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Playing the CANCER card

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Re: Playing the CANCER card

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Mazzalou
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Re: Playing the CANCER card

I second that Keepthefaith re the thread "Nice things that people do for us when they didn't have to" - go for it!

Some of my friends and family have been amazing and even though I am 9 months since diagnosis goodies still arrive for me.

Enjoy the bathroom makeover Judes - progress reports please!

keepthefaith
Member

Re: Playing the CANCER card

I played the CC today - a good one!

Bought dd some boots for Christmas online from River Island (was not well enough to go shopping before Christmas). Took them back this morning (I was well enough to go shopping for the first time in about 6 weeks!) only to be told "sorry we don't do refunds in the 3 days after Christmas". I explained to the sales girl that I am on chemo and won't get another opportunity to go all the way to Gloucester to change them. She called out the manager, I explained again to him and he said the same. I said "Look, I really can't get out again for several weeks, could you please just make an exception this once?" "OK then" he said. Result! Refund obtained, everyone happy!

Aw Judes aren't your friends so good to you? Maybe we should start a thread "Nice things that people do for us when they didn't have to" !!

Love
xx

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Re: Playing the CANCER card

catching up on this thread to cheer me up today. my story isn't really the CC but anyway:

apparently over christmas a group of my friends got together (while i was in another room) and plotted a special gift for me. it's my birthday in january and they're going to give my bathroom a makeover. the main instigator, ryan, does building work and he's not got any jobs on at the moment, so he's going to supervise an upgrade of my (very tiny) bathroom that they feel needs some help. i hadn't really noticed the problem but it's so sweet of them i'm overwhelmed.

Nonny
Member

Re: Playing the CANCER card

When I was diag with Stage III Grade III TNBC in Jan 2008 I had already booked and paid for return flights from Plymouth to Bristol and from there to Crete and back for the following May, both lots non-refundable. I rang both airlines asking if there was any possibility of a refund and was advised to send proof of diagnosis with a letter of explanation. This I did and received full refunds from both airlines with lovely letters wishing me well. I couldn't claim on my travel insurance as I had already had BC in 2004 and they would not cover me! The majority of people are very kind and understanding and will go out of their way to be of help.
Love to all
Jennie

3network3
Member

Re: Playing the CANCER card

I love it Kate, well done!

Christine 🙂 xx

sarahlousie
Member

Re: Playing the CANCER card

YAY bigbirdkate,

So happy that your story has a good outcome, eventually!!!

love and light
sarahlousie xx

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Re: Playing the CANCER card

that was a result bigbirdkate.

Jean xxx

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Re: Playing the CANCER card

The AA called me today to ask if I was happy with the service. I whipped out the cancer card again and told them how I was told I would have a 2 hour wait even though I was on my own and undergoing chemo. They apologised and gave me a years free AA home cover!

Kate xx

keepthefaith
Member

Re: Playing the CANCER card

SarahAL - I have to admire your friend's chutzpah!! That one gave me a laugh.

bigbirdkate - we had a similar thing with the RAC when we broke down coming up the M5 a few weeks ago, and I "shared" the fact that I was on chemo and shouldn't be standing around in the cold for ages as I was vulnerable to infection, and the van was with us in half an hour and the driver and the highways patrol who stopped by as well, couldn't have been nicer! As you say, some people are just kind, and some aren't!!

Happy Christmas to you all, let's hope there's no need to play the card over Christmas!

AnnieK68
Member

Re: Playing the CANCER card

We played the CC yesterday - our boiler is playing up so needed British Gas to repair it (maintenance contract).

Originally, they told OH it would be Thursday before they could come out. OH explained I was having chemo and had a severe chest infection and they were out within the hour! They need to come back on Friday, so I popped my bald head down to discuss times & hospital appointments and the very nice engineer said if we weren't in - he would sit and wait for us! Bless him, we've got someone to house sit for us for an hour or two!

