Our Gang! Come chat!

[Emily T]

Hi Emma, how you feeling this morning? Sleepy I expect 😴 take care of yourself and come chat when you get bored of snoozing 😊 xx

Thanks Susan xxxxx

I will photograph the knitted one on Monday, you show me yours I'll show you mine 😂 on a serions note, have you got a bra with pockets? X

[Silverlady]

Good morning ladies, thank you all for your hugs.

I go to sleep early for one evening and you lot are having a party😀

Scotty - an old wooden ruler? Maybe you need to change Onc's (or buy her a better ruler). Great news that your lump is already getting softer, even if it hasn't shrunk.  Dogging 😂😂😂😂😂

Sarah - The boob is very squishy and if you put it on a hard surface it wrinkles, you have to keep it in its box. So, now my dressing table will be lined up with - makeup, mannequin head for wig and a box with my boob in 😂😂😂. I don't blame your hubby for touching it, I was, when I took it out last night - I kept smoothing out all the wrinkles!  I also lurk on the Macmillan sites, just reading and have seen the NED abbreviation, I had to keep reading until I realised what it stood for 😂😂😂

Strudel - How are you today? Is your back any better?

Emily - Nope, I don't agree - anyone who has a knitted boob on their windowsill at work is weird. I'm even laughing as I type this, you really are quite mad. I'm going to post a picture of my new boob and then every time you look at your knitted boob, it will make you laugh. So, when you're feeling sad, it will cheer you up. I am sending you a huge, big bear hug - it's currently stuck in a traffic jam on the motorway, but it will be there very soon. ❤️❤️

Helena - How are you today? It's grey and raining here, so I can't get into my garden to tidy it up yet.

Ali - you do make me laugh, how are the cats, have they left you to your own devices or are they sticking near you despite your bodily function overload 😂😂😂😂 I hope you had a lovely evening last night Granny Ali.

Hi AnnCann - is so good to hear from you again.  What a horrible time you've had with your daughter, sounds like she only knows the fluffy pink side of BC.  Maybe you should suggest that she reads the secondaries thread on here and then she might understand a bit more of your fears.  I would love to live by the sea, I hope you manage to sell your house and move to the coast.  If it goes through, then you can be our seaside destination, that would be lovely.  I start my chemo on February,  I'm just waiting for a date. Good luck for next Thursday. Sending you a big hug.

Jane - how are you? How many rads have you done? I don't think the fear will ever leave us.  When I found the lump Thursday evening, the fear was just the same as when I found my first lump.  I have to admit that even though the BCN has said it is bruising, a little bit of me is worried that she may be wrong. I'm just trying to ignore myself. 😀 I love Mr Whippy ice cream.  It is lovely having a matching pair of breasts, although I'm not wearing it at home while I'm cleaning - I don't want it to get all sweaty.  I have to wash it every night after I have worn it and put it back in is box - the whole scenario just makes me giggle.

Have a lovely day my lovely ladies, I'm going clean the house, photograph my boob and then sit and read my book. I bet no one else is having such an exciting day.

And you never know, one day, very soon, I'll get my **bleep** start date for my chemo 😂😂😂😂

Susan.

P.s. Emma is back and flat - yah ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[Lexxy]

Emma that's so great to hear you're doing well. I hope you got a good night's sleep x

[ladybowler]

Emma

Yay, fabulous to hear from and to know that all has gone well.  Time to rest now and build your strength back up.  Oh it is so good that we have heard from you, blimey though I just noticed the time!!, as everyone was thinking about you so much yesterday.

Loads of love and Helena huggles xxxxx

[Strudel]

Emma hi. So pleased for you that it's finally done, what a wait you had. Take it easy x

[Silverlady]

Hi ya Emma - it's so good to hear from you. I'm so pleased you are o.k.  Morphine pump? I didn't get one of those 😂 Probably best though as I was sick on the oramorph.  

Brilliant that you went in early.  I just can't put into words how pleased I am that you're o.k. and it is finally over.

Take it easy for my darling and enjoy everyone looking after you.

