Hi everyone, I am new to this forum (posting at least) but every post I have read has always been positive and informative so I am hoping I will get a good response back. I had a mammogram, ultrasound and core biopsy done on Friday 13th July. Little tip for y’all out there - NEVER, EVER do this kind of thing on Friday 13th - you know its gonna be unlucky! Anyway told there and then had breast cancer. Met my surgeon following week (don’t mind if I do ladies as Miranda would say!) who was brillant. However still had a problem with my thryoid raging out of control (that was only dx 30/6/12) and heart rate too unstable and erractic so too high risk for surgery. Put me on Tamoxifen for a couple of weeks. Oh, the night sweats! Last appt on Wednesday looked like tumour had grown (originally 2.3cm now appears to be 2.5 cm - in 2 weeks come on you have to be kidding!) and whereas definitely node negative, now looks likely to be node positive. Stopped Tamoxifen and only taking my throid meds now. So chemotherapy scheduled to start next week. Am going on 6 cycles of FEC-T, 3 cycles FEC and then 3 T (Taxotere?). I am 43, a mum of two (13 and 10) and a have a distraught husband. I have put my game face on and I am trying to be brave but feel it would be really good to touch base with others out there in a similar situation as me. Not scared of the dx or what is to come for me - just want to get things fixed - but am worried about impact on my kids and my hubby. Also treatment plan at moment looks like this - 6 cycles of chemo, starting 24/8, 6 week break then surgery (not even going there yet!), break then 5 weeks (?) radiation, and then possibly more chemo. Have told me they are going to throw the book at me. My younger sister was dx with ovarian cancer at 27 so have been through a lot with her and have an idea of what is to come chemo wise at least 
. But if anyone in a similar position or has some good advice or would just like to say hello, would love to chat back. 
Hi Spookymoo
Sorry you find yourself here but must say you have been keeping the hospital busy these last few months
There is a thread for women starting chemo in August, some have already had surgery, some not, but they are all on chemo and will probably have rads then tamoxifen, not necessarily in that order (usual routine for bc I think).
I have already had mastectomy, which was surprisingly painless, have my last fec chemo next week, then on to Tax 3weeks later.
Have a read through the July and August threads and post your fears and worries on there and I’m sure you will find all the help and information you need.
Take care.
Maggie
I had the same diagnosis as you (except mine hasnt been staged) and Im floowwing the same path of treatment! they did the dame thing with my nodes, told me they were fine after the fine needle test, then said hey looked “abnomal” fromthe MRI scan.
I’ve had my FEC-T and my post-chemo scan was today. so Im waiting for the mult-disciplinary team to make their decision re what type of surgery I need.afterwards, radiotherepary and tamoxifen.
on FEC , you can expect the hairloss, tiredness and nausea. the last two vary for people. you migth have sone joint pain on Tax, I say MIGHT, I dont want to worry you… I found a needed a couple of days in bed after chemo, and this got a bit longer each time. on my last dose, Ineeded about a week after my last chemo. then another week.
Even with this. I carried on working full-time: just to give you an idea that you might be able to keep some semblance of normality during chemo(!).
I coped with some of the worry by planning ahead. and taking control of the little things that I could. Can you get any of the back-to-school prep out of the way, given that you’ll be a week out of chemo by the time term starts? Would it help your girls if they cana get involved in anything practical. I have no children, so this is off the top of my head…
Hi
I have had mx. chemo and then 5 weeks of rads for a grade 3 (my lymph nodes joined in) Lobular cancer. My daughter was 5 when I was diagnosed.
To get through the tiredness of chemo, do get as much rest as you can/need. Also, make friends with the on-line grosery shopping options in your area. If you claim a bad back/shoulder, the delivery people will bring everything to your kitchen and the physical effort is minimised. I wish I had got a cleaner sorted before my BC treatment started - the house certainly needs one now. With older children, they may be willing to take on a few household chores for money.
