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Post op & twice the size

163 REPLIES 163
Kindensurprise
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Re: Post op & twice the size

Hi Leesha

Have sent you a PM. You ok?

Kinden
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Re: Post op & twice the size

Well I am now officially fed up with the snow!!! Spent all day in hospital yesterday - saw doc at 10am didnt get herceptin til 5m didnt get hom til 8.30pm!!!!!!

OH got charged with drink driving....(3x leagl limit!! Pillock) so just question of how long the ban will be for - im so angry with him about it - cos he doesnt learn.

Oh well finished ranting now - kids o n half term next week so that'll be nice. Hope the waether good for riding.

how you doing?

Leesha

Kindensurprise
Member

Re: Post op & twice the size

Hiya

Hope you've had a better day again today with the drugs having had more time to take effect.

You may well be right about the hip, I'll see how it goes.

Had another of my free aromatherapy massages today. I got 6 via my bcn, and the therapist offered me another 6, which is great. After that I can pay for them, which I probably will do as it's lovely and I really like the lady who does me. I have long sonce gotten over the fact that it's in the Hospice.

We've no snow. Well, there were a few specks earlier, but nothing really. There is some snow up on the 'mountain', butnot in the towns. I can't believe how the whole of the UK goes into reverse when there's snow. You got much? Schools closed?

Anyway, hope you're getting lots of rest

Hugs
Kinden
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Re: Post op & twice the size

sitting in bed with laptop - how decadant. had a lazy day today - youngest stayed at friends last night & tonight - so i didnt have to worry about feeding & taking to school _ what an amazing friend. Eldest is foghting off a rotten cold so shes been asleep most of the time & not really eating.
Pain killers have dulled it - think it takes time to build up. Chest area not as hot so antibiotics must be kicking in.
Your other hip prob taking more of your weight if the other ones got arthritis - maybe a good chiro session needed.
I think that after going through cancer - our view of previous things in our life changes - so maybe work isnt as important to you or youve chnaged but it hasnt. Dont beat yourself up about it - make 2009 (year of the Ox) agood one. I am.

Im getting used to this site now.
You got snow? we have makes me laugh how the country grinds to a halt!

take care
leesha

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Re: Post op & twice the size

sitting in bed with laptop - how decadant. had a lazy day today - youngest stayed at friends last night & tonight - so i didnt have to worry about feeding & taking to school _ what an amazing friend. Eldest is foghting off a rotten cold so shes been asleep most of the time & not really eating.
Pain killers have dulled it - think it takes time to build up. Chest area not as hot so antibiotics must be kicking in.
Your other hip prob taking more of your weight if the other ones got arthritis - maybe a good chiro session needed.
I think that after going through cancer - our view of previous things in our life changes - so maybe work isnt as important to you or youve chnaged but it hasnt. Dont beat yourself up about it - make 2009 (year of the Ox) agood one. I am.

Im getting used to this site now.
You got snow? we have makes me laugh how the country grinds to a halt!

take care
leesha

Kindensurprise
Member

Re: Post op & twice the size

Hi Leesha

Sorry that you're having such a hard time with the Herceptin etc.

May be it's partly because you've been working so hard getting all the tax returns in by last Friday? If it's a reaction to the drugs, what do they then do about giving you more drugs?

Hope the antibiotics and painkillers kick in today for you. If the painkillers aren't strong enough, can you get something stronger, even oromorph?

I'm doing ok, getting used to being back at work even though everything is so different now, and I'm not as happy at work as I was before diagnosis, which is weird for me cos I've always really enjoyed my job. The hip xray showed that I have osteo-arthritis in my right hip, but it doesn't hurt at all. I still don't know why my left hip does hurt, but as long as it's not bone mets I'm not worried.

Take great care, let others look after you as much as you can and let me know how you are

Hugs

Kinden
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Re: Post op & twice the size

hi - after going through chemo & rads with no real problems - this hrceptin & lapatinib lark is causing me more problems.
after the itchy rash going - ive now got inflammation all around the site of the mast and feel like ive been kicked in the ribs! had high temp all weekend (thought i was getting kids cold) went to hospital yesterday - got some antibiotics andpainkillers (not that theye dulled it yet) hoping it not cellulitis - they think it more areaction from the drugs. doesnt explain the raised infection level though.
hey ho - onwards and upwards hopefully an easier month now and bit of me time.

hope you ok
leesha

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Re: Post op & twice the size

I hate the new format!! - thought id got the wrong site!!

Glad about the bone scan - not surprised you thought the worst. We all do it. Worrying about it too wont help tiredness ect.

Loooking forward to next month and an easier time. Im planning a trip to Vancouver next christmas to see my sister. Found the flights - just got to save the cash then i can book. So hopefully by March I will have it sorted. Im really excited about it.

The herceptin will be over by then too. Just have to sort travel insurance. and new passports (ours got burnt in fire!!)

