Just remember that being shocked, fearful, upset and emotional are just normal reactions to getting a metastatic diagnosis. There is not set way of dealing with this, and your onc will have had others who had a similar reaction.
Try writing down any questions you may have so you can make sure that you get the answers you need. Your hubby can always ask them if necessary. Writing down the responses is also a good idea because it can be really difficult to remember what is said, although at the time you are sure you will remember.
Welcome to the Breast Cancer Care discussion forums where I am sure you will get lots of good, honest support from the many informed users of this site. I am sorry to hear that you got both a primary and secondary diagnosis at the same time which must have been somewhat of a shock for you , but I am sure you will get lots of support from other users of this site who are travelling a similar path to yourself.
While you are waiting for replies I have put for you below links to some of BCC's publications which I hope you find helpful. Our helpline team are also just a free phone call away if you need to talk to someone in confidence. 0808 800 6000 lines open weekdays 9-5 and Sat 10-2. Another of BCC's services you might find of support is our Secondary Live Chat service which runs each Tuesday evening between 8.30 and 9.30pm, this is facilitated by a nurse and a moderator, where you can 'talk' in real time to others with a secondary diagnosis. I've also put you the link to that for you to have a look at.