi Globalnomad and welcome to the BCC forums
Along with the support here our helpliners are on the end of the phone with practical and emotional support for you so please do feel free to call, lines open weekdays 9-5 and Saturdays 10-2 on 0808 800 6000
Here’s a link to further support ideas from BCC including ‘Live chat’, and our ‘Someone like me’ service which you may find helpful:
breastcancercare.org.uk/breast-cancer-services
Take care
Lucy BCC
Hi globalnomad
If you call our helpliners on the number given they will be able to put you in touch with someone who has had similar experiences to you so they can offer you support and understanding
Take care
Lucy BCC