You may want to think about what day to have your chemo too. I had mine on a Monday, as my daughter was at a childminder’s Tuesday and Wednesday, So I had a couple of days before I needed to do the school run (and often got dh to do the Thursday drop-off in chemo week). It also meant that I was getting better by the weekend, so I could do more with Amy. Depending on what days yours do after-school activities, you may want to choose a particular part of the week for your treatment. I was always capable of doing the school run, but got tired easily, so would need a rest after it and going 3-4 times on a Thursday (for Rainbows too) was too much and I would drive for the pickup from Rainbows.
There is a book (that you can download on pdf) called Mummy’s Lump, but this is aimed at children aged 3-10, so may be a little young for your 2. I did read a book while I was in the oncology ward that was a pseudo-diary written for a young teen of the mother’s journey through cancer treatment. It may have been written by a teen, but not too sure. Unfortunately, I can’t remember it’s name, but if you talk to your BCN, she may be able to point you to some books to help prepare your children for what is to come.
Hi Spookymoo, sorry you’re joining the club but it is a good one, full of knowledgable and fab ladies willing to offer support and encouragement. My diagnosis (IDC grade2 lymph node+ ) similar to yours and my children about the same age(12 and 10). I did find telling the children the hardest part - because of the ages they are they understood ‘cancer’ is a scarey disease and also associated it with dying! I tried to be as truthful as possible without scaring them and tried to reassure them that I had a fantastic team of doctors all working hard to get rid of the cancer. My daughter (10year old) asked loads of questions so I was able to reassure her along the way but my son found it all bit difficult at first. With support from their schools they are now coping really well. Remember to keep telling them things as you go through the treatment though to keep them in the loop or they tend to worry. My OH has been fab and doing his best to keep me upbeat and well looked after. it is hard on our partners but you need to focus on you and your needs at the moment so he needs to be the strong one for now and support you through this. I’m om the May chemo thread and only have one more dose to go, to be followed by surgery and possibly rads and then 5yrs tamoxifen. Feel free to pm me if you want, Em x
Hi Emylou9, Thanks so much for your post. I have been out most of the afternoon at the hospital today and have only just managed to look at the website after sorting tea etc. Had to have a bone scan which tok ages waiting around. Also had a appt at the Holistic Therapy Centre (The fountain centre) to see the wig lady. Not really something I was looking forward to - although i spent most of the session laughing my head off at how utterly ridiculous I looked. You all sound so strong and positive and I hope I will be able to keep strong too - I am sure you will all help me through it. I have to say, being a mum, like yourself telling the children was absolutely the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. It is something no-one should ever have to do. But at their age they know when stuff is up - so being honest was the better “Option”. I have found now though that they are totally “cancer-ed out” and don’t want to talk about things - so that’s fine - just telling them things as and when things come up or if they ask a question. My hubby has been great but he is in a bit of a state - his sister died at 42 of Inflammatory Breast Cancer less than a year after her dx (5 years ago) and this is fresh in his memory - so he is finding things really hard. I know everyone on here says chemo different for all of us, and my first one isn’t till next week, so keeping an open mind about that. Am thinking, although it will be completely do-able, it will be totally unpleasant but its temporary. Am getting a bit more worried about surgical options as these are more permanent! What have they said about your surgery? What was the rationale behind chemo first - was it to shrink tumour first? Would be great if to PM you if you would like to. Hopefully hear back from you soon x
Hi Amysmu, You sound so brave - a 5 year old - I don’t think I could handle it if the kids were any younger! They have been taking things in their stride. But things haven’t really started happening yet so this might change when I start chemo. I am scheduled to start on Friday 24/8 - they didn’t give me an option for a day - so I presume it will be everything 3 weeks on a Friday. Not sure how this will fit in with school runs etc, but hoping if I can just hoonky my lungs up over the weekend, by Sunday night I will barely uman enough o function for the rest of the week. Please keep in touch and update with me on your situation.Everyone is so positive on this site - I am finding it a big help.
Hi Gadget-gal Thank you for commenting on my post - I had seen some of your other posts and saw you were on FEC-T too. I am expecting nausea and sickness - especially when oncologist scribbled loads down on his paper when he asked if I had morning sickness when pregnant - and I said “yes, really bad”! Resigned to the hair loss. My ONC said they would try me with the “coldcap” but my sis had this and it didn’t help at all - wondered if anyone else has had any success with the coldcap - or is it a complete waste of time?