Hope your daughter enjoys her riding. I am so looking forward to doing more of it next month.

Take care
bye for now
Leesha

Kindensurprise
Member

Re: Post op & twice the size

Hi Leesha

Having a bit of difficulty negotiating the new site!

The bone scan was clear according to the radiologist, hooray. I went in in the morning and was told that there was a 'lucent area' on the x ray which is why I needed the bone scan. It took 3 of them and 3 attempts to find a vein for the radioactive injection, so I was glad again that I had had the PICC line in for chemo. Afterwards, she let me look at the scan. It was really weird seeing your own skeleton (and the flesh around it!)Feel so relieved, as had let my mind run away with thoughts of not seeing out this year.

Am gradually getting back into the swing of things at work, feeling a bit more settled. I'm sure you're flat out with the 31st Jan deadline coming up.

My eldest has started pony club at a new stables. It's much stricter than the other one, which is probably good for her.

Well done on towing the trailer, but don't let OH get away with doing nothing for you!

Good luck with riding again. I'm going to start singing lessons again when I get my hearing aid and can hopefully hear better.

Hope the Herceptin continues to be easy for you. How long are you having it for?
Best wishes

Kinden
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Re: Post op & twice the size

Hi - 2009 has got to better for all of us - how much worse can it be?
The itching has calmed down thanks to piriton. It was all over....def an allergic reaction to something.

re fire - still waiting on insurance assessor and building quotes.

Once jan over can concentrate on other things - too much on with tax return deadlinf of 31st!

Dont put yourself under too much pressure to push to getting back into the swing of work.. step at a time....find time to do enjoyably selfish things. Im planning a trip to vancouver for the end of year - hopefully to visit my sister.

I've also achieved thia week - i towed our horse trailer for the first time on saturday (a nervous wreck i was!) but dont need to reply on oh now. Daft really cos id happily drive a 7.5 t lorry. anyway i did it.

Next month - ive promised im going to start riding again.

Lifes for enjoying.

Hopefully the xray will be ok - ill be thinking of you - take care

leesha
xx

Kindensurprise
Member

Re: Post op & twice the size

Hiya

Can't believe your oh, and what a long bail date, a long time to be under that stress.

Nightmare re the fire, hope you've managed to sort things out now.

Glad Herceptin is easy for you. The itching may be nothing to do with that as I have been v itchy in my breast + surounding area these past few weeks, although I don't know where your itching is.

Finding work quite hard as so much has changed and being part time I can't fully get into the swing of things, but am too knackered to do more than part time.

Have had a painful hip for a while, had an X-ray this week and am now being sent for a nuclear bone scan on Tues, so am terrified but glad I am getting seen so quickly.

Really hope 2009 so far has been heaps better than 2008 for you and your family

Take care

Kinden
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Re: Post op & twice the size

Glad to know you had good time xmas - and that you're back at work. Go for it live life to the full!!

Xmas good - thinking 2008 couldnt get any worse

but

three weeks before xmas my stupid oh got arrested for drink driving !!! waiting for blood results to see if over limit. So hes on bail till 27th Feb!!

Then on dec 30th - we had fire in my office!!!! luckliy oh got up at 3.30am to use bathroom. - whole office gutted all paperwork computeres etc files!!!! but no one injured and the rest of house ok!!!!!

So 2009 got to be a good year.

Herceptin a doddled in comparision!!!! - although now got a allergic reaction to something and cant stop itching!!!!

Work a blast!

Am going out more with friends ect - living life

talk again

Leesha

Kindensurprise
Member

Re: Post op & twice the size

Hi Leesha

How you doing?
I'm tired having gone back to work (albeit part time for the moment) this week. It is like being the new girl as there have been massive changes in my absence.

Having fewer hot flushes now, still some residual chemo side effects, but have re-discovered my taste for red wine.

Had an amazing Christmas at the Ice Hotel in Lapland, kids beside themselves to see santa arrive on his reindeer sleigh, hotel itself awesome. Ruinously expensive though and so I need to be back at work earning full pay to pay it off!

Am currently in Liverpool. Came over yesterday for a party to celebrate someone's appointment to the judiciary. The old me probably wouldn't have come over, not spent the money on flight and hotel, not been away from OH and kids,but now I just think that I'll live life to the full and enjoy, we never know if we're going to get secondaries etc. I don't want to talk myself in to having them, but at the moment feel that it's inevitable, just a question of when. Must raise this with onc when I see him on Thurs.

How you doing on herceptin?

Happy New Year

Kinden
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Kindensurprise
Member

Re: Post op & twice the size

Hiya

I've been on a lot less since getting back home from rads. Soooo good to be home. My eldest daughter's teacher told me one Monday morning that she had been crying the previous Friday cos she missed her Mummy - great as I then had to go from school to the airport to go away for another week, but now the teacher says that she is really happy I'm home to stay.