Loads & loads of love and best wishes

Susan x

[Em 67]

Hello everyone I'm back and officially boobless! Came round and started talking rubbish at about 5.00ish! No mention of elephant willies though I hope Em!! Felt pretty out of it all evening and have slept a lot but have been awake and quite lucid for the last hour or so. Had a morphine pump (amazing) but the handheld thing stopped working so have gone over to Oramorph now. I was first on the list this morning so not too much of a wait - just as well I was in such a panic by the time I got here! Am worn out again now so back for done more sleep I think. Just wanted to update you as I knew you'd be wondering. Thank you for lovely messages 💕💕

[Sallyann43]

LOL Emily - you're just showing off .. brilliant to hear from you and to be honest I understand what your saying ... we've had all the hype of diagnosis, tests, operation, post op results and we are now in limbo land ... I'm bored of waiting .. I want to get on with it and I'm at the same point as you, waiting for oncotype result xx

[Emily T]

Don't ask, no idea Lol!

[Emily T]

Well, it looks like we might have found our sea side site 😀lovely to hear from you Anncann xx

Stru I hope you enjoyed propping up the bar 🍻

Susan, big hugs but silver linings for silver 👍 2 boobs......your tail ofyour daughter made me laugh...on the windowsill at work we have a knitted boob, Ive looked at it often and thought of you 😁 (Its not weird btw, it's to do with breastfeeding)

The group hug was lovely, thank you, I need it. I'm trying not do be down and bring you guys down but I just feel so flat! thanks for being there all of you xxxx ❤

Thinking of you Emma xx

As for wooden rulers 🙈 wtf! That's not scientific 🙊

[Emily T]

Well, it looks like we might have found our sea side site 😀lovely to hear from you Anncann xx

Stru I hope you enjoyed propping up the bar 🍻

Susan, big hugs but silver linings for silver 👍 2 boobs......your tail ofyour daughter made me laugh...on the windowsill at work we have a knitted boob, Ive looked at it often and thought of you 😁 (Its not weird btw, it's to do with breastfeeding)

The group hug was lovely, thank you, I need it. I'm trying not do be down and bring you guys down but I just feel so flat! thanks for being there all of you xxxx ❤

Thinking of you Emma xx

As for wooden rulers 🙈 wtf! That's not scientific 🙊

[AnnCann]

Thank you Sarah, nice to meet you and like yourself I do too much lurking I think. I do scare myself sometimes.... II may not post very often but I will be in the background lurking :-)) The anxiety, stress has crippled me over the last month or so but I think I am getting there now. I am sure you know what I am talking about. Yes I cannot wait to move just need to sell my house..... Look forward to chatting again....A xx

[AnnCann]

Jane,

Of course Fish&Chips with Mr Whippee icecream with a flake!

Have a great weekend.

Ann xx

[AnnCann]

Thank you Helena I appreciate your kind words and I do feel safe with you ladies. You were the first ladies to come to my rescue and knew exactly what I was feeling. I will never forget that! You are welcome to Fish & Chips are mine...:-) Thank you for the hugs and I will try to keep up, as they say! xx

[ladybowler]

Jane

I think I will need counselling, oh yes I am having that anyway, perhaps I will ask her if she can help get me through the next 11 weeks (not that i am counting!!) til the outdoor season starts.  I will probably be asleep to be honest as back to work next week 🙂

Seriously though I have found counselling so helpful, it is the second time I have had it as I suffered really bad stress about 8 years ago and it got me through then and is really helping now.

