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Recently diagnosed and really struggling with anxiety

34 REPLIES 34
Mai7
Community Champion

Re: Recently diagnosed and really struggling with anxiety

Hi Camo, I did 8 rounds of chemo followed by surgery and am still here to tell the tale. Try not to worry too much. There are great wigs out there nowadays, you can draw your eyebrows on and you can still get on with a lot of normal things in life like going out for walks. I wasn't nauseous at all and just took anti sickness meds as instructed. I continued to work full time from home which was great for my mental health! Take care. Xx

ladybowler
Community Champion

Re: Recently diagnosed and really struggling with anxiety

Camo

 

Lovely to hear from you and that it has been good news in terms of the op outcome having clear margins.

 

Have everything crossed that it does not turn out that you require chemo. 

 

Although you dont know yet whether you will have chemo yet, on the going through treatment section, monthly chemotherapy thread there are a load of lovely ladies who will be able to help and support you, and answer any questions you have.

 

Sending you a hug and hope all is as well as it can be with your husband

 

Helena xxx

Camo
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and really struggling with anxiety

Hi Everyone - just thought I would update on what is happening at the moment.

 

I saw consultant yesterday for post op appointment.  Good news is that lump was bigger than initially thought (3cms!!! Eek!) but they managed to get clear margins and sln biopsy was clear so no spread. I thought that radiotherapy and hormone therapy would follow but apparently chemo could still be on the cards and sample of lump is being sent to USA for oncotype test.  I will have to wait about two and a half weeks for results to come back.  As chemo is my biggest fear this now means another unbearable wait.  

 

I am building chemo up in my mind to be a hugh monstrous thing that I won’t be able to cope with, especially as I look after my husband and support my elderly mother as both of them have no one else to help them and the other things that go along with it I.e hair loss, sickness etc.

 

The consultants exact words were to prepare for chemo but I might get away with it.

 

i really really hate the emotional rollercoaster of this it is absolutely horrible how it makes you feel.

 

i hope that everyone is doing as well as possible.

 

Regarda

 

C x

rabbit28
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and really struggling with anxiety

Hi Camo,

 

I know how you feel with anxiety as I have suffered in the past with it on and off.  However, after my op I found as Lady Bowler said a walk really does help. I walked about two miles a day every day after the op.

 

I drove two weeks afterwards but as others have said you need to be comfortable with the seatbelt. I wore a thick padded jacket which helped.

 

My consultant popped in briefly after the op to give me the results on the SNB but I think how quick they get the results depends on the equipment the hospital have.  I was given more of my results in my follow up appointment 2 1/2 weeks afterwards.

 

Take care and good luck xx

ladybowler
Community Champion

Re: Recently diagnosed and really struggling with anxiety

Camo

 

Oh it is lovely to hear from you and that you are the other side of the surgery.

 

With regard to driving I was told not for 48 hours after surgery due to aneasthetic and then I could drive when I was able to do an emergency stop comfortably and that the seatbelt was not causing me problems.  I did ait two weeks after surgery before I drove, but that was my choice.  However what I did do was go out for a walk around the block every day and spent a bit of time pottering in the garden, although nothing involving any heavy work.  At least it meant I was out in the fresh air.  I was right side surgery so actually did not struggle with any discomfort but I had the added advantage of having an automatic car.

 

Please dont be too hard on yourself, you are only just a few days through surgery, you are doing incredibly well especially as you have the worry of your husband as well. I am so glad to hear that he is much better, it is very worrying especially as you cant do anything to help at the moment, I had to make sure that Colins appointments were all sorted before my surgery as I would not be able to drive him or support him.

 

I cant suggest anything with regard to your sleep my friend

 

I have never heard of anyone being told anything immediately after the op.  I had two sentinel nodes biopsied and the lump removed.  I had an appointment with my consultant 4 weeks after my surgery for the results.

