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Petrified aged 32

25 REPLIES 25
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Re: Petrified aged 32

Char that is fantastic news, I'm so so pleased for you really I am. What a relief it must feel!!!!
Nicola, thank you for your advice, Ito be honest I have kind of prepared myself for the worst because then I think anything else is a bonus.
So 2 out of 3 of us have got the all clear....1 in 3 get cancer..... 😕 lets hope those stats don't apply in this situation.
I wish my app was tomorrow and not next week, it's driving me mental.
thanks again everyone xxx
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Re: Petrified aged 32

Hi Mummyto2, I don't know if how I coped will help everyone but I think it helped me so I'll share. I found my lump in April after hearing someone I used to know was dying from breast cancer. I wasn't too worried about the lump alone so didn't call the doctor straight away - I had a lump as a teenager and have lumpy sore breasts usually anyway. However, a few days later I noticed a slight dimpling around the nipple when I pulled the skin to one side and this made me think it probably was cancer. I called the doctor that day but had to wait around a week for an appointment.

I got a locum GP who put me on an emergency referral which means you are supposed to be seen within two weeks. She gave me a U5 cancer diagnosis from examining me in order to get the swift hospital referral but explained that didn't mean I definitely had cancer, she just wanted me seen quickly. I ended up having to wait two and a half weeks for the hospital appointment. In that time I tried to think how best to cope if it was confirmed as cancer. I didn't know about lumpectomies so assumed I would lose my breast, so I thought about tattoes I might get, or whether I'd want a 'fake' breast - I know this sounds OTT just based on having a lump but it gave me something practical to focus on if the 'worst' should happen, and made me realise I would find ways to deal with it. I also thought about headwear vs wigs etc.

My appointment started with a mammogram. It didn't show anything up and even in the ultrasound they couldn't really see anything, but there was a palpable lump that I showed the lady doing the ultrasound and she took several core needle biopsies. She couldn't even see any of my lymphs nodes so they didn't take any samples from there. I was still convinced there was a high chance it was cancer but the consultant downgraded me to a U3 (probably benign) diagnosis and told me they would get back to me in a couple of weeks.

I was called within the week to go back for the results which made me think they had maybe found something. At the hospital my results appointment was delayed by an hour (the longest hour ever), and as soon as I walked into the room I knew I was going to be told I had cancer. My husband fell apart, but because I was half expecting it I was strangely calm. I really think taking my mind to "what if the worst is true" and thinking how to cope with that helped a great deal.

I haven't had to cope with a sibling having terminal cancer so I can only begin to imagine how hard that must be. However, I would say that cancer is a broad term for what is actually many different diseases. Primary breast cancer is very different to, and has quite a different prognosis from, secondary liver cancer. I hope you get good news, but if I were you I'd also be boosting myself mentally to deal with bad news. It isn't what we would choose but it really isn't the end of the world.

All the best,

Nicola x
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Re: Petrified aged 32

Whoop whoop! 😄 Fab news for you both. So pleased. x

Re: Petrified aged 32

Congratulations Mhaggar and Char on your negative results! Phew! Lovely to hear good news again.

Still keeping fingers crossed for Faye for next week.
X

Re: Petrified aged 32

FANTASTIC news again. !! Wow that has put a big fat smile on my face again I am so pleased for you and know that you must be over the moon.
Just got to keep everything crossed for Faye next week.
Lots of love to you . Well done for getting through it all. Tracy xxx
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Re: Petrified aged 32

Thank you so much everyone for all the support over the past week I have had my ultrasound and it was swollen glandular breast tissue that had formed a lump so nothing at all to worry about! I had a follow up with the consultant who said that he was happy not to see me after today as everything's fine but that it might be an idea to think about genetic testing due to the string family history!
Il stick around as the support on here is great and I always have questions due to my mums diagnosis!
If it hadn't been for all the support I would have gone crazy!
Sorry to hijack your thread Faye and il continue to think of you in readiness for your appt next week. Keep strong Hun xx

Re: Petrified aged 32

How are you doing Char ? Do you have any news yet ?. We are all thinking of you . x

Re: Petrified aged 32

That is such good news. We all want to sing and dance and shout FANTASTIC . I am so glad the sun is shining for you. So onwards and upwards with your life now. And dont forget the TLC , Touch Look Check.!!!
Celebrate with your friends and family , enjoy each day and remember the small things in life. I know you will be grateful for every day you spend in our wonderful world.
With my love and every blessing from Tracy xxx
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Re: Petrified aged 32

Mhagger.... That's great news, what a relief for you Xxx
char...been thinking of you today fingers and everything else crossed that all goes well xx
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Re: Petrified aged 32

That is fantastic news! What a relief xx

Re: Petrified aged 32

Hi tracy,

I got the all clear today, just enlarged ducts which I have to keep an eye on! thanks again for all your support it's been so great.