Bet you're glad to get one herceptin under your belt. How's the tamoxifen going for you? I'm still having hot flushes at night and my hips ache, but I'm not sure if that's a side effect from the taxotere as still have really sore hands and feet, and have veinous cording in my non-surgery side.

Went to my work's Christmas lunch and also saw some police officer 'clients' and they were all really pleased to see me and genuinely glad I'm going back to work on 5th Jan, which was lovely. It feels a bit like I'm beginning to put it behind me.

Kitchen still not done, but am not that bothered as we have cooker and fridge, most units and a bit of worktop!

Well, we're going to Lapland for Christmas. Leaving the Island on 20th, stay with my parents for 3 nights then to northern Sweden, Ice hotel on Christmas eve night, then to Stockholm for New year. Can't wait!

Hope you have a great one too, and thanks for your support through this horrid time

Kinden
xxx

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Re: Post op & twice the size

Sorry not been online for ages - where does the time go?
Rads over - all went well then all skin peeled off under arm - talk about painful!!!
Cardio good - glad to know heart beating well.
Started Herceptin yesterday - all day job - had to be there for six hours to be observed for possible reaction. Temp went high - 38.9 so had to stay till went down with use of fan - talk about freezing. ANy way let me home - so came home and straight to bed. Feel better today. Am taking girls christmas shopping and haircuts today. my next herceptin supposed to be christmas eve....to which i refused the appoint. no way im spending all day in hospital got too much to do. so managed to postpone till 29th.
Hope you have a good christmas - in your new kitchen.
I know what you mean bout washng etc - ours doesnt magically get done!!!!!!

will talk soon - lets hope 2009 is a positive one

Leesha xx

Kindensurprise
Member

Re: Post op & twice the size

Hiya,

Yeh, it does put things into perspective. OH didn't even get me a card for our anniversary, which is what we usually do, and this weekend he has accused me of 'swanning off' to the UK for radiotherapy, as if I've chosen to have bc!! He said he wished it was him, I said so do I.

Have something resembling a kitchen, but still no cooker, big improvement though, although again I'd have done far more in the week than he did in terms of tidying up all the stuff etc. The kids' clothes were strewn around the place, I don't mind him not doing the washing, but not even making it to the washing basket....

You must have finished rads now. Good luck with cardio and onc on Monday. I've got 1 more week of rads, just boosters to go for which I'm being marked up tomorrow.

You do have every right to be happy

Take care

Kinden
xx

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Re: Post op & twice the size

glad your having a more positive time.
things here getting more perspective - and no dont think id realised how much i have been affected by bc and the closer i get to the end of treatment the more time there is to mull things over. Plus having this other crap at the sme time really highlights how much I ve not been happy for a long time in my relationship. So next year is the year for postitive action one way or another. Ive every right to be happy!
2 more rads to go hooray!!! then cardio & onc on monday....then herceptin

will be glad to have a normal? week with no visit to hospital.

Leesha xxx

Kindensurprise
Member

Re: Post op & twice the size

Hiya

On Tuesday I took out the couple I stayed with the 1st wk of rads, which was lovely, I'm glas they let me do something to thank them.

Had an auntie who's only 10 years older than me come up from Oxford Weds-Fri this week. She was so jolly and laughing the whole time, I found it quite wearing, but did have a nice time, and it was great not to have to have a 'table for one' at the hotel.

This week's hotel MUCH better than last, so will stick with it. I had a 4 poster bed, which was a bit of a waste when I was there alone, but lovely all the same.

Some of the unit cases have been erected, and all the plastering has been done, but still nothing like a kitchen. Friend took pity on us and invited us round but then had to go to the out of hrs Doc with her 14mth old, so she did us a takeaway lamb hotpot instead!

Eldest has nits. Got the stuff from the chemist and have done it but not sure it's worked as she is still scratching. Can't believe OH didn't notice her scratching or the marks on the bedding. Can't stop scratching myself now of course!

Wedding anniversary tomorrow, 7 years. Then OH's birthday on 20th and youngest is 3 on 21st, so a busy week in our family, but all celebrations postponed until my return.

Rads still not bad, just a bit red and sore. Having a good laugh with my team.

You ok?

Do you think you've dealt with the psychological effects of having bc yet, cos I don't think I have, I still can't get my head around being a person with cancer.

Will check in in the week to see how you are.

Hugs

Kinden
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Re: Post op & twice the size

At least you'll have nice new kitchen before christmas..!! I hope anyway.
My rads ok - skin not sore at all not itredness apart from the usual from life in general.
Hopefully this week will see us knowing where we are going financially - I managed to not open some post and put it down in September other things on my mind then put stuff ont top of it and forgot about it. Hence the hassle - trying to rectify the error and get things paid up and sorted.

OH is doin his best - got chance to go back to Scotland in a few weeks so aould be earning some reg money up to christmas which would be lovely and allow me to breathe. I would just love to sit down put feet up and not think about cashflow!!!! Oh well such is life.

