Thanks so much Dahlia, do you go on the BCPals site? If I get on the site do you mind my sending you a message to see if it works ok? I guess I won't go this route as it all seems to take so long doesn't it? Thanks again.
Can you and this other lady not just register on BCPals and not let BCC's "slow time" approach delay what you want to share?
You wouldn't need to register for their Photo Album (unless you wanted to) but just to exchange email addresses it would only take maye half a day for them to confirm your username etc.
I feel you are giving yourselves unnecessary angst and when I was desperate to see someone's pics I had to do it on BCPals as it was the most expedient route.
I have left it a week before following up on the this thread. I know you said that all your suggestions have been noted, but I wondered if there has been any other thoughts on starting a thread for us to leave email addresses. I do so very much want to get in touch with one particular lady who is thinking of having a reconstruction and I would dearly love to let her see pictures of how well it was done.
I do hope you do not find me presumptuous, it is just very important that I get in touch with her via an email.
Thank you for your comments, please be reassured that all your suggestions have been noted.
Breast Cancer Care
Hi Sam (moderator)
Considering it was I you started this discussion, I feel as if it is my right to ask if anything is going to be done regarding the situation of emailing to other people on this forum.
I seem to have have opened a can of worms without intending to....I am very sorry if I have caused any problems, but what I really would like to know is, if so many of the ladies on this forum do want contact with other people for personal reasons, then why is something not being done about it? Surely there must be a very easy way to let people access email information if they want to?
Again, I stress I am not causing any trouble, I just think, in this day and age of skype, messenger and emails, then I think the websites should move ahead with the times and organize something. You only have to see the postings on this link to see this is what the people want. I have been totally gobsmacked at all the postings, I have been without internet for just 2 days and am amazed at the ladies' postings.
I'm sorry that I was verbally violent in my previous posting. It's just that this was the only site that I felt comfortable on when I first joined, about 2 or more years ago. Because I was able to contact one member via email I made another friend through her. This person, not a breast cancer patient, and I exchanged emails and this wonderful person that I had never met ,picked me up at the airport when I flew to London alone. It was because of the availability of emails that a group of people who never met was able to send flowers to a member that was terminally ill. It was someone who touched many of us.
personally i think it would be nice to be able to access our private messages on the account page, them, if possible, a means of blocking messages from certain people if needs be. I think that if this were possible it would save the moderators having to read everything.
with regards email accounts then maybe insist on it being a "disposable" account, like you can with yahoo. then, if we make a mistake we can 'lose' that account. Although, every email address i have with every provider has the ability to block messages from a user. (yes, i am sad, i have 10 entirely different email addresses (not including disposables) and two for when i have to give an address where i don't want to!)
Hi Roz..yes (sorry!!) it is www.breastcancer.org you can exchange email addresses with no problems there.
Hi Belinda thanks for the information. I googled US Breast Cancer.org but couldn't find anything, perhaps it is just breast cancer.org is it?
Hi Roz a friend and I wanted to get in touch here and I asked the mods if we could exchange addresses but was told it was not possible. In the end we used the US Breast Cancer.org site and exchanged emails there on their private messaging site.
I too hardly post these days although I'm able to meet up with and keep in touch with many I first got to know via the old buttons. I wouldn't use pm as I wouldn't want a mod to read my messages. It would feel like having a conversation with a friend with someone else (a complete stranger) sitting in the corner. Just wouldn't feel right..well not for me anyway.
Best Wishes, Belinda.x
Maybe it would be a good idea if BCC made sure that you actually read the policies before you are allowed to register, and that it told you in their booklets that even though this is a very good informative site, that people can access your postings via google, and really reiterate to users that what they put on here can be seen by others. i have been informed by the moderator that no one can read private messages off here, except for moderators, so i think anything that i feel is quite personal that i wouldn't want read globally will go via pm
I too hardly ever post now. There are some long standing members of BCC I keep in touch with privately. I find it frustrating to offer advice or support to new people as it is impossible to build up a trusting relationship with someone when every word is scrutinised. People NEED private contact, not just message passing. In my darkest days I was able to talk to ladies I had met here on the phone and it really really helped me. I have been able to help others in return, but I will not do it on a public forum, it is not fair to either party, especially when some issues can be so personal.
I agree we are all grown ups and I also feel that is a bit of a joke as how many spam emails do we get from companys who buy email lists and hackers who intercept our details...I find this site a great help but there are somethings we don't want to share every detail we have and I agree a moderator service to exchange emails is a good way to go
Well I agree with the other comments posted. I have been to hell and back in the last four weeks, but it was having access to people you want to email as been the best medicine any one can get......there are somethings you want to talk privately to other people and without those address I do not think I would be here today. I not saying this to you because I have a grudge because this site also got me through a hell of a lot of bad times, but having that extra mile (ie someones email) was the tonic I needed and I am sure other women past present and future would love to received the support personally from someone who has been there.
I would prefer to communicate privately with other members on this site. You will notice I hardly ever post, as I know my postings can be seen globally. Although I do have a email addresses of those members whom I am in constant contact with. How will anyone new to this site, ever get to hear from those who are much more insular.
I value this site as a person who has had and is still battling with the effects of bc, i find the lack of trust very frustrating though, but i suppose until they can find some sort of compromise then this is how is it going to be.
Here here Alison, this is exactly how I feel. I think we should at least have the option of deciding if we wanted more contact with some of the people on the site, especially for showing each other their battle scars etc. We should be given the choice anyway.
Hi, i know this site wants to protect us, but i do agree that if someone wanted to email me, then i should be given the choice as to whether i choose to respond to that person (via the moderator) and if that person did turn out to be dodgy, then they would be reported and kicked off this site, at the end of the day, well, any of us would (i hope) report anything that we felt was amiss on this site, also, i am sure that if people realised about the google thingimijig then they might even think twice about sharing their experiences with us, which would be such a shame, as i feel we can all in some way help each other out so much. so i don't really see why this is such a big issue.
I really don't understand how a moderator from one site can dictate what another site does? If someone doesn't want anyone to have their email address, then just don't go to that site and give it. If you want someone to have it, isn't that your prerogative? Have any of you put your forum name in Google? It will show your postings. Just how secure is that??
We are all adults here with very adult problems. Any help we get is more than we would have had without it.
MS MODERATOR, please allow our members the courtesy of thinking on their own!
Just little old Frobbi
Thanks Dahlia for the advice. I never thought it would be this difficult to send someone a picture of a reconstruction, that I might add is very good and I know if she sees it she will go for it. Thanks again. Love Roz xx
I am not sure if he moderator received my posting regarding emailing on the website, so I am posting it here also in case I didn't send it properly.
I did write to you, I am not sure if you actually got it. I am very sorry if I have caused grief by trying to get an email to someone by writing on this site to ask someone to go to another site to pick up my email address. I do appreciate that we have stalkers or whatever you want to call them on sites like this, but to get around this problem, could something not be sorted out that the person who wants to communicate with another one could send her email address to the site and then the moderator could ask the other person if she wants to get in touch with that person...I know this sounds a bit screwed up but do you understand what I am trying to say.
This is a breast cancer website for people to get in touch with other BC sufferers. I want to show off my breast reconstruction to a lady who would love to see what it looks like, I want to tell her what I have been going through, this is very personal and that is why I want to get in touch with certain ladies.
I really am very sorry for causing any grief with your website, I have been a member of this site since 2004 when I had breast cancer and now getting over brain cancer. I have registered on a brain cancer website and have had no problem exchanging email addresses, so just presumed this site would be the same.