Even if you ask and get a poor prognosis, don't take it too much to heart. My original breast cancer was advanced and 13 fo 15 lymph nodes positive and my prognosis for 5 year survival was 40% and that was 13 years ago. I have had cancer in the other breast since then and a local recurrence on that side but am still here and fighting to stay. The best advice I had was from my original surgeon who said just go out and enjoy your life and dont worry what doctors tell you about the statistics of your disease.
Love it Zoe! Hi Zoe
As I said in my last post I was told my prognosis and I don't let it bother me now - came as a shock but none the less today is for living not worrying.
I think with bc you have to do whatever is right for you - a psychologist told me years ago that many of us store up bad things in what she called mental shoe boxes and put them in a cupboard in our minds. Only to come out and be looked at when we want to look at them. So I've had an extension build on my cupboard and got an extra large shoe box - in goes everything about bc and when I've got a minute and I'm not doing anything else I may look in the shoe box again but at the moment I’m too busy getting on with each day!!!!!!
prefer to know Wanting to know does not make you a pessimist, some of us like to know what we are dealing with.
It is nearly a year since I finished chemo and rads and I enjoy everyday. Even if it is a 'shitty' day I am still glad to be experiencing it. I don't want to ever forget how lucky I am to be right here, right now.
I am getting on with my life and loving it. You don't have to be a victim of a prognosis, everyone knows they can be totally wrong. I use it in a positive way as a kick up the bum to remind me to get the most out of my life.
Hi, I made the mistake of asking my prognosis last month after being 2 years down the line from my diagnosis and what the onc. told me left me feeling very down, so I wished I hadnt asked !! Although I knew that my prognosis wouldnt be that great due to my pathology etc, to actually be told to my face was not good. I have picked myself up again though and tell myself the onc. doesnt have a crystal ball and she is obviously basing her info. on stats etc, but as we know so many women do well and I hope and pray I am one of them.
I too would go along with most of what has been said here. When I was first dx very few talked about prognosis or statistics. I know now from reading my notes that mine was not very good and I am so glad 17 years on that I never asked. I suspect that alone would have shortened my survival!!!
I am the same...never asked anything about survival chances or prognosis. I never want to know. I am a very positive person and intend to stay that way! I live each day as it comes and wouldnt want anything hanging over me...
I think you're right. None of us is Mrs Average, there must be massive ranges on each side of the prognosis and for me personally I think I'm better off not asking the question. I can imagine the figures running through my head night after night and the worst thing, worrying about what age my children will be and if I'll live to see their 21st birthday or whatever. I don't worry too much as I say I just get on with it and live each day as it comes (most of the time anyway).
They're only stats Hi DruChurch
Had to add my little bit!!!!!
I had all of my information put into a computer programme and was presented with a % chance of survival over the next 10 years.
My partner is an actuary specialising in life and pensions which means he works with all sorts of stats about mortality! He's a cheerful chap honestly. Anyway once I had digested the figures and spent some time talking to him I realised that the whole thing is about Mrs Average so there's no knowing what is around the corner for any of us.
I like your philosophy of look forward and make the most of today - if you don't want to know what your prognoses is then that's fine do whatever is best for you - you're quite right you can always ask in 20 years time but you can't put the info back if you don't want it!!!!!
Thanks for replying. I so agree with what you say about not dwelling on a number, if they told me I had so much percent chance of surviving five years or whatever, I would be adding up the days and working things out to find out which day I would be meeting my maker!!
I heard of a site on here called Adjuvent Online where if you are a health professional you can sign in and then put in all your details and they come out with your chances of survival and I think some people have pretended they are medical to find out. I have thought of doing this but truly I don't think I will. From the books I've read I have a clue about it but that's as far as I'm going I think.
All we can do is live life as best we can, keep ourselves well and stay positive.
All the best,
I feel exactly the same as you! I have never asked about my prognosis; perhaps, like you, I would have if I was expecting good news but I know that from my pathology results it won't be great. The information has never been offered to me and yet a friend had all her details put into a computer which then popped out her chance of still being alive in 10 years!!!
I don't want to know because I won't live my life or make any decisions according to a generalised statistic. Everyone's disease is different and everyone responds differently to treatment; often those with the best prognosis don't do so well and those with a poor prognosis can surprise their doctors. As a paediatric nurse I have seen many babies and children given minimal chance of survival only for them to do so well and survive against all odds. You have to have hope and not dwell on a number.
Prognosis Did all of you want to know what your prognosis was, did you ask or did someone tell you? I have always avoided the question, never asked and just thought I'll get on with it and hope for the best, live each day as it comes, but I still wonder constantly what my chances are. Am I being pathetic? Even one of my best friends said - yes find out, surely you want to know, but I'm not sure that I do. Once you know, there's no going back and wishing you hadn't asked.
I know from my stats that my prognosis will not be brilliant, maybe that's why I'm holding back, if I thought it would be good news I would probably ask.
Sorry, I'm rambling. Any thoughts anyone??