Take Care now XXX

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Re: Petrified aged 32

Faye it's perfectly normal to feel the way you do I feel exactly the same as you. My appointment is tomorrow and I am terrified! Today has been the worst and despite the statistics saying 9/10 are benign, I can't help torturing myself with my family history and that it WILL be something terrible, but it is only natural to think this way and assume the worst and nothing anyone can say can take that fear, but draw comfort in the people who are there for you. The waiting is the worst and it's only relieved with knowledge. I won't lie this week has been torture I've spent most of the days swinging between fear and terror, to acceptance back to fear. Just go with those emotions and try to distract yourself as much as possible, but don't bottle things up come here, talk to your husband, be with your children.
hugs you will get through this xx

Re: Petrified aged 32

Hello MHagger.
We will be thinking of you tomorrow and dont forget to take some one with you as the wait seems endless. Sending you lots of positive vibes for good news.
Maybe a glass of wine to calm your nerves tonight, a lovely hot bubble bath and pamper yourself with lots of body lotions and potions. We ladies do not look after ourselves very well , we are so busy being the dutiful wife and mother. Tonight is your time, listen to your fave music and sing along if you can, as it makes you feel so much better.
Sending you big hugs for tomorrow. Tracy xxx
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Re: Petrified aged 32

Hi Faye,
Its so natural to be feeling like you are, I felt exactly the same, in all honesty no matter what people say you will still worry its human nature I understand your OH saying stop Being negative think positive it's easier for them to think that way but I'm sure hes just trying to keep your spirits up thats all.... ( bet he's worried sick inside though) ... I know this won't help but they do say 9 out of 10 are benign tumours, I have all my fingers crossed for you that this is the case.. Please let us know how you get on.
Michellle xx

Re: Petrified aged 32

Hi mummyto2,
I understand exactly what your saying my appointment is tomorrow have waited just over 2 weeks, I hate the waiting, it's natural to think of the negetive rather than positive!
Try to keep busy with the kids, go out for walk in the park and enjoy the autumn sun!
Or treat yourself to coffee and cake!
Keep chin up and am thinking of youXX

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Re: Petrified aged 32

Hi to you all, just an update from me.... I've had my appointment come through for the breast clinic. Next Thursday 25th at 9.30. A whole 10 days to wait. Please tell me what I can do in the meantime to stop thinking these awful thoughts. My husband told me to stop being so negative and to pick myself up blah blah...... Like I really want to be thinking these thoughtS??! I honestly feel like my life is on hold. Do u think I'm taking this wayyyy over the top and im being ridiculous???? I've told a few close people to me and they've all just said "you'll be fine" ok so how do they know exactly that eh??!!!
i think what I'm trying to say is that is it normal to feel like you are going to be told you have the worst possible form of aggressive BC and that it will spread within months and that there's nothing that can be done???? Why am I feeling like this, there's an 80% chance that this will be nothing but I can't seem to cling onto that positive thought. HELP
faye xx
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Re: Petrified aged 32

I left you a little message on the end of the thread I started, but wanted to say once again, that you are not alone. I can totally empathise with you, we're the same age, very similar circumstances.
I hope you get your appt very soon. Just having a date gives a focus.
Through going through this with my Mum, and now myself. The waiting is the worst as it gives you time to think of all the possible scenarios, and you end up scaring yourself witless. I've been through the whole process of BC with my Mum, as a ''passenger'', and I know that if faced with BC it is copable. My Mum is so fragile, but she was a damn superhero going through treatment.
Just hold on to the knowledge and hope that the majority of breast lumps are not cancer. It's what is helping me through. And just go with the emotions, having a massive cry is a great way to relieve the stress, even if it is only temporary.
I'm thinking of you xxx
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Re: Petrified aged 32

I'm not sure when my appointment is, I went to the doctors on Thursday and she said I would hear within 2 weeks. I just hope it's sooner rather than later, the waiting is horrendous!
Hope your app this week goes ok xx

Re: Petrified aged 32

Hi mummy2
its hard trying to be brave, when inside you are so worried. Try not to squeeze, it make it so much worse. Specialist said that too.when do you go for your appointment. I've feel like its been ages as I first saw specialist on 8th October and still go to wait till Thursday. all I can say I'm here if you want a chat xxx
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Re: Petrified aged 32

Thanks hay, the more I think of the nipple discharge the more I worry. I squeezed my nipple last night and what looked like a small amount of milk came out???!! I had my son over 2 years ago and didn't breast feed. I'm not sure why I would be getting any milk come out now, very strange, nothing came out of the right nipple (lump in left breast) I suppose I should be slightly thankful that there was no blood in it last night, but looking at my bed sheet there was definitely a brown tinge to it.

