Really can't complain but feeling rubbish..

Hi everyone, when I look at so many threads on this forum my BC really does seem totally insignificant in comparison to what so many ladies are going through to the point where I feel maybe I shouldn’t be here at all?  

 

How can I possibly POSSIBLY complain when found so early G2 IDC, only 14mm and hopefully no lymph nodes involved?

 

I’m now the proud owner of so many booklets of information from BCC and my surgery booked for 20th September but I can’t help feeling that what I have to face is such an insult to the ladies on this forum who are going though total hell.  I don’t feel that I am qualified to help and I do feel that I have absolutely nothing to whinge about with my trivial situation.

 

I’m not in pain and I’m not ill - I just have several pieces of paper now that tell me I have BC - how bonkers is that?

 

Anyway, I do feel incredibly low tonight and I don’t feel like I have the right to feel this way - or do I? :(. Please forgive me for indulging myself when others really are in need just now xx

 

 

 

Anita no matter how long or short your journey you still have those steps to take x never feel you are less important than anyone else and you are entitled to have down days the same as all of us x bug hugs and lots of love

Hi Anita, Well, I haven’t gone to bed yet either.
In that case then, I am a fraud too, espcially as mine was the same as yours but only 7mms!
Please dont beat yourself up. You have every right to feel the way you do, we all go through it when diagnosed & you are no less worthy just because, like me, you got an early diagnosis.
I must say, that having been on this forum for just over a year, there has been a lot of ladies recently whose paths ended up being a bit more complex than initially thought, but there’s no reason we all wont do very well anyway.
There is a range of diagnoses here, but we all share the path & help each other through.
Please dont go!!!
ann x

anitajane

 

Never think that your journey with this disease is any less than anyone else, it is a battle and for some ladies it is a longer one than others.

 

I remember in September last year when I was diagnosed I had to keep looking at my treatment plan to believe it, I had not found a lump, did not feel ill but it was as a result of a routine mammogram that mine was found, I had grade 1,tubular, 17mm er+, okay i was told it was totally treatable and the outlook was very good but it still hit me like a sledge hammer, how could this have happened to me?  I was not in pain, didnt feel ill, in fact I had just played in two weekends of bowls finals, how could I have cancer, but I did.

 

What you are feeling is totally normal and you have every right to feel the way you do, you are dealing with your diagnosis, it is always at night time when there is nothing to occupy your mind that it creeps up on you.

 

You are not indulging yourself and you have as much need as anyone else, this is a safe place where we can rant, rave, cry with each other because we are with ladies who really get us because they have or are going through the same thing.

 

Sending you a big hug with the hope it might help you

 

Helena xxx

I’m a bit of a night owl, Sue, watching Schitts Creek on netflix at the mo, but off to ? shortly…!
ann x

Hi, you dirty stopouts (we can pretend we’ve been on a night out can’t we)

Anitajane
Everyone’s diagnosis is as important to each of us as it is to you. This forum is for you to moan about anything you are feeling and no one will judge you.
I try to think that every stage is a step nearer to my recovery whatever they have told me despite my weeping, ranting, raving and sleepless nights!
So you rant, cry, moan all you like as I am sure that many ladies reading your thread will be thinking the same thing!
We all have one thing in common and although at different stages in diagnosis, treatment or recovery we are all here to support one another.
Lots of love.xx

Sue W
Are you finding it a little easier? I have my up and down days but trying my best to occupy myself until next Friday when I see my Chemo nurse.xx

 

 

i’m a night owl as well.   I depend on my prescribed sleeping tabs (ever since my divorce).  Usually I take them about 10.30 so tha I can drop off by 11.30, but I was late today. …so I’m watching the Crime and investigation channel on Sky, catching up on FB and ofcourse BCC.

 

Anitajane, I have a breast condition, not BC, but joined this wonderful site when the symptoms bothered me and I was terrified.of what it might be.  These great ladies have become my virtual friends and I keep checking to see how everyone 's getting on with their treatments etc. And everyone, including CCs have asked me to stay.  I feel so cosy and warm on this site. So Anitajane, you have more right to stay on than I have, 

 

Love you all xx

 

 

Feather
Sorry to hear about the insomnia! When did you divorce (change of subject) I have been for 20 years! I’m watching Catch up Corry:)

Anitajane, you’re in the right place here, my lovely. Being diagnosed with BC is such a shock, and even if it was the size of a pin head it wouldn’t matter. Just the words are awful. SO…this is the right place to be. No, you’re not ill, just a broken bit that needs fixing. Once the mechanics have got rid of that you’ll be good to go. Big hugs. X

 

17 years CK …messy divorce…serial philanderer, but eventually left me for one of my close friends.  He did not want me to go out to work and therefore I have no pension,…so my solicitor fought hard to get a fairly ok settlement.  The humiliating thing about it all is…I have to wait for his cheque every month.

 

Never mind…that’s how the cookie crumbles

 

All the best xxx

OMG, good morning night owls and thank you so much for all of your very kind comments - what a lovely surprise to wake up to this morning.  Thank you all for taking the time to write to me, means such a lot.  Sending everyone a thank you hug and wishing you all a lovely bank holiday weekend.  xxxxxxx

Hi anitajane my wife has just had op to remove a 12 mm lump hope your op goes well we both send all our love.
Keep strong xx

Anita enjoy your holiday xx just A bit crappy coming back to reality after being away but the holiday will set you up nicely x having my holiday before surgery meant I could forget and be the old normal just a little bit longer xx

 

Hi Anitajane

 

Your situation is certainly not trivial and I do hope you’re feeling a wee bit better. Someone described cancer as a rollercoaster of emotions and that’s certainly true. I have had many a rant, though mainly with pen and paper, which always make me feel better. Coming onto this forum has been so helpful as I realise that I am not alone in feeling a bit up and down at times. Although I don’t like hearing of people feeling the same way, it has made me feel a little less alone.

 

Rhona x

I agree Rhona everyone on here just gets each other I feel like I have found a virtual family and friends x