Plus weather awful so hat ebeing outside - its so cold even with a hat. Roll on long hair again!!

Only 2 weeks to go then no more rads - cant believe it.

Take care

Speak soon

Leesha

Kindensurprise
Member

Re: Post op & twice the size

Hiya

Sorry you're having such a hard time financially, it puts strain on other things too doesn't it? Hope OH gets something really soon.

I came home Friday to an absolute tip of a house and feel like I have spent the whole weekend cleaning and washing, but we are having a new kitchen and the old one has just been ripped out so there is dust everywhere. It wouldn't have been perfect if I'd been the one at home, but it would have been a lot better. Have had to live on takeaways and sandwiches as we have no cooker at all, just a sink and washing machine.

Rads still ok, and one of the therapists has got me a deal at a different hotel starting tomorrow, which has a restaurant that is open and a telephone in the bedroom, which the other one didn't have, so that's already an improvement. Remainder of breast is feeling fairly sore now but skin still ok. You?

Not feeling as tired as I feared, probably cos I feel sooooo much better than on chemo.

Hang in there hon, don't work too hard, get some rest when you can.

How's the foal doing?

Take care
Kinden
xx

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Re: Post op & twice the size

Glad to hear from you - sounds like you've been busy. Rads is defo easy - my skin seems ok - i have to keep reminding myself to put the cream on.

Am busy working - financially our lifes a mess at moment.
Something we could really do without - so dont even have the time to be ill.

OH is doing all he can to get work. I could do with working full time really. but rads get in the way.

will be glad to get this year out the way. Fresh start for 2009 something positive i hope.

Sorry to be on such a downer

Leesha xx

Kindensurprise
Member

Re: Post op & twice the size

Hi Leesha

Have been incommunicado for a while as not near any online access, and the coverage for it and my mobile in my hotel is shockingly bad.

Had a great 1st week, then my family came over for half term and we did lots of stuff like taking the kids to Chester Zoo and hitting the shops at Cheshire Oaks (spent an absolute fortune) as there's so much more variety than we have on the Island.

Schoolfriends came and took me away to Llandudno for the weekend and we had a blast, have not laughed so much in ages.

Have been on my own since Monday lunch time and sleeping a lot to catch up with what I missed + because of tiredness caused by rads. They're ok though, aren't they? I've had 12 now and skin is holding up well. How's yours going? Staff are lovely and the bc nurse here knows how to have a giggle, so all in all ok, just far from home and family. Mind you, our kitchen was ripped out during half term, so I'm glad not to be there!

Hope you're ok. Belated happy birthday. Hope OH is behaving himself. Mine seems to be at the moment, has sent some quite sweet e mails and is stepping up to the plate re doing everything for the kids.

take care, love
Kinden
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Re: Post op & twice the size

Opera hey how the other half lives.... Im helping to write an essay on Jekyll & Hyde!!!! i know which id rather!
Glad your being looked after enjoy it- I was told to use the cream twice a day to start then as oftenm as necessary.

Its the being arranged on the 'slab' that takes the longest.

Had my 41st b'day yesterday...like any other oh not made an effort as usual - girls did manage a card which for the first time was paid for with their own money so was quite special. BUt as usual I spent it taxiing.

Well only 2 sessions next week - then off shopping iwht girsl on wednesday quite looking forward to that.

Take care speak soon xx
Leesha

I

Kindensurprise
Member

Re: Post op & twice the size

Hiya

Flight was fine, all arramgements worked well so far. Am staying in the most beautiful house, it's kind of a Victorian mansion, and I feel a bit 'Lost in Austen' here. Work colleague's wife is looking after me really well and I think likes having someone to talk to. Going to the Opera tomorrow night, really excited as we don't get opera on the Island!

Was on the slab for 50 mins yesterday, had to wait for them to call the most senior person as there was 'a discrepancy' between what they were seeing and what was written down. Still, as you say, didn't feel a thing. Should be shorter today.

Have you been told how often to use the aqueous cream? Must remember to ask today.

Hope the road works don't delay you too much
Kinden
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Re: Post op & twice the size

Well got the first one over with - bit of nothing really seems wierd that soemthing you cant feel will do some good.
its the drive to cheltenham and back that took the logest - with the roadworks.
Got then to change a load of appoints - cos i had some at 3 & 4 o clock - which meant arrnaging someone else t collect kids
So now they are all in the morning.
Got to go got arguing Kids!!!! best of luck with the flight over and rest of treatment.
Leesha

Kindensurprise
Member

Re: Post op & twice the size

So it looks like we are starting our rads on the same day. How come you only got 2 rads in half term? I'll have 5 that week!

