69.2K members
1.2M posts
cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Recently Diagnoised, coping ok but wish other's would think before they speak

10 REPLIES 10
bpbninja
Member

Re: Recently Diagnoised, coping ok but wish other's would think before they speak

Hahaha brilliant !!! Gotta love five year olds 🙂
Janet1954
Member

Re: Recently Diagnoised, coping ok but wish other's would think before they speak

My Grandaughter was just 5 and had just started school when my daughter in law was diagnosed with Breast cancer and secondary Liver cancer, she had 2 siblings 3 and 14months old. At that age there are only limited things that you can tell a child of that age..the teachers at her school all knew the situation that we were in as a family and were very supportive. That was 6 years ago and it is surprising how children take things in their stride.we all have taken part in charity sponsored events and it has made them feel that they are doing their bit to help their mum. InJanuary I was diagnosed and the only option I had was a Mascetomy followed by reconstruction..my Grandaughter picked up on vibes in the family that something was wrong with her Nan, when she was told her response to her Grandad was."here we go again...more sponsored runs",,,
bpbninja
Member

Re: Recently Diagnoised, coping ok but wish other's would think before they speak

Thankyou all for your replies, Tracey you definately need a mallet for the teacher ! I try not to judge a whole profession with a blanket viewpoint, but when I do come across the occasional eeejit I try to remember that they have probably never left school in their life, they went to school, college, uni, and back to school, it's not a wide scope of choice to gain experience and life skills from. Baring this in mind has saved many a teacher a growl from me lol. (Teachers out there please note the disclaimer above, I do not judge you all by profession, I just use that profession to excuse the few who lack insight and experience into the world beyond those gates Smiley Happy)

 

Thanks for the thread link I will take a look, I'm sure 'The stupid things people say' is destined to find it's way into my blog Cat Happy My sister has already began many chats with 'don't put this in your blog but' hahaha 

 

 

 

 

 

 

lexilou3
Member

Re: Recently Diagnoised, coping ok but wish other's would think before they speak

how adorable x x
borbie
Member

Re: Recently Diagnoised, coping ok but wish other's would think before they speak

Here here!
newey47
Member

Re: Recently Diagnoised, coping ok but wish other's would think before they speak

ah bless out of the mouths of babes eh, his relief......x
Molliana
Member

Re: Recently Diagnoised, coping ok but wish other's would think before they speak

My four year old just said to me "mummy I will it could all start again. Start the world over again" i asked him why and he said "then you wouldn't have to have this bag (the one that I am carrying my drains around in!). He was much better when I pointed out to him that in two days it will be gone! He thought I had it forever now!
Tra16
Member

Re: Recently Diagnoised, coping ok but wish other's would think before they speak

Hi

I too am trying to be positive. Mine is contained in the one breast. I am having a masectomy Thursday , then chemo. My attitude is let's get on with getting rid of this out of my body. I know at times it will be a rough journey but I don't want it to be a depressive one. I'm 40, with a 5 and 3 yr old to keep me busy. I have tried to cut out those negative or insensitive ppl. One of the best ones I had was my daughters teacher. The school offers support for children whose parents are going through illness (through play sessions). Her teacher said to me I must make sure I tell them all about my illness because they have had parents say they are terminal , prepared the child and then the parent went and survived! Inconsiderate parents hey!!!!!! I couldn't believe what she said and just replied docs aren't saying terminal.

Anyway, lots of virtual hugs to all and good luck on your journeys through this

Tracey
X
lexilou3
Member

Re: Recently Diagnoised, coping ok but wish other's would think before they speak

Misery begets misery. You are right, they are thoughtless, it is a cruel realisation that may or may not dawn on them one day if they ever face a similar situation.

I have discovered the most amazing selective hearing, and wish i could have the Wit shown by Maggie Smiths character in The Best Marigold Hotel films. However my thought processing is as dull as their brains when passing such comments.

I am around the 1 year mark, and am due for "matching" surgery on the first. Am really hoping the surgeon keeps his head an doesnt go for the April Fools comedy angle!

Bigs gentle hugs.

Rosemaryanne
Member

Re: Recently Diagnoised, coping ok but wish other's would think before they speak

Hi!

Lovely to talk to you, sorry about the reason!

There is a thread which will tickle you, so many stupid things said, sometimes with the best intentions. I'll try and post the linky thingy, but not sure I know how

http://forum.breastcancercare.org.uk/t5/Diagnosed-with-breast-cancer/What-not-to-say-to-a-cancer-pat...

If this doesdn't work, pop "what not to say" into the search box and it'll take you there.

Good luck for Tuesday, I hope it all goes well

love, Rose xx

 

bpbninja
Member

Recently Diagnoised, coping ok but wish other's would think before they speak

Hi, I was diagnosed 5 weeks or so ago (sorry I can't remember the date! ) and have since been getting on with my life, planning for time out during surgery (scheduled this coming Tuesday) and working out how to maintain my work (self employed) whilst undergoing chemo and radiotherapy etc. I'm 41 and the consultant is fairly clear that he plans to be reasonably aggressive with adjuvant therapy. I have a fairly large family, lots of friends for support, and an awesome husband and 12 year old daughter. Although the past few weeks have certainly been a ride and I can't deny I haven't had moments of feeling the eeebiegeebies my outlook is mostly positive. I've even began building and writing a blog on my journey kicking the ass of breast cancer as a means of reaching out to others. Amidst all of this I am finding I would probably benefit from a fairly large mallet, as I think there is possibly no other way to get through to people that it would be nice if they could think before they speak! A friend called me today to tell me her other friend had her mastectomy last week and I will probably find that I am in agony and cant move, my cousin reminded me that my aunt had breast cancer 2 years ago, but it was her mets which spread to her stomach which eventually got her (we have the same diagnosis), somebody else informed me that it wouldnt be the surgery that bothers them, it would be the assymetry afterwards... the list goes on. 

 

To be fair I have a fairly wild sense of humour, and can handle these scenarios as they arise with a hint of humour but still my mind boggles when such things are passed on to me. 

 

On the other hand, my 12 year old who heard my friends warning that come wednesday my life will be a misery came back to me later with a little thought of her own ; "Mum you are the toughest person I know, you wont be in agony at all" - and I am grateful to have her clapping me from the sidelines. 

 

So, in the absence of a mallet, I send all of you virtual hugs and encouragement in your march forward, and may you manage the thoughtlessness of others with a quiet acknowledgement that the problem with stupid people is that they will never know that they are stupid 😉 

 

Rant over x