 

Sending you hugs

 

Helena xxx

Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Recently diagnosed and really struggling with anxiety

Hi Camo ,just wanted to say -don't be so hard on your self,lack of sleep ,anxiety ,feeling overwhelmed all normal responses to all of this .Very difficult to cope with in first few weeks and overwhelming at times.It will get better .
ann-m
Community Champion

Re: Recently diagnosed and really struggling with anxiety

Hi Camo,
I’ve not heard of anything being said after surgery about findings, for most of us we get the final results at the first follow-up appointment with the surgeon.
I really don’t remember being told anything about driving, so maybe I got it wrong, but I was driving quite quickly, but my surgery was minor - WLE (2in incision) & no armpit incision, as the surgeon took 2 nodes out by the same incision. Obviously, do check.
Don’t be too hard on yourself, you’re only a couple of days post surgery & it does take some days before feeling more like yourself.
Do hope your husband’s ok.
ann x
Camo
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and really struggling with anxiety

Hi Helena and thanks for your concern I really appreciate it.

 

Husband is now home he had urinary sepsis. He is much better now but unfortunately keeps getting various infections and lots of hospital admissions recently.

 

Had op on Friday and home same day. Not too painful and paracetamol is helping.  My main problem is lack of sleep. On the night of the op despite the anaesthetic I still couldn’t sleep so now have some sleeping tablets from gp but can still only manage 4 or 5 hours max. Gp has also increased my antidepressants which is making me feel really lousy on top of the sleeping tabs with increased anxiety being a side effect (I’m on citalopram).  Just want a whole night of natural undisturbed sleep but just can’t get it.  Feels as though a switch has been flicked to keep me awake at all costs and I can’t flick it off again.

 

Has anyone else had problems like mine.  Feels like everyone is coping and really stoic except me.  I still feel an exhausted wreck.

 

i have to go for post op appointment with surgeon on 16th nov.  They didn’t tell me anything at all after the surgery but I saw that they biopsied two sentinel nodes.  Some people seem to be told straight after if any findings.

 

Also I get really depressed hanging around the house all day. Don’t think I can go 2 weeks without driving.  It’s my right side so not arm for changing gear etc and movement seems fine at the moment. I am aware it can affect insurance though.  When did others start to drive?

 

Regards

 

C x

ladybowler
Community Champion

Re: Recently diagnosed and really struggling with anxiety

Camo

 

Hi, just wanted to check how your op went and how things are with your husband.

 

Sending you a hug

 

Helena xxx

Caro
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and really struggling with anxiety

Camo,

They will look after your husband tonight for you. He will be in good hands.

Totally understand the feelings. I felt I was on my knees with anxiety and fear. You do get up eventually and square up to this thing, I promise. This time next week your surgery will be done and you will be a HUGE step forward. They have to tell you the worst case scenarios which fill you with fear, but a lot of what they say you might have to experience does not happen once they have the pathology report and the final jigsaw pieces. 

 

Try taking those diazepam right before bedtime. They might make you sleep. 

 

Lots of hands squeezing your hand tonight. 

 

xx

Jencat
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and really struggling with anxiety

Camo, I just wanted to let you know that I was thinking of you xx

Lovewine
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and really struggling with anxiety

Camo. So sorry for everything you are going through right now, hope your husband gets good care and treatment, how overwhelming all this is for you on top of your own diagnosis, when i was diagnosed i struggled badly with anxiety, still do. The G.P put me on to citalopran to help cope and i found it has done, sending you a hug , lean on your family and friends as much as you can, you will come out the other side, doesnt seem like it now, but you will....am thinking of you.
Chaffinch17
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and really struggling with anxiety

You poor thing, you have a lot to deal with besides this (((hugs))).
I have always been prone to panic attacks but had largely learnt to cope with them but that went out of the window when I received my initial diagnosis. The worst period for me was after that for the 2 weeks waiting for biopsy results. I then had surgery which came back with clear margins and no node involvement but I was then told that I was HER2+ and would need chemo Herceptin and rads which I wasn’t expecting. I coped with that ok.
My first round of chemo was tough for the first few days because I didn’t know what to expect and felt wired from the steroids. I had a few terrifying nightmares during this time. Fortunately by avoiding caffeine splitting my steroid dose and having anti sickness meds I have felt more in control this time,
It’s hard to give you coping mechanisms because we are all so different. I sort of managed to slam a lid on my panic most of the time and kept busy. I also surrounded myself with cheerful people who would treat me normally rather than feed into how I was feeling.
There are people who you can ring to speak to on here and on Macmillan. Try your breast care nurse saying that you really feel that you need help too.
Fingers crossed for your husband and hang in there you can do this. Just take each day a minute at a time and don’t beat yourself up if you have bad times. Xx
ladybowler
Community Champion

Re: Recently diagnosed and really struggling with anxiety

Camo

 

Oh mate I have just read both your posts, I really do not know what to say that might be in some way of help to you other than I feel for you xx

 

The only thing I can suggest is that you let your friends know that you need their help and support going forward because you can not do all this on your own.  Do you have any family or close friends nearby who will be able to help you once you have had your op? 