Re: Petrified aged 32

Hi mummy2
i know totally how you feel, I have mamm/ultrasound this Thursday. The waiting is the worst bit, hence up early cant sleep. I had the nipple discharge too. Mine turn yellow when dries only couple dots on bed clothes. When I breast specialist he didnt say much. Just sent a nipple smear off to lap. Told me to leave checking it. Since then totally stop apart from odd dot. I've got pain at top of breast and he said it felt nodular tissue. So I guess that's why I'm having test. Fingers and toes crossed we will be fine. I've 3 children. Youngest is 1. I'm thinking of u keep yourself busy, hard I know. Sending you a hug xx
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Re: Petrified aged 32

Thankyou both so much for your replies, this seems like a lovely forum and I'm sure I'll be hovering around a lot over the next few weeks...hopefully no longer! The waiting is awful isn't it, I'm not the most patient of people at the best of times.
I keep going through the most extreme emotions!! Part of me is thinking everything will be fine, then the other half of me can see myself sitting in the room being told of my diagnosis and me crumbling to the floor in an absolute heap of a mess.
Xxx

Re: Petrified aged 32

Hi Faye

I've just replied to your post on the 'Feeling pathetic' thread, so rather than type it again, perhaps you'd go there to look at it.

Scrap that comment, I've copied my comments over:
Sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. No wonder you're worried with all you've been through already because of the disease, and being so young with a young family. You're not being silly at all. We've all been there, waiting. As everyone says, it's the hardest time, worrying and wondering.
Do remember that 9 out of 10 referrals are not cancer. Although I have had cancer I've also had a cyst and lipoma, which are non cancerous, so it could just be something like that. If it's not the news you're hoping for, however, once you know it's easier to deal with when treatment starts. But fingers crossed it's a negative result.
In terms of the clinic, do take someone with you as it's such a stressful time and if you get the result the same day it would be good to have support, either way. At fast track clinincs they do try to let people know on the same day if possible but if you need a core biopsy it takes a few days - I was told it would be at least a week for those results. I knew when I was phoned at work after 6 days and asked if I could make an appointment first thing the following morning that it wasn't the news I was hoping for.
Try to pamper yourself, do nice things with your children and partner. Get plenty of exercise - it really helps. Try deep breathing exercises as well. DO NOT GOOGLE. Wait to hear what the professionals have to say. Also, the BCC helpline are wonderful. They make you feel so much calmer - so do give them a call, I'm sure that will help.
Please let us know how you get on - we like good news stories on here. There's been a few worried ladies on the Forum just in recent days and they've now had good news and are out and about celebrating. But if it's not the news you want you'll find lots of support and advice on the Forum from people who understand.
Take care. We're here if you need us.
Flori X

Re: Petrified aged 32

Hi sorry to see you the here but you have come to the right place for advice and support and there is a lot of literature on this site that you can read up on. I can't help you with the discharge aspect but I can tell you what might happen to you at the hospital. You will almost certainly have a mammogram which is a bit I uncomfortable but all over in a few minutes. You might have ultra sound this is just like when you were pregnant and totally painless. The doctor may do a needle on your lump to see if he can get any fluid off and if so your lump is just a cyst that many women have. I have had 2 drained but my doctor told me I am like a pin cushion! If no fluid is released the radiographer with the aid of ultra sound will take a core biopsy and this is sent to the lab. If this is the case it is a little uncomfortable but you have a local anasetic first. They will usually tell you at that point if it is cancer. You will be allocated a breast care nurse to answer your questions and then await an appointent to meet with a consultant in about a weeks time when the results come back. It's sounds scary but it's not and rest assured its so much better when you know what your dealing with. Xxxx

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Re: Petrified aged 32

I forgot to add to that I 'think' I may have had some nipple discharge, I only noticed this from something that was on my bed sheets when I woke up the other morning (like a light brownish colour) it was exactly where my breast had been positioned from where I slept. Haven't had anything on my bra or clothing though but can't think of anywhere else this 'brown' patch would have come from??? Has anyone else had anything similar regarding it just being on your bed sheets and not clothing etc?? And is nipple discharge a bad sign? Xxx
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Petrified aged 32

Hi all Ive just signed up to this forum......hopefully for some positive thoughts.
Im 32 years old, got married in may, have a 12 year old daughter & a 2 yr old son....life is/was perfect.

I found a lump about a month ago now and finally plucked up the courage this week to go to the doctors after realising it wasn't going away!
I really hoped the doctor was going to tell me there was nothing there! But she felt it too and has now referred me to the breast clinic. My beautiful brother died on his 26th birthday from cancer 9 years ago, so this vile disease has already hit our family hard once before. I'm totally petrified that I'm going to have to put my parents through this worry again. My brother was only diagnosed fr 4 months before he lost his battle (diagnosed with secondary liver) .

Ive just had a total career change (previously a hairdresser) now going into nursing, and I'm just about to start a new job with the NHS in my local hospital. I just don't know what to do with myself, I can't look at my children without filling up. Which I know probably sounds ridiculous to some of you going through so much more (and I admire you all)
I think because of what we went through with my brother and because he was so young I'm so frightenedthat's it's going to happen to me too.

My husband is trying to keep me positive and he's 'adamant' that I'll be fine.....but I know that's only because he's thinking something like this can't happen to us, but I know it can.
Please help me I'm going out of my mind. What will they do at the breast clinic, and do you get results the same day????? All this waiting is driving me insane. Please can someone give me the kick up the bum I need...to be positive.

Thanks for taking the time to read, I really appreciate it xxx