[Sallyann43]

Hi anncann - lovely to hear from you again, I do a lot of lurking on different threads and I do nothing but lurk on the Macmillan site ... I don't join in at all on their site .... just lurk away .. haha

I was just like you and couldn't keep up with what was going on in the others threads so I was happy when we moved into the coffee lounge ... hopefully you will feel as though you can keep up with us now .... and don't forget, we are all here for rants, moans, meltdowns aswell as the humour, tips and advice

I am so envious of you going to live by the sea, I would love that and it will be lovely for you to be near family

Anyway, thought I would say hi, and hope you will keep joining us even if it is just lurking 😀

Sarah xx

[EJM60]

What a mix of conversations!! Doggies, dogging, prosthetic boobs, wooden rulers!!  When we first had our dog my dads question every time we saw him was 'have you been dogging this morning'!  Certainly raised a smile on both me and my oh's faces!

your scan sounded so uncomfortable Strudel - perhaps some gentle stretches in the bar will help!  The radiotherapy bed is very hard, so you might be advised to take some ibuprofen before your treatments when they start. I do, when I remember, as it helps with my sore shoulders.

Susan, so glad you managed to have your mind put to rest.  Do you think the fear will ever leave us, or will we all panic over any lump, Bump or unexplained pain.  How exciting having a matching pair of breasts again - did laugh at your daughter photographing it!

Sarah - waiting is so frustrating isn't it.  I think it would be much better if they gave us a date way after they think the results will be in, then we would be pleased when they were back early.

Scottie - they could at least of used a plastic ruler so it could be disinfected between patients.  Reminded me of being pregnant when they used to measure my bump with a tape measure!

Emma - when you catch up with the threads, hope you are keeping comfortable.

Helena - what will you do in an afternoon when the bowls finishes!!

I have spoken to the insurance company today, and it looks like they will fund 6 counselling sessions, so hopefully should be able to start in the next couple of weeks.  Really struggling with constant anxiety again, am so tired but can't switch my mind off at all, hopefully I will learn some strategies to help.

anyway, hope you all manage a restful weekend.  Will hold the happy thought of fish and chips at the seaside! Please can we have a Mr Whippy ice cream too?

love Jane x

[ladybowler]

Anncann

Hey hello you lovely to hear from you again.  Good to know that you have been keeping up with us in the background, blimey girl that will have taken something 🙂

You know you are safe with us girls on here and that we so get you.  Love the sound of your move to SOuth Wales and fingers crossed it will happen soon, being very selfish here as the fish and chips at yours sounds great 🙂

You are not waffling nobody every waffles on here, they have stuff that they want to say, need to get off their chests so to speak, or just really need a laugh.

I am so pleased to hear from you as i was concerned that we had not heard from you for a long time.

Sending you loads and loads of huggles

Helena xxxx

[AnnCann]

Dear lovely ladies

I just wanted to pop in and say Hi to you all... some of you very kindly came to my rescue when I was first diagnosed in late November and for a few days following my operation.

EMJ 60

Emily T

Silverlady

Strudel

Ladybowler

Lily59

Treeze

I hope I have not left anyone out!

I have been lurking in the background and following you all and reading your posts.  Some made me laugh, some scared me but generally I have enjoyed the banter you ladies have.  I am sorry I dropped out but I was not coping very well with one thing and another. I guess I am not the only one not coping but I found it diffifcult to reply and keep up with you all on the other thread. 

I am managing better now and   thought I would say Hi and a huge THANK YOU to all of you who helped me early on.  

Just before Christmas my daughter came over from Australia and stayed for a month so she only left last week.   I struggled with coming to terms with this blasted curse and my daughter did not make it easy for me.  I felt that her trip here was more of a jolly than taking care of/or being with me. We  went to stay with my family in Wales and although my daughter joined me, things were strained so she went to stay with her dad (we divorced last year after a 2 year separation)...   What peed me off was the fact that I paid for her to come from Australia and all we could do is argue with me and said I only had BC and lots of people get it and they manage!...... In between all of this I was having CT and Bone Scans and results etc.... I found it difficult to cope.  

Before this curse hit me I had my house on the market (I live in Sussex) and was planning to sell up and move to Wales (where I was born and bred), which I still plan to do. 

This has complicated things a bit as I had my surgery in Surrey/Sussex but my treatment will be in Cardiff.  I have a big family in Cardiff who will take care and support me during my Chemo and radiotherapy treament over the next few months.  Hopefully my house will sell soon so I can then move permamently!  I hope to buy a house on the South Wales coast and I really want to live by the sea.  So I hope you ladies will come and visit me when you decide to take your seaside visit!  

