As the others have said you should be entitled to DLA but as it is getting complicated it is best to get a macmilla adviser to fill it out for you.The problem with benefits these days,especially if you have cancer,have become so complex CAB are not always up to speed.They filled out my DLA and I was turned down, but when macmillan adviser reapplied it was granted.Your husband should also be entitled to cares allowance as I do not think that is means tested.You should also be able to get a blue badge and a diasbled bus pass or train travel card.the badge is useful on days when you are not feeling up tp walking long distances to the shops.
I know what you mean about having worked and not liable to contribution based benefits.I worked al my life until age 58 when I was dx, but because I had taken time out the previous 2 years to care for my sick mother I was short on contributions and I had never claimed sick pay or any other benifit for 20 years.
Good luck with your application.It could have been that you originally applied too early as there is a quqlifying period for DLA and you may also be able to claim on a DS1500 under the 6 month rule.
L xx