Lizzy1977
Member

Re: Playing the CANCER card

I played it today at the GPs when there was no appointments. It's surprising how an appointment can be materialised out of a fully booked list!

sheil
Member

Re: Playing the CANCER card

Now there's a miracle - a kind Edinburgh bus driver!! 🙂

Lulu34
Member

Re: Playing the CANCER card

I had another success yesterday.... After a lovely shopping trip into town with my mum but after a couple of hours walking around the shops i got very tired and my hips and knees started to seize up, so we went to get a bus home but all the bus stops are changed because of the disruption from the tram lines being put down in Edinburgh city centre and we walked to where we thought the bus stop was but the bus was almost going past and I was waving at him..... He eventually stopped and told us this wasn't his stop and it was about 500 metres up a steep hill! No way I could manage that anyway he took pity on me probably seeing my bald head and let us on the bus.

Lulu x

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Re: Playing the CANCER card

this is how I learned about the cancer card...
I had arranged to go for lunch with an elderly gentleman friend, who also had cancer. When we arrived at the restaurant (where he went often - the staff knew he had cancer) he marched over to his favourite table in the window. A waitress rushed up and said 'i'm terribly sorry, this one is reserved' at which point he went pale, sort of swayed a bit and clutched the chair back and said 'are you sure, I am really not feeling too good..' so she immediately said 'no, take it, we will sort something out'. I was a bit concerned, so after she left I asked 'are you ok, you seemed fine a few moments ago' and he leant forward and said 'absolutely fine, I just wanted this table...'
Sarah

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Re: Playing the CANCER card

The cancer card failed me yesterday, twice!

I went out on my own (first time since last chemo on Wednesday) I was driving along in my little old banger, up a very busy hill that leads to the M25, when my engine cuts out. Tried to restart it but nothing, arghhh! I had a bus behind me, with traffic starting to queue each way.

Luckily, a highway maintenance van pulled over to help me, followed by a police car to direct traffic around me (how embarrassing!) The highway maintenance men towed me to a petrol station only 50 yards up the hill and I thanked them for being so helpful (no mention of the c word needed)

This is where the goodwill ended, the police came to check I was ok so I told them that I was only a week past last chemo and shouldn't really be out. The said, "ok love, but you are off the road now so we will leave you to it!" Great, thanks!

So I called the AA, told them what had happened and they said they would be there within 2 hours. I explained about chemo, and she just repeated herself and hung up!

The AA rescued me eventually after an hour and a half. I decided not to mention the c word to the AA man and he was amazing! He fixed the car, gave me some helpful tips and was really fast and friendly.

I have decided after yesterday that maybe some people are just kind and giving whether you have cancer or not (and others are just mean!)

Kate xx

Lulu34
Member

Re: Playing the CANCER card

Well I had to use the CC last night.

I went to my work Christmas night out which was knackering but lots of fun to see all my colleagues and catch up..... It finished at 1am and 5 of had booked a taxi to collect us then so we all sat outside waiting for it to turn up (after a drunk man fell into me and knocked my over in the street... But thats another story!) 15 mins later and still no taxi so we called to see where it was and they said it would be 10 mins... Then a taxi turned up for somebody else but there was nobody there so I whipped my wig off and asked if he would take us as it was late and was having Chemo... So we cancelled his pck up and took us!

Bit naughty I know
Lulu x

NannieSpiky
Member

Re: Playing the CANCER card

Hi Ladies

Spent the day with my daughter and she told me a story that made me smile and think of the cancer card.
I only wear bare escentuals make up and my daughter went to John Lewis to buy me some mascara as one of my Christmas presents. Whilst discussing which mascara to get she told the assistant that ' my mum is living with cancer' which prompted a response of free samples with a bag! She bought me some mascara but since then, I've learnt that I'm going back on chemo starting 21Dec and will lose my eyelashes,so her sister-in-law is now getting the mascara as I won't be needing it for a while and she's had to re-think my present!
Good news - I still got all the free samples and the bag!!

Liz x

Buzzy
Member

Re: Playing the CANCER card

At the end of my chemo i went out for a meal with some friends to "celebrate". It was during the summer and I had given up wearing wigs so my bald head was on display. When my friend went to pay the lady serving her asked what we were celebrating. My friend told her that I had had a bit of a rough time lately and had just finished chemo so they took my meal off the bill. I was quite touched. Didn't intend to play the cancer card that time but it worked!
This week another friend of mine wrote a letter about me to David Hasselhoff who I have a huge crush on (please don't judge me for that! lol) and who is playing in panto just up the road from where we work. She dropped it in at the stage door and within a couple of hours his PA called and invited us to the show and to meet David after. I'm soooooo excited. We have't been yet but are hoping to go after Christmas. Nothing like a good cancer sob story to get what you want I say. There are few perks with this disease so why not?!