Anyhow thank you again and hope you dont mind we gate crashing!   I am going to jump on the Starting Chemo Feburary 2017 thread shortly to meet up with the lovely fighters over there.  My first Chemo session is next week on 2nd February and I am terrified.....

Anyway I am waffling now....

Thanks again ladies and good luck and best wishes to you all.

Ann xx

[Scotty66]

Sorry Ali me again

Did new onc give you any sort of stats ( manipulative data/ alternative facts) on using Perjeta and Herceptin as opposed to Herceptin. Heard that they've started reducing amount of Herceptin as they think it has the same clinical response. Won't effect us though. Can't even think about that yet

[Scotty66]

obviously not trusted with the ruler yet. Needs to perform brain surgery one-handed first. Pah Amateur!

Funnily enought, it was Desert Island Discs I was listening to during chemo. Dom downloaded them onto his I Pad. God bless 18 year olds.

The Return of the Killer Chemo Farts. Oh God I'd forgotten how horrendous they are. If you need to strip wallpaper in your new house I'm thinking that could be a cheap solution??!!

[ladybowler]

OMG what with rulers, doggies, burping and passing of wind!!

Have a lovely evening whatever you are doing, and for those with backache dont do too much xxxxx

[ali1961]

Ha ha, Scotty. 

Did I tell you that my new onc was very keen to discuss the marginal benefit and marginal cost of Perjeta? He was very keen to impress me with how much they're spending on me! 

Bet he didn't add in the ruler.

Ali x

[ali1961]

I'm feeling we need a group hug, but a very gentle one, since half of us have aches and sore bits. Strudel, Susan and Emma especially. But also Sarah, Jane and Emily. Actually sod it, we all need a hug. Though no one would want to really hug me today, I'm very burpy and farty from the chemo. Charming side effect. Still I've been working from home, so at least only the cats got the full benefit.

We were discussing dogs last night. I can't decided whether enforced 'going out' every day is enough incentive to make up for the extra ties. So borrowing a dog seems like a brilliant idea. I'll be really interested in how it goes.

Scotty, I'm down for an MRI after my third as well. Since I had a different onc this time he couldn't tell, but it feels smaller and softer to me too. Though I wonder if that was because I was so terrified initially. It felt about 50cm before! 

Right, it's Friday night, I've survived a second chemo, I've become a granny and I've done my pension cash in paperwork. This can only mean one thing.

🍾🍾🍾

Hope everyone can find something that gives them pleasure this evening. And if you enjoy Desert Island Discs, may I say that I thought Caitlin Moran this morning was a good one. 

Ali xxx

[Scotty66]

Straight up. A manky old wooden school ruler. How much is this treatment costing and you decided to do the measuring with

.... I'll see her next in 6 weeks so that will be just before the first round of T. Perhaps she'll have some gardern twine or a protractor to measure it. It won't be ultrasounded again until just before the end of chemo.

[Strudel]

A ruler Scotty are you serious? 🙄 My friend Charlotherapy said hers got softer after round one. After round three she had her mid point scans and it's definitely working. A ruler - really?

Ah Sarah. Can't believe you're still waiting, it's nuts.

Susan, we will get that wall and chips 😊
Right oh me lovelies I'm off to enjoy rest my poor back by standing in a pub all night. Erm...X

[Scotty66]

I just checked out the borrow my dog website and, for me, it might be a good idea. Take a local dog for a walk a few times a week or when you are feeling ok to get, just need the motivatiom, They can match you with older, less boisterous dogs. He live in a village and they're lota of walks on the doorstop. If you are a dog owner it could give you a break on week 1 if there is no one around. I'll ask amonsgt my doggie friends - that is friends who have dogs as opposed to look like them or indeed go dogging!

Other news. Lump hasn't shrunk. Boo! I was so convinved it had althought it has got softer.Mind you see did measure it with an old wooden ruler she found lying around. High Tech Equip! Only had 2nd treatment today but wanted some sign that ths was getting better. In and out of the onc office in less than 5 minutes and had to ask about results of bloods and echo.

