I’ve recently been diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma breast cancer. I found a lump by complete chance one morning 6 weeks ago today whilst I wa unlock point my new Fitbit from my pyjama top having misplaced the sleep band. I went straight to see my GP that day and was referred to the hospital where 2 weeks later I attended an appointment and had to have biopsies taken etc. a week later I received the news that the lump wasn’t innicent and I had indeed got breast cancer! This was one month after turning 30 and 18months after my mother in law had received her diagnosis.
I have two young children aged 6 & 4 and a wonderful husband who I’ve been with for 12 years. I have an amazing support network with friends and family and I feel like I’m coping okay with my diagnosis. I’m struggling with how other people think that I should feel and how because I haven’t sat and cried a river that they think I’m in denial. Do you think I am? Maybe I am! I’m a very positive person and I do realise that what I’m going through is big and yes I was tearful at the hospital but I’m just taking each day at a time and dealing with what’s thrown at me the only way I know how. Head on! Will post again tonight after I get my results and know what my next steps are. Would be nice to speak to other people going through the same thing especially people my age. ( not that I don’t want to speak to people older or younger!) lol
Hi Claire
Welcome to the BCC discussion forums, you’ve come to the right place for some good, honest support from the many informed users of this site, who I am sure will be along soon to help.
I have put for you below the link to the area of this website dedicated to younger women and hope you find it helpful.
breastcancercare.org.uk/news/blog/support-younger-women-breast-cancer
Take care,
Jo, Moderator
I am had my results last Wednesday. The can relate to what you say about other people’s reaction to you, I have the same. I’m not sure what people want me to do, but crying all the time just does not help. My advise to you is to expect the unexpected with regards to your results. I went for my results thinking I was just going to find out if they had taken enough away, I was shocked all over again when I was upgraded and told I would now need chemo. I’ve got my head around it now and I’m happy to do any treatment that is needed. Good luck
Hi Claire, I got my results last Thursday after surgery. I have grade 3 invasive ductal cancer with one lymph node positive for cancer. My tumour was 4cm. I’m 18 weeks pregnant and have a 3 year old daughter and start chemotherapy the week after next. I’m not quite as young as you (36) but feel for you and definitely identify with being a mum to young children. I also haven’t been a crumpled mess, but I’ve had a couple of moments (although could be pregnancy hormones!) Let us know how your results go. Xx
Hi Claire. I am older than you (48) but I too was diagnosed with grade 3 invasive ductal carcinoma on 12th March after discovering a lump. Scans showed also calcification which also turned out to be malignant (same grade etc as lump). I had a bi lateral mastectomy and SNR on 1st April and am due back on Thursday for results. If in nodes then further surgery to remove but also both radio and chemo likely (with or without node involvement). After my initial appointment when I admit I left in total shock I soon got to grips with it and have been, like you, fine with it all since. People have said to me I’m in denial but I’m not but do feel very positive and determined. For me the hardest part is the waiting for results each time but know that’s how it has to be. I am keen to know full picture and get on with next step of treatment. Hope you got your results and know what happens next. Take care. Jules xx
Hi all
Reading all your stories, i wish i could be as brave as you all. Ive been a crumpled mess and am normally the strong one.
Ive been feeling sorry for myself since i got my diagnosis and will probably be again tomorrow after my consultant appointment for MRI results.
I thought id had my fair share of medical problems and hospital trips after having twins 2 years ago.
hope i can stay as strong as yuou guys xx
Thank you for all your replies. Just been food shopping to pass some time after the girls swimming lessons. Hubby now bathing them ready for bed and it will then be time to set off to see my consultant. I’m so confused by other people’s stories when I read or hear them as my consultant has already told me I’ll be having chemo and radiotherapy? Yet a few others have said that came as a shock. If I’m honest I feel the same today as I did on results day from the original biopsies. It’s that catch 22 though isn’t it. I don’t want to go in there too confident that it will all be gone and chemo will be the next stage because if it isn’t I’m right back to the beginning of surgery again for more removing or a mastectomy. But at the same time I don’t want to be feeling negative that it’s all going to be bad news. Just over an hour to wait though now.
I have had days where I have been emotional. My biggest thing that’s hit me is not being able to go on holiday. When I was first given my diagnosis I asked abut a holiday we have had booked for 12 months to Tenerife in August. My mum is 50 and all the family were going my sister, brother, niece and nephew etc and being told I couldn’t go hit and hurt me more than having cancer did. My parents have offered to take the girls with them as they are so looking forward to it. Before all of this I would have said I wasn’t ready for them to be away but I don’t want them to miss out on something they are really looking forward to and consultant said I would be half way through chemo at that point so hardly gonna be of any use to them and will probably enjoy the break. It will be our 8th wedding anniversary whilst they are away so we thought we might book into a hotel somewhere with a spa if I’m upto it as a I treat.
I’ll let you all know how I get on this evening xx
Hi Claire85
Warm wishes for your consultation tonight and do let us all know how you get on.
We all cope in different ways and what is right for each individual is exactly what it is. I try not to compare myself to others as my own journey is unique and made up of all my prior life experiences and current situation. However, I have found lots of really valuable information being shared on this forum and have certainly put myself firmly in the ‘lucky’ category as there is always someone much worse off than I am at any given time.