Lost_4_Words
Member

Re: Playing the CANCER card

Well done Judes for this thread some good advice/ideas 🙂

For those who may be struggling with the idea of 'playing the cancer card' try to look at it this way:

All you are doing is: Informing them of the relevant facts so they can make an informed decision 😉

Sky TV, I wanted to upgrade box in bedroom to a HD box (had very old Sky box and wanted Sky+ so I can record). I've already used up all my freebies with moving and upgrading (one per household) earlier this year. Rang Sky to discuss and told 'as an existing customer blah, blah, blah it will cost £99 unless you take out HD package (£49.99 for box + extra £10/mth, 12mth contract)', reply 'oh well I'll have to leave it then cos I'm off work at the mo and can't afford that! Never mind, after my chemo I'll just have to drag myself downstairs to watch my recordings in the middle of the night when the steroids are keeping me awake!!' (very very nice Sky man) 'When would you like it fitted? I'll do you the HD package for 3 months free and as long as you cancel before the 28th Jan (30 days notice) you wont have to pay anything. Is Monday ok for fitting?'. The next bit blew me away and really was 'going the extra mile' he said 'Let me speak to my supervisor and see if there's anything else we can do' off he went and came back offering the full package for 6mths at half price. RESULT 🙂

sheil
Member

Re: Playing the CANCER card

Sounds a bit mean but it gave me quite a warm glow playing the CC.

One of my tenants was really pushing her luck, wouldn't pay rent because she had "other priorities", basically everything but rent. She forgot I was one of her facebook friends and could see that she had recently got sky multiroom, a new Iphone, gym membership - all things I can't afford! So went round for a chat, she got all 'drama queen' on me, oh I'm almost suicidal!!

Did I tell you I've got breast cancer?? She has started paying her rent. It does feel a bit odd but hell, if it works.....

Great thread.

S

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Re: Playing the CANCER card

Hi everyone love the thread well done Judes.

I rang my council a couple of days ago as we had what is called a Home Dry System installed in the loft about 2 years ago but we hate it and have been trying to get it taken out but council would not even consider it, but I used the cancer card this time and they are arranging for someone to come round and see whether or not I can have it removed, woohoo.

Jean xx

gill13
Member

Re: Playing the CANCER card

thanks Puffywhiteclouds

i'm just not sure that they would consider a move of office reasonable adjustments, it's working for an employer but different dept within the structure. Complicated DWP!

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Re: Playing the CANCER card

Gill - under the Equality Act your employer has a legal obligation to make "reasonable adjustments" so you shouldn't have to play any cards. Good luck with your return to work.

gill13
Member

Re: Playing the CANCER card

i have been after a transfer with work to an officer nearer to home, 10mins instead of 30 mins, this has been a definate No, No until now, HR are now considering phased return for me at local office, they're not promising permanant transfer, but for me a step in the right direction. And once i got my foot in the door, i'll be playing any card i have to hand to stay there 🙂

Gill x

Lulu34
Member

Re: Playing the CANCER card

SGL I would have asked if the duty gp could call you back when he was free.... And if she wanted to know why tell her it's about your cancer treatment.... It's not up to her to decide whether your bloods are urgent or not.... If the nurse and path lab do them urgently they are doing that for a reason! I would also make a complaint when you next speak to your doc and nurse.... 😞

Sadie glad you enjoyed your reflexology

sarahlousie
Member

Re: Playing the CANCER card

Hi SadieL,

I go to my local hospice and receive spiritual healing and reflexology both or absolutely fantastic and make me feel great at least for that particular day.

love and light
sarahlousie xx

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Re: Playing the CANCER card

Sorry it did not work SGL!

I use the cancer card to get wonderful treatments from my local hospice. They help primary and secondary bc. Reflexology today, it was lovely!