 

Also do you have a Maggies or MacMillan centre by you as they can provide support and counselling for you which might help with your anxiety.  I have heard a lot of ladies on here who have gone to them and got support.

 

Sending you a hug xxxx

Camo
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and really struggling with anxiety

By way of update husband now being taken into hospital with sepsis potentially. Any ideas how I can possibly cope with all this?

 

C x

Camo
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and really struggling with anxiety

Thanks for everyone's kind messages.

 

i am still feeling really, really anxious in spite of my relatively good news.  Everyone now seems to think that I should be feeling much better and will be ok once the op on Friday is over but I just can't feel like that.  I have now convinced myself that I'm losing the plot and how am I going to cope with bc if having a nervous breakdown!!  I'm actually more worried about that than anything else right now.  My main problem is lack of sleep - I've had two out of the last four nights when I haven't slept at all and now dread going to bed- so it's a vicious circle.  I have taken a couple of the diazepam tablets given by the gp but hate the way they make me feel so am trying to avoid them.

 

Also to make matters worse my husband with ms now has a tummy bug so had to call emergency dr this morning.  Carers have cleaned him up and he's now sleeping in bed and fingers crossed over the worst.

 

Has anyone else here been feeling like they are about to have a breakdown and I'm also still unable to cry which is making me feel weird.

 

Sorry for the gloomy post but any support or similar experiences would be a real help.

 

Regards

 

C x

rosietd
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and really struggling with anxiety

Just a quick note to send you a hug Camo. This forum offers enormous support.

xxx

Chaffinch17
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and really struggling with anxiety

I can only echo what the ladies above have said. This is the worst period of time, you are in shock. I thought that I was going mad during that period too. I weirdly felt more in control once I had a full diagnosis and treatment plan. Take all support offered and this forum is a great place for true understanding. Join the relevant treatment threads in the going through treatment area and you will get great advice and support there too.
Best wishes with your treatment xx
anitajane
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and really struggling with anxiety

Hi Camo, that's really good news, just keep taking one step at a time. We are all here to support you. Have a good evening Anita xx
ladybowler
Community Champion

Re: Recently diagnosed and really struggling with anxiety

Camo

 

Oh that is good news and such a relief for you xx

Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Recently diagnosed and really struggling with anxiety

That's good news Camo.Yes ,it's very hard for anyone who hasn't been through this to understand how it feels .You will feel a lot better after your op as you will moving forward and doing something to get rid of the cancer rather than in limbo .Jill
Camo
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and really struggling with anxiety

Hi just had phone call and her2- so no chemo before surgery. Am therefore having op next Friday. May still need chemo afterwards if any spread to lymph nodes.  This is such a rollercoaster.  

 

Thanks so so much for all of your concern and kindness I really appreciate it as although friends and family are being supportive they don't understand what it's really like  be going through this.

 

Regards

 

C x

Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Recently diagnosed and really struggling with anxiety

I can totally understand your fear - it's not a place you want to go back to when you have experienced depression but at the moment the feelings you are experiencing are totally normal - it's shock not depression and hopefully these feelings will subside when you have all the information and you can get on with getting rid of the *****.Let us know what happens today .Jill.
Camo
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and really struggling with anxiety

Hi everyone and thanks for taking the time to respond so kindly.

 

i know it's crazy but at this stage I seem to be more worried about depression than the bc!  Just feel like I'm going crazy.  The depression I suffered a long time ago was one of the worst periods of my life and the way I'm feeling now has brought back all of those bad memories again that I'd thought I'd forgotten.  The depression was 23 years ago and was linked to the death of my father and grandmother and my husband being diagnosed with ms in quick succession.  Once I got through it I was fine until now.