I'm taking my Tamoxifen at night, which is what they advise here. I feel a bit sick on it, and stiff like an old lady, but that could just be the Taxotere wearing off still. The Dr who was at the Younger Women's Forum in Reading (who was fab and really honest) last week said that Tam is a really great drug and for those of us who are ER+ and PR+ it is really well worth taking. There is discussion as to whether 5 years is enough, or whether we ought to have another drug, something like Letrozole, for 5 years afterwards, we are early enough in our Tam for them to have decided what's best by the time we've done our 5 years.

Hope you had a lovely birthday for your daughter - bet you can't believe she's a teenager. It's nice for grandma that they ask her for cake, I guess tehy get your cake all the time.

Well, I'm off across to the UK tomorrow. Hope it's not as windy as today or my flight my be blown away.

Good luck with your rads mate, and speak to you soon
Kinden
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Re: Post op & twice the size

I know what u mean re the felt pen - i was told it would wash off - Ive washed every day since monday like you do and its still there. Fading but there. Felt a bit like a dot to dot puzzle - also covered in sellotape!!

Know what you mean about the simulator - not the comfyest of positions - although have to say I could have nodded off if they didnt keep coming in and switching off the light moving th emachine etc!! Did have neck ache by the end - 45 mins i was on it they did apologise for the length of time..my consultant got called away on an emergency whilst i was on the machine!!!
First appt MOnday 20th...
So far Tamoxifen ok - struggled to rememebr this morning got to get into the habit. Am hoping for the weight loss side effect ...when i read all the possible side effects i did think what am i doing? but i swallowed it anyway.

Looking forward to half term and chilling a bit. only got 2 rads that week.

My youngest is 13 tomorrow - so taking her shopping on Sat. Chocolate cake for tea tomorrow - the girls always ring my mum and request a cake for their b'days. Never ask me.........

Take care -
Leesha.

Kindensurprise
Member

Re: Post op & twice the size

Hi Leesha

So glad you're back to riding again, and that the penny has dropped with OH - hope he's still helping, and you're not too busy with work.

I've had to have 2 planning sessions. Last Monday I had a CT scan and 2 tattoos, yesterday I had to go back, and to my surprise they put a whole load of felt pen on me, then covered it with see-through sticking plaster, none of which I was expecting and I had worn a top that showed a lot of it as it goes to the bottom of my neck and had to fly back with it all showing - wish they'd told me! I was on the simulator machine for over half an hour and my neck was hurting afterwards. I was also knackered from the 5.30am start to get the 7am flight. Starting next Mon, so am trying to get a lot of stuff sorted here before I go, mainly for the kids. I'll miss them so much. My rads will finish on 28th Nov.

Went to the Younger Women's forum in Reading on Friday and Saturday and had a brilliant time meeting others in a similar position. Some of the speakers were excellent as well. I did feel a bit guilty about going away so close to my rads but felt psychologically that I needed to go, so I went and am really glad I went. I saw my parents while I was away and they spoke a lot more about me having cancer than when they were here in July. They both said that they would rather it was them than me, which was sweet.

Am still suffering side effects from the horrid taxotere, but I suppose it is only just 3 weeks, today I would have had the next one. Instead, today I start Tamoxifen, so we'll have to compare notes on any side effects of that.

I don't know about any herceptin trials. I think they keep even more of an eye on you if you go on a trial. I'm HER- so won't have to go through that. Let me know how you get on. Are you triple positive?

I'll have access to the net hopefully for most of the time I'm away and will keep in touch. After the first 2 weekends (when family will be over cos it's half term) I'll be home every weekend, so will be checking this thread then.

Here's to easy rads for us all!!

Hugs
Kinden
xx

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Re: Post op & twice the size

I did ride - cant believe how nervous i was - rode again yesterday adn was much more relaxed.

Had rads planning yesterday - that was ok.
rads all start next monday until nov 19th.
got my tamoxifen as well so go to start taking that ...for 5 years
talking about going onto a trial for the herceptin stage - might manage if lucky to get the arm that takes tablets form of the other drug rather than 3 weekly cycles of herceptin. will decid on monday.
am assuming you in liverpool having rads - so hopefully hear from you when your back

hugs xx leesha

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Re: Post op & twice the size

Fog def lifted - not tired apart from working tired and not breathless. Finally feeling normal!!!!!
Rad planning next monday.

That must have been scary finding a lump - im paranoid about it in the other breast...

No news on application ..hes got bits of work.... I def dont like this full time lark....got work coming out of my ears.....
finally penny dropped with OH - he lit fire , cleaned kitchen cooked tea ect yesterday...and guess what found out how to use washing machine my god ive died and gone to heaven.....long may it last.... so at least i dont have to worry about that for the moment.

Im going to try to find the time to ride at weekend....hope the weathers good.... all i seem to do is muck out & feed them the rush to work.

Best of luck with the rads .. enjoy seeing everyone.

hugs

Leesha

Kindensurprise
Member

Re: Post op & twice the size

You ok, and not working too hard?