Sadie Xx Xx

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Re: Playing the CANCER card

Well it didnt work for me tonight! My chemo has been stopped after only four cycles as my neutrophils are dangerously low, even after the Neulasta injections.

I was told by one of the nurses to try and get bloods done today and rushed through to see if I am still neutrophenic. I rang the path lab results line to see if there ready and they are. The doctors receptionist is refusing to call saying shes too busy and I will have to wait until tomorrow, even though she knows I have been having chemo and have low white blood count. Really not happy tonight, as want to know what my bloods are doing as to whether to stay in away from people for fear of getting a bug and ending up ill in hospital!

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Re: Playing the CANCER card

Well done to you all, I have no qualms about using the cancer card, why should we, there has to be some benefit to the raw deal with have been given!

Crabbit - go for the school place, I think any special considerations are counted first, before having siblings in the school and children living closest to the school. So he would have a very good chance of being accepted!

I have actually successfully played the cancer card to get my son into a school. He originally went to a high school not attended by any of his friends and really struggled socially, with a bit of low level bullying. I tried to move him to the other school, but they turned him down as they were oversubscribed. Then when I got my secondary diagnosis I really laid it on thick, about how he needed all the support of his friends (even stating that I was unlikely to still be around by the time he left and he would then be with my Mum, who does live in the catchment area.)....It worked and he is really happy at his new school.

Keep on posting some good suggestions!!

Mazzalou
Member

Re: Playing the CANCER card

At the end of September hubby and I went to watch the ‘Girls’ Night Out’ which was a night-time walk through Bury St Edmunds to raise funds for St Nicholas Hospice in Bury. Becky Jago of Anglia News fame supports this and took part in it, and my hubby is her number 1 fan so we went for him to see her, and for me to support the walk as I had some friends taking part. I would have loved to have taken part but the side-effects of my chemo made it too difficult. Anyway, the event was reported in the local paper and the following came from the report:-

“I also spoke to a lady who’s having chemo so she can’t do it herself, but she came to support others.”

The lady she spoke to who was having chemo was me! And I have the photo of her with hubby to prove it! We both received a hug from her and hubby hasn’t come down from ‘Cloud 9’ yet!

Mind you, I don't really think that I played the cancer card in getting a photo of Becky Jago with hubby as one of the charities that she supports is 'Keeping Abreast' which is a breast cancer reconstruction support group.

sarahlousie
Member

Re: Playing the CANCER card

When I was dx earlier this year with both primary and secondarys all at the same time I had just sold some surface pattern designs via an agent usually my agents take 3-6 months to pay (I know absolutely ridiculous) they like to hang onto my money as long as possible so they get as much interest on it in their account (this job is not for the faint hearted as you live by what they manage to sell and the stress is just stupid) anyway I played my cancer card with my agent and boy did she jump told her I was skint and that I was dx with breast cancer stage IV she paid up straight away, since then I told other agents that I have acquired and as soon as the designs are sold they pay up straight away RESULT!!!

I don't feel bad about playing the cancer card with her as she's been one of my agents for 3 years and only just sold the designs to tesco's, working from home and in a remote location its easy for these 'middle men' to have the upper hand, not any more.

By the way great thread.
Love and light
sarahlousie xx

dawnhc
Member

Re: Playing the CANCER card

Mine was a long time ago back in the early days of bc and I had just had bad news that it had spread. True to form I got back in the car and headed for a bit of retail therapy. Managed to find a few treats and headed back to the car only to find I had a parking ticket!!! I had completely forgotten to pay & display.

Out came the cancer card and explained I must have been in quite a state as I had just had this bad news etcetc. SUCCESS 🙂

Dawn
xx

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Re: Playing the CANCER card

Loving this thread!!

I havent used it yet but will if i need to. Im not sure about whipping my head out in public though eeeek thats brave of you all i dont even want to show my friends as pathetic as that is. Only my hubby and one nice work colleague has seen (shared a hotel room with her after christmas do so couldnt really avoid)

Lulu34
Member

Re: Playing the CANCER card

I just used mine just now...mind you it was cancer/Chemo bf rain that caused the problem in the first place!