Warmest wishes and hugs
Katie
Hi Claire, will be keeping fingers crossed for your results tonight, I am increasingly amazed at how young women are being diagnosed after being thrown in to this world myself, I’m almost 47 and was diagnosed in March and I feel too young so can only imagine how you are feeling, you all sound so incredibly brave and level headed as well which I’m afraid I haven’t been, I totally fell apart and could barely function for weeks, if it wasn’t for my darling husband and some incredible friends and family holding me up I don’t know where I would be, I just couldn’t get my head around it happening to me! Now a while down the road with all the facts and results I’m much better and feel fortunate to have had a small low grade cancer requiring just a few weeks of radiotherapy which I start next month, I admire you all so much at how you are coping with such young family’s to deal as well and wish you all the very best of luck xx Jo
Well I’ve been to see my consultant and it’s good news and bad. The good news is that the area around. The lump is clear which means no more surgery on on my breast which is great however of the 4 lymph nodes they removed one has cancer so I need more surgery to remove the remaining nodes. We have decided that due to the fact I’m HER2+ and my cancer is grade 3 we are going to delay more surgery and start chemo first. The reason being because Ive just had surgery under my arm I run the risk of slowing down the healing process which could delay my chemo further which I don’t want. When there is any chance of cancer cells being sent anywhere else in my body I feel chemo is the next step and the surgery can wait. So my BCN is ringing me tomorrow with an appointment to meet my oncologist to discuss chemo. So the original plan of chemo then radiotherapy is still going to happen with another bit of surgery inbetween.
I feel really positive, it could have been worse. I’m also really happy with my wounds from the lumpectomy. My lump was quite high in my breast nearer to the middle of my chest so I was concerned with how that would look post surgery and whether the dip would be hugely noticeable. Vain I know but my breasts are one of the few things I actually like abut my body. My consultant took my concerns on board and has cut a lot lower and gone up to remove the lump so I can feel where the lump is missing but with the jiggling around inside they have done it’s like a dimple rather than a dip. Overall I’m ready for the next step. I think once chemo starts and I lose my hair will be my tough days but one day at a time.
Hi Claire,
Glad to hear you had some good news, that’s the thing to keep in your mind and try and block out the negative, sounds like your doing a great job of remaining positive anyway! hope you can get cracking with your treatment as soon as possible. love Jo xx
Hi Claire
I’m new here too - confirmed diagnosis yesterday of grade 3 invasive ductal and DCIS. Mastectomy, chemo and radiotherapy route for me. I’m older than you at 45 but still classifed as a younger woman!
I had biopsies last week and was told the news then and must admit I went into a very dark place as all I could think about was my 5 year old. However, the results yesterday have somehow made me much more calm and I am in the “lets get on and deal with it” phase. Much more positive and determined to move forward eventhough it will be a long road ahead - but as you say one step at a time. Seeing the consultant tomorrrow to discuss sugery dates - likely to be mid May I think. Keep in touch
Hi Mum of one and welcome to the BCC forums
Along with the support here our helpliners are on hand with practical and emotional support so please feel free to call 0808 800 6000 to talk any queries/concerns over, lines are open 9-5 weekdays and 10-2 Saturdays
I am posting a link to the just diagnosed area of the site where you will find lots of further support ideas and information which I hope you will find helpful:
breastcancercare.org.uk/diagnosis?utm_source=Homepage&%3Butm_medium=help_you&%3Butm_campaign=diagnosis
Take care
Lucy BCC
So sorry to hear your news. It’s good that you are feeling more positive now, I know it’s easier said that done and I feel very lucky to have felt like that from the start but I do really think it will help with the whole process. If I’m honest I think I would have preferred a mastectomy to the lumpectomy. At least I’d have got new boobs afterwards lol. Sorry I don’t mean to offend anyone with my witty self it’s just how I cope. Nurse has phoned me today and I go see oncologist on Monday to discuss chemo etc. Hope you don’t have to wait too long for surgery
Yeah I totally agree Tweasel. Yeah think the herceptin is a given with HER2+. How have you found chemo? Did u lose your hair?
Hi mum of one, here’s a link to the book ‘Mummy’s lump’ sazza has mentioned below:
www2.breastcancercare.org.uk/publications/diagnosed-breast-cancer/mummys-lump-bcc164
Best wishes
Lucy BCC
Thanks yes I’ve looked at Mummy’s Lump - it’s brilliant - & my boy would love it if it was with superheroes too! We’re just thinking one hurdle at a time - tell him about surgery, then when I’m recovering, prepare him for my chemo. Really not sure which way is right but talking to his school tomorrow which will help I’m sure. Each child is different but conscious that my bcn said to keep things normal as possible. Early days - things will get least I’m sure 
Get least??? Get clearer / easier I meant
I’m hoping I’ll feel the same next week once I’ve met the oncology team. I just want to get started with chemo and hoping it will be very soon. Hope everything goes well
Hi Claire85 and others.
Hope you don’t mind me joining your thread. I seem to be going down the same journey as you. 2 lumpectomy and no clear margins. Full mode clearance has been done though. Chemo started on Friday FEC -T (not too bad so far) and operation at the end of chemo followed by radiotherapy herceptin as I’m HER2 also. Hoping I can have a mastecomy but I think they will do another lumpectomy … Wish they would let me choose … Well done everyone for getting this far.