Have had my planning visit to the UK. Got my tattoos, only 2 which is less than I thought. Am having rads to breast, underarm and collar bone, so thought I'd be a real dot to dot. Had massive nose bleed in the CT scan room.

More scarily, found a lump in left breast (had WLE of r breast), had mammogram today and it is nothing sinister, but was a worrying time even thought I couldn't have got more cancer whilst having chemo.

Am having 6 weeks rads - 25 to all 3 areas then 5 boosters just to the breast. Am staying with someone I know through work for the 1st week, family over 2nd week as it's half term, then various friends from home coming up, my parents and an auntie, so hope not ot be too lonely. Have gone for a hotel for last 4 wks as thought self catering would be too lonely and I'd get no dinner in a B+B.

Hope the FEC fog has gone for the last time. Any news on OH's job application?

Kinden
x

Kindensurprise
Member

Re: Post op & twice the size

I'm really tired too. I suppose we shouldn't be surprised after 6 cycles of toxic drugs.

I was also feeling low last week. Even though it's horrid, I felt a bit abandoned by not having chemo anymore and not having my weekly trip to the hospital for line flushing. So, I booked to go on the Younger Women's Forum to Reading as I think it will help me deal with the psychological effects of the diagnosis, and be a laugh as well. Am really looking forward to it.

Got my rads planning on Monday and have to catch a flight at 0700 so that will be a shock to the system! Am having a CT scan for the tattoos.

Glad your OH has applied for a job; it must be stressful both being self employed.

Fab to hear about the foal.

Still haven't fancied a glass of red

Hope you're well.

Kinden

xx

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Re: Post op & twice the size

Fog lifting - been really tired this time - maybe its that feeling of dont have to battle to the next three weekly appoint? Been bit low yesterday should be feeling glad. weird. Got appoint for rads planning on monday... too soon so i re booked it for the foll week...cant cope with that bit yet.
HArd one having to stay away for rads ... a cottage maybe too isolated - B&B or hotel might mean you get company when you want it.
OH def do it diff to how i would... to make amtters harder for us his work has really taken a down turn so that puts financial strain on eveything just when u dont need it. Ivwe got piles of work. Anyway hes applied for a job for the local council as a plasterer - rather than being self employed at least it will be reg money and paid hols.
things will pick up.
the foals great - still got curly ears....doing really well...its lovely to see...hes really friendly too very confident.

hope the pains are easing - hae u managed a good glass of red yet?

Leesha xxx

Kindensurprise
Member

Re: Post op & twice the size

Hiya

Had a horrible night + day yesterday, really bad pains,etc etc, but feeling quite a lot better today. Can't help thinking how differently I'd behave to how OH is if it was him who was undergoing chemo. Hope yours is looking after you whilst you are coming out of the final FEC fog, and that it's not too bad for you this time.

Are you having rads? I can't decide where to stay for the last 3 weeks of mine. I could go for a B+B or cottage or hotel, can't decide which would be least lonely.

OH has taken them both off to eldest's riding lesson, so will make use of the time and rest now.

How's the foal doing?

Kinden
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Re: Post op & twice the size

Well thats it =went to mobile unit - had last one - jst this week to get through - got my follow up appoint for end oct .cant believe it really ...
had a good nights sleep.
Hope you get to have that glass of red soon.

cheers

lEESHA

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Re: Post op & twice the size

Wow, congrats on the foal, that's so exciting.

Got some sleep last night + felt better today, although now the post-steroid low is kicking in with the TAX aches and pains so am expecting a bad few days, but knowing it's the last time I have to do this is a big boost.

Can't wait to fancy a glass of red again!

Good luck tomorrow, and rest cos you need it. You resting might make OH realise that that's what you need, him to take over and do stuff.

Hugs

Kinden
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Re: Post op & twice the size

what a weekend!!!! glad yr mum & little one ok...

cold didnt develop thankfully...bloods done 2day (what acaddle nurse couldnt get anything so had to see doc) so 3/4 hr later theres enough to send. Am tired trying to get piles of work done before friday. even worked till midnight last night, but cant keep on doing it. OH hasnt worked 4 3 weeks now. the job booked in has been delayed...just when u dont need to be worrying about finances..So ive got loads of work - shame he cant do it. So ive been niggling at him all week getting annoyed cos he doesnt seem to be doing anything to get other work in...or doing anything useful around the house.like cooking....washing...men!!!!
on the bright side - we had a lovely surprise monday morning..we had afoal arrive...it was a wonderful sight...the mare has been hanging on. hes gorgeous...
anyway - triage tmorrow fingers crossed mobile unit.

hope youre feeling bit better....and got some sleep even if doped up.!
must fel nice having line out -
I havent gone off red wine luckily...although guiness is my fave at moment
bye 4 now

take care xxx
Leesha

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Re: Post op & twice the size

Hiya
Mum is out of hospital, and daughter healing well as kids do, hasn't missed any school either.