Just before I had my op I opened online ISAs for the kids as they had both had policies mature.... Completely forgot to send off the paperwork to confirm identity and address.... Then a few weeks later I got a letter saying sons was closed and money refunded..... Waited a while later expecting daughters to get closed too but hers didn't... So phoned the new accts dept and the girl there said it was def closed and to open a new one.... So I opened up a new one and sent money again and then today I got a letter saying you cannot open two ISAs in the same year.... So even though the allowance is over 5000 and I had only put in 3000 which was returned I cannot open another for him to put the other 2000 in it.... It just said the first one is closed and I cannot put funds in the second one..... So I phoned up accounts again and the guy explained this all to me

And I just told him I had other things on my mind and forgot to send the ID and he said he would refer it to the ISA team but they had gone by their policy.... And I said surely it was exceptional circumstances as I was having surgery and Chemo..... Yay! 10 mins later he phoned back and said they would reopen it! Result! Now just need to send off the I'd paperwork this time!!

Lilac
Member

Re: Playing the CANCER card

I was coming home on the train from radiotherapy in February. Normally no problem getting a seat, but this day the train was full so I was going to have to stand for an hour. I didn't think twice - whipped off my woolly hat to reveal my bald head and had a seat offered to me within seconds!

Lizzy1977
Member

Re: Playing the CANCER card

So far...I was going on our running club's annual fell weekend. My chairman persuaded me to go to do a spot of gentle fell walking as it was on my good week. Normally we have to have dormatories so you can't share a room with your OH. I said that as I have cancer, have no hair and one boob I didn't really want to share with a bunch of people I didn't know. He let me and my husband share a room 🙂 the other couples were rather envious!

Oh and in Tesco I didn't actually play the card but the lad behind the till started packing my bags without me asking. It was the day after my second chemo and I must have looked a right state!

I'm now fighting a battle with my travel insurance company as I had to cancel a trip to Oz. I have already played the cancer card with them and haven't got a full refund so time to try Singapore Airlines!

Lizzyx

Mazzalou
Member

Re: Playing the CANCER card

Shame on you Pleasant1 on wanting to hug a dirty old man!!!

Pleasant1
Member

Re: Playing the CANCER card

Mine will probably sound a bit lame; particularly after the School fees one. What a corker!
Firstly, before and due to my MX, I secured an appointment to see a secondary school, prior to the official open evening. I wouldn't have been in a fit physical state to make the open evening anyway so feel totally OK about this. Hopefully it will also be remembered and, despite being out of catchment, one of my beautiful sons, whom I'm determined to turn into a soft, strong man, will get in. It is a state school, a very good one; although not grammar. Off on a mini-tangent now I've had a massive rethink about state versus public and I've finally decided what side of the fence I'm on; not that you care or even want to know, but these days I'm dishing it out like never before…
Secondly I've evaded library fees twice due to mislaying old Beryl Bainbridge. Poor dear got lost under piles of crap and by the time I discovered her she'd notched up a few pounds. Not really bad as our useless Government waste so much of our hard-earned cash, although pretty bad as I don't want them to close libraries.
And, thirdly, the dustbin man offered to collect our bin nearer the house today when I played the cancer card. I told him he only had to do it until next June when I'd be back on form and be only too pleased to return to normal duties. He commented on my style and then told me his father had died of cancer when he was two. I was seriously on the verge of hugging him but he was a bit grubby.
I must up my game…

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Re: Playing the CANCER card

I think we deserve as much special treatment as we can get. Hell, look at what we are going through!

I played the cancer card when I was having my new curtains made. My bed room is freezing cold so when my chemo started my nan gave me money to buy some lovely thermal lined, black out curtains. At first I was told they couldn't be delivered ing after Christmas but, hey presto, as soon as chemo was mentioned they delivered them within 3 weeks. I am so glad I mentioned it as they have really made a huge difference.

You go girls, love this thread.

Kate xx

Crabbit
Member

Re: Playing the CANCER card

Hello everyone,

I have been considering whether to play my C card on this one, but you have helped me to make up my mind.

My son is at nursery at the school where I work, but it's not his local so I had to complete a placing request. Now he is due to start primary school next year and I want him to continue at my one so will certainly put on my form that staff at school know his situation and mine well etc and it will be much less stressful and help me to keep strong at work if he is at the same school!