 

my husband has a big package of care in place with carers and nurses visiting daily and they can take him into respite if needs be. I have a son at home who is being supportive and a daughter but she is very busy with work and my two granddaughters.  I have some good friends too but still feel really alone.  I just feel so numb at the moment and wish I could have a good cry.

 

anyway I'm waiting or the phone call today and will let you know what happens.

 

many thanks

 

C x

AnnaKarenina
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and really struggling with anxiety

Hello Camo, I am so sorry you are feeling this way. Much of what you wrote resonated with me. I am in the same 'new diagnosis, no plan' phase and lurch between a zen like calm (which may just be shock) and feeling very overwhelmed and tearful.

 

Everyone is different of course, but a few things that have helped me through the last week since diagnosis are walks and exercise (a cliche but it really does help to get out and use your body a bit), watching absorbing but not demanding/upsetting TV - Great British Bakeoff and Strictly have cheered me enormously, visiting this forum when I need a bit of support from people who know where I am and spending time with those who love and know me. Perhaps the one thing that really helped me though was a telephone call with the 'Someone Like Me' team. I don't know if you have come across the service, but I spoke to an amazingly gentle and supportive woman who took the time to explore what really worried and mattered to me. As a result, I am being matched with someone who has had similar experiences/concerns. I found it immensely valuable.

 

I will be thinking of you and walking my own BC path alongside you. One step at a time. Together.  

ladybowler
Community Champion

Re: Recently diagnosed and really struggling with anxiety

Camo

 

Hello and welcome.  I have only just read your post and echo everything that the lovely ladies on here have posted to you.  We are all here with you on this journey, it does not feel like it at the moment but you will get through this and very soon be the other side of it all.

 

This is the worst time when you are waiting to get your treatment plan, but honest when you do you will feel so much better as you will know what is happening and when.  I know when I had my diagnosis and treatment plan it was almost a relief because I knew that I was gong to be sorted, they told me because it was caught early it was treatable and the outlook was very good.  I am 13 months post diagnosis, 12 months past my op and 9 months post radiotherapy, I have my life back and appreciating it every day.

 

Like you I have a partner who has MS, he was diagnosed 2 years ago September and has been housebound since last September and because of this was not able to support me.  I was so worried when I was diagnosed because I was worried how he would cope with it because of not being to come with me, but we have got through it, I have some wonderful friends who stepped up to take on helping me when I needed it.  You will get there. 

 

Are your breast team aware of your husbands MS as they will be able to help you where you need it, I know when I told them as I was so upset and worried, the consultant asked if there was anything that they could put in place to support us.

 

Sending you a gentle hug and you know that we are all here to help and support you

 

Helena xxxx

Caro
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and really struggling with anxiety

Dear Camo,

If you can’t sleep tonight, remember there are lots of us squeezing your hand tonight. We KNOW these feelings all too well. Sorry you have to be here but you are not alone. A lot of well meaning friends told me to “be strong” and “be positive.” Ouch! There is no wrong or right way. Whatever feelings you are having are the right ones. Howl at the moon if you want to! It’s all part of the process. You are in shock at the moment. You are still processing really scary information. It will get easier.

 

I echo the wise words of the others. This first bit is the worst. You can do this. 

Sue C
Community Champion

Re: Recently diagnosed and really struggling with anxiety

Hi camo

Also wanted to welcome you to the forum.

Like the others have said, the hardest part is when you get the diagnosis. Once treatment starts, you will feel better. Take one day at a time, and then one treatment at a time, otherwise it can just get overwhelming. Do you have family and friends who can help out at times?

Sending hugs and best wishes.

Sue xx

 

anitajane
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and really struggling with anxiety

Hi Camo There's lots of good advice for you already in this thread.  I was diagnosed in July and had lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy in September.  Just waiting to start radiotherapy on 5th November.  The first few weeks whilst you are waiting for test results and a treatment plan are definitely the worst - I promise you after that it does get better and you feel more in control. Just try to take one day at a time, don't let your mind overthink things even though that's very hard to do.  Keep yourself busy doing normal things.  I took the Valerian tablets as I couldn't sleep to start with - the diagnosis is such a total shock - it just blindsides all of us. We are all here to help and I feel very positive about my treatment now.  Clearly I wish I wasn't on this journey but I am and it is not going to define me and my life - I just won't let it. Just keep coming back to us whenever you want to, someone will always reply even in the middle of the night.  You are not on your own I promise you.  Take care Anita xx
Meri
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and really struggling with anxiety

Hello Camo, I had same experience in March this year, all the wiating for results is so worrying.

