Hi there - I am a 38 year old married mother to 2 children aged 11 and 8. I was diagnosed with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma to my left breast two weeks ago today and am due to have a lumpectomy on 16th July. While I have a beautiful husband and a fantastic support network of family and close friends around me and a positive attitude I feel as if nobody really understands what I am going through.I look and feel no different and people keep telling me to stay positive but it is easy for them to say. I am anxious of what the future holds and dreading the emotional and physical changes treatment will bring. I am an independant woman and love spending time with my kids and i am really concerned how this will effect them. I am also really worried that at my worst times my husband will feel different about me (probably ridiculous but it is a worry all the same ). I am not looking for answers just genuine conversation on commom ground. It would be really good to chat to others in a similar situation if anyone wants to chat / share feelings / experiencs/ rant etc… etc…
Hi SM75
Welcome to the forums, I’m sure other users will be along to support you soon.
In the meantime you may find it useful to contact our free helpline on 0808 800 6000, opening hours are Monday to Friday 9.00 – 5.00 and Saturday 10.00 – 2.00.
Best wishes
June, moderator
Hello S
I was in your situation, just 3 months ago. Really scared with the treatment, with my appearance after the surgery, and with being ill
I’m 40, married with 2 boys age 10 and 8. My oldest turn 10 just 2 days after my diagnose
Today, 2 months after surgery, on my 11th RT session of 15 and almost 4 weeks after start on Tamoxifen I can tell you that I never felt sick, tired yes, but never felt sick
I tell you this because most of the stories we heard are really hard, but yours may not be. Also, even in the worst, all of the women find a way to manage and carry on living and smiling.
I’m not going to tell you either that is easy. You have all the anxiety of waiting on exams and results, worries of all kind. Sometimes, you will cry, cry and cry but have hope. Don’t put aside your feelings, you must cry if you want, no matter what - most of the times, after crying I felt better and I don’t cry now for weeks 
To share my story that is really simple: diagnosed with BC stage 1, hormone positive. Had surgery to remove the lump and 3 lymph nodes. Margins and nodes were clean. Recovery from surgery was easy, the worst was recovering arm movements but I had physiotherapy and now is fine, 100% recovered
Even I have a small scar and the breast size is almost the same, the first weeks I cried every time I saw my self in the mirror. But also that has gone and now I feel confident again
Now I’m going on RT and Tam and so far I’m fine, I just feel a bit tired than usual, but overall I have my old life back 
Don’t reserve just for you your thoughts and doubts. Share here. Ask what you need, no matter what
The most positive outlook of all this situation is that I found great friends. The way they concern, the support that give, is magical. Not very body reacts well to this but most the people are concern and give you love.
Take care and smile when you want and cry every time you feel the need
Xx
Paula
Thank you Paula. I have been told after op I will have 18 sessions of RT and because I am under 40 six weeks of chemo. Also told mine mineis 8/8 oestrogen receptive ??? I haven’t cried once ( hubby and best friend did )just feel quite numb and all a bit surreal. The consultant did say it is the best type I cd have if there is a best type!!! Gutted that it has happened now as will miss daughters last days in her primary school and most of the school summer hols taking kids out and about. x
Hi SM75
Just wanted to say hello and I’m in the same position. I’m a 37 year old married mum with 2 children (4 & 2 1/2) and also a great supportive husband, family and friends. The Drs think I have invasive ductal breast cancer, (although waiting for DNA testing on the piece of tissue with the cancer in it as there was only one bit found out of the 2 biopsies I had)!! There was talk of possible cross contamination, although the Drs & breast cancer nurse keep reiterating that this is highly rare, hence the DNA test needed, but think that’s not likely. So, I have to have a breast MRI on the 16th July to see if they can find it and then will plan after. I’m finding the waiting awful. One minute I feel positive, the next I’m in tears looking at my children scared of the future. I’m always here to chat if you need. Hope your lumpectomy goes well on the 16th. xx
Hiya, I’m Rachel, I’m 35 and a single mum to 5 kids between 1 and 12. I have breast cancer in milk ducts of left breast, had lump removed and all lymph nodes in left arm. Some Good news though it was in 3 out of 20 nodes and bone Scan was clear, I have ct scan Tuesday and starting fec-t this wed.
Hi Rachel/pookieharton and welcome to the BCC forums
Along with the shared support here our helpliners are on hand with practical and emotional support for you on 0808 800 6000, lines are open weekdays 9-5 and Saturdays 10-2
Here’s a link to the BCC ‘Younger women’ information and support which you may find helpful through the coming months:
breastcancercare.org.uk/younger-women
Take care
Lucy BCC