Had last chemo yesterday, hooray, but have had terrible oesphagus and didn't sleep at all last night as couldn't lay down. Hoping tonight will be better with 6 x usual dose of Omeprazole in me (on Drs advice). Off to bed shortly.

Have had my PICC line out, so will have a real proper shower tomorrow as too knackered tonight. My arm feels light without it, but it was a godsend for me with my terrible veins.

Hope your bloods are ok tomorrow and you can use the mobile unit on Friday.

Hugs

Kinden
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Re: Post op & twice the size

Feeling pants from the steroids - oesophagus really hurting, but it's the last time. TAXOTERE 3 tomorrow if bloods ok.

However, my Mum is in hospital with a heart problem. She already has a pacemaker and it is not stopping her heart from racing, neither is the medication that they are pumping into her. She's in Berkshire, 1 hour flight or 3hrs ferry +4 hours drive away, so can't visit her.

Feel like a glass of red but can't stomach it, even the smell makes me wretch and I'm usually partial to it. My family is certainly getting its money's worth out of the nhs!!!

Hope you're ok and haven't got anything that coudl delay your chemo

Hugs
Kinden
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Re: Post op & twice the size

Glad the show jumping was so successful for both your girls, and nice for you too.

Had a great Saturday; today not so good. Eldest fell over the bannister of the stairs on to a stone floor in the hall way, so we have spent 3 hours in A & E as she hit her head and it turns out she has broken the little finger on her right hand. Poor little thing. The number of times we've told her about not climbing on the bannister though. OH was really impatient at casualty and blaming her for it being her fault that we were there. Brilliant. The head injury is not serious and she has a special double bandage on her hand.

At least we had a fab Saturday!!

Hope you don't develop a cold. I had a sore throat a couple of days ago but happily it came to nothing.

Take care

Kinden
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Re: Post op & twice the size

show kumping waas great - especially with good weather. Eldest came first jupin 2'9 and youngest came 2nd. So both pleased.
It was nice to see some familier faces and catch up.. Feel the beginnings of a cold coming so am desparateky hopeing it wont come to anything..dont want my blood count compromise don weds. The thought of having to postpone treatment is not one i want to have to deal with.

hey ho postivie thoughts only....
glad you have had a really good weekend.

Leesha

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Re: Post op & twice the size

Have had a lovely day. Eldest had swimming lesson this morning, and only 3 out of 8 turned up so with 2 teachers it was almost a private lesson, and she did really well. OH took youngest in pool as well. Then , this afternoon cos it was sunny we all went to the beach and had a great time and an ice cream, with 2 sets of friends. The kids spent ages in the water even though it is freezing, they don't seem to notice.

Also have friend who has just had a baby on Sunday. Went to see her on Monday night in hospital with another girlfriend and felt a little jealous about their normal lives, but it was lovely too and I soon got over it and had a word with myself. After all, with my complete encouragement OH had a vasectomy last year.

Saw the nice onc on Thurs. Am having 6th chemo, again with the reduced dose, and they are going to add intravenous Ranitidine to try to cope with my painful oesophagus. Planning for rads is 6th Oct and start 5 weeks of it on 20th Oct, which will finish on my little one's 3rd birthday 21st Nov. Have booked a place for the famly to come and stay over there with me for half term, so feel a bit more settled about the whole thing now.

Hope the show jumping is fun. I'll be watching the big one's riding lesson tomorrow and will think of you then.

Plenty to see and do in London, but doesn't really matter where you are with good friends, eh?

Enjoy your good week

Kinden
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Re: Post op & twice the size

Had a gtreat meal with friends last night - we all took a course to a friend who had ababy 3 weeks aga and is having rotten time as the ceasar is not healing properly. Shes offf to hospital again on monday to have another operation. Puts things inperspective... so we had a laugh & cuddled baby....
Sounds fun seeing all yr old friends...enjoy it.

I can relate to the nervous bit...i feel abit edgy about last one next friday.

Am off to help with show jumping comp at stables tomorrow - and weather nice what more could i ask for?

Thinking of going to London for my birthday - see a show and whatever..with a few girl friends.

hope u got some nice weather this weekend - it all helps.

hugs
Leesha

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Re: Post op & twice the size

Hiya

Really glad to hear your arm is getting better.

Do what you want for your birthday, not what you think others will want. I don't think I would have said that before all this, but it has made me more selfish.

I was feeling really low on Tuesday. I went for my line cleaning and the nurses seemed more interested in gossip than me. I went in to work after that, had coffee with a QC who is visiting (and who has invited me to stay at his whilst I am having radiotherapy) and had lunch with a friend, all of which really cheered me up.

My school friends from home (Berkshire) are coming up to see me whilst I'm having rads, 5 of them, so I'm really excited about that, and it makes up for not having seen them this summer.

Have appt with onc today and will tell him I want the last TAX even tho it's hideous. Feel strangely nervous, I suppose looking towards rads is a new unknown, and having to be away from my family makes it worse.

