Um!! that is a tricky one I can understand why your mum is worried about telling her but also how you are feeling as well about not being able to xxx
Helena, she's 94!! She had a stroke earlier in the year and fell and broke her thigh 2 days before my op! Shes recoverred well though. She just has trouble with word finding and following instructions. The fall was frustrating as she was really good on her feet and we could take her out and about, now we can't get her in the car.
Oh I forgot about the "grey" look, I remember when I came home my partner got such a shock at the way I looked, my friend who had been with me all day said, this is her looking better, you should have seen her earlier!! A lot of the palour of your face is to do with the anaethetic as well.
Oh the going to bed knackered and waking up a couple of hours later with the world banging at your head!! I have always found that when I wake up with all sorts of stuff going on in my head, I would get up and write it all down in a book, that way I would remember things especially if they were questions I needed to ask or things to remember to do, after that I would go straight back to bed and sleep. I think it helps as the things you are thinking about are than out of your head.
Hope you are or have managed a lie in. there is so much to take in at the moment, just process it in small chunks so that you give yourself breathing space.
Sending you a hug
Ha ha, I have known that one, you get to know your limits 🙂
Oh dear, you really are in a quandry there. Have you explained to your mum the way you feel and why you want to tell her? How old is your nan and how do you think she would respond to you telling her or not and her finding out accidentally. I know its different but when I was diagnosed, I did not tell my mum until after I had my results as I wanted to be able to tell her definitively what was going to happen, she was not happy with me for not telling her before but did come round after we talked a bit and understood my reasoning, she is amazing now. She does not live near me and is 83 so I was worried about telling her as it would have to be by phone.
Morning all 😃 just a chilled night last night but should have stopped at ghe 2 glasses lol!
Hope everyone is OK, Emma and Alex how you feeling?
Elizabeth, it does get better. I didn't sleep for a while, then all I did was sleep. Your body catches up with itself.
Can I vent something I can't say to anyone else? We haven't told my nan about my BC, my mum didn't want her to worry and I TOTALLY get that but I also feel sad that she's not there for me. I've always been really close to her, she was a 2nd mum when I was small, looked after me when my mum was at work and was always at our house or out with us. Now i feel like i cant talk about half my life and I have to watch what I say all the time 😔 I know that sounds selfish but I just needed to say how I felt.
Good morning ladies,
I guess you had a good evening last night Emily? 😂😂
Sarah - pictures of your boob please. I'm not getting a nice, proper mx bra with pockets until my seroma has gone down, as the boob isn't exactly the one I need, so I am waiting. I love my boob, but it does make my seroma ache by the end of the day.
Elizabeth, the waiting is horrible, even after having surgeries on here, all of us have now been waiting for results and start dates.
I hope everyone has a good day today, we are having a BBQ and everyone is coming round. It is always so much fun when we all get together. (This is the BBQ we were supposed to have on the 4th Jan, but hubby was too ill)
Sallyann thank you for your reassurance. I have said to my mother & fiance that we have to find some sort of normality in all of this. I'm so glad there are others who understand. Heading out later on my own for a bit of retail therapy & fresh air to calm me. Sending you & everyone on here hugs xxx
Can't get back to sleep & once again I'm wakened before the birds! I've no trouble falling asleep. I wonder if this is going to be a regular wakening up in the wee small hours type of thing...My mind is buzzing with everything that is going on right now in my life. My mother suggested us going shopping together today. Told her to just go on her own as she likes to be out early & as I thought I'd probably need a lie in
Ladybowler, yes I was told about my wee being blue & also that I'd look grey for about 24 hrs!
I am sooooooooooooooooooooooo far out of touch with this thread and I have had 2 glasses of wine so you aren't going to get a very sensible post from me 😂
Thank you all sooooooooooooooooooooooo much for my birthday wishes I've hack a lovely day. Half day at work, went with my mum to see my nan (who is in a home after a stroke and a recent fall) and she was really up beat and properly my nan today, it was lovely, you don't need presents on days like that! My mum got me a marks voucher so I could be measured ancient get some new bras. I've had horsey gear and a nice top from my nan.😊 then I rode and now I have chicken and chips in the oven! Tomorrow my sister and her husband are both coming and we are all going out for Indian. Perfect! And keeps my mind off Monday!