 

Now I am so grateful this was found early enough to do lumpectomy rather then mastectomy.

 

I was so anxious as most are I suspect, this is what helped me but we all differnt:

 

I started a journal of my journey with breadt cancer, found postive sayings, wrote down all my feelings, fears and worries, also the funny and unexpected, like meeting other people and new friends 🙂

 

I used calming teas like Camomile and Lavender

 

used essential oils in an oil burner to soothe me.

 

I found valerian in Kalms, helped the paniky feelings, as did slowing my breathing and relaxation.

 

Its all a rollorcoaster after diagnosis as treatments follow on so quickly, yet there are so many really good tretaments, that can prevent further growth for many of us.

 

I had some hard times, but putting myself first, sharing as I wished, having some treats, and the advice and support here has and is still helping me so much.

 

I also joined a breast cancer support group run by McMillan, attended some workshops with Dimbleby cancer care, and counselling sesions all helped so much.

The phone line is great so do give them a call anytime, we all help each other as we can, you are never alone on this journey 🙂

 

 

 

 

Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Recently diagnosed and really struggling with anxiety

Hi Camo,welcome to the forum .It certainly is a very surreal experience being diagnosed -it really does feel like it is happening to someone else .The time in between being diagnosed and starting treatment is most definitely the most difficult time .Once you get started you really will feel a lot calmer.Lots of support and advice here .Best of luck with phone call tomorrow .Jill.
charboyles
Member

Re: Recently diagnosed and really struggling with anxiety

Hi Camo

 

Try to stay calm, postive thoughts, but always have an open mind. The staff at the hospital, where you are been treated, will really look after you and let you do things in your way in your own time,

 

Love Peggyxxx

ann-m
Community Champion

Re: Recently diagnosed and really struggling with anxiety

Just to add, we all do get through it & you will deal with it x
ann-m
Community Champion

Re: Recently diagnosed and really struggling with anxiety

Hi Camo,
Sorry to hear you’re joining us, but glad you found us.
Many of us have been where you are now & what you’re feeling is quite usual, so please don’t worry about that.
Getting diagnosed is such a shock, then there is the horrible waiting in limbo period whilst the diagnosis & treatment plan are being sorted out.
Honestly, it does get better when your treatment plan is finalised & you know where you are with it all.
There is loads of suppprt here, so do come & chat or vent whenever you want to & please be assured that bc treatment is excellent now, with some of the best outcomes there are.
Sending hugs
ann x
Camo
Member

Recently diagnosed and really struggling with anxiety

Hi everyone. I have never posted on a forum before ever.

 

i was told I have bc about a month ago when I went to the clinic to get a lump checked. I had to have a biopsy and the radiologist told me there and then it looked highly suspicious. Went back a week later and it was confirmed but no treatment plan as not all results back. Another week later and bc nurse rang to say her2 results borderline and another weeks wait as further test had to be done. I'm now waiting for a phone call tomorrow with her2 results. If below 2 am booked in for lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy on 3rd Nov if 2 or above will need chemo and herceptin.  

 

Since the diagnosis i have felt completely numb. I'm normally very emotional but can't even cry. I an a total wreck - feel like I'm having one long panic attack and feel in a bubble and like I'm not really here. Can't sleep and forcing myself to eat. Friends think I'm coping well but I'm really not. Have had depression really badly a long time ago and terrified it will come back and I will have to deal with that as well as bc.  Gp has put me back on antidepressants along with some diazepam that I am trying not to use.  My husband has severe ms so is not able to support me.

 

im really worried that I am not emotionally strong enough to deal with what is to come. I'm trying to carry on as normal but finding it extremely difficult.

 

Has anyone else felt like this and if so how did they cope.

 

Thanks for listening. X