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Positively reflecting

18 REPLIES 18
LinRowan
Member

Re: Positively reflecting

Seabreeze, you give me hope! Right now, seven weeks on from surgery, even finishing painting the skirting-boards feels like a triumph. It's nice to think I will have strength and energy again!!

 

(Plus your name brought a little waft of relief to one suffering the effects of a personal as well as a national heatwave!)

 

Lin

Seabreeze
Member

Re: Positively reflecting

Hi,

Realising that I was putting loads of things on hold for tomorrow (and prioritising work)...rather than living for today (within reason)!

A couple of years on and I have just laid a patio with 600 x 300 mm stone pavers, lifted by moi! A few years ago I would have been flopped over the delivery! Felt good after the last few years.

Plus think it helped rebalance my shoulders a tad. 

Seabreeze x

ladybowler
Community Champion

Re: Positively reflecting

Kala

 

It really does make you stop and think about what is important in your life doesnt it xxxx

Patriciamay
Member

Re: Positively reflecting

Kala, how lovely of you, you made me cry.  All the best to you in your treatment. Xx

Kala
Member

Re: Positively reflecting

Patricia, I feel exactly the same. My life was like clockwork. Get up go to work come home ,eat and sleep. The news hits you but after a while you realise, Jeesh I need a minute to reflect everything here! 

Had my first chemo last week. I'm able to take an hour to walk my dogs, not rush rush rush them so I won't be late. I'm able to see my grandchildren more than once a week, I'm able to read three books a week instead of one a year if I'm lucky. Of course I would rather not have the c but it took this to realise my life was passing by and I was missing such precious important simple exciting amazing things which I should have been doing, regardless. 

You have inspired me. Doing things for ME, like you said 🤗 . I love life and I'm so happy to be able to take the time now to do the things I presumed I never had time to do. 

Yes I spend more time at the hospital than I do at home but hey !! I can do it all at my pace . No rush rush rush for me for quite some time . I wish you all the happiness in the world xxx 

Mai7
Community Champion

Re: Positively reflecting

Hi Lin, glad to help, I certainly find music helps a lot with dealing with the full spectrum of emotions. Another similar song for strength is "Superheroes" by The Script.

 

If I'm feeling very isolated I like the song "flares" by The Script, it reminds me there are others out there who will support me and Im never alone.

 

Best wishes

LinRowan
Member

Re: Positively reflecting

Thank you for reminding me about that song! 'I Get Knocked Down' is now added to the playlist in my head,  its a good cheerer-upper.

 

Lin

Mai7
Community Champion

Re: Positively reflecting

This is a great thread and I can certainly relate to what others feel, like putting yourself first more, enjoying and appreciating the moment, feeling less tolerant of trivia and bad books etc! I was totally shocked that this could happen to **me**, isn't cancer something that happens to other people?  but now realise that cancer does not care who it chooses.  I was a frequent drinker, within standard guidelines, but haven't touched alcohol since my diagnosis and have made further improvements to my already healthy diet. I feel really fit and well and am ideal weight for height etc, 

 

My favourite songs at the moment which keep me feeling good are Avril Lavigne: 'Who Knows' and 'Freak Out.  I also like the old tub-thumping song "I get knocked down"

 

feistyflora
Member

Re: Positively reflecting

Having this illness can change not only the way you think but also how you behave. In the past I would start reading a book and doggedly plough through it to the bitter end but now, if a story doesn't grab me within the first few pages it either goes off to the charity shop or in the bin because my time is precious and I don't want to waste it. I am much more direct in my dealings with people than I used to be - "say what you mean and mean what you say" is my new motto (even if it does put some people's noses out of joint) and you know what, it is liberating! 

ann-m
Community Champion

Re: Positively reflecting

Whoops, double post!

 

ann-m
Community Champion

Re: Positively reflecting

What a great thread, thanks for starting it, Flora. 

Well, for me, getting a bc diagnosis was completely out of the blue, I had no symptoms, went for routine screening - nearly didn't go & came back from holiday to find the 'thick' envelope for an appointment the next day.  I was so convinced it wasn't bc, that I was not even anxious when waiting for the biopsy results, then...

'Wot? Me? cancer? are you mad?!!! 😳😧

So I did not go through the anxiety of finding symptoms, getting referred etc. 