Enjoy your good week mate, and what a great idea for your daughter's 16th, fab to have something like that to plan and look forward to.

Speak soon hun

Kinden
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Re: Post op & twice the size

hi thought id let u know arm grad getting better what a relief. roll on next friday get it over and done with. that how i feel now. looking forward to a couple of normal weeks before rads start. and hopeing for some nice weather. My b'day is end oct - so trying to plan something nice not sure what yet. But if i wait for oh to think bout it nothing will happen. He never does b'days or any other celebration. Whereas i like planning surprises.....mt eldest is 16 in Feb - so has asked if she can have aparty... its the day after valentines - so ithought it be nice for her to have something else to look forward to. So am looking for a reasonably priced venue & disco. Shes off to a 16th next sat - all black & white!! (been watching too many US sweet 16 om TFM) Might have to pull in some favours from clients with pubs.....at least itll give me someting else to concentrate on which is a good thing.

how i doing? Got anything planned for after last chemo? mark the week....

I'vwe also been discovering facebook....it must be my age but tis taken me ages to understand it. And i can finally c some benfits to it.

take care leesha

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Re: Post op & twice the size

HI - not so fed up today....took kids to horseball weekend comp - it was great to c everyone again i even did a bit of refereeing- not ridden though. \mind u my arm was still very painful and i was worn out by sunday - my brother came as well so he took over and drove lorry home. \i finally gave in today and rang the helpline at hospital...ha dto go in and get checked out -- it is inflammation but the docs given me stronger painkillers and some cream for the inflammed vein. So hopefully i might get some good sleep and feel better soon.

Glad the school bit went well...and yes it is good to meet other parents...i can remember mine at primary ...i quite often spent 1/2 hour chatting with friends there.. not quite the same when they are at secondary - who wants parents hanging around?

bye for now

xxx
leesha

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Re: Post op & twice the size

Hi Leesha

So sorry that you're feeling poorly again mate. This stuff is so horrid isn't it?

Have you read the thread about really fed up and wanting a rant, something like that anyway, under the chemo section. A lot of the posters on there say that the one before last is the hardest, so we've got the easy one to go.

I think it would be great if our OH's could feel what it's like for a day. Mine did 3hrs work yesterday on a project he's doing as a consultant, and the moaning afterwards about being tired! I am shattered, exhausted all the time and yet he asks me questions relating to his project knowing my chemo brain is shot to pieces!!!!!

I had my 2nd free massage today and it was wonderful. Skin now feeling a bit moisturised for the first time in ages. Hope to fit another session in (get 6 free here) before I come across to England for rads.

Starting school has gone really well so far for my eldest. OH is mostly taking her, but we all went to take and collect her the first day. I hadn't really thought about the social aspect of meeting the other parents outside the school, but that is a bonus.

Anyway mate, have a great sleep and rest more. Do you need to get treatment for your arm?

Take care and hope it passes soon for you
Hugs
Kinden
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Re: Post op & twice the size

Just when i thought it was better.....inflammed arm no sleep tired fed up p***d off and feel sick today. Oh and rubbish weather - thought i'd be feeling good about only having 1 more to go. Even can guiness didnt help! Want someone else to take over for a while - as if that happen. OH has taken kids to school...big deal.... Hope u ok roll on next week i know ill b ok then. just bit of a downer today. Had to happen didnt it.

leesha

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Re: Post op & twice the size

This one went better - tired but no sick - bit groggy - but muddling along - getting done whatever i can then crashing.
Oh stayed at home today to do housework which nice for a change.
Got back from treatment on friday having left dogs for 4 hours on own to lovely mess!!!! Now got chewed door in kitchen and carpet!! so thought i'd vacuum up mess to find cable on vacuum had been eaten!! Cost me a new one !!!!!
Good on the hair front...mine looke like i've got some longer fluffly bits not a lot but a bit....cant wait for it to strat covering...especially in this wet & wind. Scarfs off gone to beanie look its warmer!!!

It's nice thinking only one more to go - seem like a small light at end of tunnel....the rest cant be as bad can it?
take care
xxx
Leesha

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Re: Post op & twice the size

HI Leesha

Hope you're having a nice restful weekend with the FEC-fog soon starting to lift + not sick this time.

I must admit I'm feeling pretty bad, but not as bad as last time. It's more achey than painful this time and I don't feel so much like I'm being stabbed everywhere as being weighed down. Have been really sensible with rest and taken drugs before getting really bad, which is helping. Arms + hands worse than last time though. If it doesn't get any worse, I think I'll be able to face the last one.

Glad back to school went ok. WE go back a week later here, so my eldest starts primary school on Tues, and I will be there come hell or highwater (actually, wehave had a load of rain too!)

Nails are sore, but hair growing back - I will look like a badger as some is really dark and some white, but hey it's hair!!

Speak soon

Kinden
xx