One year on

[Gillthepill]

Hi gill the pill here just searching for any help in coping with my depression 18 months after diagnosis.Christmas coming and I feel worthless useless and sad.Cant be helping me to stay well.Sorry to be so miserable but I'm at a loss.Suggestions that don't involve mobility as I can't get out and about - osteoarthritis.

[PenguinBiscuits]

Hi fa233
Your doing really well being back at work. My counsellor told me "you've been through a lot, don't be hard on yourself, you will get there". I was really feeling that I should be back to normal, but what is normal. Now my aim is to manage my side effect as best I can, don't get overtired and do things you enjoy. All the best.

[Seashell60]

Hi fa233, Since my diagnosis in October 2012 (Stage2b invasive lobular cancer left breast)I too have had the initial lumpectomy/sentinel node biopsy. This was followed a month later by re-excision lumpectomy/clearance of remaining nodes as they a couple of nodes affected. Then 6 months of chemo/15 sessions of radio and now i am on Anastrozole since last September. My joint aches and pains were horrendous and as fast as they started they then tailed off to a now more acceptable level!! I also miss the person that i used to be and i get very frustrated with myself all the time! I was as positive as could be while the chemo/radio was going on - you lose track of the number of times that people remark on how well you are doing and how you always seem so upbeat (we wear this mask well!) I was wondering what it was you meant when you said PE's and fibrosis? My radiotherapy has flared up sore red and itchy skin underneath my left breast (i was given Hydrocortisone cream) and i always seem to have a niggly cough and sniffles!! Cheers Michele 🙂

[fa233]

Thanks June - have sent the MacMillan fatigue booklet to my works email so I can print tomorrow.  I think it's invaluable to speak with people who are going through the same journey.  I have been referred to a moving forward course which takes place locally in June. My consultant has been saying I'm far too hard on myself but I think when you have been left feeling not the whole person you were before your illness it's probably more about acceptance. I'm doing OK on my pulomonary rehab course but it's the fatigue I struggle with daily.

Can only hope that eventually it improves.

[June_BCC]

Hello Fa233

Welcome to the forums, this must be very difficult time for you.  I’m sure other users will be along to support you soon. 

In the meantime, maybe you would like to talk things through with a member of our helpline staff who are there to offer emotional support as well as practical information. The free phone number is 0808 800 6000 and the lines are open again in the morning and normal hours are Monday to Friday 9.00 to 5.00 and Saturday 10.00 to 2.00.

I’ve also attached a link to a Macmillan publication on Fatigue which might help

http://publications.macmillan.org.uk/kb5/macmillan/mid/service.page?id=z-r6Pon3YX0

Best wishes

June, moderator

[fa233]

Hi I'm new to the forum and was diagnosed 28th Dec 2012. On Letrozole since that date as surgery was delayed as I was on Warfarin for bilateral PE's where I was hospitalised 2 months before in October. Has a wide excision lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy beginning of March 2013 with clear margins & nodes diagnosis hormone receptive stage 2 left breast cancer then 4 weeks radiotherapy in Apr/May-Letrozole for 5 years.  My biggest ongoing problem is fatigue which is a daily battle -also joint pain, weight gain & hot flushes -tbh probably feel half the person I used to be.  I'm currently on a 6 week pulmonary rehabilitation course as I have scar tissue caused by the PE's & fibrosis in my left lung caused by my radiotherapy.  

Has anyone else got ongoing fatigue? My respiritory consultant has said my Letrozole isn't helping my fatigue. Sorry if I sound despondent but I remained really positive all through my treatment but hate the thought I might have another 4 years of feeling like this.  X

[Mac123]

Michele, I can relate completely with what you are saying. Since I was diagnosed in Feb 2013,my brother became very poorly in June, my uncle (whom I was very close to) passed away in January this year and my father in law was diagnosed with rectal cancer two weeks ago. A couple of years ago, I would have fallen apart with all this but now I think that nothing can ever be as bad as being told I had cancer and after that, everything else, though really awful, is doable. Don't get me wrong, things are tough at the moment but I got through cancer and so I can get through all of this. 

[Seashell60]

It's so good to read comments that sound just like it was me who wrote them!!! I often think that i am the only one who thinks certain things and feels a certain way!! Whe i was diagnosed in October 2012 i was excited about our family holiday to Portugal in 2 weeks. Within days everything imploded and it's been the strangest year ever. 2 days before my B/C was confirmed we lost our beautiful girlie Susie (still tear up when i write her name or talk about her - she was our 1st dog we got as a family), then the diagnosis 2 days after that, we took the holiday on the advice of my BCN and a week later were told my father-in-law had lung cancer and he passed away within a fortnight. In a bizarre way all this bad news (they do say that it comes in threes) made me forget the 2 ops,chemo,radio,hormone pills and i gave up work so one less worry about being fit to work. Things are definitely different through my eyes - mostly how i feel about myself and i try not to bother with trivial stuff after all life is for living and i just want to be 'normal' enough to enjoy it (and boy are we looking forward to our 1st proper holiday hopefully next year, finances willing! Cheers,Michele 🙂

[Witchypoo]

bless you - I finished my Herceptin last November after being diagnosed in June 2012.  It's a hard slog and no matter how well (ish) I feel most of the time, there are still times when I have my moments.  For me, life will never be the same again (but there have been positives too, but I'm still here and hoping to be for a very long time - I just think as soon as you hear the word 'cancer' it seems to take away your security.  My next challenge is losing 3 stone before they'll do my reconstruction - eek!!!!

[Guest user]

you're here . . . that's wonderful! I am not up to my 1 year anniversary yet, but almost a year on from the mammogram that lead to the initial diagnosis.  Yes, my whole world changed in an instant - never to be the same again.  But, I keep reminding myself that being alive is more important than anything else.  After all, we only have one shot at life - no rehearsal - no repeat - so my words to you would be to look to have fun.  Do something different.  It's valentine's tomorrow. Take a risk . . . see what happens.  x

[Mac123]

I'm sitting here having my 6th herceptin and thinking back over the last twelve months. This time last year I was enjoying the last two weeks of "normal" life, planning a valentine day meal with hubby, working full time and trying desperately to lose weight through my local slimming club. Then I found a lump on 25th Feb and was subsequently diagnosed with breast cancer. I'm not feeling sorry for myself at all when I say my life has changed completely and this has been the worst year of mine and my family's life. All the things I was doing this time last year now seem somewhat insignificant. I'm not looking for any replies to this but just feeling quite sad and melancholy and need to offload. Thanks for taking the time to read this post x