Hallo Ladies, I was diagnosed yesterday and I am at work trying to behave as though everything is normal but it isn't, is it? Two weeks ago I attended a routine mammogram. Everything was fine, no lumps or bumps and I was looking forward to going on holiday in June to see my brother in the States. Then "WHAM!" out of the blue: "we've found something" followed a week later by "you have breast cancer".
I just can't stop the morbid thoughts whizzing around my head like a swarm of buzzing insects. I want to cry but I'm in work and I can't. The youngest of my two grown up daughters is terribly distressed, my poor, wonderful husband is doing his best but when he sat next to me yesterday to speak with the consultant, it was the third time he had done that with a close relative within 9 years - he looks terrible today.
I know it's early days and that hopefully, this crippling saddness at the sudden change in our lives will ease, but I feel wretched. I feel weak. How has this happened? I'm not angry but inside my head I am crying, "why, why, why?". Any words of wisdom for this miserable cancer novice? How do I stop feeling sorry for myself, get up off the floor and just move forward?
