Hi all. Sorry I have not posted for a while. I am really struggling to cope at the moment.
I have had a rubbish few years. I lost my nan in November 2015, my sister was diagnosed in march 2016, my step father died suddenly in may 2016, then I was diagnosed in march 2017. I thought I was coping quite well, but the last few weeks have been really hard. I have been feeling very sensitive at work, not helped by my colleagues being less than understanding. I probably haven’t dealt with the other stuff as I tend to put others feelings before mine and think imagine how my poor mum must feel.
I had an oncology follow up after finishing my rads a couple of weeks ago which I got myself in a pickle over. I have been feeling rubbish (bladder pain, mood swings, forgetful, short of breath, foot pain, insomnia) I told the onc this as I thought it was related to the tamoxifen, he said “all drug’s have side effects” which was helpful. To top it all off, we are living next to a building site which is feet away from our house, and the cowboy builder is disregarding the planning rules so we have no screening to protect our house. The council have finally done something about it and told him he has breached so many terms he has to reapply for planning permission. I have been going to work when I probably should have been at home because it is quieter and less stressful.
I am getting married in january, but there is part of me that wonders if I will still be here then. To top it all off I discovered that I have made a big mistake at work, which I have told my boss, so I am in for a telling off tomorrow, I am now paranoid he is going to sack me as he has been a proper git to me this week. I would look for another job, but who will employ someone who is still being treated? I have a doctors appointment tomorrow so hopefully that will put my mind at rest.
Sorry for the miserable message, I wonder if this is ‘normal’
Hi Eggster. You are really goingvtjroughbit at the moment aren’t you. You have bern through an awful lot and it all takes its toll!!
Have you tried counselling? Lastvyear i was able to acces some counselling through my breast care nurse. I only jad 1 session but now just need to ring directly if i need another appijntment and an opportunity to talk.
Please tell your doctor how you are feeling tomorrow.
Xxx
sending huge hug, you have had so much on your plate but have still kept going, theres real strength in you. Ive had times when I was fed up of being told how strong I am and just wanted to fall apart. You have happier times to look forward to. There is never just one thing to cope with is there? Sometimes you just think seriously, more crap to deal with, have i not got more than my share already? Positives do happen, hang onto them no matter how small. I was asked the question by a good friend -“how do you eat an elephant?” - one bite at at time. You cant take on everything at once. Counselling may help sounds like you need to let it all out. Hang on in there. xx
Hi eggster just seen and wanted to give some input and I’m sorry to hear what you’re going through
Regarding work, remember your employer has a duty of care to you as well. Have you disclosed to them what you’re going through? Have they offered support? Flexibility? To accommodate your appointments etc.
How long have you been there? Any concerns speak to your HR team and don’t be worried about being sacked, you do not need that worry and no employer should ever impose that fear on you! Multiple channels are involved in that process and with everything on your mind, mistakes can happen - remember you’re human. As someone who manages people, they should be seen to be supporting you in the best way they can xxx
I rally sympathise .im back at work andalso struggling with memory problems,cofusion cant concentrate…things Im doing are taking twice as long.and im making mistakes as cant think straight.dont know whats going to happen with my job either as dont feel im coping verywell .might have to go to occ health . I was on Letrozole but now changing to Extemestane to see if thats any better for me and if not then I will try Tomoxafen…take good care of yourself. One day at a time. xx