Hi Maggie Thax for your reply back to me. I am feeling ok about the chemo - I think it will be do-able -although I know everyone is differernt and as they are switching it like yourself from FEC to T things will be different again- slightly more worried about the mastectomy as this is more permanent. Have to have a chat with my surgeon soon about it so any advice / feedback on your experience would be really helpful.
Hi spookymoo and welcome to the BCC forums
In addition to the support and shared experiences here you may find it useful to call our helpline where you can talk any concerns or queries over with one of our team, lines are open 9-5 weekdays and 10-2 Sat on 0808 800 6000
I am posting a link to the ‘Newly diagnosed’ section of the website where you will find more support ideas and information from BCC:
http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/diagnosis
BCC also offer support to partners and family on the helpline and via the following information packs:
You may find the following booklet useful for your children’s school too:
Take care
Lucy
Hi Spookymoo,
So sorry to read that you have joined this site, but if your like me, it has been a bit of a saviour. I am 36 mummy of two - with a 4 ŷear old and a 20month old and was dx in March with stage 2 IDC, nod- … I’ve already had a mastectomy with immediate LD recon as initially they thought it was just DCIS… Then it there turned out to be a 3cm tumour within the ducts. So, am now on chemo with herceptine and tamoxifen to follow.
I started my chemo in June and am half way through with 6x FEC. Side effects are minimal for me which is good… But am expecting the tiredness to accumulate. Just make sure you take your anti sickness meds all the time!
I am also using the cold cap as loosing my hair has been a far bigger ordeal than having a newly constructed breast. I can still get away with not wearing a wig or head scarf, but sadly have lost all the hair on my crown and parting, so, I have to wear a wide scarf…the Bo-ho chic look! This was due to my cap not being tight enough on the top…just unfortunate. It is definitely worth a go and is no where near as bad a some have said, although it does mean your session will take nearly 4 hrs. But everyones tolerance is different. Hair will fall out on the first round. You may even think the cap is not working But persevere.
I start my 4th cycle in two weeks time but knowing that in 8 weeks time it will all be over 
Wishing you all the best with everything
Take care
Love Hannah x
Hi Hannah So Sorry you have been dx with IDC at such a young age. How have you coped with your young children? You sound so brave. I haven’t had surgery yet - they are going to do chemo first. History of cancer in the family (sis dx at 27 with ovarian - she was given 6 mths to live and still here 12 years on - rock on sis!), and maternal aunts with breast cancer early 50’s so waiting to hear if I will be referred for genetic testing. Any positive result will affect my surgical options (worst case scenario bilateral mastec and ovary removal and hyster). So at the moment am more worried about the surgical stuff. Was quite worried at first about losing my hair - have been with my hubby for 20 years and it has always been shoulder length or longer. Last week I got it all chopped off (like Emma Watson’s elfin look) to prepare for losing it during chemo and I kinda like it now so would be good if I could keep it for a bit longer. So will definitely give the coldcap a go - its worth a try. Haven’t decided what to do about a wig yet. Thought I might just see how it goes. I think it as everyone says here - one day at a time - my normal life will resume in a year! Have you started on tamoxifen yet? I had it for a couple of weeks but didn’t do any good so am off it now. I got really bad night sweats with it though. How did you find the mastectomy - I am a bit worried about reconstruction? Good to hear your experiences.Keep positive I know you will get through it for your kiddies. Wishing you all the best. Emx
Hi spooky moo
Are you being treated in Guildford? I am and my diagnosis is the same as yours.
Michelle xx
Hi Michelle Yes I am being treated in Guildford. Team have been fantastic thus far. Haven’t got but am more than happy with my surgeon he is really good and has been very throrough and positively working for the best cosmetic outcome for me - although surgery a way off yet. How is your treatment going? Have you started chemo yet? Would love to meet up for coffee if you feel up to it? em x
Hi em
Yes I’d love to meet you for a coffee! I’ll send you a pm now.
Michelle xx
Hi Spookymoo
Good to see you’ve had lots of replies.