Bombastic Sarah, photos? 😂
Emma and Alex hope you are doing OK.
Everyone else, love ya'll ❤❤😊😊
The ladies at work called me a "blue tit", Did they warn you about the blue wee etc as well?
Wlll let you off the bed making one, I did it as well before my op.
Before you know where you are you will be awake and back in the ward again xxx Good way to look at it 🙂
Let us know when you can how everything is going
Happy birthday Emily
Ali1961 My operation to remove lymph nodes will be on Monday morning. I was informed by my Bcn that my breast would be blue for a couple of months & when I told a friend she said I'd be a smurff! I liked her humour & think that's 1 of the things which will get me through this. I got tearful this afternoon as it was my last day & there seemed to be a queue of staff wanting to hug me! Left work & went to Primark to buy 2 pretty scarves in prep for losing my hair once chemo starts in just over 2wks time
Lady Bowler I promise I will do something for myself but I need to change the beds before I have op on Mon. Being put to sleep scares me but I think I will just try & think of it as an extra rest that day xx
Oh sending you a hug my friend xx
Lovely weekend to look forward to.
I saw my counsellor this morning which was lovely and actually voiced my fears to her of this coming back, even though I was told it was caught early and they got it all, all of a sudden you realise how vulnerable you become after finishing but I am absolutely remaining positive I have voiced the fear and now I am just going to get on with living my life xxxx
Oh that sounds a lovely weekend away. I am glad the rads are going well, only 8 to do, you are so nearly there and we will be ringing the bells for you very soon.
We do worry when one of us is not around for a few days, arent we a soppy lot 🙂
Wow cant believe you are already 75% through, we will be ringing those bells for you very soon. My breast suddenly went very red when I thought I was doing well so thats probably normal, just ask your rads team to check it, whenever I did they just would yep its ok holding up well and it is as we would expect at that point.
It is natural to be worried about how you will cope, I was, and I remember sitting at my desk thinking what am I supposed to do now, but it soon came back. Be careful about gong back to work and make sure that you do not do more than you are supposed on a phase return and remember this can be reviewed so if it is too much you just have to say. I am going to try and do 18 hours next week but if I cant I will just say, I normally do 25 per week and the plan is to get to that in the next couple of weeks.
Happy Birthday Emily! Hope you have a fab day!
Happy New Boob day Sarah! I hope it goes well 🙂
Emma so nice to hear you are home. As hard as it is, try to relax and not worry about anything but getting plenty of rest, tough I know, especially for us control freaks!
Jo, really good to hear that you're feeling well.
Helena, hope you have a lovely relaxing day.
Ali, I'm so jealous of your boat communte to work, that sounds so lovely.
Jane, sorry to hear you're feeling sore today, hope today goes well and then 2 days off!
Big friday hugs to everyone x
Emily - Happy birthday to you, I hope you have a wonderful day.
Susan - The simple things in life, I have been able to shave my arms, use my own deoderant, shower gel and spray perfume all over 🙂 I am post post rads as of today 🙂 :).
sorry you are having a flat day, right this is the day to lie on the floor and stamp your feet and scream "I dont want to" out loud, I give you permission to do it xxxx
Elizabeth - make sure you take some time over the weekend to do something lovely for yourself not just housey stuff, it will still be there after your op darling.
Ali - oh to be able to go by boat to work every day, that would be lovely, hope you have a good day
Pam - I was thinking about you this morning as well, how are you
Em - absolutely fab that you are home but DO NOT try and do too much too soon, you need to rest and recover now my dear xx
Everyone else love and hugs to you all.
Well this morning is absolutely beautiful here, the sun is shining and for the first time in ages I have not come down stairs and immediately put the fire on 🙂 Am of out to see my counsellor but apart from that I have absolutely nothing planned, I am gearing myself up to working more hours from next week to get back to my normal pattern.