[Sallyann43]

Googled it ....
No Evidence of Disease = NED

can't cope .... bloody abbreviations 😂

[ladybowler]

Susan

I have had a very restful afternoon, done absolutely nothing but watch telly, I must admit I am getting rather fed up now and want to start doing stuff, I am not one to sit still for any length of time xx

[Sallyann43]

Oooh yeah .... although I don't contribute on the forums with Macmillan, I go on to read what others are saying AND they refer to each other as a NED or NEDY when they have gone through treatment or at their one year appt if all is well ....
any idea what it stands for???

[ladybowler]

Strudel

Wow,you have been through it today but at least that bit is over and done with now. All this waiting is pants but you are one step closer now and hopefully it will not be too long before your oncologist has the results.

Have a nice restful evening xxx

[Sallyann43]

😂😂😂😂 Susan, I can't wait ... think it's hubby that's going to have the fun with it though 🤡 He did have a few squishes of one when we had a meeting with the BCN before my op ... I was like "will you just put the bloody thing down" - very red faced 😂 BCN was encouraging him though 🙄

Strudel - sounds like you've had an horrific day tbh .. I've actually just said to my daughter "I should be the most patient person in the world now - but I'm not" I've phoned BCN to see if oncotype results are back but guess what?? They aren't .. no surprise really but consultant did say he was hoping by the end of this week ... anyway, I'm hoping you've got your feet up and relaxing a little xxx

[Silverlady]

P.s. What is borrowmydoggy.com?

[Silverlady]

Hi Strudel - the fear was just like I had when I was first diagnosed and I was angry that I was going through it again. I could hardly sleep last night, it just seemed so unfair. Although, I thought that even if it had come back, they would cut it out again or still keep the same regime with the chemo. I was so relieved when they said it was bruising,

When I laid on the scanner table on Wednesday, my back hurt a lot - so I can't even begin to imagine how painful it was for you with your back already hurting.

Getting off the scanner sounded fun - Not.

How's your back now?

I keep telling myself that it doesn't matter that I'm waiting for a scan, or my chemo start date, as I am cancer free and can get on with normal life. But I can't get on with normal life until I've had my chemo and rads. I just want to get it over with.

One day we will all be sitting on the wall by the sea, all finished with our treatment, eating our chips and talking about how horrible it all was, but now we are done.

I can't wait ❤️

[Silverlady]

Sarah - the prothesis I have just been given is brilliant. My daughter who is also called Sarah is currently taking photos of it, propped up on a pillow - I think she is going to upload it onto her facebook, with the 'what do you think this is?' There's just so much fun you can have with a mobile boob. 😂😂😂

[Silverlady]

Helena - I really didn't mind walking around with just one boob flopping about, a bit to the side as it had nothing to counter balance it from the other side. But, I must admit it was soooo nice looking down and seeing two boobs of equal size looking back at me.

Did you have a good afternoon?

[Strudel]

Hello everyone.

Susan ........hug. You poor thing, the fear just seems to never fully abate does it? Glad you got a present (?) out of it. X

Emma - hoping it's going/went well and we'll see you when you're back.

So the bone scan. Well they had to hang on to me for a fair bit after the injection as I wouldn't stop bleeding. You have to drink loads afterwards. I got through 2 litres and then wandered round with the bladder of a 90 year old for a couple of hours. The scan itself was hideous. It would have been absolutely fine if I didn't have the excruciating backache. However, I do and the hardness of the scanner just exacerbated it. At the end of it the poor woman (who rang in sick yesterday with back ache - hence my cancelled scan!) had to contort me in weird and wonderful ways to get me off the scanner. The results go to the oncologist and the radiographer was completely inscrutable, unlike the mammographer whose face told me everything I needed to know!

I admit to feeling a bit flat like Emily. It's always waiting. Waiting on oncotype, waiting on bone scan, waiting to start treatment. Waiting to resume normal life (hopefully).

On a different note, has anybody ever used or know anyone who's used borrowmydoggy.com?