Around the time I was diagnosed, someone I knew who was younger than me, had a life changing stroke. In comparison, I had an early bc diagnosis where full recovery is the norm, so that certainly put it into perspective for me. 

Overall, I have found my bc experience positive. Screening did its job, the team I had were reassuring, I now feel fitter than I was before & stopped the 🍷O'clock habit, although I certainly enjoy a wine when I have it!

I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but, overall I have felt lucky & for me it has brought home the importance of making the most of what you have & valuing it. 

ann x

 

 

ladybowler
Community Champion

Re: Positively reflecting

Patriciamay

 

It certainly is, but we also have to remember not to be too strong and to ask for help when we need it.

 

Many years ago I was in Jamaica with a friend of mine, we were climbing up Dunns River Falls, as you know I have a slight disability, the guide kept offering to help me climb I kept declining the offer, my friend explained that I wanted to do it myself but that if I couldnt I would ask for help.  I did on a couple of occasions when I was having to step up a rather high part but on the whole I did it.

 

Helena xx

Patriciamay
Member

Re: Positively reflecting

Thanks RF, that is the first time I have said that out loud.

 

lovely LadyB, I'm going to steal that quote on your friends card - a very  good reminder. Xxx

RunningMum13
Member

Re: Positively reflecting

Hi Patricia May,

 

So inspirational to read your post and hear the positive changes you have made in your life, the saying "every cloud has a silver lining" seems to sum it up.

We have the opportunity to learn and grow from experiences in life (however difficult they may be), and we have to grasp that and be that warrior! X

ladybowler
Community Champion

Re: Positively reflecting

Feistyflora

 

My perspective on life has totally changed since my diagnosis, the things that I used to think were important I have realised in the great scheme of things they are not. I dont let people get to me the way I used to and I definitely do not allow their problems to be mine.  I am sooo grateful to my friends, family and a particular lady at work who has seen me through all of this.

 

My best friend sent me a card which is always on the side in my lounge, for days when I am perhaps feeling a bit low, it says "You are stronger than you think and braver than you feel", Says it all for me.

 

My favourite song is Albatross by Fleetwood Mac (oh dear showing my age), it has always been a tune that when I hear I feel happy and content, any worries I have just melt away.

 

Helena

 

 

Patriciamay
Member

Re: Positively reflecting

Lovely posts Running mum and flora.
Patriciamay
Member

Re: Positively reflecting

Hi

what a brilliant thread, thank you for getting it out there.  Being told I had cancer has completely changed my life for the better.  Obviously wouldn't wish it on anyone, and would rather of not had.

 

 Although I am an exercise freak, I had been drinking far too much alcohol for some time, I stopped drinking immediately which has given me back several hours in the day.  Bit complicated but if you drink a bottle of wine twice a week, you are either on another planet for a couple of days or fighting a hangover.  Anyhow I stopped and  I don't miss it at all.

 

as a consequence of cancer my health has improved 100% .  My BP and heart rate is excellent and I feel brilliant.  My life was full of worry and anxiety, never stopping to appreciate today, the moment.  Every day and everything is now precious.  I do things for me now, which is something I have never done, it's always been my children many work or my husband, but now I do things for me.  That might just be going for a bike ride, but I do it when I choose to do it.  

 

Also I understand better how much people care for me which I had taken for granted for many years.  It brought out the "warrior" in me, cos I wasn't going to let it change my life for the worse. 

 

Love to all to all going through this awful phase in your life, there is a new way. Xxxxx

RunningMum13
Member

Re: Positively reflecting

Hi Feisty Flora,

 

I think there are many positives to be taken from our experience. We realise how strong and capable we are, and it helps us to appreciate our friends and family who have been with us every step of the way. It's certainly shifted my perspective a little, there are some things that are no longer important. I also feel more confident in myself and more likely to speak out.

I'll take a listen to the song you mentioned. I have a favourite song too it's New Dawn, New Day by Nina Simone.

 

Onwards & upwards

Donna.x

feistyflora
Member

Positively reflecting

Are there any positives about getting cancer? Well the shock of that diagnosis does concentrate your mind and make you think hard about how you have been living your life in the past, if there are any changes that you need to make and whether you might wish to do some things differently in the future. For me the song Garden Party says it all, it isn't a new one but there are some very wise words in the chorus.