I had no problem with my mastectomy. Done on a Tuesday, back home on Wednesday. I didn’t go for reconstruction, I’m 65 (although still think I’m a young thing) and didn’t think the possible extra pain and discomfort, longer op, longer time in hospital was worth a boob at my age but that was a personal choice, surgeon did tell me that if I changed my mind about reconstruction then this could be done at any time so I can still change my mind. Again there are lots of younger women on the forum who have had/having reconstruction have a gander through the threads and you will find lots of good stories and a few where things haven’t gone so well.
My mastectomy with node clearance (15 of 18 nodes with cells) was end of May and apart from going back to hospital to have my drains removed a week later, then back to have dressings removed another week later have had no problem. Wound has healed well. First week was the most uncomfortable because of the drains, had to sleep on my back propped up by pillows, I slept in the spare bed for a couple of weeks as didn’t fancy OH elbowing me or possibly catching the tubes. Only took painkillers for a couple of days after surgery because they told me ‘don’t wait for the pain, just take them before it starts’. I always forgot to take them and wasn’t in pain so just stopped.
I really can’t say much more about the surgery, was relatively painless for me - only problem I had was the anesthetist accidentally knocked out one of my crowns and I swallowed it - real pain as I still haven’t had it fixed yet, had to cancel two appointments to have it fixed because it clashed with chemo but it’s still on my ‘to do’ list.
Hope you’re taking care of yourself
Maggie
Hi Spookymo
Having a younger child is probably, in some ways, easier. She had no concept that cancer is a very serious illness, so wasn’t scared when I told her about it. She has asked straight-forward questions, like how will they get the lump out and knows not to pull on my bad arm (as there is an on-going risk of Lymphodema).
Other things I have discussed in relation to her life-experiences. During chemo, my dh shared man-flu so I was in hospital in case it it worse. Luckily (?) her friend was on anti-biotics for tonsillitis, so the iv AB I was on were just a stronger version of that, Also, I had to have a PICC line in my arm (due to poor veins) but Amy had one in her leg as a very small (premature) baby and I could show her the small scar on her ankle, so it could seem normal.
Don’t assume you are going to be sick and if you are, talk to the chemo-unit about it. They give you anti-sickness drugs and can give stronger if necessary. I felt slightly nauseous twice during chemo, but it was only the same level as having drunk a bit too much or over-eating on a pudding when out for a meal.
There are a range of side-effects that you might get, but the persistant one for me was feeling tired and as though I was just getting over flu. Anything I wanted/needed to do was possible, I just had to limit how many things I did and have a rest in between. I could have got up every morning for the school run (and then come back home for a rest on the days just after chemo), but as I didn’t have to, I saved my energy for other things.
Take care
Sue
Hi Em,
I have read a lovely book called ‘Mummys lump’ to the 4 year old.you can down load on the iPad via this site. Its nicely written and gets straight t the point. In the beginning my son would come into the bedroom in the morning and insist on seeding if my pillow was hairy. He then proclaimed that when it all comes out I could join his pirate gang! Sadly for him I wouldnt make a good pirate as my hair has not fallen all out yet!
Being positive depite this being a horrible horrible time in our lives is what keeps me going. It’s a little blip and this time next year will be a better year. I have two small children so I don’t have nay choice. You do it for them
The surgery was initially my biggest fear. I had at the operation on a Friday and was home by the Tuesday. I had a LD flap recon so my surgeon used my back muscle and fat to build my new boob. It’s amazing really and is nice t have a pert boob once again (pre children!) the back and boob never hurt, just the drains which were uncomfortable. I had two seromas- fluid filling under the scar) which needed draining twice and I went home with one drain. I am due for a lift on the good boob and nipple recon in January.
My onc has said that I will start herceptin 6 weeks after chemo has finished with tamoxifen along side I think. Not looking forward to menopausal symptoms at 36!
Everything is undoubtedly daunting and I wish you luck with your results. But everything is also doable. You have to try and be positive and get on with life as normally as possible. I have dark days, primarily re my hair loss which is silly as the new boob is more permanent… But I have made some amazing friends via this website and it’s good to off load. Feel free to pm if you have any questions re e cap or anything else.
You can do this!
All the best x hannah