I lost my beautiful wife to this vile disease after a heroic five year struggle earlier this week. Now going through the painful and necessary tasks afterwards.
One is arranging her funeral, which we refused point blank to discuss on the basis it wouldn’t be happening for a long time. A good idea at the time although now I am making sure she has the best send off / celebration we can manage.
Related to that, I recall a thread on the forum last month on the subject of dealing with death. Amongst much practical advice there were a number of poems including one beautiful piece which I am thinking of including in the service. I can’t remember specific lines…it was very much about loved ones still being with you after they had departed. It brought me to tears as I read it and sums up my wife’s feelings so well.
I have trawled the archive and can’t find it again…would somebody be able to help me track it down?
The forum was a great tonic for my darling in recent times and the strength and humour which comes from the messages never ceases to inpire and humble me. Good luck to all of you in your battles.
I am so sorry to hear of your wife’s death, you and your family must be devastated.
The link above is to a couple of lovely poems posted by Thistle but there is another that I love by Henry Scott Holland called All is Well:-
Death is nothing at all,
I have only slipped into the next room
I am I and you are you
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by my old familiar name,
Speak to me in the easy way which you always used
Put no difference in your tone,
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was,
Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was, there is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near,
Just around the corner.
All is well.
Hope you like the poem below by Mary Frye.
I picked it last year for my Mothers Funeral.
So very sorry for your loss of your wife
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.
hi , just wanted tosay sorry about the loss of your wife, here i send another poem to you
footprints
One night a man had a dream
He dreamed he was walking
along the beach with the Lord
Across the sky flashed scenes from
his life.For each scene he noticed
two sets of footprints in the sand,
one belonging to him the other to
the Lord.
When the last scene of his life flashed
before him, he looked back at the footprints
in the sand.He noticed that many times along
the path of his life there was only one set of
footprints.He also noticed that it happened at
the very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This really botheredhimand he
questioned the Lord about it"Lord,you
said that once i decidedto follow you,youd
walk with me all the way.But i have noticed
that during the most troublesome times.
in my life, there is only one set of footprints.
i dont understand why when i needed you
most you would leave me."
The LORD replied, " My precious precious
child,I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering when
you see only one set of footprints ,it was
then that i carried you.
i hope that when you read this it will give you comfort
that there might be somone up there that helps us in
our times of need.
god bless you all
may the angels above keep you safe
So sorry to hear of your loss. I’ve been doing a bit of hunting around the net with my own funeral in mind (though hopefully still some considerable time off).
Here are a couple I have picked out for myself. I sincerely hope you find them of some comfort.
Crossing the Bar
Sunset and evening star,
And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
When I put out to sea,
But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
Turns again home.
Twilight and evening bell,
And after that the dark!
And may there be no sadness or farewell,
When I embark;
When death comes
like the hungry bear in autumn;
when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse
to buy me, and snaps the purse shut;
when death comes
like the measle-pox
when death comes
like an iceberg between the shoulder blades,
I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering:
what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?
And therefore I look upon everything
as a brotherhood and a sisterhood,
and I look upon time as no more than an idea,
and I consider eternity as another possibility,
and I think of each life as a flower, as common
as a field daisy, and as singular,
and each name a comfortable music in the mouth,
tending, as all music does, toward silence,
and each body a lion of courage, and something
precious to the earth.
When it’s over, I want to say all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.
When it’s over, I don’t want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened,
or full of argument.
I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world