Have a lovely everyone
Thank you Jane
that has made me feel so much better. Your point about the cup of tea says it all! I just need to chill and let things settle xx
Good morning ladies
came home last night in the end. Drains whipped out and I was on my way
lovely to be home but takes a bit of adjustment. Just realising how much I can't do but I know that will change quickly. OH was with me at the hospital when they told me I could go (having said it would be Friday) so he just waited and brought me back. Problem was he hadn't tidied up and go it ready as he wanted! I think he felt cheated out of yesterday evening and is crashing around this morning making sure I know how hard it is for him! It all feels a bit chaotic and surprisingly stressful! All these extra battles are so tiring! My daughter is coming over after work so I think I might encourage him to pop out for a drink to give us both some space!!
i feel a bit disloyal as he has been pretty amazing but I thought I could have a little whinge amongst friends!
i think I may have shared before that I am a control freak so this relying on everyone does test me somewhat!! I know I just need to relax into it and let everyone help. I've got some good books and some good books and some good telly to catch up on so not all bad
talk to you later xx
Happy birthday Emily 🎂. Hope you have a really cracking day.
Happy boob day Sarah. Couldn't find a picture for you!
Happy home day to Emma and happy Friday to everyone else and good luck to Elizabeth!
Susan - hugs. I'm sorry you feel flat. It's the waiting again it just does it to you. I know I haven't done a scrap of treatment yet, apart from tamoxifen, but yesterday was the first day I truly felt like it's going to be over. I know the date on which it ends and you have neither that nor even a start date. It's very, very hard. We'll be waiting for you on the wall xx
Good morning Ladies,
Strudel - You had such good news, surely it could have lasted for a few more hours. I'm sorry about your friend. It's brill to hear that Charlo is doing so well and why wouldn't she be concerned about you - you are a lovely lady.
Emma - I bet you can't wait to come home today. How are you?
Helena - How are you today, anything exciting for the weekend?
Ali - you need to tell us how you wrapped your headscarf.
Alex - your new boob is amazing, I can't believe how little your bruising there is. Mine was all the way across from the cleavage to the armpit, down my ribs and covered half my other boob. I was a purple Tinkiewinkie.
Sarah - New boob today - have fun trying them all on.
Lexxy, Sarah & Emily - hugs, not long until Monday.
Jo - I hope you have another lovely day today.
Jane - I was looking at my huge pile of bubble wrap yesterday and for some reason, thought of you. I hope you are feeling a little bit better today.
Pam - How are you? We haven't heard from you for ages. I hope you are o.k.?
Elizabeth - Enjoy your weekend, you will feel so much better after your operation. We all did, a bit battered and bruised, but it is a brilliant feeling knowing that the BC lump has gone. I went back to work after my mx 4 weeks later, I was working from home at the computer after 5 days. So, you could be back with your little work family sooner than you think - if you want to.
I am having one of those 'flat' days (as Emily calls them) sometimes my positivity just abandons me for no reason and I feel exhausted and in a 'I don't want to' mood. i.e. I don't want chemo, I don't want to lose my hair, I don't want to feel sick - you get the picture.
Have a lovely day my lovely friends.
Emily, have a lovely day.
Elizabeth, your work colleagues sound lovely, hope today is ok for you. Are you having an op next weeek, or into chemo first?
Strudel, even if he isn't a friend it's still a shock. Too many intimations of mortality for any of us.
Jane, how are the bruises? Sarah how's the new boob? Alex, your implant looks amazing. Em, are you coming home?
Hope everyone else is ok, I'm off to work in a bit. Travelling by boat- there are some perks to living in Greenwich.
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday deeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaarrrrrrr Emmmiilllllllly
Happy birthday to you.
Have a fab day - I hope you get spoilt rotton, because you deserve it.
I can't get back to sleep! This is my last day at work before I start my treatment. Going to be hard leaving my little work family though the boss said he can't wait to get me back to put me right onto our reception desk! Wont tell you what my reply was!!!Going to take this weekend to do a few things around the house before my day procedure op on Mon & also to go to M&S to buy myself another 1 of their lovely soft post op bras
Its tomorrow but I have family coming Saturday.
The girls at work brought me a silk for my riding hat, with a bobble on, they were so excited to give it to me lol! Its brilliant.
lol! Stru, we all take it in our stride, don;t you know, we are the chilled out gang of wall ladies