[ladybowler]

Sarah

Hello xx Just spending the weekend relaxing and getting ready to go back to work on Monday.

Helena xx

[Sallyann43]

Bloody hell susan, what a worry that was for you .. glad all was ok and you've got a new boob 😉
... I've phoned up for an appt today with prosthetics but had to leave a voicemail ..
I also phoned BCN to ask if oncotype results was back and it hasn't .. more waiting 😂

Strudel - how's ya?? Hope all went ok today with the scan

Ali - it's Friday!!! Does that mean you have a chemo free weekend? Hope you're still feeling ok

I'm hoping emma is ok and she went to theatre nice n early ...

Hope everybody else is ok .. anybplans for weekend ladies?

Sarah xxx

[Lexxy]

Hope the scan has gone ahead OK today Strudel.

What a rollercoaster indeed Susan! Glad it has turned into a positive for you 😊 And just shows how awesome the Nurses are as well.

Hope everyone is having a good day and looking forward to the weekend x

[ladybowler]

Susan

Wow, that is incredible, how much better does that make you feel 🙂 xxx I do wonder if some things happen for a reason, you being worried about the lump and you end up with your new "boob" xx

jak and I were commenting on what a roller coaster journey this is only this morning.

Well it is getting warmer here and the sun is peeking through so it might be a nice afternoon, after a very very cold start to the day.

Helena xxx

[Silverlady]

Emma - I hope you are doing o.k., I've been thinking about you since I got up.

I've had a horrible, yet wonderful, strange morning.

Last night I was massaging my scar and seroma and found a big lump inside my seroma.  As much, as I told myself not to worry, as you can imagine I thought the worst, as I have read of ladies getting BC lumps only weeks after they have had a mx.

I rang my BCN this morning and she told me it was probably bruising from where they drained it last Tuesday, but to come straight in and she would check it.  I  got there about 1/2 an hour later and they saw me straight away, she had another BCN come in (the one who had drained it) and both agreed that the lump was bruising from the needle (I am still black and yellow and the lump is underneath).  I was so relieved and so grateful at how quick they got me in.

Anyway, she looked at my one boob all on it's own in my bra and said we can't have you like this (I had explained that my softie wasn't heavy enough and that I couldn't have a prothesis until my seroma had absorbed back into my body).  She told me she would see what she could do and about 1/2 hour later I was in with the prothesis nurse who has fitted me with a heavy prothesis that matches my other boob and doesn't go travelling. I can have another one, once my seroma has gone.

I can't believe how worried I was this morning against how happy I am now - but, I am so tired (as I didn't sleep well last night)

The weird and wonderful and sometimes downright terrifying world of BC. What a rollercoaster!

I hope you are all o.k.

Susan x

[ali1961]

Emma, and from me. 

Ali xxx

[ladybowler]

Emma

Big squishy Helena huggles for you today xxxx

[Sallyann43]

Emma - thinking of you today .. xxxxxx

[ali1961]

Lovely cats everyone.

Emma, it's going to be fine. Emily, sorry you feel a bit low. Hope tomorrow is better.

Helena, lovely to see you.

Susan, I've only oiled so far, but I am know going to put a nourishing mask on my head in the morning. 

A bit of advice for anyone heading for chemo. They give you some steroids to take in the morning with food. I really didn't feel like breakfast so held off until lunchtime. Don't do this, the steroid high kicked in at about 10pm.  I am semi-flying.

Night all, though I suspect you're asleep

Ali x

[Silverlady]

Hi Emily, good to hear from you, we miss you when you're not here. I hope you're feeling better soon.

Emma - big hugs for tomorrow, I will be thinking about you all day. I promise you will be fine, but probably a bit sore. I look forward to seeing you post on Saturday if you are able.

[Lexxy]

Huge hugs to you Emma, will be thinking of you tomorrow. I understand what you say about feeling a little better when you're at the hospital, the teams are fantastic and they will guide you through it x 

[Strudel]

Emma it will be ok. Will be thinking of you tomorrow x

[ladybowler]

Emily

Oh they are so cute xx