Good luck everyone.

x

1234
Member

Re: Playing the CANCER card

Hello, there's little old me feeling bad about getting an urgent nhs dental appointment prior to starting chemo - just incase anything needed doing. Usually there are no appointments for months, I explained the situationand they couldn't have been more helpful !!
Love this thread and can't wait to see other "cards".

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Re: Playing the CANCER card

I brought a new car last year (1st time ever) and have had nothing but trouble "Friday afternoon car" I was constantly taking it to the garage approx 15 miles away. Last week had issues with the lights and I played the cancer card saying I was too ill to drive in and wait around (partly true cos I have been ill) They are collecting and bringing the car back this Friday. 😉 Something positive for change!

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Re: Playing the CANCER card

Hi - Playing the 'cancer card' can sound quite negative as if we are taking advantage of a bad situation. However I do not see it this way! If something makes life easier for us - so we can do more cool stuff rather than horrid stuff - I am all for it!! The best example I have is getting a special pass for Disneyland Paris. I told them I can not stand for v long (true) and get v tired (true). I had medical reports to back me up! So, a pass to the front of every que! I felt a bit guilty the first time we went to the front - but then thought I would swop places with ANYONE in the que! The kids LOVED it and we got to do so much before I had to go and lie down in a darkened room!

There are also lots of Trust funds out there that can help with school fees. It is a L O N G process, but if anyone wants info, pls pm me. Happy to point you in the right direction.

Sadie Xx Xx

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Re: Playing the CANCER card

Well, I have used the card so far to get my daughter an urgent doctors appointment when she had a bad cold last week. Normally you wouldn't get past the receptionist with that, but I told her that I had just had chemo and was on my low immunity week so didn't want to catch anything. Daughter had an appointment within the hour.
My next round if chemo is on Monday, so I'll be shattered by the weekend after. Which means I can't cook either Christmas or Boxing Bay. So family have been invited out on both days, yay! (OH can only do beans on toast and pasta or pizza).
These are bit tame, I know, but sure I can add more interesting ones in the future! 🐵

horsie5050
Member

Re: Playing the CANCER card

Fab thread! As we are amongst friends I feel I can confess...my eldest is applying for boarding schools for her 6th form, I wrote to the burser (unbeknown to daughter) casually mentioning my secondary cancer and how things were a bit tough, I got a letter back offering us 1,000 pounds per term off!!
Brass neck suitably polished...hope you all have a peaceful christmasxxx

Lulu34
Member

Re: Playing the CANCER card

I have played it a number of times over the years.... Sometimes cos I was so upset at the unfairness of everything and having cancer on top of what ever my issue was that I burst out crying and would say and iv got cancer.....

But one day I got a call from virgin wanting me to upgrade to a more expensive pach but I managed to wangle a bigger package and lower payments thanks to the cancer card!

gill13
Member

Re: Playing the CANCER card

Nice one Jude, i haven't really used it yet, but will be following thread for good ideas
I would have used it on Monday night after my daughter had thrown up 3 times, but there was nobody in to try it with!! Doh...

Gillx

GIJaneH
Member

Re: Playing the CANCER card

I walked round John Lewis' make up dept with no hair... to see if any of the highly made up ladies took pity on me. One did... did my face for me... offered me a booking for a facial a few weeks later, which normally cost £15, but she did me complimentary.... POlish those brass necks girls!

A friend of mine whose sister had cancer (in Australia) saw a beret that she thought would be perfect in M&S.. the only one they had was on the model, and they "couldn't take it off". Said friend is VERY unassertive and timid. She was so desperate for her sister, that she said very firmly "my sister has cancer, and you CAN"... they did!

great thread - there have to be some compensations to this wretched disease - and we should take them!

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Re: Playing the CANCER card

I rang the Dr's surgery this morning to book an app to get my flu jab. Receptionist said in a very snooty voice "oh your a bit late, I cant get you in untill late next week now" My reply was "no sorry, it has to be this week because I'm due to start chemo on monday" her reply "can you come in tomorrow morning at 9.30 ?"

Love the idea of this thread !